We Are Beautiful

Recently everywhere I turn

I see men of different races

Including my very own

Making it seem like

Black women are the least desirable

Men like Chris Rock and

Steve Harvey speaking about

The kinds of men who love us

I can’t take it anymore

Our black is beautiful

Every day many of us struggle

With situations that

We should not have to endure alone

We are mothers

Who are also filling in as

The role of father

This situation has gotten old

The worse part is when we

Are made to feel like

We are somehow responsible

For receiving the hurt

That we don’t deserve

It’s so absurd

One of the stupidest things

That  I have ever heard

There’s a 72% percentage

Of absentee fathers

Look at the numbers

These men choose

To not be bothered

It doesn’t take a math whiz

Or a rocket scientist

Last time  I checked

It takes a man and a woman

To make a baby

Is there any other ways

I’ll wait

Lord knows that  I am a Christian

I always turn the other cheek constantly

Most black women are forgiving

About the situations that helps

Many of us to feel incomplete

Dealing with things like certain men

Who are filled with deceit that cheat

Lacking the understanding as to

Why some men would rather mistreat

Good women in a heartbeat

As if it would kill them to

Commit faithfully

In spite of black women circumstances

Defeat is not a part of our vocabulary

We always push ourselves hard

Like a star athlete

There’s a lot more to us

Than what people think

I’m telling  you right now

On us don’t sleep

We are constantly striving and evolving

Every word that  I speak

Is concrete

I can produce receipts

Say what  you want about me

Turn up the heat

I will not surrender or retreat

Can’t continue to listen

To all of the bull

Like how some of the wounds

Of black women

Are self-inflicted

I just don’t understand it

I do know that black women

Are over being taken for granted

As well as being blamed for this

Got me like

Alanis Morrissette

Isn’t it ironic

Don’t you think

Some black men

Speak of wanting black women

To hold them down

When they have nothing

Yet when some of them get on

Their feet

They treat their women and

Very own children

Like pot holes in a street

Then have the nerve

To question why we are angry

Really?

Please

Spare me

After awhile all of this becomes

So annoying

Some of you have no concept

Of loyalty

As long as black women

Are going along with the program

Everything is hunky-dory

However once we wake up

And stand up things are

A different story

Oh and don’t get me

Talking about the subject of dating

Black men was the first to

Put cream in their coffee

This is after slavery

At least that’s what mother

Used to tell me

May her beautiful soul

Rest in peace

If black women

Date outside of their race

Immediately we are accused

Of self-hate

In addition making it seem

As if men of other races

See us as mere fetishes

Like we are nothing

More than sex objects

I’m so sick of the disrespect

When will you guys open your eyes

And realize that

When our community is hurting

No one benefits

And no wins

Because we all suffer in the end

Things comes back in a full spin

I won’t stop talking about this

It’s a promise

Like Mc Hammer

I’m too legit to quit

Refusing to conform

To what seems to be the norm

Because it’s awful

Black women we deserve love

Beyond measure

We are a treasure

Keep in mind that love has no color

This mindset opens up our options more

Always remember this number

One thing and that is our value

Is not found in negative

People’s words

Black women are powerful

Even when we stand alone

We are so strong

Black women we are beautiful

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Spiritual Maturity

I will not and do not pretend that  I have it all together however I will say that  I am a woman who has learned from her mistakes. One of the biggest mistakes that  I have done in the past is allowing my emotions to control me. Too many times we live off of our emotions, when we live from off of our emotions we don’t make wise choices. Spiritual maturity is knowing how to manage our feelings and not allowing them to manage us. Its good to have feelings they help us to be able to relate to others we can empathize and have compassion but we can’t allow our feelings to lead us the wrong way. There can be no spiritual growth as long as we follow our feelings, we have to know what feels wrong but choose to do what is right.

The enemy mission is to kill, steal and destroy the one thing he wants the most is to kill our faith; he tries to do this during times of trouble. How we respond to the enemy attacks is to not act like him but act like Christ. I speak about marriage a whole lot it’s a covenant that was created by God; marriage is one of the best examples of commitment. Marriage is a beautiful thing especially when it has God as the foundation. So many marriages end in divorce because people go into it with unrealistic ideas of what marriage is. A word of advice if you are standing in front of the pastor exchanging vows with the thought of if this doesn’t work than….. Do Not Get Married!!! Divorce should not be an option if a marriage encounters problems. Marriages have problems sometimes  I don’t care how great it is at times. The vows have for better or worse let’s focused on both words because they are both important. When people first get married everything is new but after awhile it will wear off commitment is suppose to step in, it takes a marriage to a deeper level which is more solid.

When  I get married again  I want a husband that is committed to me once the excitement and newness wear off. I want a husband who loves Christ more than I do, is loyal, faithful, true, a leader and is tougher than the toughest times that we encounter. Commitment is strength and not giving up just because things don’t feel good anymore. A great marriage strength is in it’s commitment and not just feelings alone; it’s a sign of true victory!!  Remember a marriage will lose it’s newness like a brand new car but you will still keep the car right? True commitment is staying committed to the very end.

I’ve come along way and  I have been through a lot but I thank God for all of it. Everyday  I make the commitment to put on love, kindness and patience regardless of the situation or how I feel. People have disappointed me,betrayed me, let me down and hurt me even after  I have been nice to them. I feel sorry for people who are always angry it’s a sign that they are operating off of emotions alone and that is never good. Regardless of how people treat me  I am still going to do things on purpose like love those who have hurt me and pray for them. Hurt people hurt others healed people heal others I am healed!! I am always counting the cost of every move that  I make and I am walking in love too. Thankful so much for becoming strong spiritually off of the Word of God.

Colossians 3:14

And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.

He Showed Me

As I have shared I am a Christian woman who is going through a divorce. Divorce is not good it affects everyone that’s involved in one way or another especially the children. Divorce is hard because when you get married the goal is for it to last forever. I’m very old fashioned so I was kicking myself the whole time about my divorce up until recently. In the beginning I did what I could to get pass the idea of divorce. Besides me feeling like the marriage was a failure what’s more important than my feelings?? God’s of course God hates divorce. Even though in the law it’s written that for certain reasons God allows divorce the way He feels about divorce is quite the opposite.

The other day I watched a video about divorce that was confirmation so now I am set free about my failed marriage. While I was devastated about things before I have since let go and let God. Believe it or not good things have come out of my failed marriage. I have grown so much and I really want to help other people prior to marriage and during too. Marriage is nothing like a relationship it’s important for people to understand the seriousness of it. Marriage is far more than a piece of paper if you get involved with a person that thinks that way then you need to find out why.

I have a lot of advice while everyone is different there are still many things that are the same when it comes to marriage. Number one always treat your spouse with respect, never disrespect them in front of others, and never speak against them to others even your parents. Number two communicate no one is born a mind reader so if something is bothering you say it. Number three once you are married forget the single minded mentality you are one money and alllll. When it comes to money always let your spouse know about all spending and lending. I know people have crisis but let your spouse know when you are helping someone. Number four always be loving to your King and Queen I know that life gets busy but always make time for your spouse this is the person whom you want to spend the rest of your life with. Number five above everything keep God first. God gives structure to our lives I don’t care what anybody says or thinks if God was in my marriage things would have been better.

I am praying for everyone who are about to get married, who are married and those who maybe experiencing problems. My prayer is that everyone turns to God for help. There is no problem that He can not solve. I don’t ever want anyone to feel as I do being thankful for a video for confirmation. If I had God as the foundation of the marriage things would have been different. I’m fine with being able to share my story as a way to help others. I pray that my post will help somebody. God bless everyone.

A Noose Around A Brother’s Neck

Yes child support is for children of every race this is understood. I am writing this pertaining to a video.So there’s a guy whose video that I came across on YouTube claiming that child support is a noose around a black man’s neck. The guy who made the video claimed that it was a way to keep a black man down. Let me start off by saying two things one is that the guy is biased against women and two as long as I watch YouTube I will not run out of things to write about. Feeling the way that I felt I still watched the video in it’s entirety and it interested me so much that I had to blog about. Just couldn’t pass up this topic it is a hot one. 

There are so many stories that I have pertaining to mothers, fathers and child support. The situation has plenty of blame to go around. It’s ashame that the government has to get involved to make a parent do right. Yes there are some women who pay child support however it’s mostly men. It makes me upset when people starts to point fingers just do what you are suppose to do as a parent. When you get involved with a person think are they a person that you can see yourself marrying or having children with them? If the answer is no then don’t risk the chance of being tied to that person with a lifetime commitment.  Are there some spiteful money hungry women who use the money on other things besides their children? Yes but you saw the signs there are always signs you just choose to ignore the red flags. Am I saying that a person deserves to be stressed out forever with drama? No but don’t take a chance and gamble. When a person shows you who they are believe them.

Indeed there is a time to be private and there’s a time to help with your story. Imagine if no one shared their testimonies and stories it’s important to encourage as many people as we can. It may help someone out and that’s an awesome thing. As I have shared I am a single parent of two sons and I am doing as best as I can WITHOUT child support. My children’s father was in prison for basically ten years and I did NOT put him on child support. Even while a person is in prison they can be placed on child support I choose to opt out of that choice. My ex has been out since November and has Not seen his children after ten years. Does it make me upset how he treats our children? Yes of course however I place things into God’s hands He will handle things. I’m Not spiteful here’s why I have Not sought child support the agent would throw him back into jail and that doesn’t do either one of us any good. I’m giving him time to get on his feet and an opportunity to do what he can however I have a time limit trust me.

Let’s look at things like this why would a person try to hurt another? Perhaps there are still feelings there I do Not have feelings for my ex it’s about our children. Our children have been through enough and do Not deserve any additional heartache. If you love your children make it about your children Not about your ex. The children did not ask to come here. Some of you mothers quit trying to hurt the father by digging into his pockets in the hopes that no woman will want him because we all know that it won’t happen. Fathers child support is not worth more than time spent with your children. Call your children more often, visit them, and yes you can date as well as move on however take your children with you. Our ex is our past but our children are a lifetime commitment honor it  and don’t ever forget that. Put your grownup pants on and co-parent properly.

Interracial Dating

Everyone knows where I stand on love as far as I am concerned love has no color. Yes I am down with the swirl. Therefore I am I interested in dating white men and I’m ready to accept what comes with it. I have seen the backlash that black women get for talking about dating outside of their race. We are attacked constantly like doves during hunting  season. The number one thing that’s asked  besides their claims of self hate is”With so much that’s going on in the world why are you dicussing your love life.” To me why not with all the horrific things that’s going on let’s talk about some goodness and being in love is a fantastic thing. So let’s share the good news please shall we.

I love all kinds of music, poetry, so many different things most black men who share my interests are into white women and that’s true facts. I want to be with a man who I can be me and that’s okay. He embraces who I am completely not partly. Doesn’t make me feel like I am trying to be someone else when all that I am being is myself it’s something that I cannot help. There was a time years ago when I would hold back who I was because I was being a people pleaser well that’s no more. Life is too short to not be happy. In my life besides caring about what God thinks it’s about what and who makes me happy.

Can Christians Be Sexy?

Sexy- sexually attractive or exciting

I am very inquisitive I believe there’s no such thing as a dumb question. If you don’t know ask it never hurts. Question: Are Christians allowed to be sexy? Some people think that being sexy is about the clothes that one wears that is just part of it I feel that sexy is being confident and tasteful at the same time. People have different opinions on certain words. For me I feel why not be sexy just don’t go overboard. It’s fine to be sexy for your husband what’s wrong with making sure that you are the apple of his eye. Doing things like staying fit and always looking close to how you did when you two first met. Ask a person that you trust whether or not if what you are wearing is appropriate. If it makes you feel uncomfortable then chances are it isn’t.

There was a picture floating around the internet pertaining to a lady who was standing in church if what she wore was appropriate for church. Now this is not what I  mean also in this situation I believe that she may was just coming to the faith perhaps it was all that she had. It’s never good to judge, a picture may can speak a thousand words but which one of them are true? Unless it comes straight from the horse’s mouth what you think holds no value really. Perhaps the very lovely Marilyn Monroe said it best “Your clothes should be tight enough to show you’re a woman and loose enough to be a lady. Sexy is being confident and classy at the same time. Yes when we decide to become a Christian there are things that we are to no longer do that’s so true that includes our attitudes and choice of clothing too. When the holy spirit is within us he will definitely be our guide.  I think that God doesn’t mind us being proud of the temple that He gave to us. Just not too proud of course.