For the Record

One of the things that I admire about Jack White is his love for vinyl records but I do not like to repeat myself like a scratched LP. Several times I have shared my feelings pertaining to politics. I do not like to get into politics, especially with people who cannot respect a person’s right to support what one chooses. The only time I get worked up about politics is when I feel that my religious freedoms are at stake.

I grew up in a Christian household. We went to church every Sunday and sometimes Bible study would be held in our home. My mother would vote in every election and she voted democratic across the board. When my sisters and I turned 18 we had to register to vote. For the record my mother worked hard up until she wasn’t able to because she was dying from cancer. Let me share the kind of mother that she was the last Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner she cooked before she died was done while she was in a wheelchair. My mother did not live off the government but she felt that democrats cared about poor people. She instilled her beliefs into my sisters and I. I changed my mind about republicans once I met a politician name Thelma Drake. One of the first posts that I wrote on my blog was about Thelma Drake and how she changed my mind about republicans and democrats.

There can be so much confusion that comes out of politics. I mean shoot someone might judge me because I love Jack White. Jack White has voiced his opinion more than once about Trump. Someone might judge a person who calls themselves a Christian and is conservative, yet supports gay rights. The biggest opinion right now is people who voted for Trump are all racists. Which isn’t the truth. See what I mean? I just don’t like to get into politics too much for so many reasons. It’s simply not always black and white when it comes to politics, yet many people act like it is.

I have witnessed great people have a falling out behind politics. In my opinion when we scratch beneath the surface of politics it all boils down to the ideology lines between democrats and republicans. It’s just my opinion on things. If it’s okay to have an opinion. Another thing Trump is the president, we have to accept and respect it. Just because people doesn’t like the fact that Trump is president will not change it. People once had to accept that Obama was president too.

What makes our country great is our right to choose. It’s crazy that in a country where we have the right to vote for who we want in the office drag out fights occur behind it. It doesn’t make any kind of sense to me. Why do things have to get so ugly? So whether you are a donkey or elephant, so what. Can we all agree to disagree? Vote for and support for whomever is it that makes you happy, just don’t be ugly about it. For every reason why a person feels it’s right to be democratic, someone can come up with reasons why republicans are right.
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The After Effects of Father’s Day

I truly believe that our mindset single-handedly can be responsible for generational curses but it doesn’t have to be that way. We have to love our children enough to not pass on the pain of our past to them. The pain of our childhood doesn’t have to haunt us for the rest of our lives. Our strength should be our crutch and not our pain. We can overcome and endure the pain of our childhood.

Events like father’s day can bring a painful childhood to the surface. Believe me, I once knew the pain. I grew up in a broken home for a short amount of time. My father was very abusive to my mother and so she left him.

When father’s day would roll around years ago it stirred up the anger that was within me. I was very angry with my father not because he wasn’t in the household. He and my mother could not get along because he was extremely violent. My parent just couldn’t live together and that part I understood. I wasn’t angry because he wasn’t under the same roof. The angry stemmed from him not having contact with my sisters and I at all. It was incredibly selfish of him. He and I never got along because I always reminded him about how abusive that he was. To be honest I felt like he hated me and it felt like we had no connection at all. I mostly felt bad for my middle sister because she never knew him at all. My mother stayed in contact with his aunt so he had no excuse at all for abandoning his fatherly duties.

Once I became a mother myself I realized the importance of having a father in a child’s life. There is no substitution for a father. Whether some people want to accept it or not God has a design for how things should be. God did not intend for a mother to raise children alone. This is part of the reason for generational curses. The importance of fathers is being downplayed. It’s not okay. Daughters look at their single mothers and feel that they can do it too. Sons becomes fathers and be like I’ll let the mother do it, she can handle it. After all my mother did it. Someone has to break the chain so that the pain will end or it will get passed on to the kids.

Until women and men realize the importance of the presence of a father things can’t get better. Some mothers will continue to cut the fathers out of the children’s lives. Some fathers will be okay with being a deadbeat willingly. Yet most men and women are angry with their fathers so let’s stop downplaying their role. A father teaches a daughter how she should be loved. A father teaches a son how to be a man. Fathers are daughters and sons heroes. Everything starts at home how can children function productively in society when they came from a broken place?

It’s not fair for our children to inherit our pain. We should have children with men who understand the importance of setting consistent examples for their children. Being a great father takes more than the reason of their father being absent it’s about having the courage to break the cycle.

I am a single mother and I have been for years but I am not a father. Just a friendly reminder single parents day is in March, mother’s day is in May, and father’s day is in June. It’s unfair to take way father’s day from the fathers who are going above and beyond. There are fathers who have been in their children’s lives from birth up into adulthood. Yes, they do exist. There can be more great father too all we have to do is let go of childhood hurt and change our mindset.

This is so true:
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The Haunted Mansion

I find the men who have trouble with commitment quite comical. No one and I do mean no one is going to stop me from being happy for people who are getting married or have gotten married especially for Her Royal Highness, The Duchess of Sussex and Duke of Sussex, Earl of Dumbarton and Baron Kilkeel. I was so stoked for Prince Harry and Meghan’s wedding yesterday, ooh and that gospel choir though!!!

These kinds of men will tug (attempt to anyway) at a woman’s self-esteem until they are able to bring them down to their level/standards. Newsflash if a man is one of substance he would not try to bring a woman down. Mind you if they are able to bring a woman down it is not for a commitment it’s only to use and abuse her while bashing the woman after she has given in and done what he wanted. A woman isn’t good enough for commitment but she’s good enough to have sex with.

Women must be careful of these kinds of men real men don’t do these kinds of things. These kinds of men possess soul ties so many souls that are tied to them that they no longer possess a temple but more like a haunted mansion. They have trouble with commitment however unbeknownst to them soul ties are for life and they need to get their lives right. We all need to pray for discernment so that we don’t connect with the wrong people.

As long as we are living we all deserve to smile so there is no time to entertain people whose main objective is to prey on you. We are better than that.

On This Day

First off, Happy Valentine’s Day to all! I pray and hope that everyone is enjoying their day, their way.

Facebook has something called “On this day” where people are able to look back and reflect on what they posted the prior years. On this Valentine’s day be happy for others and if you are attached be thankful for the loved one that you have.

I have seen some people who say that they are ready for this day to be over, I guess it’s a reminder that they are single. I think that some single people have to learn how to be happy for others. What’s the difference in seeing a person get a job promotion and a person who are in a happily committed relationship? A blessing is a blessing. It’s important that we are careful about how we express ourselves about certain things because it’s a reflection of who we are deep down inside.

Every day reflect on what occurred in your past relationships if you are single because you won’t be single forever. You want to make amends with the pain that may still be affecting you. Why else would you hate this day?

A person should never feel bad about being single. It’s best to be with the right one than the wrong one. It’s best to heal from past hurt than to get involved with someone and hurt them in some way. Hurt people, hurt others. Heal people, heal others. When we are healed we can then go on and have a healthy loving relationship.

So on this Valintine’s day look at it in a positive way because if you can do that it’s a sign that you have healed from whatever it is that hurt you.

The Blame Game

I see and hear a lot of black men tell black women to choose better and it’s comical. What if choosing better means being with a man who may not be the same race as me? Everyone who reads my blog knows that I talk about responsibility and accountability. I have held myself accountable for the things that have occurred in my life. I take a daily evaluation of who I am because I know that I am not above of offending anyone. However, I will not be shamed by men who most times aren’t married, have children all over the place, and down other black women who think differently from them. No, I don’t know every black man, just like how all black men don’t know all black women but they still judge us anyway. The very people who feel that my advice isn’t good enough track record isn’t so squeaky clean either.

I’m get so tired of a lot of black men telling black women to choose better when at least 72% of black children are born out of wedlock, that’s 8% away from being above average at failing to build a solid family structure. It’s harder to walk away when people are married and it shows that a man is planning to stick around. A lot of these black men spread their seed everywhere and are nowhere to be found in their children’s lives. Be a father who is in their children’s lives beyond baby and toddler stages but middle school, puberty stage, awkward stage, high school, college, and beyond. Don’t let this be you!!! Casper the friendly ghost!!!
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Single parents like myself understand the consequences of our decisions, we see it every day. We don’t need people like you reminding us about our story when you don’t have a clue about the details of our story. Don’t judge just by what you see alone even silent movies/films have subtitles. I refuse to have men who don’t pay my bills tell me about my life the only person’s opinion that I care about is the Lord Jesus Christ, He’s the one who brought my two children and I through every hardship.

Both black men and black women need to get it right, please stop trying to make it seem like it’s all our fault. Because guess what? It’s not, the numbers don’t lie. I’m so tired and no I am not bitter, I am smarter I have learned from my mistakes. Regardless of what some of you men think learning from mistakes means not choosing from the same group of men again. The probability of getting a good quality black man is a numbers thing, not a color thing, not a hurt thing, and not a bitter thing; it’s a reality thing. Check the statistics. If 72% of black children are born out of wedlock there is only 28% who are doing right so some of you black men who tell us to choose better are part of the problem too. It’s hard to choose better when there isn’t much to choose from. A lot more black men are marrying out and black couples have a low marriage rate and high divorce rate. Let that sink in really deep before you judge and give mediocre advice. It’s time for an epiphany my brothers, I had mine a long time ago. MY EYES ARE WIDE OPEN!!!

Remember the Time

Oprah Winfrey made some amazing points when she accepted her Golden Globe Award. One of the things that she said was everyone has a story and for us to share it. With that being said I going to share MY STORY because it’s mine ALONE!!! No one knows MY LIFE STORY better than me except God almighty. Anyone who attempts to lessen my story has a motive and it’s an evil one. I am me and I am Not caring about who accepts me or not. I know what my hobbies are. I know what kinds of music that I love and how long that I have been listening to it. And most importantly I know who I am attracted and how long it’s been.

I have been listening to heavy metal when it was unheard of. My mother brought me shirts with heavy metal bands on them. In the 80s people used to write on their jeans mine had the name of metal bands on them. I had my walled plastered with all kinds of musicians including heavy metal bands.

It’s comical how some people think they know your history but really they don’t. Interracial dating is becoming more common between white men and black women. I have always been attracted to white men my first serious boyfriend was white. My first boyfriend brought me a car and we put stickers of heavy metal bands all over it. One time while my boyfriend at the time was out to sea my sister asked for a ride and a cop pulled me over for gp. Here I am a black woman with braids driving a car with heavy metal stickers on it in the early 90s. My sister can back me up on this story as well as a few others.

Interracial dating between white men and black women is really nothing new; it’s just becoming more common now. Some people act like it’s a big discovery like Columbus claiming America when Leif Erikson had already been there and done that. Facts!!!!! There are more books, movies, television shows, and groups that promotes interracial dating but they wasn’t around when I was dating outside of my race.

Now there are people who be like why are people being so vocal about interracial dating between white men and black women? Well because it’s still not really accepted and in order for couples to make it support is needed. It’s not easy to date interracial; it’s hard now and it was even harder when I first started dating outside of my race. I remember one time when my white boyfriend at the time and I was holding hands walking through the mall together when a large group of black males attempted to walk between us to get us to stop holding hands. I told him to ignore them because they would have tired to just him and me. I wouldn’t stood there and allow anyone to hurt him.

I am so excited that more and more people are following their hearts and being who they are. I rather for people to think I am strange than to Not be free because I am afraid of what people think of me. I am going to listen to the music that I enjoy and love who I want to love whether they have my skin color or not.