The Love Dare

Anthony,
I decided to step back not because I don’t care about you because I do (very much so) I didn’t want to add to the confusion in your life it’s not what you need or deserve. From what you have shared with me it sounds like it’s very chaotic in your life after all this time I will touch back on that part later. There were so many times that I wanted to reach out to you, but I opted not to. Any decision that you choose should be yours alone, and no one should influence that I don’t care who the person is. What is meant to happen will find its way, and nothing or no one can stop what will be.

I am not going to preach, but I know that God is real He changed me whether you ever get to the point that you believe in Him that is entirely up to you. You have said “that all you wanted was to be able to talk to me.” it just wasn’t the right time. I admit it I was wounded, I was angry, and I was in my feelings God had to work on me it wasn’t a good time. I always felt like I had to fight for you, and I always felt like I wasn’t good enough; we both know the reasons why. Recently, I have asked you to please come to me if you have any questions about me don’t listen to anyone because messengers have motives. When someone tells you something, especially when it’s negative wonder what their motivation is because most times it’s not positive.

Anthony, when we got together, we were so very young. Once we got married, we had no guidance no one ministered to us about anything, which is why I want to counsel couples about marriage. Couples should know what real love is, so they will know how to love each other. I genuinely believe that any marriage can last; it’s what God intended; that’s why He hates divorce. All people have to do is put their egos aside and love their spouses enough. Everyone has days when they are unlovable, and that’s when the test comes in. If we can’t be real with our loved one, there is a problem; it’s imperative to allow them to be able to express their feelings. People have to understand that once a person chooses to marry them, they can’t stop learning about them because we change every day we can’t stop trying to keep their heart just because we feel that we have won it.

I want you to know that every couple has communication problems, not just us when we were a couple. Communication breakdowns will happen because people have different personalities; thus, differences will occur. People have to care about fixing the problem. Every marriage gets bland, has struggles, people get selfish, but people should never forget about the special spark that was the reason why they got married. After all, let’s be honest; no two people get married because they hate each other. Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. It’s not something that is of convenience, marriage is hard, but it’s beautiful too. When people get married, it’s for better or worse, and well we all know the rest of the vows the truth is people only focus on the good parts which is the reason why they can’t handle the hard parts once they occur.

Regardless of the situation good or bad, the Bible says that all things work together for the good. Something good will come from out of all of this, and we all will see it, respect it, accept it, and hopefully grow from it. I will not talk about the past because there is nothing that we can do about that accept grow from it. I will not attack you because I have forgiven you. I won’t fight over you or start drama because God already knows what He is going to do. Also, I know the woman that I am there is no need for all of that. All I can do is trust God. I will say this a real woman who is doing what she should do should never allow her man to ever feel uncomfortable not at our ages. I’m not saying these things because of our history but because I have gained wisdom. If a woman is laying a foundation with her man, she lets everyone know what’s up no matter who they are. She makes everyone respect him because she understands that what a man desires the most is to be respected. She knows that a man goes through enough in the world and shouldn’t have to deal with it at home too. You know why I am saying what I am saying it doesn’t matter how much a person has done for you if they care and it’s from the heart why should it matter? Unless strings are attached to what a person does, perhaps? You are not a lazy man, and you pull your weight. I pray that what I have written frees you to do what you need to do. We are grown-ups there is no room for foolish games life is entirely too short for that. I am expressing myself, and I don’t think that I am putting myself out there; I am not begging you for anything. I am putting this out here on my blog for the whole world to see. Remember, love isn’t a fight; it’s worth fighting for if it’s right. Love is also an action word. Love isn’t a guilt trip or forced; it’s given freely, it’s not a headache, and it flows without problems.

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Leave It in the Past

Year after year goes by
And people tell themselves
That things will be different
This time
They make a new year’s resolution
As if it’s a magic potion or
An automatic solution
For whatever the problem may be
Still everything in life
Isn’t that easy
Some things are just
Too painful
When a person tells
You to leave things
In the past
Depending on what it is
It’s a sign of them
Having a lack of compassion
Or attempting to not deal
With a situation
Some situations have to be
Dealt with
Because they aren’t avoidable
One shouldn’t consider
Themselves a Christian
Is they have no empathy
For others
No one sat in school
And told the social studies teacher
To leave history
In the past
Or they would have failed
History class
Have they not heard
Of the saying
Those who don’t learn
For the past are
Doomed to repeat it
If certain situations
Are dealt with
How could it be left
In the past
The healing process
Can never began
Without acknowledging mistakes
That have caused pain
Things can’t just be
Swept under a rug
Try having understand
Before speaking as if
You do
Or you will only
Become part of the monster
Of a person’s past
Simply because you are
Trying to get past
A situation that you don’t
Want to deal with
Or don’t care about
Maybe because
It’s not you
Trying saying those
Words to a domestic violence survivor
Or family member
Of a murder victim
Be part of the solution
Not the salt being applied
To an already severe wound

Autumn

Autumn is my favorite
Of all four of the seasons
Gone are the signs of Summer
The extremely hot and humid weather
With not many breezes
To give some sort of relief
From the uncomfortable
And sometimes unbearable heat
Is it fine if it is
Someone else’s favorite season
Absolutely
But I have trouble believing
That someone would
Choose summer over autumn
What’s not to love?
However to each their own
Thankful that summer is over
And it’s not about having
A beach body
Happy for a season
That requires wearing warm clothing
I be looking forward
To wearing sweaters
As well as
Wondering to myself
Whether or not if it’s
All right to wear my boots yet
Different colored leaves
Falling from soon to be bare trees
Attempting to find out
How many leaves that I can catch
Toasting marshmallows on
Enormous bonfires that contain what
Seems to be eternal flames
Long starry nights
Crisp aired breezes
Everything with pumpkins
Pumpkin pies and don’t
Forget the pumpkin spiced coffee
Mostly importantly football season
So allow autumn
To occupy its place
It’s only for about 89 to 93 days
Just appreciate it’s brief moment
Because in a blink of an eye
It will be gone without
A trace
Then winter will
Begin to whisper
Of it’s arrival
The only hint of autumn that will
Be around are memories
Which can’t be whisked away
Like a rake did to the leaves
That once flew down streets,
Sidewalks, and walkways
If I had my way
Autumn would never go away

Real Christian?

Will the real Christians please stand up? Do you know how many people consider themselves Christians? There are 2.4 billion people in the world who follow Christianity. Christians and people of the world seems to think they know what a real Christian is.

I don’t pay attention to the people of the world because they don’t believe in Christ so their opinions are invalid. They use people as an excuse to not have a relationship with Christ. I can’t take people seriously who use others as an excuse instead of just saying that they don’t want to follow Christ.

Every day I see certain Christians make a big deal about things like hair color just a couple of weeks ago Erica Campbell debuted her pink hair. There were so many people in an uproar claiming that she looked too “worldly”. Erica Campbell is one half of the gospel group Mary Mary. Mary Mary makes music that everyone can enjoy no telling how many people that they have brought to Christ. For the record I felt that she looked fantastic. The pink hair that she wore was from her hairline called Erica. So I’m thinking it could be about her making money in my opinion. I just can’t take some black Christians seriously. I’ll tell you why. Guess who used to rock pink hair unapologetically until she passed away?
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Jan Crouch founded TBN with her husband I never heard not even one black person say anything about her hair. As a matter of fact they made huge donations to TBN for years and probably still do. Some black people pick and choose what they want to get up in an uproar about.

The word Christian means Christlike resembling or showing the spirit of Christ. christly. christian – following the teachings or manifesting the qualities or spirit of Jesus Christ. No Christian will ever be perfect the bibles says it.Romans 3:10 As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one. However it is still no excuse to fall short on purpose. Every day we should strive to do better on our walk with Christ.
sidewalks
Christ will help us to get better on our walk if our heart is truly in it. My walk isn’t according to other Christians standards and definitely not by the world’s standards but God’s. People need not look at me if you aren’t looking to God first. Everyone lives and paths are different. I don’t know what Christ is doing in other people’s lives I’m concentrating on my own path while praying for others. Real Christians pray for one another and aren’t hurtful to one another. There is a saying that goes that a Christian may be the only Bible that a person reads. Which is interesting. The only person who was perfect in the Bible was Christ everyone fell short including David. So if I am the Bible that a person reads they will see that I’m a human being with a lot of faith in God just like Job had.

Simple Advice

Relationships, marriages, and Friendships are some of God’s Greatest invention
So take the time to enjoy them
Pick people who don’t have egos
Because it’s something that
They will never let go of
You are
Too priceless to care about the opinions
Of people that doesn’t
Add to your worth but subtracts
Forget that
Love is too beautiful
For a person to live
Their whole life
And never experience how it feels
Time is too short
To spend it on
A person that it wasn’t meant for
Hurt is too painful
To receive from someone
Who doesn’t care for you
Tears are too precious
To fall behind someone
Who’s not worth it
Tears should be of joy
No one should be
With a person
Whom they love
More than they love themselves
Because it will always show
Through their treatment
There just isn’t any respect
If a relationship or marriage
Isn’t Christ based
Why even entertain it
It will eventually
Turn out to be a waste
True love is never a mistake
The right one doesn’t
Make you feel as if you
Should be search for more
Because it feels like
Something is missing
The perfect one knows you
As well as you know yourself
They may not have the exact
Same interest as you
Still their awareness of them
Is important too
Know your worth
And don’t allow a person
To talk you down
You are not a piece
Of real estate
Never compromise
If your standards are too
High for a person tell
The person bye
The right one person
Will do what it takes
To have you
They recognize your value
If a person wants something
Or someone bad enough
They will do what
It takes to get it
Things will be if it’s meant
So never fall for a
Guilt trip
Save that feeling
For a cheat day of a diet
There is so much
Beauty in this world that was
Created by God Almighty
Not to share it with somebody
When you do find that
Special person
Give more
So that you two
Can build more
And search for ways
To keep your love strong

The Headaches of Dating Interracially

The other day I saw a post from a white lady that said:

“Dear Black men and black women,
Why is that when love joins two people together of different races does this become a problem with you? You say that you love and serve God yet your hatred from the unity of two people in love says differently. God didn’t teach this. If you hate on others it is like hating yourself. Stop that. Stop creating problems where there is no problem. Leave people to live, love and to be free. It’s as simple as that. I love you all and God loves you most. Be good and kind to each other. As God says love one another as you love ourselves. Amen”

I have nothing against this lady she’s wonderful but she really got me to thinking. Especially about people’s true thoughts on interracial dating. On Youtube videos of Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex they are filled with hateful words some are from white people who are calling her racist names. Meghan is half black and half white, yet they look at her as being completely black. Which to me is racist. Why can’t Meghan be seen for the person that she is? Racist people can’t do it, that’s why.

Now I am not sure of what exactly she saw that made her post this. However, I could give a hill of beans about who black men date or marry. I am not into black men and they can date whomever they choose. I hope that they feel the same way about black women too. It’s crazy to me. This lady addressed black people it’s highly doubtful that she saw Chelsy Davy’s face. Please don’t tell me that it was just because Harry was getting married either. In case a reminder is needed of Chelsy’s expression at Prince Harry and Meghan’s wedding. Her facial impression was so apparent that it produced a sea of memes.
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I remember when a white guy that I was talking to said that everyone is a little racist. I’m not sure whether or not that it’s really true. I do know by this lady making a post it could mean a few things mostly that she saw something that a black person did.

If we look at the rate that black men date out people are used to it. Most people are used to seeing black men with women of other races. Black women are just becoming comfortable with opening up their dating options. I have experience dating white men and I have gotten stares from black men as well as white women. So it’s not a black people thing only, it’s a racial thing that shows when people of different races are dating.
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Father’s Day 2018

Happy Father’s Day to all the amazing fathers around the world! Thank you so much!

Now that I have gotten that part out of the way I would like to talk about why real fathers shouldn’t be robbed of their day. Yes. I am a single parent who is a mother but I am Not a father. Today is not the day to talk about my desires of an intact home or complain about my sons’ father. Yes. There are fathers who are deadbeats but Not all fathers. There are fathers who are wonderful dads.

There are some wonderful fathers who are hands on with their children. I have seen fathers who walk their children to school, take them to practices, and spends quality time with their children. These fathers know their children’s favorite foods, colors, and dreams. They are their children’s heroes and amazing role models.

When we talk about deadbeats on father’s day and being a single mother it takes away from the really excellent fathers. We should Not rob the great fathers of their day besides deadbeats are still that the other 364 days of the year. The deadbeats will continue to set records for not being a good father, they will not disappoint sadly they will continue to let us down by being deadbeats, trust me! Let’s not give them any kind of recognition even if it’s not in a good way especially today.

Blessings to all the excellent fathers around the world! Keep up the beautiful work it is appreciated!