The truth shall set us free!!! What a true saying. This video is so full of truth.
Blackfamilies
I Just Don’t Know How to Feel
I feel like the U2 song called Numb
I have a bland demeanor
I just don’t know how to feel
I wrote a post
The other day
Was it God preparing me
I spoke about
The importance of being healthy
Then boom one of my sisters
That is second to me in my family
Became sickly
My sister and I
Have very different personalities
We are not any different
Than any other siblings
She would push me
To the point where
I would scream
Then things would really get ugly
The next thing you know
We stop speaking
To each other
This last time was unique
Because when I spoke
Back to my sister
She had a surgery
That changed everything
It brought on an
Illness that made her so weak
That it robbed
Her of her speech and mobility
My sister told me
That she had a vision
Of all of her sisters
When we were young
In the backyard playing
Then she gave me an apology
She said I’m sorry
That I have been so mean
I love you with all of my heart
Then she started crying
And asked God
Why are You punishing me?
I think about Christianity
Christians are still
Human beings
Is it right
For us to except
People being mean?
I always try
To be forgiving
I feel so torn
Do I stand up
And demand respect
For all the times
She made me upset
Or do I allow
This situation to teach me
To not waste time
On stupid things
Because time is the most
Valuable thing that you can
Share with someone
That you love deeply
I love my sisters
So much I just
Want us to live to be elderly
I just want us to live carefree
I just want us to be happy
Father God in Heaven
Please allow my prayers
To be
My heart can’t take
Anymore agony
Like a Sister
We see it on television or social media every day a person who was considered to be a sister who betrayed another in the worse way. Is there any true sisterhood anymore? Are there any loyal sisters today?
It’s all about the respect and the value that people choose to place on things like friendships, relationships, marriages, and yes sisterhood.
I saw a beautiful post and it’s so how I am. The post said ” I am a woman’s woman and a faithful friend. I won’t run off with your man. I won’t hate you because you’re beautiful. I’ll celebrate your success as my own. I’ll keep your secrets and listen to your rants. I choose my friends carefully and if I choose you, I’ll love you like a sister.
I don’t take pleasure in pulling other sisters down. No matter where I am in life through my highs and lows I am never stingy with a compliment. If a sister has lost weight, a new place, new hair-do I will tell her, that I am proud, that she’s beautiful. Never will I undermine a sister’s accomplishment she deserves her props. One thing I don’t do and that’s jock another sister’s style, I am a confident woman I don’t constantly need the spotlight.
This world is already wicked and filled with heartless hateful people. Being negative is easy to do, seeing the best in people can be hard if we focus on the bad things only. There is peace in positivity.
Being mean and fault finding all the time isn’t healthy it’s good to have awareness of the negative people and situations. However, it’s good to enjoy things as well as people that come along.
I choose to believe that there are still good people and that means sisters of every color. Flowers bloom together, they don’t compete because each has their own unique beauty. I’m keeping faith about true sisterhood. It exists.
Half Baked
There once was a lady who I used to associate with who said something so profound. She said that “she was tired of a lot of black mothers sending their sons out into the world half baked expecting girlfriends and wives to finish baking them.” I never forgot her words. She said the words out of frustration due to the problems she was having out of her boyfriend at the time. He was always lying and cheating. The man was just an irresponsible person who cared nothing about his actions or the hurt that he inflicted upon others.
The one thing that I have learned from my criminal mind’s class is that everything starts at home. Most times, the foundation of a serial killer’s dysfunction is unhealthy home life. No, I am not justifying killing, I am pointing out how powerful family is. Jeffrey Dahmer’s mother abandoned him, Charles Manson’s mother rejected him, and the Son of Sam’s birth mother rejected him as well.
The sad thing about the black community is that dysfunction is the “norm” for some people. People have developed a high tolerance for toxic behavior, even finding it entertaining. People can’t complain about what’s going on in the community yet enjoy watching the same situations on television or jam to degrading lyrics to a song on the radio. Sza’s song “The Weekend” is okay to bob your head to until the woman who’s sharing the man is you. Heck!!! Some women are okay with sharing a man and not understanding that they deserve a man who will love them so much that he is faithful. Many young black women come from broken homes, so they weren’t taught about their worth.
No one wants to stay in a place that is filled with dysfunction, and so people want to leave it behind, which is fine and dandy. Sadly leaving the mess behind will not solve everything toxic problems have a way of effecting many eventually. A messed up community has a way of effect everyone in some way, shape, or form. Like a tsunami, crimes waves doesn’t just affect one area only; it ends up affecting a lot of innocent people — just something to think about.
All parents have to do their part to ensure that their wrong parenting decisions don’t become problematic for others. No matter how old our children get, they are still ours. They are a reflection of us. So whether we spoiled them as a way to compensate for an absentee father and doing so, they developed a feeling of entitlement. Or they are rewarding children constantly for no reason regardless of bad behavior. Every choice has consequences that can reap good or bad harvests.
Somewhere along the way in the past, people have failed their children and have to be honest about it. Some have put things like men or drugs above their children, scarring their children with rejection and abandonment issues and choosing to pick their wants over their children’s needs. It’s wrong to expect children to deal with adult issues and think that they will turn out fine.
Parents are children’s first heroes, don’t ruin it by placing zero value on parenthood. It’s priceless. Being a star to our children is a blessing. So as parents, we must do what it takes to make sure our children are productive people and are not damaged. We should love them enough that we make sure that we are never the reason for them having holes in their hearts. Being human is not an excuse to make hasty decisions that may harm others later. Remember that one life touches another, it’s essential that we raise our children in a way that they are a blessing and not a curse in other people’s lives. Everything starts at home, let’s not send our children out into the world half baked.
When is Enough, Enough?
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said that “there comes a time when silence is a betrayal.” When is enough, enough? When is it best to be silent? When is it time to speak up? I started my blog to talk about the things that people think about but choose not to talk about for whatever reason.
Let me start by saying this; it doesn’t matter if you are a Christian, Muslim, Atheist, Agnostic or Whatever a person believes in!!! It’s a person’s right to believe what they choose!!! My point is that Everyone has been tested about when to speak and when to be silent.
God asked Moses to go to Pharaoh and tell him to let His People go. God had given Pharaoh many chances before sending many plagues and even the death of his son. However, Pharaoh was still stubborn. God asked Moses to speak. Guess who was attempting to stop Moses from speaking? It was Moses. Moses was afraid of speaking up. There have been many stories in the Bible, where God asked people to speak up.
If God calls on a Christian to speak, they had better do it; unless that Christian wants to end up in the belly of a whale. So no, God does not expect a Christian to be quiet all the time and to turn the other cheek. God has asked people to act, and that included speaking up.
There have been times when I was going to tell people my story, but God told me not to say anything and that my time for sharing my story is coming. How do I know that God told me not to say anything? He gave me confirmation. One of my Facebook friends tagged me in a post the following day of me contemplating on sharing my story. The post said, “Life is meant to be Lived. Fear is not an option when you know you were sent to Fly. Understand your Power; know that you are Greatness.” This lady is on fire for God and did not know what was on my mind. God had her relay a message. God told her to reach out to me. God told her to speak. So you see God has proven His existence to me time and time again.
Earth is not Heaven, so everyone isn’t going to be good, but Earth isn’t hell either we still experience the beauty of flowers, butterflies, blue skies and cool breezes. I understand that there are some people here on Earth who has made our lives to be almost unbearable. But God will have our backs, and He does have us speak. Yes, we are living in a society regardless of who they choose to follow for guidance, who are treacherous. Understand these jealous people who are our enemies study us more than they did for a test in school. Why? Because they see things that we don’t positive things that may threaten them. So they want to attack our character or try to attempt to have others question things. Some of our enemies pretend to know so much about us and know nothing at all. This can and has happened to anyone.
If we encounter or are in the company of people who try to silence us, we have to let them go. I refuse to need deep in scalding hot water and claim that I am shivering to make others happy. No, I am not making people comfortable, so they don’t have to deal with my pain. People who genuinely care won’t expect us to suffer in silence. Life is too short not to speak up to avoid confrontation. Because guess what? At times confrontation is necessary. Escapism is a temptation because it’s an easy fix.
I have had some Christians come after me and judge especially about the kinds of music that I listen to. I have had non-Christians judge me too claiming to be all open-minded and their minds be more narrow than the side of a ruler. Encouraging people to speak but doubt everything they shared with them (behind their backs of course). People don’t feel safe enough to share their stories, especially with people who will claim it isn’t true, which makes them seems like nosy people. Nosy people pretend to care to gain information. So we all have to be careful about sharing our life journey.
Bottom line confrontation is always going to feel uncomfortable. Sometimes we will have people tell us to be quiet even when the writing is on the wall. If it doesn’t feel right, then we have to speak up. Sometimes being silent is Not the answer, especially in the face of adversary. Confrontation is necessary.
The Blame Game
I see and hear a lot of black men tell black women to choose better, and it’s comical. What if choosing better means being with a man who may not be the same race as me? Everyone who reads my blog knows that I talk about responsibility and accountability. I have held myself accountable for the things that have occurred in my life. I take a daily evaluation of who I am because I know that I am not above of offending anyone. However, I will not be shamed by men who most times aren’t married, have children all over the place, and down other black women who think differently from them. No, I don’t know every black man, just like how all black men don’t know all black women, but they still judge us anyway. The very people who feel that my advice isn’t good enough track record isn’t so squeaky clean either.
I’m getting so tired of a lot of black men telling black women to choose better when at least 72% of black children are born out of wedlock, that’s 8% away from being above average at failing to build a solid family structure. It’s harder to walk away when people are married, and it shows that a man is planning to stick around. A lot of these black men spread their seed everywhere and are nowhere to be found in their children’s lives. Be a father who is in their children’s lives beyond baby and toddler stages but middle school, puberty stage, awkward stage, high school, college, and beyond. Don’t let this be you; Casper the friendly ghost!!!
Single parents like myself understand the consequences of our decisions; we see it every day. We don’t need people like you reminding us about our story when you don’t have a clue about the details of our story. Don’t judge just by what you see alone, even silent movies/films have subtitles. I refuse to have men who don’t pay my bills tell me about my life the only person’s opinion that I care about is the Lord Jesus Christ; He’s the one who brought my two children and me through every hardship.
Both black men and black women need to get it right; please stop trying to make it seem like it’s all our fault. Because guess what? It’s not; the numbers don’t lie. I’m so tired, and no, I am not bitter, I am smarter I have learned from my mistakes. Regardless of what some of you men think learning from mistakes means not choosing from the same group of men again. The probability of getting a good quality black man is a numbers thing, not a color thing, not a hurt thing, and not a bitter thing; it’s a reality. Check the statistics. If 72% of black children are born out of wedlock there is only 28% who are doing right so some of you black men who tell us to choose better are part of the problem too. It’s hard to choose better when there isn’t much to choose from. A lot more black men are marrying out, and black couples have a low marriage rate and high divorce rate. Let that sink in really deep before you judge and give mediocre advice. It’s time for an epiphany my brothers, I had mine a long time ago. MY EYES ARE WIDE OPEN!!!
Something to Think About
My sistas! My sistas! My beautiful black sisters. The bible says that the truth shall set you free. I am about to speak the truth. Today I was talking to one of my blood sisters and she was talking about a post that she read on Facebook. The post was by a young lady who is pregnant unmarried and the baby’s father left her. My sister’s response was that she should get over it that most black men dump black women with children every day. What has our community come to? We are becoming desensitized to being subjected to tyranny. Sistas we deserve better and our children deserve better too.
I don’t bash black men but you know what the good ones aren’t saying anything to the bad ones. A lot of black men love to call themselves correcting black women but it’s more like putting us down. Black men put a condom on stop bring babies into the world that you make up excuses for neglecting. Stop sleeping with women who you know that you are Not going to marry. Black men stop degrading black women. Black men stop making up excuses for why you guys abuse black women. Stop complaining about black women not being feminine enough we can’t be soft when we are placed into a hard place. It’s hard to be vulnerable when we have to be in constant defense mode. Many black women are leaders of the household and God did Not intend for it to be that way.
My sistas many of you are educated, strong, brave, beautiful etc. You deserve happiness, faithfulness and loyalty. Happy marriages and relationships doesn’t consist of drama, heartache and struggle. Seek more and expand your horizons. You Are Worth It! Believe that!
Happy Father’s Day
It’s not easy being a single parent, it’s something that no-one signs up for. Parenting isn’t about just the easy stuff like picking something from out the refrigerator for the children to eat or taking them to the park. Parenting is about the hard stuff too like staying up all night when a child gets sick or for me helping your autistic son to understand what puberty is. Indeed, parenting can become a frustrating job at times and some mothers want to claim father’s day too.
Believe it or not there are a lot of excellent fathers who are in their children’s lives. Some fathers are still with the mothers of their children and are a positive entity. There are fathers who weathered the storm of the ups and downs in a relationship or marriage. There are also fathers who aren’t with the mothers of their children but his presence is still felt. There are fathers who don’t only see their children on holidays but often. There are fathers who take their children to school who knows their children favorite foods and colors. There are fathers who are making memories with their children not just making children who dream of seeing them. There are fathers who don’t just pay child support and feel that’s enough. There are fathers who put their children first and it stays that way regardless of whatever happens.
There are fathers who want to see their children but can’t. There are fathers who are single parents too. Is it really okay to rob the excellent fathers of their day because some of the mothers are in their feelings? Mothers day is in May. Father’s day is in June. Single parents day is in March we must understand the difference. Happy Father’s day to all of the great fathers around the world you are appreciated truly. Blessings!
Am I Asking For Too Much?
The purpose of my blog is to discuss things that no one wants to talk about. What I am doing is not very popular but I am fine with that. In my opinion everyone has some knowledge that’s useful in one way or another. Even a fool is right sometimes just like a broken clock has the right time twice a day. All it takes is for us to empty out the noise that in our minds that at times helps to cloud our perspective of things.
I consider myself to be a pretty open-minded. I will give anyone a chance still there are situations that cannot be ignored, like dead beat fathers. I always speak up for the good fathers because they are some. Let me give a description of what I feel is a good father:
He’s there for his children
He understand that money isn’t more important than his time
He’s love for his children is not limited
Regardless of what is going on with the mother of the children it doesn’t impact his relationship with his children
He understands balance and does it well
The word bashing isn’t a part of his vocabulary because he is responsible
He doesn’t hold pity parties
We all strive to be more and a parent should never cut their children short of anything especially love. None of us wants to be the reason for creating a damaged child because they grow up into messed up adults. I am really tired of dead fathers getting upset because people speak on the things that they aren’t doing. It’s time to stop making excuses for the choices that you made being a parent is a two way street. Dead beat fathers stop contributing to the dysfunction in the black community if you didn’t have a father then be the dad that you never had.
We Are Beautiful
Recently everywhere I turn
I see men of different races
Including my very own
Making it seem like
Black women are the least desirable
Men like Chris Rock and
Steve Harvey speaking about
The kinds of men who love us
I can’t take it anymore
Our black is beautiful
Every day many of us struggle
With situations that
We should not have to endure alone
We are mothers
Who are also filling in as
The role of father
This situation has gotten old
The worse part is when we
Are made to feel like
We are somehow responsible
For receiving the hurt
That we don’t deserve
It’s so absurd
One of the stupidest things
That I have ever heard
There’s a 72% percentage
Of absentee fathers
Look at the numbers
These men choose
To not be bothered
It doesn’t take a math whiz
Or a rocket scientist
Last time I checked
It takes a man and a woman
To make a baby
Is there any other ways
I’ll wait
Lord knows that I am a Christian
I always turn the other cheek constantly
Most black women are forgiving
About the situations that helps
Many of us to feel incomplete
Dealing with things like certain men
Who are filled with deceit that cheat
Lacking the understanding as to
Why some men would rather mistreat
Good women in a heartbeat
As if it would kill them to
Commit faithfully
In spite of black women circumstances
Defeat is not a part of our vocabulary
We always push ourselves hard
Like a star athlete
There’s a lot more to us
Than what people think
I’m telling you right now
On us don’t sleep
We are constantly striving and evolving
Every word that I speak
Is concrete
I can produce receipts
Say what you want about me
Turn up the heat
I will not surrender or retreat
Can’t continue to listen
To all of the bull
Like how some of the wounds
Of black women
Are self-inflicted
I just don’t understand it
I do know that black women
Are over being taken for granted
As well as being blamed for this
Got me like
Alanis Morrissette
Isn’t it ironic
Don’t you think
Some black men
Speak of wanting black women
To hold them down
When they have nothing
Yet when some of them get on
Their feet
They treat their women and
Very own children
Like pot holes in a street
Then have the nerve
To question why we are angry
Really?
Please
Spare me
After awhile all of this becomes
So annoying
Some of you have no concept
Of loyalty
As long as black women
Are going along with the program
Everything is hunky-dory
However once we wake up
And stand up things are
A different story
Oh and don’t get me
Talking about the subject of dating
Black men was the first to
Put cream in their coffee
This is after slavery
At least that’s what mother
Used to tell me
May her beautiful soul
Rest in peace
If black women
Date outside of their race
Immediately we are accused
Of self-hate
In addition making it seem
As if men of other races
See us as mere fetishes
Like we are nothing
More than sex objects
I’m so sick of the disrespect
When will you guys open your eyes
And realize that
When our community is hurting
No one benefits
And no wins
Because we all suffer in the end
Things comes back in a full spin
I won’t stop talking about this
It’s a promise
Like Mc Hammer
I’m too legit to quit
Refusing to conform
To what seems to be the norm
Because it’s awful
Black women we deserve love
Beyond measure
We are a treasure
Keep in mind that love has no color
This mindset opens up our options more
Always remember this number
One thing and that is our value
Is not found in negative
People’s words
Black women are powerful
Even when we stand alone
We are so strong
Black women we are beautiful
Be Lifted 