Ray of Hope

I don’t have to experience someone else’s love
To be happy for them
There are so many
Ways to be able to relate
Maybe it was heartbreak
That makes me want to see others happy
And for them to not endure my mistakes
It’s never too late to realize what it takes for love’s sake
I don’t need other people’s possessions
I know that God is in the blessing business
I can go through life storms
Because I know that there is a rainbow afterwards
There is a balance that God manages
Which is why through it all
I believe that it’s what God
Has intended
What was meant
All things works
Together for good
I will trust God
Like I always do

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What Being A Mother Means to Me

It’s not about being recognized
Because we will continue
To do right by our children
As long as we are alive
We make sure that our children
Are fed and not just fast food
But homecooked meals
That are filled with our love
We make daily sacrifices
We give our children
Our undivided attention
We cloth our children with the best
But it goes beyond fashion
When we send our children off to school
It’s with the hopes
That they will do better than we did
We put smiles on our children’s faces
We give hope and strength
We pray that when our children get older
That they will not know
Anything about the word poverty
We teach our children the importance
Of having a strong relationship with God
Because it’s one of the best things
That they will ever have
Yes, we may make mistakes along the way
But when we mess up
We know how important it is
To fess up
Of course we are human
But no one is too big
That they can’t ask for forgiveness
Because besides having
God’s respect
Our children’s respect comes right behind His
We pray that our children
Will have better marriages
And no soul ties
Nothing that will ever break their spirits
But inheritance of happier hearts and beautiful minds
So when they go out into the world
They will be equipped with the knowledge
To thrive
Time flys
Our children will go from babies
In our arms
To young adults that are off to college
So we have to bless our children
With memories that will last them a lifetime
Being a mother isn’t about us
It’s about the children
Whom God blessed us with

Happy Birthday Kalieel

You were born ten days before my birthday
You are one of the most beautiful gifts
That I have ever been blessed to receive
Happy Birthday to my youngest son
Ever since you were born
You have been a ray of sunshine
And one of the best things
That I have ever held in my arms
Besides your brother
You know me better than anyone
In spite of you having autism
You know my favorite
Music, tv shows, video games, and football team
Our number one favorite thing is praying
Such an amazing young man
You always know how to brighten my day
When I am feeling down
You tell me that
Things will be okay
I could go on forever in a day
Telling you how much
Of a blessing that you are to me
I am so thankful
That God gave me you
I love you very much
You are my everything
To my heart
There is so much joy that you bring
Happy 15th Birthday Kalieel
I pray that God blesses
You with the desires
Of your heart
Each and every one

I Get It Now

Yesterday on Facebook I spoke out against gun control. I’m so thankful for my blog because it reminds me of the reason why I started it. People always tell me to speak for myself but when I do, I end up hitting someone’s nerve. I’m all for people having their own opinions but I can’t tolerate dealing with people who can’t see anything else, a debate becomes a headache instantly.

The post that I wrote said,” Everyone wants to talk about gun control but no one wants to talk about broken homes”. Oh! Why did I say that?! Here comes the backlash!

Everyone wants to talk about mass murders but no one wants to talk about what started it all prior to the person pulling the trigger. Bullying, delinquent associates, substance abuse, untreated mental illnesses and so forth all goes back to a child’s upbringing. Poor family relations and poor parental supervision are some of the reasons for the lack of parental intervention. No one wants to address the potential risk and need factors before the violence occurs.

Now please don’t misunderstand me I am sorry for the lives that were lost in violent crimes. I just don’t feel that gun control is the solution. People want a quick fix to more than likely a problem that they may have helped to contribute to. Its let’s take the guns away but don’t talk about poor home training. Everything isn’t a microwave fix sometimes a stove has to be used. Modern times have spoiled some people, they want quick fixes without putting in the work.

No one wants to talk about some women not using birth control or caring about the kind of partner they are having children with (who will soon be absent). The crazy thing is that some of the very people who support abortion feel that it’s okay to take away a person’s right to bear arms.

Like I said, “it’s all fun and games to talk about taking away someone else’s right until it’s something that they care about”. I’m being honest some of the black people who are for gun control because of the mass shootings are the same ones who get upset when black on black crime is mentioned. Some black people want to talk about the crazy white kid who committed mass murder but doesn’t care about a black kid being shot on the street corner. That’s when the snitches get stitches come in to play and no one says a word that could help to solve a murder. Some black people are selective about certain causes. Yes. I said it. They rather talk about the broken homes happening overseas. They don’t want to talk about the 72% out of wedlock rate that is climbing. The children born out of wedlock will want to know where they came from and why their parent is absent. It is selfish for adults to mess up as parents and expect their children to be okay. There are no do-overs in parenting it’s easier to fix a damaged kid than a broken adult. These broken people go out into the world, become society’s problem and sometimes people get hurt.

I am convinced more than ever that everything that I experienced growing up has lead up to this moment. I used to be ashamed about the pain from my childhood but now I want to help others. I get it now my past has molded me and now I am speaking out.

While growing up in a broken home
All I ever wanted
Was if I was blessed to become a mother
That my children would not experience
The same thing
My father was abusive
My mother struggled
She did her best of raising me
More important than the
Time spent, home cooking, cooking lessons
Was teaching me about Christ,
Responsibility and accountability
People say that the best way
To reach others is to be
Able to relate
To their pain
To their upbringing
I get it now
Everything that happened in my life
Was meant for something greater
People speak of gun control
But no one wants to speak
About the dysfunction
That is produced from a broken home
Serial killers, mass murders, bombers,
Black on black crime, terrorist etc.
All of these people are apart of situations
Where innocent people were killed
Not all by guns
When people want to kill
They don’t always use guns
One way or another
They will find a way to get it done
They will do what they set out to do
It’s time for me
To speak the truth
Being silent
There is no use
I get it now

My Lane

As I get older I find myself traveling down memory lane, thinking of what could have been then I am bought back to reality, things are how they are supposed to be. When I was nineteen I attended college for a short time then I began working at a convenience store thinking what I was making was big money guess what? I wasn’t. I should have stayed in college I allowed my contentment with substituting pennies for dollars. I allowed my contentment for a small paycheck to be bigger than a career with the benefits of a 401k. I am now back in college with two children even though it’s never too late for a change. I can’t deny that my decisions has a lot to do with my present life.

Now that I am older I understand that I will follow through with my goals. I will run my race because I want to get to my destination which can’t be done trying to run someone else’s. I have grown. I trust God’s guidance and Not my own. I trust God with my life’s outcome. Every day I tell myself these things:
My life
My lane
My choices
My mistakes
My lessons
My testimonies
My destiny
My God shall direct my path and supply my every need.

Our Blessings Blueprint

Just like building a house or building they require a blueprint so does our blessings. There are steps that we have to follow. A cake can’t be made with just a box of cake mix alone there are steps to follow in order to make it. Number one don’t talk about your blessings while your blessings are in process. Sometimes we can spoil our blessings by talking about them too soon. Or better yet we could give our blessings away by sharing our ideas. Each step works hand and hand to help our blessings to come to pass.

I pray that we all encounter our blessings that God has for us!

Victim or Victor?

First off I would like to share that I have four more courses left and I will receive my Bachelor’s degree. After I receive my Bachelor’s degree I will pursue a Master’s degree. I have to thank God for all that He has done for me!

Now that I have gotten that part out of the way, currently I am taking a course in Victimology. Victimology is the scientific study of physical, emotional, and financial harm people endure because of illegal activities. One of my discussion questions was about victim blaming. Victim blaming is when the victim is made responsible for a wrongdoing that occurred to them. Victim blaming isn’t always fair people who live in poverty are assumed to be lazy or unmotivated which isn’t always the case some things happen that’s beyond one’s control. This course got me to thinking a lot.

I grew up in a Christian home and I am very proud about this. Along the way in my life, I have made mistakes that had nothing to do with God. God gives us free will and I chose to live Not according to His Will so I paid the price. I made my bed so I have to lay in it until I get to where I am meant to be. I am not a person who constantly blame others and never myself. The victim role isn’t my thing I want to be victorious but it can’t happen if I am constantly blaming people and licking my wounds.

People may look at my life from the outside it may look one way but trust me it will turn out another way. People look at being rich in money and things as being successful that is not true being content is being rich. Rich people have more problems than anyone. Like Biggie said “More money more problems”. I would be happy just being able to take great care of my sons, be healthy, physically, mentally, and emotionally as well as number one has a relationship with God. Understand this it’s not about being rich in things I never will be, I am responsible for where I am and not God. I am rich because I have grown from my mistakes and I know better so I am doing better. God has given us so many examples that we can learn from like making mistakes in life is like losing weight change won’t happen overnight but if you stay consistent it will.

So what do I mean by all of this? Are we going to be a victim or victor? Have I made mistakes in the past? Yes. And I have grown from them. I probably will make mistakes in the future. We have to sometimes make wrong turns before making right ones. I choose to evaluate myself before I blame anyone else. I choose to be victorious!