My Lane

As I get older I find myself traveling down memory lane, thinking of what could have been then I am bought back to reality, things are how they are supposed to be. When I was nineteen I attended college for a short time then I began working at a convenience store thinking what I was making was big money guess what? I wasn’t. I should have stayed in college I allowed my contentment with substituting pennies for dollars. I allowed my contentment for a small paycheck to be bigger than a career with the benefits of a 401k. I am now back in college with two children even though it’s never too late for a change. I can’t deny that my decisions has a lot to do with my present life.

Now that I am older I understand that I will follow through with my goals. I will run my race because I want to get to my destination which can’t be done trying to run someone else’s. I have grown. I trust God’s guidance and Not my own. I trust God with my life’s outcome. Every day I tell myself these things:
My life
My lane
My choices
My mistakes
My lessons
My testimonies
My destiny
My God shall direct my path and supply my every need.


Our Blessings Blueprint

Just like building a house or building they require a blueprint so does our blessings. There are steps that we have to follow. A cake can’t be made with just a box of cake mix alone there are steps to follow in order to make it. Number one don’t talk about your blessings while your blessings are in process. Sometimes we can spoil our blessings by talking about them too soon. Or better yet we could give our blessings away by sharing our ideas. Each step works hand and hand to help our blessings to come to pass.

I pray that we all encounter our blessings that God has for us!

Victim or Victor?

First off I would like to share that I have four more courses left and I will receive my Bachelor’s degree. After I receive my Bachelor’s degree I will pursue a Master’s degree. I have to thank God for all that He has done for me!

Now that I have gotten that part out of the way, currently I am taking a course in Victimology. Victimology is the scientific study of physical, emotional, and financial harm people endure because of illegal activities. One of my discussion questions was about victim blaming. Victim blaming is when the victim is made responsible for a wrongdoing that occurred to them. Victim blaming isn’t always fair people who live in poverty are assumed to be lazy or unmotivated which isn’t always the case some things happen that’s beyond one’s control. This course got me to thinking a lot.

I grew up in a Christian home and I am very proud about this. Along the way in my life, I have made mistakes that had nothing to do with God. God gives us free will and I chose to live Not according to His Will so I paid the price. I made my bed so I have to lay in it until I get to where I am meant to be. I am not a person who constantly blame others and never myself. The victim role isn’t my thing I want to be victorious but it can’t happen if I am constantly blaming people and licking my wounds.

People may look at my life from the outside it may look one way but trust me it will turn out another way. People look at being rich in money and things as being successful that is not true being content is being rich. Rich people have more problems than anyone. Like Biggie said “More money more problems”. I would be happy just being able to take great care of my sons, be healthy, physically, mentally, and emotionally as well as number one has a relationship with God. Understand this it’s not about being rich in things I never will be, I am responsible for where I am and not God. I am rich because I have grown from my mistakes and I know better so I am doing better. God has given us so many examples that we can learn from like making mistakes in life is like losing weight change won’t happen overnight but if you stay consistent it will.

So what do I mean by all of this? Are we going to be a victim or victor? Have I made mistakes in the past? Yes. And I have grown from them. I probably will make mistakes in the future. We have to sometimes make wrong turns before making right ones. I choose to evaluate myself before I blame anyone else. I choose to be victorious!

Like a Sister

We see it on television or social media every day a person who was considered to be a sister who betrayed another in the worse way. Is there any true sisterhood anymore? Are there any loyal sisters today?

It’s all about the respect and the value that people choose to place on things like friendships, relationships, marriages, and yes sisterhood.

I saw a beautiful post and it’s so how I am. The post said ” I am a woman’s woman and a faithful friend. I won’t run off with your man. I won’t hate you because you’re beautiful. I’ll celebrate your success as my own. I’ll keep your secrets and listen to your rants. I choose my friends carefully and if I choose you, I’ll love you like a sister.

I don’t take pleasure in pulling other sisters down. No matter where I am in life through my highs and lows I am never stingy with a compliment. If a sister has lost weight, a new place, new hair-do I will tell her, that I am proud, that she’s beautiful. Never will I undermine a sister’s accomplishment she deserves her props. One thing I don’t do and that’s jock another sister’s style, I am a confident woman I don’t constantly need the spotlight.

This world is already wicked and filled with heartless hateful people. Being negative is easy to do, seeing the best in people can be hard if we focus on the bad things only. There is peace in positivity.

Being mean and fault finding all the time isn’t healthy it’s good to have awareness of the negative people and situations. However, it’s good to enjoy things as well as people that come along.

I choose to believe that there are still good people and that means sisters of every color. Flowers bloom together, they don’t compete because each has their own unique beauty. I’m keeping faith about true sisterhood. It exists.

On This Day

First off, Happy Valentine’s Day to all! I pray and hope that everyone is enjoying their day, their way.

Facebook has something called “On this day” where people are able to look back and reflect on what they posted the prior years. On this Valentine’s day be happy for others and if you are attached be thankful for the loved one that you have.

I have seen some people who say that they are ready for this day to be over, I guess it’s a reminder that they are single. I think that some single people have to learn how to be happy for others. What’s the difference in seeing a person get a job promotion and a person who are in a happily committed relationship? A blessing is a blessing. It’s important that we are careful about how we express ourselves about certain things because it’s a reflection of who we are deep down inside.

Every day reflect on what occurred in your past relationships if you are single because you won’t be single forever. You want to make amends with the pain that may still be affecting you. Why else would you hate this day?

A person should never feel bad about being single. It’s best to be with the right one than the wrong one. It’s best to heal from past hurt than to get involved with someone and hurt them in some way. Hurt people, hurt others. Heal people, heal others. When we are healed we can then go on and have a healthy loving relationship.

So on this Valintine’s day look at it in a positive way because if you can do that it’s a sign that you have healed from whatever it that hurt you.

What a Joke

Recently, I lost a Facebook friend of five years over a post that I reposted. In a time where people should be tolerant of other people thoughts, many are not. The post was about a testimony of a Facebook friend of mine who says that she was delivered from homosexuality. This lady’s story is amazing her life has completely changed. Anyway, the Facebook friend that I lost doesn’t believe that people can be delivered from homosexuality and that’s her right. After all, she is bisexual which is the reason why she was so hot under the collar about the post.

The person who claims that people should be free to love who they choose apparently doesn’t feel it applies to people’s beliefs. Ahhhh, the hypocrisy!!! I am not bashing this formal facebook friend because there are a lot of people like this person.

This is what I have come to believe about this formal Facebook friend if she accepted that people can be delivered from homosexuality it would mean that she would be admitting that what she is doing is wrong. She would be admitting that God is real and she would have to answer to someone other than herself. Which is why people don’t want to have a belief because they act like a bunch of out of control teenagers. I just turned 18 and ain’t nobody telling me what to do. Not even God! No one wants to believe that they are wrong. It just amazes me that the people who claim that people should be free from the bondage of religion can be the most hypocritical. We really have to watch out for people who are lovers of themselves because they will cross you quickly without a second thought.

I respect what others believe but I do wish that they would respect other’s beliefs. I am open-minded about other people’s thoughts. No one is above learning from someone else as long as they are opened to what others have to say. There are stories in the Bible about non-believers too Not just believers only. Heck, God used a donkey to reach people. Most people who don’t believe in anything are mean and very wicked people. These people are so angry with God and that’s okay…God loves you anyway. Yes, as much as a nonbeliever hates God, He still loves them.

This Time of Year

I always get sad
Around this time of year
It’s when my mother
Left from here
Let me make myself clear
When it comes to
The death of a love one
You never heal
It’s impossible to get over
Losing someone who
You held so near, so dear
To your heart
There are always
Things that remind you
That they are gone
A picture, a memory, a song
Holidays, birthdays
Every time I reached
An important moment in my life
I would whisper
This is for you mom
I often wonder
How things would be like
If she was here
What advice would
She have given me
To help to endure hardships
She was so strong
She was so courageous
She was a leader
She was a blessing
She was my hero
Which is why all
I ever wanted to do
Was to make her happy
And to see her smile
It’s still impossible
For me to talk about her
Without holding back my tears
Bottled up feelings
Resides inside even though
I live my life
As best as I can
Even after twenty-one years this Saturday
It’s still feels as if
She passed yesterday
This is why I say
If you have lost
A special someone
Don’t allow anyone
To make you feel
As if the grief process has a limit
To heck with that
Never feel bad about
Mourning the one you love
Or for missing them
The pain is for life
Death of a love one
Will always hurt