man

Masculinity

So the other day I was watching a reaction video for Type O Negative. The young lady spoke of how she had not seen masculinity like Peter Steele ever! I was thinking to myself, “What kind of men has she seen?” Not just her, I have seen other comments too. One video by Type O Negative called “Love You to Death a person assumed that Peter had self-esteem issues because of his lyrics. In the song “Love You to Death, Pete asked, “Am I good enough for you?”

First off, Peter Steele could have had any woman that he wanted. Peter Steele was a different kind of man. When I think of the lyrics asking, “Am I good enough for you?”Perhaps he understood a woman’s worth!!! Which is something that certain men could be less about if at all?

I feel that today’s world is so sad. Masculinity to me isn’t about a man’s physique; it’s about a man standing up in his manhood without fear. A strong man makes responsible decisions and knows how to make a woman feel safe. All women want to feel safe.

Once an honest opinion is verbalized, it seems like the whole world comes to an end. As a black woman, I feel that being dishonest is doing a disservice to those who need to hear the truth. I’m not going to lie about what some black men should be doing. We have been taking on many things for far too long only to be told that we have attitudes, harsh, and not feminine. I would love to be carefree like Dorothy of the Wizard of Oz. Unfortunately, I can’t.

Young ladies of this generation needs to see more men like Peter Steele and not feel that they are extinct!!!

Spiritual Maturity

I will not and do not pretend that  I have it all together; however, I will say that I am a woman who has learned from her mistakes. One of the biggest mistakes that  I have done in the past is allowing my emotions to control me. Too many times we live off of our feelings when we live from off of our feelings, we don’t make wise choices. Spiritual maturity is knowing how to manage our emotions and not allowing them to control us. It’s good to have feelings they help us to be able to relate to others we can empathize and have compassion, but we can’t allow our feelings to lead us the wrong way. There can be no spiritual growth as long as we follow our feelings; we have to know what feels wrong but choose to do what is right.

The enemy mission is to kill, steal, and destroy the one thing he wants the most is to kill our faith; he tries to do this during times of trouble. How we respond to the enemy attacks is to not act like him but act like Christ. I speak about marriage a whole lot; it’s a covenant that was created by God; marriage is one of the best examples of commitment. Marriage is a beautiful thing, especially when it has God as the foundation. So many marriages end in divorce because people go into it with unrealistic ideas of what marriage is. A word of advice if you are standing in front of the pastor exchanging vows with the thought of if this doesn’t work then. Do Not Get Married!!! Divorce should not be an option if a marriage encounters problems. Unions have problems sometimes  I don’t care how great it is at times. The vows have for better or worse, let’s focused on both words because they are both critical. When people first get married, everything is new, but after a while, it will wear off commitment is suppose to step in, it takes a marriage to a deeper level which is more substantial.

I want a husband that is committed to me once the excitement and newness wear off. I want a husband who loves Christ more than I do, is loyal, faithful, sincere, a leader, and is more stringent than the toughest times that we encounter. Commitment is strength and not giving up just because things don’t feel right anymore. An excellent marriage strength is in its commitment and not just feelings alone; it’s a sign of real victory!! Remember a marriage will lose its newness like a brand new car but you will still keep the car, right? Total commitment is staying committed to the very end.

I’ve come along way, and  I have been through a lot, but I thank God for all of it. Every day I commit to putting on love, kindness, and patience regardless of the situation or how I feel. People have disappointed me, betrayed me, let me down, and hurt me even after  I have been helpful to them. I feel sorry for people who are always angry; it’s a sign that they are operating off of emotions alone, and that is never good. Regardless of how people treat me, I am still going to do things on purpose like loving those who have hurt me and pray for them. Hurt people hurt others healed people heal others; I am whole!! I am always counting the cost of every move that  I make, and I am walking in love too. Thankful so much for becoming strong spiritually off of the Word of God.

Colossians 3:14

And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.

Long Distance Relationships

Relationships are hard add long distance to the situation and it becomes harder. I’m a very optimistic person did Ruth not meet her Boaz? What is meant will be when God is apart of it anyway. I so believe that God has the right person for everyone. It’s just knowing when the person is right. How will you know if a person that cross your path is just destined to be just a friend?  A mean the love of your life should be your best friend. Questions, questions and more questions love though beautiful can be like a giant maze that sometimes leads to nowhere. Yesterday a person said that long distance relationships never works the person further went on to say that someone always become lonely and messes things up. Well I’m not sure that it’s loneliness but more like selfishness why get involved with a person if you can’t stand the distance? I mean if you truly love the person who is away then what can someone else close by  do that person isn’t the person that you miss or love. It just doesn’t make sense.Yeap when a person allows loneliness to take over they are being selfish. True love can withstand anything with God as the foundation people in the military do it all of the time. 

I wonder whether people are Christians or not would make a difference when it comes to long distance relationships? When I looked back on the relationships that I had which were very few none of the men were originally from where I was from whether it was a different city or state. It just goes to show that what God has meant to be will be still we have to want to put in the effort. A part of maturity is being able to look back on past relationships and realize what you need and value it once you are blessed to have it. Look when God is involved He makes things happen and as funny as it may sound sometimes it’s not always easy. Every great love has a great love story. I have never heard a boring love story there is always something that’s remarkable about it that makes them special. When I think of love long distance or close by it’s a heart thing. Someone who’s miles away can make you feel more special than a person who could be sitting right next to you. Perhaps the legendary group Whodini said it best one love one love you’re lucky just to have one love. My favorite part of the song one love goes “baby, one of these days, you’ll have to learn That love is something, that you gotta earn. And once you earn it, you gotta know how to keep it You got to want it, as well as you need it”To have lost love, was a hurtin’ lesson. But to have had love is a definite blessing. Hmmmmmm definitely valuable words right to this very day. If someone had of told me that I would be using lyrics from a song in my writing I would have been like Yeah right! Anyway you can’t tell me that everything doesn’t serve a purpose even if it’s just to inspire. Praying that everyone is blessed to have love it’s one of God’s greatest creations. Once you’re blessed to have love do what it takes to keep it. God didn’t make multiple people for one person just one value who you have.

Is She The One?

The last one who should not be confused about anything is a person who calls themselves a Christian. We must respect God’s Word all of it because it applies to us all. We don’t get to pick and choose which parts that works best for us. Christian people have to understand that we maybe the only Bible that people read.

I wrote a post the other day pertaining how a Christian man is compared to a man of the world. A Christian man is the head of the household thus must be treated as such and behave as such. Family is a very important subject in the Bible. The Bible should be the foundation of a family it has instructions which must be followed. If there is one thing that we shouldn’t be doing and that’s bring children into the world out of wedlock. We can look around at society it’s damaged much of it is due to broken homes. Do you really what to add more broken homes to society?

A man whether he is a Christian or not knows when he meets a woman what his intentions are. No Christian man should be playing house if she’s good enough to lay with then why isn’t she your wife? Why have children out of wedlock? When we know better we do better. It’s time to get real and understand that people aren’t toys either Man up or move on.

Playing Detective

The other day I convicted myself I wondered what it is about me that I instantly turn into a detective. Why I just can not accept things at face value? I guess with everything that I have been through I simply can not help it. Especially when it comes to opening myself up to love again. I don’t want to risk my heart being broken or looking like a fool.

Not trying to make myself seem so special but I always come across people who try to make it their mission to prove who I am really, I’m liked” Really Bro how would you know me better than I know myself?” One thing about me I am very kind hearted and so that makes me an easy target.  People tend to take my kindness for weakness. I know that I am God’s creation therefore I am under His protection. No matter what happens I won’t change who I am because of people.

I will admit that I have trust issues at one point in life I didn’t want to. Admitting to having trust issues sparks characteristics within a person that they never knew existed. Let me explain further I do not believe it’s okay to go through a person’s things, have passwords etc if a person needs to do all of that then perhaps it’s best to end the relationship. My trust issues are with my heart and words whether a man is being genuine or not.

The one only that I have learned noone can convince a person not to hurt you if they want to justify why it’s okay to do so. Just pray that they are exposed for what and who they are to avoid unnecessary heartbreak.

A person who won’t be alone to heal is selfish Yeah I said it. It’s not cool to use a person to help you get over pain that’s not okay. For me I am willing to be alone as long as God sees fit I WOULD NEVER inflict any pain on someone else. God doesn’t like ugly and He does make people pay for their messed up way. No I am not trying to speak negativity on people still one can not treat a person wrong expect not to be punished for their behavior.

My hopes are for us all to find love with the right one and as far as for me playing detective I never will stop doing it. Nothing is going overboard when it comes to heartbreak I rather be alone. I know that God has my Boaz even if it takes a couple more years of waiting I will. Because I know that once my Boaz arrive I will never have to play detective again. All of my Boaz words will match I won’t have an uneasy feeling about him. He will do everything not to break my heart. I won’t make him feel uncomfortable because of doubt. Let’s face it a seed of doubt has the power to grow into the biggest oak tree.

Determined to not allow doubt to rob me of my Boaz or loneliness for that matter. Being lonely is the reason for a lot of bad relationships people aren’t patient enough to wait on God. Word to the wise you can’t be with the right one if you are with the wrong one. Mr. Or Mrs. Right now will ruin who you are truly destined to be with. The right one will not interrupt what you have no one can see if you are unhappy they just know that you are unavailable. I don’t know about anyone else I know that we are worth the wait.

 

 

Knowing Our Role

I already know that this post will not go over well with people and I am fine with it. On Be Lifted the things that are thought about are talked about in a positive and encouraging way. Time may change but the Word of God never will. As I always say technology,  broken homes  and cowardly men has messed up people’s minds. Every Word that’s in the Bible are there for a reason. I have had people tell me that I should be a pastor and every time it comes up I say no. Speaking for myself I understand my role and I am fine with it. I respect God’s Word.

I once had a person talk to me about being a pastor and they referred to Christ telling Mary to tell the Disciples that He rose. Mary went to His tomb it could have been anyone at the time in my opinion. The Disciples missed Christ and were mourning Him. Christ told the Disciples to go and tell the world about Him. The Disciples were twelve men. That’s how I feel and it won’t change.

Society has things all messed up if God put the man as the head of the household it makes sense for the woman not be the head of a church. Everyone is not meant to do everything we must understand our position and play it well. Even though I am physically the head of my household because of reasons that I have no control over God has the ultimate say in my life as well as my household. I will not allow what society is doing along with what’s going on in my life to close my eyes to what is in the Bible.

What I am saying needs to be said look at America we have no boundaries almost every line has been crossed without any second thought. Everyone wants to adjust God’s Word. I know that I need work and God has worked on me He still is. We can not change for the better if we refuse to accept God’s Word. Again I am not a preacher or a teacher I am Tameeka. As the Rock says from WWE know your role and shut your mouth. The truth is only a hard pill to swallow when one is full of themselves so go on the diet of Truth. You will be healthy in no time. Let’s face the facts if our way are so much better then why is society so screwed up and why am I so tired of running my household? God’s thinking and ways are higher than ours.

Ephesians 5:22

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord.

1 Timothy 2:12

But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

 

Just Say No

Everyone pretty much knows my position on the public restroom situation. I’m say treat it like drugs with three words just say no. So tired of seeing these extreme memes of making wrong seem right. I don’t hate gay people and I don’t judge other people’s sin. At the end of the day I have to answer for my sin alone still I don’t want junk crammed down my throat. To be honest I liked it better when it was don’t ask don’t tell. Just because the law says it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s okay for it to be able to affect others. I feel the same way about breastfeeding however that’s another post. Breastfeeding should be done in a private place. I breastfed you have to relax to produce milk how can one do it in public anyway back to the subject. Public restrooms should remain the way that they have always have been just like how homosexuals and transgenders have always been around why should things change now???

Not caring about people calling me homophobic because that’s a lie. I believe everyone have rights as long as what you are doing isn’t affecting me and my children. When that happens I have a problem so tired of when we don’t go with the program we get labeled as being homophobic. Right is right and wrong is wrong regardless of how society tries to fix it. I know the Bible says to follow the law of the land but if it goes against God’s plan then I have to take a stand.

We’re Just Friends

Is it possible?  Can a man and a woman be just friends only? This applies to straight people. Yes we all realize how important friendship is it should be the foundation of a relationship. There’s more to a relationship than the basic things we have to be able to get along with our mate. What I am talking about is not a relationship just friendship can it happen without it developing into more.  Definitely  not speaking of being friends after a relationship that has ended it’s rare that a friendship works out.We’re not suppose to be in a relationship with everyone. Friendship if it’s true last a lot longer than some relationships and marriages. People who enter our lives have different assignments this must be kept in mind.

Can a woman and man enjoy the same things like football, same music, movies, TV shows and hobbies?  Most men and women who are friends only have had some sort of sexual contact at least once. Or wonder what it would be like to cross the line however the thing about crossing a line there is no turning back. Curiosity should not overpower ruining a great friendship how much do you value it. Friends true ones anyway are hard to find so when you’re blessed with them do what it takes to keep them. That means not placing a friendship in jeopardy regardless of the person’s  sex. I  don’t know about anyone else but I rather have a lasting friendship over most things any day.

Sex and Christianity

Sex and Christianity yes I am going there (you already know) every aspect should be discussed. Heck sex is covered in Genesis God says to be fruitful and multiply. Of course we all know the reasons why waiting to have sex is the best option. Nobody wants to end up being a notch in someone’s belt the way I see it if things don’t work out one can still walk away with their dignity in tact. Everyone that we come across whether it’s dating etc aren’t meant to know everything or explore everything either. Some people are only for a season their purpose is to get us ready for the one that God has for us. Don’t share too much we must be ready for the right one. We must never compromise our happiness that’s what’s done as long as it’s within reason once married. We will definitely know who they are once they come along.

Now that we have found our other half and got married what’s next? Here’s where things get interesting when it comes to intimacy you can not and should not be stingy. Don’t try and brainwash yourself into thinking that your other half is greedy. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with catering to your other half everyday. I mean why not this is the person that you decided to spend the rest of your life with. The key to intimacy is communication like with anything openness is important never make your mate feel like they can’t talk to you that includes fantasies. It’s a sad situation when a person feels like that have to walk on egg shells around their other half. Not being able to communicate makes one feel like they are suffocating or a mute that’s not cool. I have been doing research about what a couple can do and what they can’t according to the Bible. Another thing not attacking the church but sex needs to be talked about help must be done to keep married couples together. Back to what I was saying there isn’t much that can’t be done you don’t want your other half to feel uncomfortable. It’s a great thing to explore mostly never deprive your mate that’s a huge mistake. That’s one of the reasons some step out on the marriage. Even if you are mad make up quickly the Bible says not to let the sun go down upon your wrath. Why hold a grudge against  the one that you love it makes no sense let it go. Remember there’s  nothing  that can’t be worked out all you have to have is the want to. Many couples speak about after a number of years have past that the fire has went out within the marriage. This should never happen all you have to do is not stop doing what you did on your honeymoon. Don’t be afraid to press the refresh button on your marriage as well as you sex life. Give it all that you got.

You Will Forever Mean So Much Me

I just don’t understand

How can the love that once was

Be the last thing that is thought of

Some people may call me a fool

And a sucker too

But I will always love you

I love hard so I can’t

Just turn my love off

Like a light switch

Or just forget about it

As if it never existed

When I love I mean it

My love runs deep

Like a beautiful blue sea

Or like space that’s never ending

You will forever mean so much to me

I don’t wish you bad luck

Or hate you ever

My only wish is that

We had spent more time together

However some is better than none

Everything happens for a reason

Sadly we were only

Meant for a short season

It’s okay

We will understand why someday

The love that we had was strong

I still miss you everyday

Won’t erase or get rid of

Anything that reminds me of us

Poems, music, videos

Pictures, old morning hot texts and gifts

The distance made things hard

I couldn’t stand it

So I ended it

It’s hard to let go

I will admit it

The woman that I am

So devoted

True love doesn’t have an ego

I still love you so

You got me to open up like a rose

Feel the warmth of love

Like sun rays against my skin

Filled an empty void

That was in my broken heart

Every word that I say is true

I have move on

You don’t have to be with a person

To love them

Truly this I believe

Because I am experiencing the feeling

You will remain special for an eternity

From now until forever

Thoughts of you will always make me happy

You will forever mean so much to me