Love With An Open Heart

Past relationships and experiences
Dictate how we interact
In future relationships
Causing us to armour up
To put our guards up
Which still allow
Past disappointments
To continue to take
Centerstage
We then
Come up with reasons
For our actions
Dress them up
By giving them different names
Whether they are referred to
As a protective layer
Or a wall
They are used in order to
Keep us from feeling
Vulnerable
Which in actuality
Keeps us from
Something that could
Potentially be special
Love requires the giving
Of oneself
Compromise and
Vulnerability
How Else will we be
Able to recognize
True love’s credibility
Then we can enjoy stability
Be set free
From past relationships
That were ugly
It’s important
For the heart to feel love
Feeling and loving is the only way
That the heart knows
Love is grounded
It accepts the imperfections
Of the person that
We love
Working through
Bad times while
Enjoying the good
Love is honesty
It gives people
The opportunity
To be themselves completely
Love is a journey
That should always
Be allowed to continue
It’s the only way
For the one that
Is for us
To find us
Life should not
Be about only surviving
Heartbreak
From past mistakes
Or merely existing
But thriving in happiness
And enjoying life
Now that’s living

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A Personality Like Mine

I have to say that I am pretty proud of my personality. Some of the words that I would use to describe my personality are calm, balanced, compassionate, creative, loving etc. My personality is more conscientiousness even though I feel that it can’t be narrowed down to one label. As much as I enjoy my personality I am aware of my weaknesses or negative parts of it. However, with me knowing about the negative parts of my personality that can help me to work on what I need to.

Here is a little bit about my background this will help to get a better understanding of my personality. I am the oldest of four girls. All of my life I have had an enormous amount of responsibilities to handle it never bothered me. I am thinking because of my personality my mother felt that I was capable of handling doing every task assigned. Examples of my tasks come home from school do my homework, walk to go pick up my sisters up from school, cook dinner, and wash clothes. I have a very strong personality; yet not overbearing. I do not allow myself to be a pushover. Growing up because of the way that I was raised as well as my personality I did not give in to peer pressure. For a teenager I was very mature. At one point while growing up the teen pregnancy was high. It seemed like everywhere that I turned someone that I knew was pregnant. In my family there were relatives that were having babies early as well. My first child was born when I was in my late twenties. There is definitely a lot of peer pressure for teens sex, drugs, and drinking to name a few right to this very day. Teenagers have it really hard going through puberty and then having to try to fit in.  Some people give into peer pressure especially teenagers they are not very strong-minded. I have a best friend she is like the life of the party everywhere that she goes. The mindset that she has is” you only live once” she does whatever makes her feel good. There is nothing wrong with having a mindset like my friend’s but that is not right for me to each their own.

Social class to me is like high school mentality to me it’s all about being accepted socially by a particular group. Example a poor person cannot get in a country club unless they have a rich person that belongs to the club. The poor person can get connections through their rich friend. It’s all about the secret handshake and I want no parts of that. Peers are the same way no matter the location I don’t care if a high school is in a rich neighborhood, middle class neighborhood, or lower class neighborhood there will be certain groups that only accept a certain kind of people. It sucks royally. The groups of people that are in every high school are the popular kids, the smart kids, the sporty kids, the troublesome kids aka bullies and the odd kids no matter how much time passes it’s always the same. The social class and peers have the least influence on my personality.

I was brought up in a Christian household my life is lived according to the Bible. I live for God and not for the acceptance of man. The Bible says “that we cannot serve two masters” Human beings are fair weathered one day they like you and one day they hate you. When I take a look around at society there is no structure nothing is stable based on the mindset. People do whatever they want without regards about whether it can affect someone else. It’s like they have a sense of entitlement. My Christian values influence my personality tremendously I treat people like the way I would like to be treat. I want to be a bright light in a sometimes very negative dark world. I think about the consequences of my actions prior to me making a move. The personality factors that apply to me the most are family, culture, and genetic determinants. I have explained how family and culture influences my personality. I also believe that genes are a factor as well I get a lot from my mother she and I was always very close. The relationship between my mother and I was so great because our personalities were a lot a like. My mother and I looked very much alike as well.

One personality factor aspect that doesn’t explain my personality fully is environmental determinants. The personality that I have is not affect by the environment around me. I can be in a negative environment and will remain positive as well as upbeat. My belief is if the environment affects people in a negative way then change it. I cannot think of a time when the environment made my personality change especially not in a negative way.

I want to gain a better understanding of my personality because I want to be the best me that I can possibly be. Right now I am taking forensic psychology but I would like to receive a master’s degree in counseling. My calling is to prepare couples for marriage and counseling during marriage. The counseling that I am going to do will be Christian based of course however even with that being said a certain type of personality is required. In my opinion there is a lot about my personality that helps me to be prepared for my career. A counselor has to be tolerant, supportive, empathetic, patient, and intuitive to name a few things

We Were Madly, Madly in Love’: The Untold Story of MLK’s White Girlfriend By PATRICK PARR 04/01/2018 07:05 AM

This is not my article!!! I found it to be very fascinating so I decided to share it!!! Happy Reading!!!

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It took me a long time to find Betty Moitz.

I had first learned her full name while reading Bearing the Cross, the 1986 biography about Martin Luther King Jr., written by David Garrow. In the book, Garrow briefly describes a serious relationship between King and a young white woman around the same age, named Betty. They had met at Crozer Theological Seminary, in Chester, Pennsylvania, at the time, where King was a divinity student from the age of 19 until 22, when he graduated in May 1951. In Bearing the Cross, Garrow quoted a close friend and mentor of King’s at the time, Rev. Pius J. Barbour, who said the relationship had left King as a “man with a broken heart. He never recovered.”

In a way, I never recovered from that quote. As I wrote my own book about King, I wasn’t satisfied with such a short description of such an apparently devastating relationship. Garrow was the first biographer to discover Betty’s last name, and, fortunately for me, buried it in a heavyweight endnote at the back of the book. That endnote took me on two cross-country flights, spurred dozens of calls to wrong numbers and knocks on countless doors of people I thought might have known Betty. They didn’t, but I left my business card anyway, and eventually, one of those people found someone who might know Betty, and that person sent me an address, to which I sent a letter. It worked.

From the start, Moitz and King’s relationship was anything but carefree. Almost all of King’s friends, including Barbour, tried to discourage him from staying with Betty, knowing what an interracial relationship would mean for his future. “I thought it was a dangerous situation that could get out of hand, and if it did get out of hand it would smear King,” his Crozer classmate Cyril Pyle recalled in a 1986 interview. “It would make his future hard for him.”

But Betty recalls that time, and the young King, with fondness anyway. In our yearlong correspondence and one long meeting in January 2016, Betty, who recently passed away at the age of 89, told me the story of their relationship and just how close King came to walking away from his future plans for her. “We were madly, madly in love, the way young people can fall in love,” she told me during our conversation at her home.

She started at the beginning.

From a young age, Betty Moitz had a family connection to Crozer, where ML—as King was known at the time—was pursuing his studies before returning to his native Atlanta to follow in his father’s footsteps as a preacher at Ebenezer Baptist Church. Moitz’s grandmother Elizabeth became the school’s dietitian in 1933. When she retired, Betty’s mother, Hannah Moitz, took over the position, and she kept it throughout ML’s years there. The family lived in a five-bedroom, three-bathroom home on the Crozer campus, and Betty graduated with honors from Eddystone High School, located only two miles away. Betty spent many days in her youth walking over to the kitchen to check on her mother, lend an extra hand or just hang around and chat.

Despite the constant exposure to their world, Betty had no intention of becoming a divinity student. She graduated from high school in 1946 and went directly to Moore College of Art, right across the river from the University of Pennsylvania. She was still a student at Moore in late 1948 when she paid one of her regular visits to her mother in the basement of Old Main, the main building on Crozer’s campus. This day was different, because Betty met someone new: a well-dressed, ambitious young man from Atlanta, Georgia, who was in his first year at the seminary and lived on the second floor of Old Main. He had a smooth voice and a sly smile.

At first, she and ML were just making small talk in Miss Hannah’s kitchen, nothing that would cause nearby students to turn their heads. But it continued. As they spoke on and off over the next few months, Betty learned about ML’s background and his tremendous hopes for the future. “Crozer was known as a very radical religious institution,” she told me, “so I was surprised to hear from ML himself [that he] had more conservative beliefs.”

ML’s own feelings for Betty were something he tried to keep secret. Though he’d even written to his mother about his other recent dating prospects, he would not have been at all eager to inform her that he was interested in a young white woman. Walter McCall, ML’s best friend and hall mate, who went by Mac, knew, of course, but he saw no harm in helping his best friend separate himself even further from racial norms they both believed were outdated. And though a few other students took note of ML and Betty’s friendly dialogue—it was, after all, a small world inside Old Main—no one seemed too bothered.

Fellow Crozer seminarian and King friend Marcus Wood in particular understood some of what spurred ML’s attraction. “I supposed he thought that, here I am out of the South now, and not back home,” Wood said in a 1986 interview, “out in the open, nothing illegal, a free place, sure I can go over and talk to this white girl.”

Throughout the course of ML’s first year at Crozer, his relationship with Betty continued to develop as their chats moved out of Miss Hannah’s basement kitchen. Soon, ML was also making the straight five-minute walk from Old Main to visit her at the Moitz home. “He used to go over their house quite often to see her,” Wood wrote in his 1998 memoir.

ML felt at ease with Betty. It was the enthusiasm with which he spoke on a wide range of topics that first attracted her. “He would talk, and talk and talk,” Betty says. At first they discussed his time in the South and how different it was from the idealized culture within the seminary. He didn’t yet know how but, according to Betty, “one thing ML knew at age 19 was that he could change the world.”

When ML returned to school the following fall of 1949, his and Betty’s relationship continued to blossom—but this was also when the difficulties began for the young couple.

By this point, they had become more comfortable on campus, sitting on benches and talking about their plans and goals for the future in full view of ML’s classmates and teachers. When asked if she had concerns about how they might be seen, Betty shrugs. “I never noticed. I always had a tan and dark brown hair.” But the 20-year-old ML was more aware of the potential social fallout.

It’s important to note that in 1949, interracial relationships were still very much taboo in the United States. Fewer than 40 miles from Crozer was the state of Maryland, where the first law against interracial marriage was enacted in 1664; the state would keep similar laws on its books for more than 300 years. Even in 1958, a Gallup poll would report that an astounding 94 percent of white Americans disapproved of interracial marriage.

Pennsylvania was one of the most flexible states when it came to “miscegenation” laws. Still, that didn’t mean ML and Betty could head over to a local café and hold hands out in the open. Members of the Crozer community, despite their liberalism, would have had trouble throwing their support behind such an arrangement. They weren’t against it, but they weren’t exactly for it, either. Glares, scoffs and head shakes were inevitable. Cyril Pyle, ML’s classmate from Panama who worried about the relationship “smearing” King, worked in the kitchen and dining hall and witnessed ML and Betty getting closer. “I knew about it, thought it was bad, but I didn’t want to get involved.”

Soon, their “dates” mainly consisted of Betty driving ML around the city of Chester, ignoring the scowls of society. “I listened,” Betty says, “and he’d just talk and talk.” But she loved it—his enthusiasm, his anxious hopes “to return South and help people. He was wonderful—a joy to be with and listen to.”

When ML’s sister Christine came to visit him at Crozer, as she did regularly, his friendship with Betty crept back into the shadows. It wasn’t that ML didn’t trust Christine—their relationship had always been strong—it was the fact that Christine was a direct conduit to their mother, and that was something ML could not risk. Telling his sister about Betty would have meant putting her in the unenviable position of withholding important information from her mother in every letter and phone call home. And if Christine were to let slip that ML had been getting closer to a white woman, ML could only imagine the disappointment in his mother’s eyes. Betty knew about these concerns: “He was worried what she’d think,” she recalls.

Over the course of ML’s second year, his relationship with Betty grew closer—and more public. From chats in Miss Hannah’s kitchen and around campus, the couple had progressed to hanging out with Mac, ML’s friend Horace Whitaker, known as Whit, and others in the recreation room down the hall from the kitchen. Betty would watch as ML and his friends played pool. “The men who worked in the kitchen and dining room used to go down to shoot pool or play table tennis every evening after dinner,” she remembers. “I was surprised how well [ML] played.”

And their private time together was no longer limited to Betty driving ML around Chester. “We did go out on dates,” Betty says. “He was always trying to get me to go with him to restaurants in Chester. I was embarrassed to let him know I had never been to any of those places. In those days, who went to restaurants?”

ML would have known that dining at a predominantly white restaurant was a risky proposition, not only for himself but for Betty as well, but their relationship was a way for him to test the limits of northern culture. Such boundary-pushing becomes easier when one starts to fall in love, and according to Betty, that’s exactly what was happening.

Many of ML’s classmates could see how enamored he’d become. “King was extremely fond of her,” Marcus Wood recalls. “But he was also rather proud of the fact that he was able to socialize openly with a white girl.”

“There were people who knew about them,” Whit said—himself among them—but “they didn’t flagrantly show their feelings toward each other.”

ML could only trust one friend with his feelings toward Betty, and that was Mac. Around this time, ML and Betty went into Philadelphia with Mac and his girlfriend at the time, policewoman Pearl E. Smith. The four headed back to Pearl’s home, and there was a moment when Betty and Pearl were speaking to each other in the kitchen. “They didn’t tell her anything about me,” Betty says.

Pearl, who was black, measured Betty up. It was true, Betty was tan, and Pearl gave her a nod of approval: “You know, you could pass.” Mac overheard what Pearl said and, according to Betty, “rolled on the floor, laughing.“

ML’s friends sensed how serious he was getting about Betty Moitz, and all of them, except for Mac, worried about how this would affect his future plans. According to Marcus Wood, “The more we warned [ML] that marriage was out of the question—especially if he hoped to become a pastor in the south—the more he refused to ‘break off’ the potentially controversial relationship.”

ML’s counterargument had two components. The first, of course, was the obvious one: He loved Betty. She listened to him, supported him and greatly admired his ambitions. He could see himself marrying her. The second was a symbolic component: Wouldn’t their union also be a powerful statement that barriers can be brought down? It could serve as living proof of his belief in the idea of social integration. Late one night, after making out with Betty on a bench near Old Main, a smitten ML headed over to Horace Whitaker’s apartment. Whit, while in the same graduating class, was a decade older than ML and was already married, with one child. ML needed guidance, and though he trusted Mac, it was time to turn to an older and more settled friend.

“They were very serious,” Whit remembered, “although he was young.” Whit felt a certain sense of dread in telling ML to deny his feelings toward Betty: “I’m not saying he wasn’t mature enough for that kind of experience, but I remember talking to him about that kind of marital situation … and we had talked about it from the standpoint that if he intended going back to the South and pastoring at a local church, that that might not be an acceptable kind of relationship in a black Baptist church, and I think he would be valuing that in light of whether or not it was a workable situation, knowing his own particular sense of call.”

Eight years later, King himself would say in a sermon that “there is more integration in the entertaining world, in sports arenas, than there is in the Christian church.” That was the reality Whit was urging his friend to consider. Would ML’s predominantly black congregation fully accept it if their preacher had a white wife? Was Betty prepared to handle life as the spouse of a black southern minister? Or was ML willing to give up on returning to the South? Could he be content to remain in the North and obtain a position in academia, contributing to the southern cause in some other way?

The only time King ever made a reference to Betty in public comes from a 1964 MLK biography by Lerone Bennett, titled What Matter of Man. In it, Bennett masks the quote with a tricky set of pronouns, so the source of it is unclear. King, then a married father, is quoted as saying: “She liked me and I found myself liking her. But finally I had to tell her resolutely that my plans for the future did not include marriage to a white woman.”

While we already knew the decision King ultimately reached about Betty, we didn’t know how he struggled with it throughout his time at Crozer. He was clearly old enough and mature enough to know even at the time that his decision on Betty would change the course of his life. And perhaps he even had a small idea of what his life would mean for the course of history.

Who Cares?

I am digging down deep in the depths of my soul and saying this in the most nonchalant way. “Who cares?” Who cares about who a person dated in their past? If it’s not affecting you in any kind of way why is it any of your business?

I have touched on this subject before however a recent situation pushed me to blog about it once more. A black woman literally felt compelled to explain her current dating choice because of her past dating choices. Obviously, this is pertaining to interracial dating. I am over people who want to bond through pain because they can’t stand to see others happy. Who this woman was in the past and who she is today more than likely aren’t the same. Everything happens for a reason and everything serves some kind of purpose. Bad situations can teach people that they deserve better. We live. We learn. We grow. This black woman used to date both black and white men. She has since decided to date white men only. So what? There could be several reasons why she has chosen to change her dating choices things like past relationships or doing what she always wanted to do. I can totally relate. My mother didn’t welcome my preference for white men and she made me feel like I was doing something wrong. I get that she came up in a different time but it didn’t change my desires. She allowed me to listen to heavy metal but watching the videos was so hard. I loved watching video of handsome white men with gorgeous long hair. The video for Christian Woman by Type O Negative changed my life.

We all are quick to say live your life but if you don’t have the support of your family certain life events can be difficult to pursue. Especially when they are making you feel as if you are doing something wrong or they show that they are straight against it. We all need support. Which is the reason why people keep their deepest desires to themselves until they feel confident enough to act on them.

It’s so important for us to love and know ourselves enough to do what is best for us in our lives. If there is one that I have learned over the years through the bullying etc is that it’s important to love yourself. I have seen people attempting to expose someone else as a way to stop them from pursuing their happiness. The same way this black woman’s past relationships is being exposed. Just because a person is afraid to act on their desires doesn’t give them a green light to influences yours these people’s opinions should be the least to be concerned about. Especially if these people are strangers. Why are these people attempting to stop someone else’s happiness? We should never forget that messengers have motives. Some people will stop at nothing to keep others miserable. What could be so wrong about being attracted to someone from a different race? After all love has no color. We should be able to love who we want unapologetically without feeling the need to explain ourselves.

My Very First Celebrity Crush

Regina King recently shared who was her all time celebrity crush. She has been crushing on Sam Elliot since her late teens.
As most people know my current celebrity crush is Jack White however my first celebrity crush was Roland Orzabal. Roland is the lead singer of Tears for Fears. I have always been a huge fan of Tears for Fears and I will continue to be.
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Virtually Invisible

Figuratively and Metaphorically
I have abdominal pains
Head injuries
Due to me falling
From always attempting to take
The high road
It’s so sad how
I get hurt from
Trying to be
The bigger person
This happens constantly
Because I have been
Avoiding the realization that
Some situations are just
Too low to ignore
You put the beat
Into being a deadbeat
No wonder why
Drumline was once
Your favorite movie
I get called
The B word
Because I call you out
On your crap
Well you are
The N word
Which is Narcisst
You say that you
Miss and love
Your kids
Remember this
Actions speaks louder
Than words
You miss special moments
Because you are so busy
Entertaining your
Selfish fantasies and desires
Trying to be everything
To everyone
Except for those
Who should be
The most important
Which are
Your very own children
Your very own flesh and blood
Currently they are not
Your priority
And they probably
Never will be sadly
You have a
Childish mentality
Always bragging
About being the baby
Of the family
You tell lies in order
To keep your comfortability
Which has broken
Our sons spiritually
I’ll call you It
You are a clown
Not because you bring joy
Or that you are funny
It’s because of the
Deceptive makeup that you wear
And tricks
That you are offering
You are just a big joke
That no one is laughing at
One day will be someday soon
When you will live to regret
The missed holidays and birthdays
That were traded for
Less than a minute
Duration calls
Trump wants to build a wall
He should
Build one around
The men who display
Precursors of being
Deadbeat fathers
And the problem would
Be solved
I am tired
Of irresponsible men
Spreading their seed around
Without having any
Kind of conscience
And have the audacity
To blame the mothers of the children
Calling us jealous and bitter
As if
You are an innocent bystander
That was hit by fatherhood
You fools don’t know that
One plus one
Equals three
Without the use of
A condom
Isn’t being protected
Worth paying three dollars for
Nevermind
Judging by your track record
Of muiltiple baby mothers
Your irresponsible actions
Speaks volumes loudly
Why must the children
Endure your painful lessons
Because of you constantly
Making messes
That will become society’s issues
One way or another
Raising a child
Requires the presence
Of both mother and father
Coparenting
Doing whatever is necessary
You can’t possibly
Possess a mirror
How can you look
At yourself each and every day
Knowing that you are not
Taking care of your responsibilities
Nothing matters
Because you deadbeat
Are content
With being a virtually invisible
Father

A Love Like Theirs

Richonne Baby!!! I have always admired Rick and Michonne’s relationship. Was Rick married to Lori? Yes. However, Rick and Lori’s marriage was rocky prior to the zombie apocalypse. Rick talk to Shane about Lori always being angry with him. As soon as Lori thought that Rick was dead she began sleeping with Rick’s best friend Shane. Lori even got pregnant by Shane. How could she cheat on her husband so quickly? I believe that Lori and Shane were always attracted to one another. She joked with Rick about not being able to get a divorce during a zombie apocalypse. Was Rick attracted to Jessie? Yes, but she was married to someone else. Michonne was the woman that he trusted and confided in the must. Michonne changed Rick’s life for the better, in fact, their relationship was the first healthy relationship that he ever had. Rick and Michonne’s relationship consists of very important things a natural friendship, mutual trust, and most importantly excellent communication. Rick’s son Carl loved Michonne he told her that she was his best friend. Like it or not Rick and Michonne were destined to be together long before they ever met. Sometimes it takes being with other people to understand what’s for you and what isn’t. Michonne knows when to give input and she knows when to trust Rick’s choices. She’s loyal to his face and stands up for him behind his back.Yes, we know that it’s just a tv show but how sad it is to think that a relationship like theirs on exist on television?
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It’s Sunday February 10th and I am counting down to 9 p.m, that’s when the Walking Dead will may its return. I will miss seeing Rick and Michonne together their love is like no other. Like a person who was once head over hills for a person but has since laid the torch down yet reminisce every so often. I am still hopeful that Rick and Michonne will reconnect one day.