relationships

Spiritual Maturity

I will not and do not pretend that  I have it all together; however, I will say that I am a woman who has learned from her mistakes. One of the biggest mistakes that  I have done in the past is allowing my emotions to control me. Too many times we live off of our feelings when we live from off of our feelings, we don’t make wise choices. Spiritual maturity is knowing how to manage our emotions and not allowing them to control us. It’s good to have feelings they help us to be able to relate to others we can empathize and have compassion, but we can’t allow our feelings to lead us the wrong way. There can be no spiritual growth as long as we follow our feelings; we have to know what feels wrong but choose to do what is right.

The enemy mission is to kill, steal, and destroy the one thing he wants the most is to kill our faith; he tries to do this during times of trouble. How we respond to the enemy attacks is to not act like him but act like Christ. I speak about marriage a whole lot; it’s a covenant that was created by God; marriage is one of the best examples of commitment. Marriage is a beautiful thing, especially when it has God as the foundation. So many marriages end in divorce because people go into it with unrealistic ideas of what marriage is. A word of advice if you are standing in front of the pastor exchanging vows with the thought of if this doesn’t work then. Do Not Get Married!!! Divorce should not be an option if a marriage encounters problems. Unions have problems sometimes  I don’t care how great it is at times. The vows have for better or worse, let’s focused on both words because they are both critical. When people first get married, everything is new, but after a while, it will wear off commitment is suppose to step in, it takes a marriage to a deeper level which is more substantial.

I want a husband that is committed to me once the excitement and newness wear off. I want a husband who loves Christ more than I do, is loyal, faithful, sincere, a leader, and is more stringent than the toughest times that we encounter. Commitment is strength and not giving up just because things don’t feel right anymore. An excellent marriage strength is in its commitment and not just feelings alone; it’s a sign of real victory!! Remember a marriage will lose its newness like a brand new car but you will still keep the car, right? Total commitment is staying committed to the very end.

I’ve come along way, and  I have been through a lot, but I thank God for all of it. Every day I commit to putting on love, kindness, and patience regardless of the situation or how I feel. People have disappointed me, betrayed me, let me down, and hurt me even after  I have been helpful to them. I feel sorry for people who are always angry; it’s a sign that they are operating off of emotions alone, and that is never good. Regardless of how people treat me, I am still going to do things on purpose like loving those who have hurt me and pray for them. Hurt people hurt others healed people heal others; I am whole!! I am always counting the cost of every move that  I make, and I am walking in love too. Thankful so much for becoming strong spiritually off of the Word of God.

Colossians 3:14

And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.

My Greatest Gifts

Merry Christmas to Everyone!!!

I’m not crying the blues; however, being a single parent is tough; that’s a reality. All  I want like most single parents is for my parenting skills to have the effects of a two parent home. I love my two sons with everything that  I have. When  I write papers in class, I always speak of how the ultimate gift of parenting is how your children turn out and how they choose to raise their children like how they were raised.

This year  I was blessed to be able to give my sons some great gifts still  I was going to talk like  I always do with my youngest son about Christmas. As  I have shared, my youngest has autism, so things have to be repeated a lot until he grasps it. I walked in the bedroom with my youngest, and he goes to Jesus the reason for the season. The tears just started to stream down my face even with his disability; he understands what Christmas is what an awesome gift that was for me to receive. I want to thank God every day I pray for the best for my sons; one of the things that  I want them to have the most is for them to have a relationship with Christ. I have instilled into my children that without Christ, we are nothing so never leave Him out of anything. It’s not Happy Holidays, Xmas; it’s Merry Christmas always, Christ is to be kept in everything always. When we allow God to lead our paths, we can’t go wrong, and things can only go right.

The second gift that  I received was a letter from my oldest son he wrote:

I love you mom

Merry Christmas mom your love is more powerful than a nuclear bomb. You’re better than the rest. You are a fighter and a great provider. You are so smart. You get A’s on your school work, and I am proud to call you my mom. I pray that you have lots of success because you deserve it. Merry Christmas mom I love you very much!

I want to thank Christ for all that He has done and what He continues to do. God is the reason why I made it this far in life and with raising my sons.

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Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

Recently I watched a video and the guy was saying that nice guys always finishes last that mean guys get the beautiful girls. Immediately it got me to thinking about last according to whom? Who’s race was he watching? We all have hopes, dreams and wants I get it. But we cannot get caught up in man’s race. If we look at others as competition and try to keep up with what they are doing then of course you will come in last. When we try to race in someone’s else race we will always finish last in someone else’s race; it’s not our race.

I don’t know about man’s race but  I know that God keeps His promises every last one of them. God does not lie because He can’t lie!!! God’s timing is perfect. It’s okay to glance at other people’s blessings as an inspiration only not as a competition. Everything that God does is incredible especially His blessings. If we stare at other people’s blessings like driving on the road staring at another car we will miss our turn. If we keep our eyes on the road that God has destined for us only we can win. No one can finish last in their own race. Being in competition with others is very unhealthy anyway we need to focus on the road that God has already mapped out for us individually.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 – To every [thing there is] a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

 

A Letter To My Boaz

The Book of Ruth has been a blessing in my life. It made me want to be the best wife that I could be when God feels that  I am ready. I want to live according to His will. On my journey, things will come along as a distraction to get me to miss my blessings. To me, the most significant sign of maturity of a person’s walk is admitting to their faults and learning from them. When I got married ,God wasn’t in it, a marriage cannot survive without God being the foundation. God wasn’t in it but who knows what God can do. Everyone wants marriage but not the responsibilities that come with it.

Another thing this doesn’t apply to me but a good man wants a good woman of good quality. It’s not a good thing to be posting distasteful photos on the internet remember:

ruth-boaz

Back on topic, I learned that sometimes gaining something you may have to lose something. I also learned that if you have a relationship with Christ, there will be less tough lessons to learn because you will be in tune with His voice. Christ is hope with Him in our lives; we will always make the right choice.

To my future Boaz:

I want to thank God

For making you just for me

A faith, loyal, praying

Man of God

Even though we both have

Encountered tough times

God allowed us to survive

We learned what we wanted

Wasn’t what we needed

That when God isn’t in our lives

There’s more of a chance of

Us not doing what’s right

You need to know that  I value you

Already without even meeting you

Yet

I respect you

My Boaz with Ephesians five standards

I trust your leadership

Because  I trust God first

I want to pray with you

Read the Bible with you

Worship and fellowship

With you

If you have children

They are included too

Understand that there is no we or us

If everything or everyone that we love

Isn’t involved

I want to be a problem solver

Not a trouble maker

I want to ease your pain

And not cause it

I don’t care about material things

They come and go

Besides the Bible says that when

A man finds a wife he finds a good

Thing and will receive favor from

The Lord

So until the day, we come together

I want  you to know that

I am working on being awesome for

God and you

I want you to be my Boaz

And  I want to be your Ruth

I love the Book of Ruth

Ruth 2:4  And, behold, Boaz came from Bethlehem, and said unto the reapers, The Lord be with you. And they answered him, The Lord bless thee.thee.6

Last Month of the Year

My, My, My this year sure went by really fast. The year 2017 will be here before we all know it. I have to say that  I am pretty content with the way my year went. I’m very thankful for the things that happened and the things that didn’t. I am thankful for the people who came, went, and the ones who stayed it was all apart of God’s plan. There have been situations that have gotten me to think about what took place throughout my life. I’m taking a new course called Intercultural Competence it’s fascinating so far in the class we had to write about an experience in our lives that impacted us. The life experience that came to mind immediately was being a single parent. I am so thankful for having a relationship with Christ if it wasn’t for Him, not sure what my life would be like.

When  I think of single parenting, I reflect on the way  I was raised. I grew up in a single parent home for a short period which is sadly the norm in the African American community. I’m used to getting slammed for my views; however, I don’t care someone has to speak about it. I have numbers to back up what  I say African Americans are a minority yet 57.6% of fathers are absent from the home 31.2% of Hispanic fathers are absent from the home, and 20.7 white fathers are absent it’s a cold situation. Something has to be done; I am not sure exactly I have three sisters, and every one of us is single moms; it’s worth thinking about. I care about the children my mother was blessed to have someone special to come along; unfortunately, not everyone is. I would like to see a positive outcome, not sure how it will happen all  I know is God can do anything. I’m stay prayed up; it’s all we can do when there are no other solutions in sight — just looking forward to having a stronger relationship with Christ so I can continue to weather any storm that comes along.

This month  I believe in Christ doing something big, being an incredible mother, lasting relationships, success in my education, being a blessing to others and for God to use me anyway that He can. Lord, I’m ready to do Your Will and what You want me to do. I realize it took a certain situation to happen to help me to become a better person. Whether we want to believe it or not making us better may mean some not so good things were happening. December may be the last month and cold too; however, one can still look on the bright side new beginnings are on the way.

Trusting the Process

I’d be lying if I said that certain things didn’t make me wonder what God was doing. There has been times when I wasn’t sure whether I was going or coming. But I remembered all the times when God brought me through. I’m trusting God so I have no choice but to trust the process. Everything that God allows us to go through serves a process and we become better because of it.

So I have allowed myself not to be bitter but better and to be silent while I listen to God’s still voice. Learning not to be sad but glad there’s no room for worry. Praying for everyone who has hurt me and let my children down as well as comfort too. I think the best way to be successful in understanding the process is disowning the things that man may try to tell you about yourself. God opinion is the only one that holds the most value.

Lord I know what You told me so I trust You through it all no matter what happens or how things looks like. I know that everything will be alright. Lord I know that You know what is best for my life I know because I can feel what is to come. Lord you show us things everyday which are signs of what’s to come the sunset is a sign of night approaching and cloudy skies is a sign of a storm. On the flip side a sunrise is sign of a new day. A storm comes to an end and so we see a rainbow. Lord I love You and I know that You will see me through just like You always do.

The Letter

My life keeps getting more and more interesting every minute. I’m a massive fan of the movie Immortal Beloved it’s about the life of Beethoven. There are so many parts of the film I love the actor Gary Oldman did a fantastic job. Gary Oldman brought the movie to life he’s a brilliant actor underrated for sure. This movie came out in 1994, perhaps my top favorite thing besides the music was a letter that Beethoven wrote to the woman that he truly loved. Ahhhhh yes I love the words “ever thine ever mine ours”  words from a great man ever. I know what you are thinking what is Tameeka talking about now? I’ll be getting to that in a minute. My ex and I are like opposites it’s the truth. I don’t hate him; I look back at what we had as a life lesson. It is what it is. The posts that I write are to encourage and inspire somebody. I believe that there is someone somewhere who’s going through what I am going through. Anyway back on topic.

It’s incredible when you are trying to move on things from the past fall out of nowhere. I found a letter written by my ex from five years ago. That’s right five years ago. I think the purpose of the letter could be for closure. It wasn’t about the letter being from him it was about what was in it. He wrote me many different letters it’s weird that this one suddenly appears. Out of all the letters written why this one I have moved from one address to another and this letter pops up. The letter had several different questions, so I assume that perhaps these are unanswered questions that he may have. I will answer the questions in this post it’s not like he’ll ever read it anyway it’s all about healing. Healing is a great thing.

When my ex ask questions he always wants it done with a “simple yes or no” well things aren’t always that easy.  The paragraph starts with,”Let me ask you these questions because it seems that I am not getting a straight answer from you just answer these questions with a yes or no let’s keep it simple.” Do you still want to be with me? Do you even miss me? Do you love me? Why don’t you ever say that you love me? Do you regret being with me? When my ex got locked up, it made me very angry. I wanted an intact family, and it got destroyed, so I was mad for a long time. When he went away to prison in 2007, I called about the status, and when the lady told me 240 months, I was devastated. My world came crashing down life that I knew had changed. I’m no different from other mothers I wanted the house with the white picketed fence things were ruined in a blink of an eye. At the time I did miss him, it wasn’t about the financial help our sons were growing up without him. He missed out on a massive chunk of our children’s lives so many memories he will never have. Did I love him ever yes I did? I will always have some love for him. Real women are in touch with their feelings, and they keep it 100. It’s amazing how people can’t see how a person loved them. I showed it and told him that too. I never regretted being with my ex; it took him to make our two sons. Our sons are like a replica of us; it’s quite astonishing. I never regretted him, and I never will.

I believe that closure can only happen when things are faced, or we will continue to think about things and reliving situations that have been long over. Being stuck in the past only robs the present, which is a gift. I can’t change what happened, but I have forgiven my ex as well as let go of lots of anger. My ex needs to let go of his anger too because there’s no sense in it. I pray for my ex’s salvation because he doesn’t believe in Christ. I pray that God powerfully touches his heart. For him to have a blessed a life, he has to let go of the anger and the hate it will only poison all of his relationships, including the ones with our children. Taking the same old bricks into a new relationship will only destroy it and I don’t want our children to ever blame themselves. Father God touch my ex’s heart so it will soften and he let’s You in so that You can give him a new start. Lord You know that I mean every word and it’s coming from the heart. Please handle it Father God everything is in Your Hands. I thank You in advance. Amen.

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things passed away; all things are become new.

Bittersweet

I’ve prayed about it

I’ve allowed God to handle it

I’ve made room to forgive

It’s over

It’s finally over

Now I can

Start to experience closure

Trying to describe how

I’m feeling right now

It’s like trying to describe

The taste of water

As I have gotten older

I have realized that

Trying to reflect back on memories

It’s like physically trying to look

Over your shoulder

I’m just not that flexible

I’ve tried my very best

Yet in some cases

Ended up with less

There’s no need to cry over spilled milk

There’s absolutely no sense in it

I’m still blessed regardless

I just look at things as

Life learned lessons

Many things took place

Between you and I

You have no idea

Of how many tears

That I have cried

I really tired

Deep down inside

Apart of me feels like it wants to die

Yet there’s so much

That I would like to forget

I know that you had a purpose

After all we have two great kids

Here I go again

I have to stop this

I have to begin

The healing process

I have to do it

I have strength

It’s weird still

A small part of

This situation I can’t grasp

Am I still in love

Yeah right don’t make me laugh

The way that you act

Your middle name should be

Jackass or dumbass

Because you played a huge part

Of helping to put something that

Could have been special into the past

I won’t blame you totally

I also share responsibility

This ending is bittersweet

I came across a thought

Of you I actually smiled

And I felt a tear roll down my cheek

Yet I’m fine if we never speak

You have to leave

Something behind in order

To go forward

The hardest part of moving on

Is putting the pieces

Of your broken heart back together

And be brave enough to love again

It’s finally the end

It’s a tough pill to swallow

Tough to accept that we didn’t work out

A fresh start isn’t bad

I know that God has my back

So there’s no need to be sad

You Are Worth The Wait

Celibacy is a hot topic different people have different opinions on the subject. In my opinion it’s best to wait because we are worth the wait. If a man or woman cannot wait, it’s best to let them go, they are not worth your time. I will repeat these words several times to drive it home. Besides a person who loves you truly will respect you and your wishes.

Ladies, there are men out there who are celibate to think that we are alone in the waiting game is not being realistic. With sexually transmitted diseases being at an all-time high, it’s clear that God’s way is the best way. When we wait, it gives us a chance to know for sure if a person is right for us. I don’t know about you, but I will rather be heartbroken with my standards intact. God created lovemaking as a way for a husband and wife to bond. Souls are being connected you are special therefore you should not be getting connected to just anyone. Anyone who can lay down with anybody without any thought is a dangerous soul to get with anyway.

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Premarital sex has so much confusion and remembers God is not of confusion. If you come across a person, who says that they can’t wait to be like oh you can’t wait to get married? Because I am not having sex until I am married. Stand your ground; it’s your body. Making a person wait is your choice, and it’s also the person’s choice to accept it if they can’t, then they can leave. Think about it you’re good enough to sleep with but not to marry? Look, God said that He would give us the desires of our hearts if a person doesn’t feel that you are worthy to let them go. Intimacy is one of the most precious gifts that you can give a person don’t allow them to devalue it; it’s priceless. Don’t let a person to treat you like you are pawn shop worthy when you are Tiffany jeweler worthy if your price is too high tell them “bye.” Compromising happens during the marriage, not when you are in the process of receiving what God has for you. God has the absolute best, so don’t settle for less. Treat that person like you would when you get into a car accident, you go to a lawyer and not settle. That’s what we must do allow God to handle all of our business.

A true man or woman of God will do things God’s way because they respect it, and they want to do what’s right. A person who loves you will not pressure you to go against God’s way. Let’s be honest when was there a time when God’s way did not work? I can’t tell you the number of times when I was happy doing God’s will. Being celibate is hard. I think it helps to have people in your circle who is celibate too. Another suggestion is when you go out on a date, make sure that it’s in public don’t put yourself into a position for an opportunity to present itself. Date a person that’s on the same page as you and that will help to reduce having a slip-up. Most importantly, keep these five words in mind you are worth the wait.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20

18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

Politics Gets The Side Eye

Okay I have a confession to make politics annoys me. Politics divides good people and things can gets really ugly. Whether you are for Clinton or Trump who cares why does it have to get bad? Bottom line it’s our choice our vote is our voice. Why can’t people agree to disagree?

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