The Letter

My life keeps getting more and more interesting every minute. I’m a massive fan of the movie Immortal Beloved it’s about the life of Beethoven. There are so many parts of the film I love the actor Gary Oldman did a fantastic job. Gary Oldman brought the movie to life he’s a brilliant actor underrated for sure. This movie came out in 1994, perhaps my top favorite thing besides the music was a letter that Beethoven wrote to the woman that he truly loved. Ahhhhh yes I love the words “ever thine ever mine ours” ¬†words from a great man ever. I know what you are thinking what is Tameeka talking about now? I’ll be getting to that in a minute. My ex and I are like opposites it’s the truth. I don’t hate him; I look back at what we had as a life lesson. It is what it is. The posts that I write are to encourage and inspire somebody. I believe that there is someone somewhere who’s going through what I am going through. Anyway back on topic.

It’s incredible when you are trying to move on things from the past fall out of nowhere. I found a letter written by my ex from five years ago. That’s right five years ago. I think the purpose of the letter could be for closure. It wasn’t about the letter being from him it was about what was in it. He wrote me many different letters it’s weird that this one suddenly appears. Out of all the letters written why this one I have moved from one address to another and this letter pops up. The letter had several different questions, so I assume that perhaps these are unanswered questions that he may have. I will answer the questions in this post it’s not like he’ll ever read it anyway it’s all about healing. Healing is a great thing.

When my ex ask questions he always wants it done with a “simple yes or no” well things aren’t always that easy. ¬†The paragraph starts with,”Let me ask you these questions because it seems that I am not getting a straight answer from you just answer these questions with a yes or no let’s keep it simple.” Do you still want to be with me? Do you even miss me? Do you love me? Why don’t you ever say that you love me? Do you regret being with me? When my ex got locked up, it made me very angry. I wanted an intact family, and it got destroyed, so I was mad for a long time. When he went away to prison in 2007, I called about the status, and when the lady told me 240 months, I was devastated. My world came crashing down life that I knew had changed. I’m no different from other mothers I wanted the house with the white picketed fence things were ruined in a blink of an eye. At the time I did miss him, it wasn’t about the financial help our sons were growing up without him. He missed out on a massive chunk of our children’s lives so many memories he will never have. Did I love him ever yes I did? I will always have some love for him. Real women are in touch with their feelings, and they keep it 100. It’s amazing how people can’t see how a person loved them. I showed it and told him that too. I never regretted being with my ex; it took him to make our two sons. Our sons are like a replica of us; it’s quite astonishing. I never regretted him, and I never will.

I believe that closure can only happen when things are faced, or we will continue to think about things and reliving situations that have been long over. Being stuck in the past only robs the present, which is a gift. I can’t change what happened, but I have forgiven my ex as well as let go of lots of anger. My ex needs to let go of his anger too because there’s no sense in it. I pray for my ex’s salvation because he doesn’t believe in Christ. I pray that God powerfully touches his heart. For him to have a blessed a life, he has to let go of the anger and the hate it will only poison all of his relationships, including the ones with our children. Taking the same old bricks into a new relationship will only destroy it and I don’t want our children to ever blame themselves. Father God touch my ex’s heart so it will soften and he let’s You in so that You can give him a new start. Lord You know that I mean every word and it’s coming from the heart. Please handle it Father God everything is in Your Hands. I thank You in advance. Amen.

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things passed away; all things are become new.

Back Up Plan

The back up plan aka the rebound relationship. No one wants to be a victim of a rebound relationship. Love and basketball don’t go together I don’t care about the movie. The only rebound I want to know about is in the basketball game not in love. It makes a person look like a clown and clowns are for kids like Trix cereal. So let’s be an adult about adult situations after a break up feel the pain and reflect on what has happened. If the relationship hurt you let it burn like Usher. Relationships ends for various reasons two people were in it and both people big or small had a hand in the demise of it ending. It’s not cool to bring someone else into your life as a way to ease the pain. It’s okay to be single it doesn’t hurt it gives one a chance to work on oneself. Love is something that can’t be rushed so take it easy.

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It’s so important to analyze the person that you are dealing with especially when the relationship is new. Make sure that they are over their ex there will be warning signs so don’t ignore them. They may talk about their ex all the time even in a negative light however they still are talking about them thus they are not I repeat not over them. Also be careful that you aren’t being used to make their ex jealous that’s also a sign that they still care for their ex. Yes it’s pretty pathetic for them to try to make a person jealous who didn’t care about them in the first place however people still do it. Growing up we’re taught to be a good sport that second place is okay. That being number one doesn’t matter please keep in mind that this doesn’t apply in relationships and marriages. No one deserves to be treated as something to do until the person who didn’t want them in the first place feels like being bothered. If the person valued them in the first place they wouldn’t have let them go. So don’t open yourself up to being hurt.

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Keep this in mind always we deserve the best in our lives. Life is too short to be deprived or playing games with people.

Don’t be the appetizer

Be the main course

Don’t be the minor

Be the major

Don’t be the back up plan

Be the only plan

Because you are first choice

Don’t be someone’s right now love

Be someone’s lifetime love

Our hearts are valuable and fragile

Never allow loneliness or any type of circumstances to drive you into the arms where you don’t belong. The last thing you want is to be with the wrong one and miss out on the right one all because you didn’t want to be alone. Don’t be a rebound it makes you look like a clown and no one likes to be the butt of someone’s joke.