What’s Really the Problem?

Not too long ago I wrote about a post that a white woman wrote addressing black people. She questioned why some black people had an issue when one or the other dates outside of the race. It was definitely crazy how she pointed that out.

The Justin McClure’s situation has gotten crazy and nerve racking. Like leave that man in peace to love his family. It’s sickening how some of the people from the black community are behaving. I question what’s really the issue. To be honest the only people that he needs to answer to is his family.

I’m not giving up on hope for some black women they will come around eventually. I can’t name all of the things that my mother used to tell me and now I see what she meant. We have to extend the same courtesy to others because none us woke up and just got something. A lot of the reasons why we make the choices that we make is because something influenced it. Most people ask for advice for a reason whether they choose to accept it is another.

Why do some black people take delight in other people’s pain? It’s disgusting because it’s only exposing how people truly are. Waiting to be able to say I knew that they wasn’t perfect. Well who told you to put a human being on a pedestal so high done with the hopes that they will fall. Just so you can talk about it. Blackheartedness that is plain ugly. Vengeful spirited people scare me because they obsess about destroying a person. They don’t stop until their vengeance is fulfilled. And do you know what’s even more scary how hungry that they are about making it happen. Literally starving almost foaming at the mouth like a ravage dog. Instead of putting that kind of energy into leading a productive life. Some people are so freaking spiteful.

My mother used to say that some black people are like crabs in a basket. Crabs in a basket means a syndrome where a group of like situated people hurt those in their community attempting to get ahead. Often this is applied to people in an impoverished community where one person is starting to get ahead. The collective community becomes jealous or filled with a sense of self-loathing, so they find a way to pull that person back down to the community’s level.
When harvesting crab, the crab as a group will pull down any crab that starts to climb out of the barrel in an attempt to be the first out of the barrel that holds them in, hence crabs-in-a-barrel.

My mother dated only black men she wasn’t a swirler but she was a truth teller. She was born in the 50s so she witnessed a lot of stuff pertaining to some black people. Is that the problem? Some black people have a crab in a basket syndrome? If that is not the case then quit going after other people’s happiness as if you are on a witchhunt. Level up in the spirit regardless of your beliefs that way you’ll learn to be in competition with yourself and not obsess about destroying others.

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I’m Not For Racism

I’m not for racism but I can’t stand hypocrisy either. Stupidity doesn’t work well for me. I have said this time and time again I hate the “N” word, no one should use it regardless of their race!

Yes. The CEO of Papa John’s was wrong along with everyone who uses racial slurs no one is better than a anyone else. Some black people use the “N” word but get up in an uproar when someone from another race uses it. What’s the difference? Can someone please explain this to me? I read a post from a person stating that they didn’t feel sorry for the CEO of Papa John’s that they don’t feel sorry for racists. Yet this person has never corrected the black people who uses the word. The person only talked about the “racist white people” who uses it. Well let me ask something is a black person who uses the “N” word racist? One needs to be careful about the reasons why it’s okay for black people to be able to use that word.

The definition of the “N” word is Slang: Extremely Disparaging and Offensive.
a contemptuous term used to refer to a black person.
a contemptuous term used to refer to a member of any dark-skinned people.

This is why I speak of the dysfunction within the black community some thinks it’s okay to use the “N” like they get a free pass. If this word is so offensive why is it okay for anyone to use it? I have some people who want to bully me because of my mentality it’s okay with me because I don’t take them seriously.

I get tired of all the foolishness that I see. Every time a white person gets caught saying a racial slur “it’s see I told you” but they don’t correct the black people who say it. I believe and I could be wrong but some people love to choose battles that are easy. Some black people know if they complain enough companies will fire people and apologize immediately. They won’t say anything to the black people who use the “N” because they may use it themselves or the feel that they are justified to use it.

Some people have a bullying spirit they are ready to jump on those who they can intimidate. Just like how some of these black men be on the internet calling black women names and talking about how they are. Some of these black men claim to care about the community but they don’t say a word to black men. The last time I checked the black community consisted of more than just the women. And no I’m not getting off track I’m talking about the hypocrisy that goes on.

When some black people get upset about another race using the “N” word and not their own. Isn’t that calling the kettle black? Come on now!!! People are good at holding up a mirror up at other people but would rather drop it and chance getting cut by glass before they are willing to face themselves.

Love Isn’t

If I see another commercial for the new show Love is, I am going to scream. Love is a new show that will be on OWN the commercial is being played in heavy rotation. It looks like it’s about struggle love and well I won’t be watching it.

Guess who doesn’t seem to be enduring struggle love? Okay, I’ll give you a hint. The show Love is will be on her network. Yeap. Oprah. We all know goodness well that she wouldn’t take any kind of mess from no one especially from a man. She has been with Stedman for how many years? I’m pretty sure that she has never had to question Stedman’s love for her or take any kind of mistreatment. I bet he has proposed too. But she’s featuring struggle love on her network. Come on now.

We all know that most people mimic what they see on television. That’s why on commercials that displays crazy stunts there are small words on the bottom of the t.v screen saying please do not attempt because there are people who are silly enough to do it. Just look at the fire challenges and other crazy challenges.

Lets talk about what love isn’t it’s not a struggle because real love shouldn’t be. I for one am not glutton for punishment. Yeah I said it. One have to question their self-esteem if they are willing to put up with mistreatment. Some things are by choice whether we choose to accept this or not.

When I watch Maury and the women be on the show talking about the reasons why they feel that their men are cheating. I be thinking to myself how much more proof do you need? Why do you need a lie detector test? The boyfriend or husband is then brought on stage to tell their lie I mean their side of the story. Maury reads the results that these women already knew. Sometimes these men make out with a decoy knowing it’s a set-up but they don’t care. The women run backstage crying while the men are looking all stupid in the face and some be snickering. Why should it be such a power struggle between what you deserve and why you choose to settle for less? I just don’t get it.

What is going on? Now a days it’s about how much abuse is a person willing to take to prove their love, it’s crazy to me. We teach people how to treat us. A person who truly loves you would never want to see you hurt.
Let-it-Go_0

Bottom line when you force yourself to be with someone who isn’t meant for you, you’re only prolonging what is meant. People have to know their worth and go for what they deserve. If you are feeling more hurt than love then you already know what to do, let it go.

Simple Advice

Relationships, marriages, and Friendships are some of God’s Greatest invention
So take the time to enjoy them
Pick people who don’t have egos
Because it’s something that
They will never let go of
You are
Too priceless to care about the opinions
Of people that doesn’t
Add to your worth but subtracts
Forget that
Love is too beautiful
For a person to live
Their whole life
And never experience how it feels
Time is too short
To spend it on
A person that it wasn’t meant for
Hurt is too painful
To receive from someone
Who doesn’t care for you
Tears are too precious
To fall behind someone
Who’s not worth it
Tears should be of joy
No one should be
With a person
Whom they love
More than they love themselves
Because it will always show
Through their treatment
There just isn’t any respect
If a relationship or marriage
Isn’t Christ based
Why even entertain it
It will eventually
Turn out to be a waste
True love is never a mistake
The right one doesn’t
Make you feel as if you
Should be search for more
Because it feels like
Something is missing
The perfect one knows you
As well as you know yourself
They may not have the exact
Same interest as you
Still their awareness of them
Is important too
Know your worth
And don’t allow a person
To talk you down
You are not a piece
Of real estate
Never compromise
If your standards are too
High for a person tell
The person bye
The right one person
Will do what it takes
To have you
They recognize your value
If a person wants something
Or someone bad enough
They will do what
It takes to get it
Things will be if it’s meant
So never fall for a
Guilt trip
Save that feeling
For a cheat day of a diet
There is so much
Beauty in this world that was
Created by God Almighty
Not to share it with somebody
When you do find that
Special person
Give more
So that you two
Can build more
And search for ways
To keep your love strong

God’s Children

In 1994, I was working at a convenience store, one of my coworkers and I would bring in different cassettes to help the shift pass by. She brought in Shania Twain for me to listen to and I brought in Korn. We listened to Shania Twain’s song called “Any Man of Mine”. I told my coworker how much I enjoyed Shania’s song; it had a different sound. To me it was like the turning point of country music. I put on my Korn cassette and the song called “Blind” began to play. My co-worker was like “Tameeka that music is too hard for me”.

I have been a huge fan of Korn every since the band first came out. My mustang was covered in bumper stickers and Korn was one of them.

As I have shared I was raised in a Christian household but I have not always followed closely with Christ and as a result have made mistakes. When it comes to being a Christian we should be quick to love and slow to judge because everyone have blemishes that are on our life’s record.

I remember when Brian “Head” Welch left Korn to focus on having a relationship with Christ. It was a very life changing experience for him. God will take us away from people and things as a way to get our attention it’s the only way that we will listen. Brian endured a lot but through it all God had his back several events showed him that.

One day God told him to rejoin the band Korn. God told Brian to look out at the audience and that all those people are His children too. The hardest part of Brian’s walk probably was and still is other Christians being judgemental. Of all the people in the world Christians should be the most understanding.

Now don’t get me wrong I understand that God says to judge righteously but being judgemental is different. When we as Christians set up boundaries about who real Christians are or what they are called to do it set up barriers. Boundaries becomes unnecessary making barriers blocking us from giving good service. Good service is allowing God to use us so that we can do God’s work. If we as Christians become selective of who we reach it causes people who wants to have a relationship with Christ to become discouraged. Discouragement is never helpful to anyone. I know that I never want to be responsible for sending a person to hell, that’s a burden that I do not want to bear.

The Bible is filled with people who went through trials and tribulations, this is why we should pray for discernment so that we won’t get in the way of what God is doing. God can use anyone because we are God’s children. There is hope for everyone because God can save anyone.

The Bible tells us to be careful how we treat people that we may be entertaining an angel. God is not one of confusion He would not give anyone permission to mistreat someone based on their views.

John 7:24 Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.

For the Record

One of the things that I admire about Jack White is his love for vinyl records but I do not like to repeat myself like a scratched LP. Several times I have shared my feelings pertaining to politics. I do not like to get into politics, especially with people who cannot respect a person’s right to support what one chooses. The only time I get worked up about politics is when I feel that my religious freedoms are at stake.

I grew up in a Christian household. We went to church every Sunday and sometimes Bible study would be held in our home. My mother would vote in every election and she voted democratic across the board. When my sisters and I turned 18 we had to register to vote. For the record my mother worked hard up until she wasn’t able to because she was dying from cancer. Let me share the kind of mother that she was the last Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner she cooked before she died was done while she was in a wheelchair. My mother did not live off the government but she felt that democrats cared about poor people. She instilled her beliefs into my sisters and I. I changed my mind about republicans once I met a politician name Thelma Drake. One of the first posts that I wrote on my blog was about Thelma Drake and how she changed my mind about republicans and democrats.

There can be so much confusion that comes out of politics. I mean shoot someone might judge me because I love Jack White. Jack White has voiced his opinion more than once about Trump. Someone might judge a person who calls themselves a Christian and is conservative, yet supports gay rights. The biggest opinion right now is people who voted for Trump are all racists. Which isn’t the truth. See what I mean? I just don’t like to get into politics too much for so many reasons. It’s simply not always black and white when it comes to politics, yet many people act like it is.

I have witnessed great people have a falling out behind politics. In my opinion when we scratch beneath the surface of politics it all boils down to the ideology lines between democrats and republicans. It’s just my opinion on things. If it’s okay to have an opinion. Another thing Trump is the president, we have to accept and respect it. Just because people doesn’t like the fact that Trump is president will not change it. People once had to accept that Obama was president too.

What makes our country great is our right to choose. It’s crazy that in a country where we have the right to vote for who we want in the office drag out fights occur behind it. It doesn’t make any kind of sense to me. Why do things have to get so ugly? So whether you are a donkey or elephant, so what. Can we all agree to disagree? Vote for and support for whomever is it that makes you happy, just don’t be ugly about it. For every reason why a person feels it’s right to be democratic, someone can come up with reasons why republicans are right.
1fdoog

The After Effects of Father’s Day

I truly believe that our mindset single-handedly can be responsible for generational curses but it doesn’t have to be that way. We have to love our children enough to not pass on the pain of our past to them. The pain of our childhood doesn’t have to haunt us for the rest of our lives. Our strength should be our crutch and not our pain. We can overcome and endure the pain of our childhood.

Events like father’s day can bring a painful childhood to the surface. Believe me, I once knew the pain. I grew up in a broken home for a short amount of time. My father was very abusive to my mother and so she left him.

When father’s day would roll around years ago it stirred up the anger that was within me. I was very angry with my father not because he wasn’t in the household. He and my mother could not get along because he was extremely violent. My parent just couldn’t live together and that part I understood. I wasn’t angry because he wasn’t under the same roof. The angry stemmed from him not having contact with my sisters and I at all. It was incredibly selfish of him. He and I never got along because I always reminded him about how abusive that he was. To be honest I felt like he hated me and it felt like we had no connection at all. I mostly felt bad for my middle sister because she never knew him at all. My mother stayed in contact with his aunt so he had no excuse at all for abandoning his fatherly duties.

Once I became a mother myself I realized the importance of having a father in a child’s life. There is no substitution for a father. Whether some people want to accept it or not God has a design for how things should be. God did not intend for a mother to raise children alone. This is part of the reason for generational curses. The importance of fathers is being downplayed. It’s not okay. Daughters look at their single mothers and feel that they can do it too. Sons becomes fathers and be like I’ll let the mother do it, she can handle it. After all my mother did it. Someone has to break the chain so that the pain will end or it will get passed on to the kids.

Until women and men realize the importance of the presence of a father things can’t get better. Some mothers will continue to cut the fathers out of the children’s lives. Some fathers will be okay with being a deadbeat willingly. Yet most men and women are angry with their fathers so let’s stop downplaying their role. A father teaches a daughter how she should be loved. A father teaches a son how to be a man. Fathers are daughters and sons heroes. Everything starts at home how can children function productively in society when they came from a broken place?

It’s not fair for our children to inherit our pain. We should have children with men who understand the importance of setting consistent examples for their children. Being a great father takes more than the reason of their father being absent it’s about having the courage to break the cycle.

I am a single mother and I have been for years but I am not a father. Just a friendly reminder single parents day is in March, mother’s day is in May, and father’s day is in June. It’s unfair to take way father’s day from the fathers who are going above and beyond. There are fathers who have been in their children’s lives from birth up into adulthood. Yes, they do exist. There can be more great father too all we have to do is let go of childhood hurt and change our mindset.

This is so true:
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