The Child Support Hustle

Oh, do it. Oh, do it Do it. Do the hustle, do the hustle. Do the hustle, do the hustle. Do the hustle. Oh, do it. Oh, do it. Do it. Do the child support hustle. I’m sorry but I just couldn’t resist because it’s so funny to me how some men can come up with anything excuse as an attempt to dodge their responsibilities. Anyway I hear lots of guys call child support a woman’s hustle. Like dude you guys cannot be serious. Are you?
I’ve heard some guys say to women for them to “choose better” when they get involved with a guy. As if I guy is going to introduce himself like “Hello my name is loser. I’m going to sell you a bunch of dreams, impregnate you and be a dead beat father.” Oh if only things were that simple there would be less broken homes.
As I always say that I don’t put black men down but I am not making excuses for the ones who are not right either. We have to call a spade out when we see one. There are some men who get a woman pregnant to tie her down. There are some men who pay child support but don’t want to be a father to their children. There are some men who don’t want to pay child support nor be a father to their children either. What boggles me is that must people in the black community have come from broken homes. Why don’t people in the community want to break the chain of broken homes instead of adding more links? We’ve seen what’s it’s like to grow up in a broken home and we know as well as understand the pain.
I get so tired of guys calling child support a hustle. Like a woman didn’t make a child alone and yeah don’t forget dude it’s your responsibility regardless. I don’t receive child support for my two sons by the way and  I won’t touch that subject…for now anyway. Attacking black mothers isn’t going to change the fact that a man has to pay child support. Most times when a woman takes child support out on the father he was given many opportunities to do right but he didn’t.
No woman want to go through going to court to make a father do what is right. Think about it when a father gets behind on child support the child gets like really nothing. So who’s losing here? The child. If you ask me it’s some of these fathers running a hustle because they are skipping out on their responsibilities. Some of these fathers need to bust a move and take care of their children or just use protection. It’s just that simple.

Check Out the Lyrics

This is one of my favorite songs by Sade which is quite appropriate with the way I’ve been feeling lately.

“Keep Looking”

Some will tell you that you’re wrong
You do it all the wrong way
Some will tell you that you’re wrong
That you don’t know the way
They enjoy cheapness
Don’t show your weakness
Don’t let them bother you no
They enjoy the cheapness
Don’t show your weakness
Oh no

It’s no use sitting down
Don’t walk round with a frown
Oh no (aah) keep looking
It’s no use sitting around
With your head in your hands
Oh no keep looking

Say let my life alone

Some will tell you that you’re wrong
You do it all the wrong way
Some will tell you that you’re wrong
That you don’t know the way

They enjoy cheapness
Don’t show your weakness
Don’t let them bother you no
They enjoy the cheapness
Don’t show your weakness
Oh no

It’s no use sitting down
Don’t walk round with a frown
Oh no (aah) keep looking
It’s no use sitting around
With your head in your hands
Oh no keep looking

Oooh
Aah
Keep looking
Oooh
Aah
Keep looking

Don’t lay awake at night
Thinking about your worries
Thinking about your problems
Don’t lay awake at night
Thinking about your worries
Keep looking
Don’t lay awake at night
Thinking about your problems
Thinking about your troubles
Don’t lay awake at night
Thinking about your problems
Keep looking

Keep looking

If you never let it show
They’re never gonna know
Aah Aah
Keep looking

If you never let it show
They’re never gonna know
Aah Aah
Keep looking

Don’t Be A Fool Being A Bully Isn’t Cool

Today I read a very disturbing post an eleven year old girl committed suicide. The little girl was a victim of bullying. Even more heartbreaking about the story was who found her body it was her three year old sister. The little girl who committed suicide saw no way out except for taking her life. Bullies are a huge situation that should not be ignored. Children aren’t the only bullies adults can be too which is actually sadder. There are different types of bullying it’s important that we know what they are so we can spot them.

typesOfBullying-02

Bullying affect people in negative ways it can push people to the point of no return. Children deserve to experience a happy life that’s bully free. I feel sorry for the bullies too hurt people hurt others. Many times bullies feel insecurities inside so they pick on other people. Bullies most times are bigger than their peers physically and have trouble at home.

Society really has things stacked up against parents with the internet, promotion of violence and disrespect of others it’s a lot for parents to monitor. I’m old schooled so the main thing I would tell another parents is to keep a open line of communication with your children. Pay attention to your children so you can notice if they are withdrawn, angry or sad remember children are very scared when it comes to a bullying situation. Parents should talk with their children’s teacher if they sense a problem. Teachers must report any problems to the principal or the dean most importantly inform the parents about everything.

I also touched on adults sometimes being bullies too because it’s the truth many of them use social media to publicly humiliate others. When it comes to adult bullies others should not back what they are doing causing them to stop. Bullies feed of the power off of having an audience and fear. Let’s make this clear one is a fool if they think being a bully is cool. If you are a bully who is an adult you are a even bigger fool… so grow up.

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Let’s pray for people who are being bullied and ask God to protect them from harm. Be a bully nor quietly observing mistreatment of another person is not cool. What if it was you? What would  you do? What would you want to see happen?

Check Out the Lyrics

“J.I.F.E.”

[Verse 1:]
I opened up my eyes to the world and I see
They got a lot of guns and they aimin’ at me
‘Cause they say I love the church, I don’t care about the streets
That’s so far from the truth, why they lyin’ on me?
I’m where I’m supposed to be, tryna play my role
Staying faithful to the gospel, seen a lot of growth
Been a lot of testimonies all around the globe
And I ain’t braggin’, that’s from rapping ’bout what God has spoke
It used to be a gift, now it’s criticized
If my heart is for the church, why is this a crime?
Whatever happened to the days when the minister’s pride
Was speaking life into the body? I’m a bit surprised, better recognize

[Hook:]
Looking at the church, got my eyes on the streets
Looking at the world with their eyes on me
What they talkin’ ’bout, huh?
Jesus Is For Everybody… huh
Jesus Is For Everybody
Looking at the poor, got my eyes on the rich
Looking at the trap boys and the life of a prince
What they talkin’ ’bout, huh?
Jesus Is For Everybody… huh
Jesus Is For Everybody

[Verse 2:]
I open up my eyes to the church and I see
Them automatic weapons and they’re aiming at me
They say I’m preaching to the choir, people dyin’ in the streets
You’d be preaching to them too if you’ve seen them lately
No doubt is in my mind, it’s making perfect sense
Am I doing something wrong talking to the saints?
I’m just giving them my all, and I’m in my own skin
While I’m building up the body walking in his grace
While I’m talking to the church, I hope they overhear
We want the whole world to know we over here
I’m talking from the lawyers and the doctors to the corners with the choppers
To the homies in the barber chair, my whole career

[Hook:]
Looking at the church, got my eyes on the streets
Looking at the world with their eyes on me
What they talkin’ ’bout, huh?
Jesus Is For Everybody… huh
Jesus Is For Everybody
Looking at the poor, got my eyes on the rich
Looking at the trap boys and the life of a prince
What they talkin’ ’bout, huh?
Jesus Is For Everybody… huh?
Jesus Is For Everybody

[Verse 3:]
Just for a moment can I stand in my own defense?
I had a brief talk with Kanye West
Dealing with Nick Cannon, only told my friends
The issue with Tech N9ne, a little more complex
Now I can tell you’re impressed, I’m talking with the stars
What good is that if I don’t speak to security guards?
Something’s wrong with my maturity, charity’s flaw
‘Cause I ain’t speakin’, man this whole family is lost
I guess the moral of the story is
Jesus Christ came for the notorious, and the saint
Grace for the less glorious, and the fame
Understand where the glory is, it’s in his name

[Hook:]
Looking at the church, got my eyes on the streets
Looking at the world with their eyes on me
What they talkin’ ’bout, huh?
Jesus Is For Everybody… huh?
Jesus Is For Everybody
Looking at the poor, got my eyes on the rich
Looking at the trap boys and the life of a prince
What they talkin’ ’bout, huh?
Jesus Is For Everybody… huh?
Jesus Is For Everybody

The Art of Forgiveness

The moment a person hurts me
I forgive
The moment a person uses me
I forgive
The moment a person judges me
I forgive
The moment a person breaks my heart
I forgive
The moment a person disappoint me
I forgive
The moment the person betrays me
I forgive
The moment that a person makes me
Feel anything else besides positive
I forgive
If a person does these things to me
I develop an understanding
Rather what was done to me was done
Purposely or not
I choose to forgive
The moment that I forgive my peace
Begins and my pain ends
Forgiveness is a process
Don’t know if it can ever be perfected
It’s hard to forget
About a messed up situation
Especially when most of the time
The biggest test of forgiveness
Is forgiving a person who caused pain
That came from a person whom
Was trusted the most
Betrayal rarely comes from a stranger
Forgiveness isn’t holding on to grudges
It’s letting go of them
Besides the person doesn’t know or care
About the trouble that they caused
We all need a lesson
It’s a two way street
We all at one point has hurt someone
Purposely or unintentionally
All we can do is ask for forgiveness
You can’t push it
If we do
That means we are only thinking of ourselves
We want to be free of guilt
When we do wrong we must deal with
It and respect a person’s space
Closure may mean losing a person without a trace
Just be thankful for God’s grace
Many times that has to be enough

Seeing the Gold

The internet can be a crazy place. We see true stuff, fake news as Trump calls it and lots of added on stuff. The internet can be a world filled with gossip. Recently I wrote about reading a book called The Woman Code in it the author of the book ninth code was Do not gossip. The Bible talks about gossip a lot one doesn’t have to be a Christian to realize how badly gossip can affect a person’s life. I know that I don’t want to gossip or indulge in it either. I wouldn’t like to be lied on. Gossip causes a lot of damage most of it cannot be undone. Proverbs 16:28 A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.

Let’s think about it what are some reasons why men and women gossip about a person or people? Let’s be honest most times gossip are lies. I mean why else would the person who’s spreading the gossip tell a person not to tell anyone? Why won’t the person who’s doing the gossiping tell the person whom they are gossiping about directly? Hmmmmm….sounds suspect to me and I’m not Lieutenant Columbo. “One more thing sir…”

Angry people use the internet to publicly humiliate others they are nothing more than keyboard gangsters who hides behind the screen…a bunch of trolls who belong under a bridge in some land far far away. Yeah I said it! They don’t have any facts but lots of lies. So if you talk behind a fool one will sound like one.

We all should know better than to take anything on the internet as facts. Right now I am taking a Statistic course. Last week I turned in an assignment and had points deducted from me because she said that  I needed to support my work with facts…..allow that to sink in. I have had people tell lies about me I knew why they were angry with me some still are. Once people stop talking to you they start talking about you. Our enemies are nothing more than estranged family members, formal associates,or formal friends. Think about it if a person is no longer speaking to another person anymore how true is their information. Example if a person is still gossiping about someone after a long period of time and have not been in contact with the person how accurate are their words? Why would a person continue to gossip about a someone whom they no longer speak to? Just something to think about.

I always try to be Christ like and try to put myself in other people’s shoes. If  I were to see something on the internet about someone  I would question the person who wrote it. Gossip is something that an angry person does so I would wonder why they are doing that. Not everything we read or find on the internet is true. Beyonce went to dinner last night now her photo has been made into a meme already no telling what they say. People make up memes, create rumors, and twist things around to cause division, turn people against each other,and fuel hate. People who gossip about someone else does it in hopes of hurting the people whom they are talking about and isolating them from others by attempting to turn people off from that person. As a Christian I pray for discernment I don’t want to share or spread lies about a person on social media otherwise I would have to question my character as well as why would  I want to put faith in angry words.

When we assassinate the character of others we inescapably annihilate our own in the process. We become no better than whatever we’re saying about another. The soul is better fed with words that speak life and hope.

I don’t know about anyone else but I’d rather be a peacemaker I don’t want to play a role in causing the flames of gossip to grow higher I rather put them out. Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

My Name Is Gossip.
I have no respect for justice.
I maim without killing.
I break hearts and ruin lives.
I am cunning and malicious and gather strength with age.

The more I am quoted the more I am believed.
I flourish at every level of society.
My victims are helpless.
They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name and no face.

To track me down is impossible.
The harder you try, the more elusive I become.
I am nobody’s friend.
Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same.
I topple governments and ruin marriages.
I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartache and indigestion.
I spawn suspicion and generate grief.

I make innocent people cry in their pillows.
Even my name hisses.

I AM CALLED GOSSIP.

Father God help me to have control over my words and to see the gold in others.

Proverbs 11:27

27 He that diligently seeketh good procureth favour: but he that seeketh mischief, it shall come unto him.

A New Thing

I’m a creature of habit. I have always hated change up until recently anyway. Change is not always a bad thing it can be a good thing. The Bible spoke of doing a new thing in the Old Testament in Isaiah.

When God closes a door you best believe that He’s opening a new one. So whether you see a open door praise God anyway He always has our backs. The same God that made ways in the past still does it now and forever. It’s okay to move on and not look back God has something for us to look forward to. I believe this truly because He’s shown me so many times I’m not worried. Nothing will steal my joy there’s nothing or no-one more powerful than God. I can’t want to see everything that God has in store. So let go and let God.

Isaiah 43:18-19

18 Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.

19 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.

Check Out the Lyrics

As we all know music is powerful. The other day a person that I follow on YouTube made some interesting points about the song No Pain No Gain by Betty Wright. People of my generation grew up listening to that song. In my opinion the song can be looked at from two different ways obviously. The song no pain no gain was a popular song. Anyway the person on YouTube felt that the song had an negative effect on women. Basically the song encourages women to take bull crap from men. I have to admit that she has a point.

I have decided to share lyrics from songs on my blog to check the meaning. Here are the lyrics to No Pain No Gain by Betty Wright. Are the lyrics uplifting or do they keep women in bad relationships? Isn’t love about give and take? When is enough a enough in a relationship? There will be ups and downs in every relationship. Hmmmm.

“No Pain, No Gain”

Ooh…ooh…ooh…

My baby and are back together again
Lovin’ is better than it’s ever been
If it weren’t for the trials we’ve been through
I’d never have the courage to come back to you

We’re all entitled to make a mistake
We got to prepare for some heartbreak
I as earnin’ my man, while I was learnin’ my man
Something you young girls might not understand

No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain), no
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

There was an old lady sittin’ under a tree
She called me over and she said to me
“My days left here may not be long
I wouldn’t waste my time tellin’ you nothin’ wrong

But love is a flower that needs the sun and the rain
A little bit of pleasure’s worth a whole lot of pain
If you learn this secret, how to forgive
A longer and better life you’ll live’

No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain), mmm
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

Anything worth havin’ at all
Is worth workin’ for and waitin’ for
Some of my closest friends
Have thought they had their thing on a string
Just ’cause that man was bringin’ ’em flowers and candy and all kinds of gifts
Mmm, mmm, honey
Some gifts are just to make him feel better while he’s on his guilt trip
About the night before
You know what I mean
Especially when you know you haven’t been doin’ the things you should do
Think about it
What is the man tryin’ to tell you
Sometimes flowers mean “Maybe we should just be friends’
Do you get my drift
Hang if you can hang
No pain, no gain

In order to get something
You got to give something
In order to be something
You got to go through something

Be a cook in the kitchen, a lady in the streets
You can’t show your teeth to every guy you meet
It’s alright to be a little sweet
But be a mama with the kids and you know what in the sheets

No pain (No pain)
No pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

See, you can’t give up ’cause times get hard
It’s just that old evil devil trying to keep us apart
Say devil you ain’t getting nothin’ here
I’m holding on to my man and have no fear

No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain), oh
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

See you can’t give up ’cause times get hard
It’s just that old devil tryin’ keep us apart
Say devil, you ain’t got nothin’ here
I’m holdin’ to my man, and have no fear

No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)
No-no pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

Oh, no pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)
No-no-no-no pain (No pain, no pain), no-no-no-no-no-no-no pain (No gain)
No-no pain, no-no pain (No pain), no-no pain (No pain), no pain (No gain), no pain

No pain (No pain, no pain, no gain)
In order to get something (No pain), give something (No pain)
To be something (No gain) you got to go through something
(No pain, no pain, no gain)

Oh…no pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)
No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no (No pain)
No-no-no-no (No pain, no gain)

No…no pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)
You’re really not to gain anything (No pain, no pain)
Without (No gain) goin’ through some pain

No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No-no (No gain)

(No pain, no pain, no gain)
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No pain (No gain), no gain, no pain, no gain

Get something (No pain, no pain)
You got to go through something (No gain)
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

Hear me when I say no pain, no gain (No pain), no pain, no gain (No pain)
No pain, no gain (No gain)

Skeletons in Your Closet

My mother loved music one song that she used to play a lot was called Skeletons by Stevie Wonder. The beat to that song Skeletons was everything!! Anyway the lyrics went:

Skeletons in your closest

Itchin’ to come outside

Messin’ with your conscience

In a way your face can’t hide

Well you see where I am going with this. We all have skeletons in our closet still God has forgiven us. No one should be walking around with a heavy heart behind past events that God has already forgiven us for. Don’t allow anyone to make you feel guilty about your past because that isn’t cool. Especially when people don’t know you or your story. We have to get rid of people who are quick to judge and slow to love.

In my opinion when we can’t move on from past mistakes it robs us of our present. Our present is a gift. I don’t care how many bones a person has in their closet whether it’s enough to make a human skeleton or a dinosaur museum. Who are we to judge? A person of the world reminds a person of their past a real Christian knows better than to do that. Everyone has skeletons and everyone has a story that they don’t want to read aloud.

So don’t allow the devil, your guilt, your enemies, or anybody to make you feel guilty about what you and God has already worked out. Life is too short to worry about unpaid critics that feel that they have a right to judge your life. What did Jesus tell the woman who was caught in adultery? What did Jesus say to the Pharisees who was about to stone her? Alright enjoy the life that God has given you and be blessed!

2 Corinthians 5:17

17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

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Pray About It

There is power in prayer. There has been so much that  I have been through prayer helped me out a lot. What I have learned is if God brings you to it He’ll bring you through it.

Daniel, Nehemiah, David, Paul and even Christ prayed. Yes at times tests come along that can make things difficult still we can’t forget about all the times God brought us through. God is not a part-time God He works overtime and we see His work over time. The devil send situations that can try to make us anxious but the Bible says not to be. Sometimes God allows things to happen right away and sometimes it takes time either way God is always on time.

A couple of things that we have to have for others is empathy and compassion. We shouldn’t be so quick to tell a person to just pray about something. Yes, it’s important to pray but  I don’t want to be a person who says “just pray about it” as a way to silence a person. You don’t want to come off as being dismissive. Remember God sent that person to you for a reason so never brush a person off by saying “just pray about it”. Allow a person to vent then we pray for them after we suggest praying about a situation. Perhaps God gave you something to say as way to show the person that everything is going to be okay. I can’t tell you the number of times when I was waiting for a sign from God and a person would come with a word that was confirmation.

All I want to do on my walk with Christ is grow. I know that I have a ways to go and I am no perfect. I will stubble at times but with the power of prayer  I will be fine. Having a relationship with Christ is worth everything that comes my way because I know that everything with be okay. Thank Father God for the gift of prayer.

Matthew 6:9-13

After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.

10 Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.

11 Give us this day our daily bread.

12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.