Who Cares?

I am digging down deep in the depths of my soul and saying this in the most nonchalant way. “Who cares?” Who cares about who a person dated in their past? If it’s not affecting you in any kind of way why is it any of your business?

I have touched on this subject before however a recent situation pushed me to blog about it once more. A black woman literally felt compelled to explain her current dating choice because of her past dating choices. Obviously, this is pertaining to interracial dating. I am over people who want to bond through pain because they can’t stand to see others happy. Who this woman was in the past and who she is today more than likely aren’t the same. Everything happens for a reason and everything serves some kind of purpose. Bad situations can teach people that they deserve better. We live. We learn. We grow. This black woman used to date both black and white men. She has since decided to date white men only. So what? There could be several reasons why she has chosen to change her dating choices things like past relationships or doing what she always wanted to do. I can totally relate. My mother didn’t welcome my preference for white men and she made me feel like I was doing something wrong. I get that she came up in a different time but it didn’t change my desires. She allowed me to listen to heavy metal but watching the videos was so hard. I loved watching video of handsome white men with gorgeous long hair. The video for Christian Woman by Type O Negative changed my life.

We all are quick to say live your life but if you don’t have the support of your family certain life events can be difficult to pursue. Especially when they are making you feel as if you are doing something wrong or they show that they are straight against it. We all need support. Which is the reason why people keep their deepest desires to themselves until they feel confident enough to act on them.

It’s so important for us to love and know ourselves enough to do what is best for us in our lives. If there is one that I have learned over the years through the bullying etc is that it’s important to love yourself. I have seen people attempting to expose someone else as a way to stop them from pursuing their happiness. The same way this black woman’s past relationships is being exposed. Just because a person is afraid to act on their desires doesn’t give them a green light to influences yours these people’s opinions should be the least to be concerned about. Especially if these people are strangers. Why are these people attempting to stop someone else’s happiness? We should never forget that messengers have motives. Some people will stop at nothing to keep others miserable. What could be so wrong about being attracted to someone from a different race? After all love has no color. We should be able to love who we want unapologetically without feeling the need to explain ourselves.

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It is Better to Have Loved

Growing up my mind was consumed
Of dreams of having a house
With a white picket fence
Stories of
Cinderella and Snow White
That consisted of highlights of a kiss given
That broke a horrible spell
Or being set free
From the bondage
Of an ungrateful wicked family
Who happiness
Was a beauty’s misery
Still the endings
Were always ones of
Happily ever afters
Then I grew up
And realised
That real love isn’t
A fairy tale
That true love
Sometimes consists of
Having an understanding
That a special moment
Is sometimes all that we are
Blessed to have
It could be the right person
But the wrong time
It could be the right time
But the wrong person
They may not be in a position
To give what is required
Even holding on
For longer than
We should can have long lasting
Consequences
I am not saying that
Having love isn’t important
Because it is
Love alone isn’t always enough
Is all that I am saying
Love is beautiful
Being in love is amazing
Even more so
When it’s mutual
When the love is true
The love is without boundaries
It’s given completely
Unapologetically
Free of the fear
Of being vulnerable
Not concerned about
Who loves who the most
Because true love is
Immeasurable
It’s a true treasure
With the heavy appraisal tag worth
Of being accountable and responsible
In order for things to work
Being prepared
For the possible
Finality of a relationship
That’s the reality of life
It’s loving a person enough
To let them go
Even though it
Was something
That we never dreamt of doing
It’s always wishing
Them well no matter what
The outcome is
If the feeling is the opposite
Then perhaps it wasn’t
Real love to begin with
True love isn’t selfish
It’s being totally committed
It’s being selfless
Real love, true love
Isn’t a fairy tale
Just by our judgment and actions alone
When we are in love
Shows that it’s not easy to
Create or imagine
It’s raw and not simple
Love doesn’t guarantee
That people won’t get hurt
Still as the famous
Quote goes
It is better to have loved
And lost than never to
Have loved at all

Eyes Wide Open

I’ve been so meaning to write about this for over a week now. I am not into celebrity news but I have written about Ciara a couple of times. Ciara changed her choice of men and found her prince.

In the past Ciara dated rappers Future and Slim Thug. Recently Slim Thug accused Ciara of marrying the Seahawk’s quarterback Russell Wilson for financial stability. This goes right back to my post from yesterday about how some black men waste good years on things that doesnt matter. Slim Thug further went on to call Russell Wilson “corny”. To guys like Slim Thug being a Christian, a one woman’s man and responsible is corny. This proves what I have being saying all along about the shortage of quality black men.

Slim Thug also said that women who date bad boys can’t date good guys. How much sense does that make? Remember the saying about kissing toads until finding a prince, making wrong turns before making a right one or experience is the best teacher. We are not our past some people refuse to allow people to be happy. Another thing what are bad boys about? So because they don’t want to change the women who date them doesn’t deserve better? Is he saying that bad guys aren’t about anything or that they can’t change? Many questions can come from what Slim Thug is saying and they aren’t good ones. Words are like a boomerang when you throw them at others they come back.

As we get older we realize what’s important and what’s not. Sadly some people never get it and they never mature. I love Ciara response to all of her haters and butt hurt exes:
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Being cool isn’t having children all over the place that are not receiving hands on parenting, sleeping around, or hanging out in the streets wasting time.

There are some people who don’t want to change for the better and get jealous of the people who do. These same people will attempt to instill fear into others or destroy their happiness. They have wasted so much time until they don’t have a enough to make up for what’s lost. Life is too short to be in struggle love or poverty. There is more to life and it isn’t just heartbreak or paying for poor choices. When we learn from our mistakes our growth is our reward and we reap a harvest that is plentiful. The people who don’t want to learn this life lesson are just plain pitiful.
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Love Wins in the End

Happy Sunday to Everyone! I pray and hope that everyone is enjoying this beautiful day!

My day started wonderful as I have just found out about another amazing interracial couple. The couple’s names were Frederick Albert and Elinor Powell.

Long before the Lovings there was Frederick and Elinor who fell in love during World War 2! Frederick was a white man and Elinor was a black woman.

Their story is incredibly amazing and inspiring! The heart wants what the heart wants.

Love always wins in the end!

Waiting to Be Forgiven

Learning the art of forgiveness can sometimes be a hard lesson to take. Everyone talks about the hurt that has happened to them and how they have trouble forgiving the person who has wronged them. Sadly we are living in a world where people are always the victim and they never accept accountability for anything. Still, does anyone ever think about how would it feel if the shoe were on the other foot? What if it’s you who is waiting to be forgiven? Is it ever too late to say that you are sorry? Whether it was unintentional or intentional everyone has hurt someone before. Nobody is above offending someone.

Yes. It’s always best to forgive after all forgiveness is for our peace of mind. It’s mentally exhausting stressing about something that we have no control over. Life is not like a dvd there are no alternate endings things are what they are. So there is no need to continuously regurgitate a situation.

I read a post about forgiveness that was interesting it almost sounded like a guilt trip. It said something about not blocking blessings by holding grudges aka unforgiveness in one’s heart. When we are the ones waiting to be forgiven we can’t speed up the process no matter how much it may hurt. Like a cut or bruise it takes time to heal.

I also thought about a television show that featured a situation that required forgiveness. A boyfriend caught his girlfriend kissing a close friend of theirs. The boyfriend was destroyed he loved his girlfriend so much. The girlfriend apologized and the boyfriend accepted it however he asked her for space. For weeks the girlfriend did everything that she could to make situations happen so that she could cross her boyfriend’s path. Finally the girlfriend built up the courage to talk to her boyfriend. She told him that it had been weeks and that she wanted to talk. The boyfriend called her out on her actions immediately telling her that he told her that he needed some space and that she only wanted to talk so that she could feel better about herself. He further went on to say that he knew that it was hard for her but it wasn’t his problem.

When we try to force a person to forgive us on our terms it can make the person that we offended question if our apology was even authentic. We have to remember that everyone is different and heal at different rates. This is why it’s important to respect a person’s space if they ask for it.

Forgiveness is a two way street. If we ever hurt someone we should apology quickly, own it, and make things right. When we own what we have done it should not be shared. Making a person share the blame for what we have done is never cool. Sometimes we can hurt a person so badly that it may actually burn a bridge and we have to move on. As we get older it should be about doing adult things like producing a healthy environment with the people that we care about. It’s childish and selfish to care only about ourselves. It’s important if we can to not do things that can jeopardize relationships with the people who we care about. I would rather spend my time enjoying the relationships that I have with people instead of waiting to be forgiven.

The Haunted Mansion

I find the men who have trouble with commitment quite comical. No one and I do mean no one is going to stop me from being happy for people who are getting married or have gotten married especially for Her Royal Highness, The Duchess of Sussex and Duke of Sussex, Earl of Dumbarton and Baron Kilkeel. I was so stoked for Prince Harry and Meghan’s wedding yesterday, ooh and that gospel choir though!!!

These kinds of men will tug (attempt to anyway) at a woman’s self-esteem until they are able to bring them down to their level/standards. Newsflash if a man is one of substance he would not try to bring a woman down. Mind you if they are able to bring a woman down it is not for a commitment it’s only to use and abuse her while bashing the woman after she has given in and done what he wanted. A woman isn’t good enough for commitment but she’s good enough to have sex with.

Women must be careful of these kinds of men real men don’t do these kinds of things. These kinds of men possess soul ties so many souls that are tied to them that they no longer possess a temple but more like a haunted mansion. They have trouble with commitment however unbeknownst to them soul ties are for life and they need to get their lives right. We all need to pray for discernment so that we don’t connect with the wrong people.

As long as we are living we all deserve to smile so there is no time to entertain people whose main objective is to prey on you. We are better than that.

Stand Alone

A marriage can be looked at like the game of chess
Chess may be a game but the strategy aka master plan
Is of something bigger
There is a lot that we all can learn
Like the chess board
It’s right in black and white
There are many people on board
That has the king’s back
They are all ready to battle
Still a king must realize
How important his queen is
There are 8 pawns
There are two rooks
There are two knights
There are two bishops
Yet one queen
The queen is the king’s protector
After everyone has fallen
After it’s all said and done
It’s the king and queen who stand alone