Happy Birthday! Be Lifted!

Yippee! Be Lifted turned two years old!

When I started my blog I wanted to be true to myself as well as inspire others. In two years I have done so many things wrote poems, talked about marriage, music and most importantly God.

Earlier I had one of my facebook friends message me and tell me to not allow anyone to place me in a box. Which is why I started a blog in the first place on social media it’s hard to express yourself without any drama happening. I have total freedom here on my blog and I love it.

I am excited about the future of my blog because there is more to come. Looking forward to many more years here on Be Lifted.

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African Americans and Mental Illness

Between the internet and google there are a lot of social media psychiatrists and psychologists, applying mental disorders to people like sticky notes or bumper stickers. News flash!!! Psychiatrists go to college for years and still understand the importance of the DSM-5, which they must go by. Psychiatrists also use assessment tools, interviews, tests, and observation before diagnosing a person with a disorder. Psychiatrists understand the harm that can come from misdiagnosing and mislabeling people. It’s about matching a client’s syndrome to a disorder. Look internet doctors leave the job of diagnosing people to the professionals, after all they went to college for it.

We really have to be careful how we handle mental illnesses. People feel uncomfortable being honest about their battle with an mental illness. A lot of it has to do with the negative stereotypes associated with mental illnesses. Some people would rather suffer in silence instead of talking about their mental health.

The black community is very bad at not handling mental illness well. Years ago black people would spank children but mental illnesses can’t be beaten out of people. Some also believed in divine intervention, which is great however God also gave us common sense to go see a doctor. I believe that God uses people and guides doctors to help people as well. There are still a lot of people who needs to be educated not to be doctors but so they will know how to treat people. A person can have a disorder and still live a normal every day life without becoming unhinged.

Currently I am pursuing my Bachelor’s degree in Forensic Psychology and I am almost finished! With God’s help I plan on getting a Master’s degree in Marriage, Couple, and Family Counseling. Yaaaaaaay!!! It’s important to support people when it comes to mental illnesses because it’s their health. It’s about living well, with the right support and treatment it is possible.

Half Baked

There once was a lady who I used to associate with who said something that was so profound. She said that “she was tired of a lot of black mothers sending their sons out into the world half baked expecting girlfriends and wives to finish baking them”. I never forgot her words. She said the words out of frustration due to the problems she was having out of her boyfriend at the time. He was always lying and cheating. The man was just an irresponsible person who cared nothing about his actions or the hurt that he inflicted upon others.

The one thing that I have learned from my criminal mind’s class is that everything starts at home. Most times the foundation of a serial killer’s dysfunction is an unhealthy home life. No, I am not justifying killing, I am pointing out how powerful family is. Jeffrey Dahmer’s mother abandoned him, Charles Manson’s mother rejected him and the Son of Sam’s birth mother rejected him as well.

The sad thing about the black community is that dysfunction is the “norm” for some people. People have developed a high tolerance for toxic behavior even finding it entertaining. People can’t complain about what’s going on in the community yet enjoy watching the same situations on television or jam to degrading lyrics to a song on the radio. Sza’s song “The Weekend” is okay to bob your head to until the woman who’s sharing the man is you. Heck!!! Some women are okay with sharing a man. Not understanding that they deserve a man who will love them so much that he is faithful. Many young black women come from broken homes so they wasn’t taught about their worth.

No one wants to stay in a place that is filled with dysfunction and so people want to leave it behind which is fine and dandy. Sadly leaving the mess behind will not solve everything toxic problems have a way of effecting many eventually. A messed up community has a way of affect everyone in some way, shape or form. Like a tsunami, crimes waves doesn’t just affect one area only, it ends up effecting a lot of innocent people. Just something to think about.

All parents have to do their part to ensure that wrong parenting decisions doesn’t become problematic for others. No matter how old our children get they are still ours. They are a reflection of us. So whether we spoiled them as a way to compensate for an absentee father and doing so they developed a feeling of entitlement. Or rewarding children constantly for no reason regardless of bad behavior. Every choice has consequences that can reap good or bad harvests.

Somewhere along the way in the past people have failed their children and have to be honest about it. Some have put things like men or drugs above their children scarring their children with rejection and abandonment issues. Choosing to pick their wants over their children’s needs. It’s wrong to expect children to deal with adult issues and think that they will turn out fine.

Parents are children’s first heroes, don’t ruin it by placing zero value on parenthood. It’s priceless. Being a star to our children is a blessing. So as parents we must do what it takes to make sure our children are productive people and are not damaged. We should love them enough that we make sure that we are never the reason for them having holes in their hearts. Being human is not an excuse to make careless decisions that may harm others later. Remember that one life touches another, it’s important that we raise our children in a way that they are a blessing and not a curse in other people’s lives. Everything starts at home, let’s not send our children out into the world half baked.

Love’s Dog

We all want to feel it
Yet we all fear it
Nobody wants to be love’s dog
Love is so beautiful
Yet it can be so painful
Seems like nobody wants
To love only one person for
All of eternity anymore
Love today
And it’s gone tomorrow
How can something
That was once so amazing
Be over
Nobody wants to be love’s dog
We become acquainted with love
Then somehow gradually let it go
Feelings that were once mutual gone
Days of laughter
Become sorrow
How can two people
Who seems to have the right chemistry
Relationships’ have an unhappy ending
It’s a mystery
Past situations should have taught us
How to endure
To help us to love better
In the future
We want to front on the person
Whom we want our forever with
We refuse to think
Beyond temperamental differences and bad memories
In our quest to love
We must think differently
It’s truly essential
But things can’t take off because
Nobody wants to be love’s dog
From lovely days to
Lonely days
We close the entrances to our hearts
That have been damaged severely
From heartache, broken trust,
And major disappointments
All by the one whom we thought was appointed
To us beyond a belief moment
Nobody wants to be love’s dog
The world today
Sleeps on opportunities
Instead of ceases it
Treating it like a layaway
As if true love waits
And never goes away
We all want a happily ever after
But love’s unpredictability
Can be too much to bare
Nobody wants to be love’s dog

Spiritual Maturity

I will not and do not pretend that  I have it all together however I will say that  I am a woman who has learned from her mistakes. One of the biggest mistakes that  I have done in the past is allowing my emotions to control me. Too many times we live off of our emotions, when we live from off of our emotions we don’t make wise choices. Spiritual maturity is knowing how to manage our feelings and not allowing them to manage us. Its good to have feelings they help us to be able to relate to others we can empathize and have compassion but we can’t allow our feelings to lead us the wrong way. There can be no spiritual growth as long as we follow our feelings, we have to know what feels wrong but choose to do what is right.

The enemy mission is to kill, steal and destroy the one thing he wants the most is to kill our faith; he tries to do this during times of trouble. How we respond to the enemy attacks is to not act like him but act like Christ. I speak about marriage a whole lot it’s a covenant that was created by God; marriage is one of the best examples of commitment. Marriage is a beautiful thing especially when it has God as the foundation. So many marriages end in divorce because people go into it with unrealistic ideas of what marriage is. A word of advice if you are standing in front of the pastor exchanging vows with the thought of if this doesn’t work than….. Do Not Get Married!!! Divorce should not be an option if a marriage encounters problems. Marriages have problems sometimes  I don’t care how great it is at times. The vows have for better or worse let’s focused on both words because they are both important. When people first get married everything is new but after awhile it will wear off commitment is suppose to step in, it takes a marriage to a deeper level which is more solid.

When  I get married again  I want a husband that is committed to me once the excitement and newness wear off. I want a husband who loves Christ more than I do, is loyal, faithful, true, a leader and is tougher than the toughest times that we encounter. Commitment is strength and not giving up just because things don’t feel good anymore. A great marriage strength is in it’s commitment and not just feelings alone; it’s a sign of true victory!!  Remember a marriage will lose it’s newness like a brand new car but you will still keep the car right? True commitment is staying committed to the very end.

I’ve come along way and  I have been through a lot but I thank God for all of it. Everyday  I make the commitment to put on love, kindness and patience regardless of the situation or how I feel. People have disappointed me,betrayed me, let me down and hurt me even after  I have been nice to them. I feel sorry for people who are always angry it’s a sign that they are operating off of emotions alone and that is never good. Regardless of how people treat me  I am still going to do things on purpose like love those who have hurt me and pray for them. Hurt people hurt others healed people heal others I am healed!! I am always counting the cost of every move that  I make and I am walking in love too. Thankful so much for becoming strong spiritually off of the Word of God.

Colossians 3:14

And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.