Virtually Invisible

Figuratively and Metaphorically
I have abdominal pains
Head injuries
Due to me falling
From always attempting to take
The high road
It’s so sad how
I get hurt from
Trying to be
The bigger person
This happens constantly
Because I have been
Avoiding the realization that
Some situations are just
Too low to ignore
You put the beat
Into being a deadbeat
No wonder why
Drumline was once
Your favorite movie
I get called
The B word
Because I call you out
On your crap
Well you are
The N word
Which is Narcisst
You say that you
Miss and love
Your kids
Remember this
Actions speaks louder
Than words
You miss special moments
Because you are so busy
Entertaining your
Selfish fantasies and desires
Trying to be everything
To everyone
Except for those
Who should be
The most important
Which are
Your very own children
Your very own flesh and blood
Currently they are not
Your priority
And they probably
Never will be sadly
You have a
Childish mentality
Always bragging
About being the baby
Of the family
You tell lies in order
To keep your comfortability
Which has broken
Our sons spiritually
I’ll call you It
You are a clown
Not because you bring joy
Or that you are funny
It’s because of the
Deceptive makeup that you wear
And tricks
That you are offering
You are just a big joke
That no one is laughing at
One day will be someday soon
When you will live to regret
The missed holidays and birthdays
That were traded for
Less than a minute
Duration calls
Trump wants to build a wall
He should
Build one around
The men who display
Precursors of being
Deadbeat fathers
And the problem would
Be solved
I am tired
Of irresponsible men
Spreading their seed around
Without having any
Kind of conscience
And have the audacity
To blame the mothers of the children
Calling us jealous and bitter
As if
You are an innocent bystander
That was hit by fatherhood
You fools don’t know that
One plus one
Equals three
Without the use of
A condom
Isn’t being protected
Worth paying three dollars for
Nevermind
Judging by your track record
Of muiltiple baby mothers
Your irresponsible actions
Speaks volumes loudly
Why must the children
Endure your painful lessons
Because of you constantly
Making messes
That will become society’s issues
One way or another
Raising a child
Requires the presence
Of both mother and father
Coparenting
Doing whatever is necessary
You can’t possibly
Possess a mirror
How can you look
At yourself each and every day
Knowing that you are not
Taking care of your responsibilities
Nothing matters
Because you deadbeat
Are content
With being a virtually invisible
Father

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I Just Don’t Know How to Feel

I feel like the U2 song called Numb
I have a bland demeanor
I just don’t know how to feel
I wrote a post
The other day
Was it God preparing me
I spoke about
The importance of being healthy
Then boom one of my sisters
That is second to me in my family
Became sickly
My sister and I
Have very different personalities
We are not any different
Than any other siblings
She would push me
To the point where
I would scream
Then things would really get ugly
The next thing you know
We stop speaking
To each other
This last time was unique
Because when I spoke
Back to my sister
She had a surgery
That changed everything
It brought on an
Illness that made her so weak
That it robbed
Her of her speech and mobility
My sister told me
That she had a vision
Of all of her sisters
When we were young
In the backyard playing
Then she gave me an apology
She said I’m sorry
That I have been so mean
I love you with all of my heart
Then she started crying
And asked God
Why are You punishing me?
I think about Christianity
Christians are still
Human beings
Is it right
For us to except
People being mean?
I always try
To be forgiving
I feel so torn
Do I stand up
And demand respect
For all the times
She made me upset
Or do I allow
This situation to teach me
To not waste time
On stupid things
Because time is the most
Valuable thing that you can
Share with someone
That you love deeply
I love my sisters
So much I just
Want us to live to be elderly
I just want us to live carefree
I just want us to be happy
Father God in Heaven
Please allow my prayers
To be
My heart can’t take
Anymore agony

Like a Sister

We see it on television or social media every day a person who was considered to be a sister who betrayed another in the worse way. Is there any true sisterhood anymore? Are there any loyal sisters today?

It’s all about the respect and the value that people choose to place on things like friendships, relationships, marriages, and yes sisterhood.

I saw a beautiful post and it’s so how I am. The post said ” I am a woman’s woman and a faithful friend. I won’t run off with your man. I won’t hate you because you’re beautiful. I’ll celebrate your success as my own. I’ll keep your secrets and listen to your rants. I choose my friends carefully and if I choose you, I’ll love you like a sister.

I don’t take pleasure in pulling other sisters down. No matter where I am in life through my highs and lows I am never stingy with a compliment. If a sister has lost weight, a new place, new hair-do I will tell her, that I am proud, that she’s beautiful. Never will I undermine a sister’s accomplishment she deserves her props. One thing I don’t do and that’s jock another sister’s style, I am a confident woman I don’t constantly need the spotlight.

This world is already wicked and filled with heartless hateful people. Being negative is easy to do, seeing the best in people can be hard if we focus on the bad things only. There is peace in positivity.

Being mean and fault finding all the time isn’t healthy it’s good to have awareness of the negative people and situations. However, it’s good to enjoy things as well as people that come along.

I choose to believe that there are still good people and that means sisters of every color. Flowers bloom together, they don’t compete because each has their own unique beauty. I’m keeping faith about true sisterhood. It exists.

Half Baked

There once was a lady who I used to associate with who said something that was so profound. She said that “she was tired of a lot of black mothers sending their sons out into the world half baked expecting girlfriends and wives to finish baking them”. I never forgot her words. She said the words out of frustration due to the problems she was having out of her boyfriend at the time. He was always lying and cheating. The man was just an irresponsible person who cared nothing about his actions or the hurt that he inflicted upon others.

The one thing that I have learned from my criminal mind’s class is that everything starts at home. Most times the foundation of a serial killer’s dysfunction is an unhealthy home life. No, I am not justifying killing, I am pointing out how powerful family is. Jeffrey Dahmer’s mother abandoned him, Charles Manson’s mother rejected him and the Son of Sam’s birth mother rejected him as well.

The sad thing about the black community is that dysfunction is the “norm” for some people. People have developed a high tolerance for toxic behavior even finding it entertaining. People can’t complain about what’s going on in the community yet enjoy watching the same situations on television or jam to degrading lyrics to a song on the radio. Sza’s song “The Weekend” is okay to bob your head to until the woman who’s sharing the man is you. Heck!!! Some women are okay with sharing a man. Not understanding that they deserve a man who will love them so much that he is faithful. Many young black women come from broken homes so they wasn’t taught about their worth.

No one wants to stay in a place that is filled with dysfunction and so people want to leave it behind which is fine and dandy. Sadly leaving the mess behind will not solve everything toxic problems have a way of effecting many eventually. A messed up community has a way of affect everyone in some way, shape or form. Like a tsunami, crimes waves doesn’t just affect one area only, it ends up effecting a lot of innocent people. Just something to think about.

All parents have to do their part to ensure that wrong parenting decisions doesn’t become problematic for others. No matter how old our children get they are still ours. They are a reflection of us. So whether we spoiled them as a way to compensate for an absentee father and doing so they developed a feeling of entitlement. Or rewarding children constantly for no reason regardless of bad behavior. Every choice has consequences that can reap good or bad harvests.

Somewhere along the way in the past people have failed their children and have to be honest about it. Some have put things like men or drugs above their children scarring their children with rejection and abandonment issues. Choosing to pick their wants over their children’s needs. It’s wrong to expect children to deal with adult issues and think that they will turn out fine.

Parents are children’s first heroes, don’t ruin it by placing zero value on parenthood. It’s priceless. Being a star to our children is a blessing. So as parents we must do what it takes to make sure our children are productive people and are not damaged. We should love them enough that we make sure that we are never the reason for them having holes in their hearts. Being human is not an excuse to make careless decisions that may harm others later. Remember that one life touches another, it’s important that we raise our children in a way that they are a blessing and not a curse in other people’s lives. Everything starts at home, let’s not send our children out into the world half baked.

When is Enough, Enough?

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said that “there comes a time when silence is betrayal.” When is enough, enough? When is it best to be silent? When is it time to speak up? I started my blog to talk about the things that people think about but choose not to talk about for whatever reason.

Let me start off by saying this it doesn’t matter if you are a Christian, Muslim, Atheist, Agnostic or Whatever a person believes in!!! It’s a person’s right to believe what they choose!!! My point is that Everyone has been tested about when to speak and when to be silent.

God asked Moses to go to Pharaoh and tell him to let His People go. God had given Pharaoh many chances before sending many plagues and even the death of his son. However, Pharaoh was still stubborn. God asked Moses to speak. Guess who was attempting to stop Moses from speaking? It was Moses. Moses was afraid of speaking up. There has been many stories in the Bible where God asked people to speak up.

If God calls on a Christian to speak, they had better do it. Unless that Christian wants to end up in the belly of a whale. So no, God does not expect a Christian to be quiet all the time and to turn the other cheek. God has asked people to act and that included speaking up.

There has been times when I was going to tell people my story but God told me not to say anything and that my time for sharing my story is coming. How do I know that God told me not to say anything? He gave me confirmation. One of my Facebook friends tagged me in a post the following day of me contemplating on sharing my story. The post said “Life is meant to be Lived. Fear is not an option when you know you were sent to Fly. Understand your Power, know that you are Greatness.” This lady is on fire for God and did not know what was on my mind. God had her relay a message.God told her to reach out to me. God told her to speak. So you see God has proven His existence to me time and time again.

Earth is not Heaven so everyone isn’t going to be good but Earth isn’t hell either we still experience the beauty of flowers, butterflies, blue skies and cool breezes. I understand that there are some people here on Earth who has made our lives to be almost unbearable. But God will have our backs and He does have us speak. Yes, we are living in a society regardless of who they choose to follow for guidance, who are treacherous. Understand this jealous people who are our enemies study us more than they did for a test in school. Why? Because they see things that we don’t positive things that may threaten them. So they want to attack our character or try to attempt to have others question things. Some of our enemies pretend to know so much about us and know nothing at all. This can and has happened to anyone.

If we encounter or are in the company of people who try to silence us we have to let them go. I refuse to be need deep in scalding hot water and claim that I am shivering just to make others happy. No, I am not making people comfortable so they don’t have to deal with my pain. People who truly care won’t expect us to suffer in silence. Life is too short to not speak up just to avoid confrontation. Because guess what? At times confrontation is necessary. Escapism is a temptation because it’s an easy fix.

I have had some Christians come after me and judge especially about the kinds of music that I listen to. I have had non-Christians judge me too claiming to be all open-minded and their minds be more narrow than the side of a ruler. Encouraging people to speak but doubt everything they shared with them (behind their backs of course). People just don’t feel safe enough to share their stories especially with people who will claim it isn’t true which makes them seems like nosy people. Nosy people pretend to care in order to gain information. So we all have to be careful about sharing our life journey.

Bottom line confrontation is always going to feel uncomfortable. Sometimes we will have people tell us to be quiet even when the writing is on the wall. If it doesn’t feel right then we have to speak up. Sometimes being silent is Not the answer especially in the face of adversary. Confrontation is necessary.

The Blame Game

I see and hear a lot of black men tell black women to choose better and it’s comical. What if choosing better means being with a man who may not be the same race as me? Everyone who reads my blog knows that I talk about responsibility and accountability. I have held myself accountable for the things that have occurred in my life. I take a daily evaluation of who I am because I know that I am not above of offending anyone. However, I will not be shamed by men who most times aren’t married, have children all over the place, and down other black women who think differently from them. No, I don’t know every black man, just like how all black men don’t know all black women but they still judge us anyway. The very people who feel that my advice isn’t good enough track record isn’t so squeaky clean either.

I’m get so tired of a lot of black men telling black women to choose better when at least 72% of black children are born out of wedlock, that’s 8% away from being above average at failing to build a solid family structure. It’s harder to walk away when people are married and it shows that a man is planning to stick around. A lot of these black men spread their seed everywhere and are nowhere to be found in their children’s lives. Be a father who is in their children’s lives beyond baby and toddler stages but middle school, puberty stage, awkward stage, high school, college, and beyond. Don’t let this be you!!! Casper the friendly ghost!!!
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Single parents like myself understand the consequences of our decisions, we see it every day. We don’t need people like you reminding us about our story when you don’t have a clue about the details of our story. Don’t judge just by what you see alone even silent movies/films have subtitles. I refuse to have men who don’t pay my bills tell me about my life the only person’s opinion that I care about is the Lord Jesus Christ, He’s the one who brought my two children and I through every hardship.

Both black men and black women need to get it right, please stop trying to make it seem like it’s all our fault. Because guess what? It’s not, the numbers don’t lie. I’m so tired and no I am not bitter, I am smarter I have learned from my mistakes. Regardless of what some of you men think learning from mistakes means not choosing from the same group of men again. The probability of getting a good quality black man is a numbers thing, not a color thing, not a hurt thing, and not a bitter thing; it’s a reality thing. Check the statistics. If 72% of black children are born out of wedlock there is only 28% who are doing right so some of you black men who tell us to choose better are part of the problem too. It’s hard to choose better when there isn’t much to choose from. A lot more black men are marrying out and black couples have a low marriage rate and high divorce rate. Let that sink in really deep before you judge and give mediocre advice. It’s time for an epiphany my brothers, I had mine a long time ago. MY EYES ARE WIDE OPEN!!!

Something to Think About

My sistas! My sistas! My beautiful black sisters. The bible says that the truth shall set you free. I am about to speak the truth. Today  I was talking to one of my blood sisters and she was talking about a post that she read on Facebook. The post was by a young lady who is pregnant unmarried and the baby’s father left her. My sister’s response was that she should get over it that most black men dump black women with children every day. What has our community come to? We are becoming desensitized to being subjected to tyranny. Sistas we deserve better and our children deserve better too.

I don’t bash black men but you know what the good ones aren’t saying anything to the bad ones. A lot of black men love to call themselves correcting black women but it’s more like putting us down. Black men put a condom on stop bring babies into the world that you make up excuses for neglecting. Stop sleeping with women who you know that you are Not going to marry. Black men stop degrading black women. Black men stop making up excuses for why you guys abuse black women. Stop complaining about black women not being feminine enough we can’t be soft when we are placed into a hard place. It’s hard to be vulnerable when we have to be in constant defense mode. Many black women are leaders of the household and God did Not intend for it to be that way.

My sistas many of you are educated, strong, brave, beautiful etc. You deserve happiness, faithfulness and loyalty. Happy marriages and relationships doesn’t consist of drama, heartache and struggle. Seek more and expand your horizons. You Are Worth It! Believe that!