Love Yourself

Just wanted to make it clear that self-love and being a lover of self isn’t the same. Self-love is positive it’s feeling good about yourself basically self acceptance. Lover of self is negative it’s having a self-centered attitude, being vain, and narcissistic.

All human eyes have the structure of the pupil, cornea, and iris etc. However, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We are all attractive to some people and we are all not so attractive to others. Don’t ever take it personal and definitely don’t allow anyone to come for your self-esteem. It is what it is. In my opinion it’s just a way that helps to eliminate the wrong people from out of our lives. Which is one of the biggest reasons why we shouldn’t put the power of boosting our self-esteem into the hands of others it could definitely become abused easily. Besides our worth isn’t based off the validation of others.

It’s important to be our best selves above anything else. For most of us there is only one of us unless we have a twin which is rare. We should take care of ourselves by eating right and exercising. Making sure that we are getting the proper sleep. Learning to not stress behind things that cannot be controlled one way or another things always work out. Words are powerful it’s so important to speak positivity into your life. Be a positive person so that you become someone who is quick to uplift others. Make improvements daily. Travel. Do something that you haven’t done before. If you have been attracting the wrong people or making the wrong choices figure out why by digging deep into yourself. Make it a point to break the monotony of reliving the same situations over and over again. Make decisions that will have the repercussions of reaping a blessed harvest. Never forget that many of our choices affect our future and sometimes our children’s future as well.

Remember people who attempt to tug at your self-esteem and self confidence are not to be entertained. It’s great to be opened to constructive criticism just beware of serial critics. A person who truly cares will bring out the best in you not the worse. Best friends aren’t jealous. True sisterhood doesn’t dox or drain one another’s souls. We will know people by their fruits. Actions speaks louder than words.

I have experienced a lot in my life and the advice that I give comes from a place of growth not from bitterness. I have healed and I want to help others to get healed as well. Being a realtist doesn’t necessarily makes a person negative it’s not what’s said but how and why. Honesty isn’t always going to come in a present that is wrapped in a pretty bow especially when it comes to looking at ourselves. Even though we can sometimes be our worst critics it’s a sign of growth to be able to evaluate ourselves. We know ourselves the best and obviously we have our best interest in mind after all it’s our lives. In order to become our best selves we most realize when we are not. Being honest with ourselves is the best sign of loving ourselves without having to rely on others opinions.

Example of loving yourself is being mindful of who we accept advice from and being opened to receive it. Example there are some people who believe that only happily married people are the only ones who can give great advice about marriage and that is the furthest thing from the truth. A person from a failed marriage can talk about where things went wrong. Happily married people also went through things too but they chose to stick it out for various reasons. Different situations happens to different people all advice can’t be applied. Everyone isn’t right and everyone isn’t wrong. I have learned that great advice can come from anyone don’t reject it based on who it’s coming from when you can tell that they mean well. When people don’t mean well you’ll be able to tell because you can feel their negative vibes. Negative energy is unmistakable and life is too short for that. So make it point to keep your space a negative opinion free zone and get your shine on.

Imagine what could happen once we tap into ourselves and discover our hidden potential to be great it can only happen once we accept and love ourselves.
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Virtually Invisible

Figuratively and Metaphorically
I have abdominal pains
Head injuries
Due to me falling
From always attempting to take
The high road
It’s so sad how
I get hurt from
Trying to be
The bigger person
This happens constantly
Because I have been
Avoiding the realization that
Some situations are just
Too low to ignore
You put the beat
Into being a deadbeat
No wonder why
Drumline was once
Your favorite movie
I get called
The B word
Because I call you out
On your crap
Well you are
The N word
Which is Narcisst
You say that you
Miss and love
Your kids
Remember this
Actions speaks louder
Than words
You miss special moments
Because you are so busy
Entertaining your
Selfish fantasies and desires
Trying to be everything
To everyone
Except for those
Who should be
The most important
Which are
Your very own children
Your very own flesh and blood
Currently they are not
Your priority
And they probably
Never will be sadly
You have a
Childish mentality
Always bragging
About being the baby
Of the family
You tell lies in order
To keep your comfortability
Which has broken
Our sons spiritually
I’ll call you It
You are a clown
Not because you bring joy
Or that you are funny
It’s because of the
Deceptive makeup that you wear
And tricks
That you are offering
You are just a big joke
That no one is laughing at
One day will be someday soon
When you will live to regret
The missed holidays and birthdays
That were traded for
Less than a minute
Duration calls
Trump wants to build a wall
He should
Build one around
The men who display
Precursors of being
Deadbeat fathers
And the problem would
Be solved
I am tired
Of irresponsible men
Spreading their seed around
Without having any
Kind of conscience
And have the audacity
To blame the mothers of the children
Calling us jealous and bitter
As if
You are an innocent bystander
That was hit by fatherhood
You fools don’t know that
One plus one
Equals three
Without the use of
A condom
Isn’t being protected
Worth paying three dollars for
Nevermind
Judging by your track record
Of muiltiple baby mothers
Your irresponsible actions
Speaks volumes loudly
Why must the children
Endure your painful lessons
Because of you constantly
Making messes
That will become society’s issues
One way or another
Raising a child
Requires the presence
Of both mother and father
Coparenting
Doing whatever is necessary
You can’t possibly
Possess a mirror
How can you look
At yourself each and every day
Knowing that you are not
Taking care of your responsibilities
Nothing matters
Because you deadbeat
Are content
With being a virtually invisible
Father

The Story of My Life

Growing up my walls were plastered with posters of Skid Row, Kiss, Cinderella etc. My mother bought me t-shirts with Guns N Roses and Pantera on them. I’ve never went a long with what was considered to be the collective of the black community. I listen to all music but metal/ rock music is my favorite besides the lyrics in the rap music of today are disrespectful. I’m not interested in music that constantly degrades women it just isn’t cool. There are some women who listens to this kind of music with the excuse of well they aren’t talking about me. Which is so completely lame. Some of these rappers only concern is to make money not even wanting a gold or platinum record like how it was years ago. Rappers years ago wanted to make positive changes in the community. Things are so different from years ago that it almost breaks my heart.

The thing about the internet and social media people are able to connect and tell their truths. I can totally relate about being told that I’m not black enough because of my choices in music, social views etc. What’s being black enough anyway? Isn’t my skin color enough? I never understood the phrases “acting white” or “not being black enough”. Still I’ve heard this most of my life. It only kept me isolated when I was young. I can definitely relate to this video it’s the story of my life.

Not a Bobblehead

Society has become so sensitive from when I grew up that Christmas songs are no longer fun anymore. Social media has made it easier for people to beef about stupid things. The stupidity leak is real and I can’t deal. If there is one thing that culture class has taught me is that we all can learn something from someone else. There are some people who think that they know everything and don’t need to learn anything else. In life we must understand that people will not always agree with us or think like us. The only people who we can control are ourselves no one else. We have to learn how to agree to disagree. Heck. Our enemies can have things to offer at times because they may tell us something that a friend or family member may be too afraid to say.

I definitely don’t want to align myself with a bunch of yes men/women. I want to be told when I’m wrong. Shoot! Help me don’t hurt me by holding back information that I need to hear. I’m not a person that’s hard to talk to. If I ask a person for their opinion I’m open for the response. I don’t want to control a person’s opinion. I’ll only hurt myself in the long run.

I’m not an airhead. I’m not a bobblehead. I think the way that I choose. I use to feel not so brave about sharing the way that I thought but now I embrace my thought process. I’m secure about who I am which is why I don’t take it personal if a person doesn’t agree with me. There are Republicans and Democrats who see politics differently. There is the prosecution and the defense which look at the same case in different ways. Not being able to look at situations from a different perspective can make a person closed-minded.

Age Ain’t Nothin But A Number?

You are only as old as you feel, riiiiight. The other day I received a reality check. A young person spoke about old heads. So I was like who is an old head? The next thing I know I’m on google researching the phrase old head and what age is a person considered to be an old head. Darn these urban phrases I just posted about this the other day! Anyway, immediately I checked the meaning of an old head. The urban dictionary describes old head as someone who has been in the scene before you or your group. There was a second definition of old head that stated someone who is still in the scene beyond the “acceptable” or expected age. Now let’s think about what kinds of scenes are not acceptable for an old head to be at like a club perhaps? I’m not really sure.
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Am I that parent who just doesn’t understand now? Hmmmm. The other day I realized the age of the songs that I loved growing up lets just say that time has really flew by. I am definitely not giving up music even if I am what a young person would consider to be an “old head”. I’ll try not to overthink about my age in my head.

LMBO. One day the young people will come to know what an old head is because they will become one. I am no hurry for them to find out though because I’ll be a senior citizen God willing. I remember when a good friend of mine and I were talking about age. The person said” That everyone will always be younger than a group people, that everyone will always be older than a group of people, and that everyone will always be the same age as a group of people. Yeap, that’s about the best way to some it up.

Moment of Silence

Let me start off by saying that I have Not watched an award show since the 90s as far as I am concerned today’s music isn’t good music at all. In my day artist cared about making a great album and not just making a hit song. Man, where did music go wrong? The artist from the 80s and 90s helps the music of today to be halfway worth listening to. The music today samples a lot of the old music of yesterday. With that being said I am Not pleased about the tribute that was given to Chris Cornell a moment of silence!? Like you folks have to be kidding me!! Chris Cornell deserved way more than a moment of silence.

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Yeah, I know it sounds like I’m in my feelings well that’s because I am. I am beyond disappointed. I’m glad that I don’t watch award shows especially the Billboards awards they’re absolute garbage anyway. Chris Cornell passed way on a Wednesday and you are telling me that they couldn’t come up with a better tribute than what he got?! Stick a fork in me because I’m done. Nothing against Cher, Celine Dion or Drake if you like watching your grandma parading around in sheer garments at 71, a walking white rose that has been plucked from dress and synthesized voices. Enlighten me were those the original outfits Cher wore when I was a teenager I have got to know?! Ummmm Cher you cannot turn back time you’re a grandma’s age no disrespect. What was Celine Dion wearing last night?! Drake won an award nothing against synthesized voices however Robert Troutman did it better just ask 2Pac California Love baby!!!

If I was in charge of giving a tribute for Chris Cornell it would have been truly memorable. The moment of silence didn’t last because the people in the audience didn’t have enough respect to stay silent for long. What can I say that’s just the way of the world. Okay I am done ranting. On a lighter note U2, Dave Mustaine, Areosmith, Queensryche, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Metallica gave a tribute to Chris Cornell. Thank goodness for the artist from years ago they are keeping great music alive.

Am I Asking For Too Much?

The purpose of my blog is to discuss things that no one wants to talk about. What I am doing is not very popular but  I am fine with that. In my opinion everyone has some knowledge that’s useful in one way or another. Even a fool is right sometimes just like a broken clock has the right time twice a day. All it takes is for us to empty out the noise that in our minds that at times helps to cloud our perspective of things.

I consider myself to be a pretty open-minded. I will give anyone a chance still there are situations that cannot be ignored, like dead beat fathers. I always speak up for the good fathers because they are some. Let me give a description of what I feel is a good father:

He’s there for his children

He understand that money isn’t more important than his time

He’s love for his children is not limited

Regardless of what is going on with the mother of the children it doesn’t impact his relationship with his children

He understands balance and does it well

The word bashing isn’t a part of his vocabulary because he is responsible

He doesn’t hold pity parties

We all strive to be more and a parent should never cut their children short of anything especially love. None of us wants to be the reason for creating a damaged child because they grow up into messed up adults. I am really tired of dead fathers getting upset because people speak on the things that they aren’t doing. It’s time to stop making excuses for the choices that you made being a parent is a two way street.  Dead beat fathers stop contributing to the dysfunction in the black community if you didn’t have a father then be the dad that you never had.

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