The Love Dare

Anthony,
I decided to step back not because I don’t care about you because I do (very much so) I didn’t want to add to the confusion in your life it’s not what you need or deserve. From what you have shared with me it sounds like it’s very chaotic in your life after all this time I will touch back on that part later. There were so many times that I wanted to reach out to you, but I opted not to. Any decision that you choose should be yours alone, and no one should influence that I don’t care who the person is. What is meant to happen will find its way, and nothing or no one can stop what will be.

I am not going to preach, but I know that God is real He changed me whether you ever get to the point that you believe in Him that is entirely up to you. You have said “that all you wanted was to be able to talk to me.” it just wasn’t the right time. I admit it I was wounded, I was angry, and I was in my feelings God had to work on me it wasn’t a good time. I always felt like I had to fight for you, and I always felt like I wasn’t good enough; we both know the reasons why. Recently, I have asked you to please come to me if you have any questions about me don’t listen to anyone because messengers have motives. When someone tells you something, especially when it’s negative wonder what their motivation is because most times it’s not positive.

Anthony, when we got together, we were so very young. Once we got married, we had no guidance no one ministered to us about anything, which is why I want to counsel couples about marriage. Couples should know what real love is, so they will know how to love each other. I genuinely believe that any marriage can last; it’s what God intended; that’s why He hates divorce. All people have to do is put their egos aside and love their spouses enough. Everyone has days when they are unlovable, and that’s when the test comes in. If we can’t be real with our loved one, there is a problem; it’s imperative to allow them to be able to express their feelings. People have to understand that once a person chooses to marry them, they can’t stop learning about them because we change every day we can’t stop trying to keep their heart just because we feel that we have won it.

I want you to know that every couple has communication problems, not just us when we were a couple. Communication breakdowns will happen because people have different personalities; thus, differences will occur. People have to care about fixing the problem. Every marriage gets bland, has struggles, people get selfish, but people should never forget about the special spark that was the reason why they got married. After all, let’s be honest; no two people get married because they hate each other. Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. It’s not something that is of convenience, marriage is hard, but it’s beautiful too. When people get married, it’s for better or worse, and well we all know the rest of the vows the truth is people only focus on the good parts which is the reason why they can’t handle the hard parts once they occur.

Regardless of the situation good or bad, the Bible says that all things work together for the good. Something good will come from out of all of this, and we all will see it, respect it, accept it, and hopefully grow from it. I will not talk about the past because there is nothing that we can do about that accept grow from it. I will not attack you because I have forgiven you. I won’t fight over you or start drama because God already knows what He is going to do. Also, I know the woman that I am there is no need for all of that. All I can do is trust God. I will say this a real woman who is doing what she should do should never allow her man to ever feel uncomfortable not at our ages. I’m not saying these things because of our history but because I have gained wisdom. If a woman is laying a foundation with her man, she lets everyone know what’s up no matter who they are. She makes everyone respect him because she understands that what a man desires the most is to be respected. She knows that a man goes through enough in the world and shouldn’t have to deal with it at home too. You know why I am saying what I am saying it doesn’t matter how much a person has done for you if they care and it’s from the heart why should it matter? Unless strings are attached to what a person does, perhaps? You are not a lazy man, and you pull your weight. I pray that what I have written frees you to do what you need to do. We are grown-ups there is no room for foolish games life is entirely too short for that. I am expressing myself, and I don’t think that I am putting myself out there; I am not begging you for anything. I am putting this out here on my blog for the whole world to see. Remember, love isn’t a fight; it’s worth fighting for if it’s right. Love is also an action word. Love isn’t a guilt trip or forced; it’s given freely, it’s not a headache, and it flows without problems.

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Knowing Your Front Row

I was blessed to read this phenomenal book called The Woman Code by Sophia A. Nelson. The last time I read a book for enjoyment was a little over a year ago. The Woman Code gave me life it contains 20 important keys that a woman should apply to her life. I absolutely love the book and recommend it to any woman who’s willing to listen. Sophia is a Christian and used scriptures to support what she wrote in her book.

There was so many things about the book that I loved the main thing was knowing your front row. It’s essential to know your front row it’s what some people like to call a circle not me though. A person knowing their front row makes way more sense. It’s taking a long hard look at the people who are closest to you. The people closest to you that doesn’t live in your home. What kind of people are closest to you? Are they loyal? Are they kind? What kind of faith do they have? Does the people closest match you? People are an important resource. My mother always used to say that no man is an island everybody needs somebody even Christ had twelve disciples.

It’s important to know your front row. I want people who are honest and want the best for me as  I do them. I don’t want yes men or yes women, yes people will lead a person to water and allow them to drown. I don’t want disloyal people because the front row can poison the back rows. People will assume that everything a person says that is closest to you is accurate after all they are close to you. One mistake that I used to make besides being a people pleaser was always trying to recycle relationships with people. In life we have to let some people go especially when their time is up in our lives. Some people are either for a reason so they stay or a season so they go away.

A little bit off topic on the Walking Dead Rick wouldn’t let go of Shane. Shane had slept with his wife and got her pregnant. Shane not only poisoned Rick’s marriage but the people around them. Shane went against Rick the whole way it took Shane trying to kill Rick before he realized that the friendship was over. Sometimes we get stuck in our fantasies about people that we refuse to face the reality. I also believe that we sometimes hold on to people out of fear like will they talk about you. People will talk about you no matter what if anything holding on is giving them more information. We have to learn how to not feed the wrong people information. We have to think like Kenny Rogers got to know when to hold them, fold them and walk away. True facts!!! When a person shows you who they are believe them. When a relationship is over let it go. There’s power in letting go and pain in holding on.

I think that we have to really learn to trust God and listening to that small still voice. God will never leave us nor forsake us He promised this. I’m praying that God gives me discernment to recognize who doesn’t belong in my front row, protection from poisonous people and the strength to let the people go. I don’t want the wrong people in my front row poisoning the back row disturbing my audience.

Bittersweet

I’ve prayed about it

I’ve allowed God to handle it

I’ve made room to forgive

It’s over

It’s finally over

Now I can

Start to experience closure

Trying to describe how

I’m feeling right now

It’s like trying to describe

The taste of water

As I have gotten older

I have realized that

Trying to reflect back on memories

It’s like physically trying to look

Over your shoulder

I’m just not that flexible

I’ve tried my very best

Yet in some cases

Ended up with less

There’s no need to cry over spilled milk

There’s absolutely no sense in it

I’m still blessed regardless

I just look at things as

Life learned lessons

Many things took place

Between you and I

You have no idea

Of how many tears

That I have cried

I really tired

Deep down inside

Apart of me feels like it wants to die

Yet there’s so much

That I would like to forget

I know that you had a purpose

After all we have two great kids

Here I go again

I have to stop this

I have to begin

The healing process

I have to do it

I have strength

It’s weird still

A small part of

This situation I can’t grasp

Am I still in love

Yeah right don’t make me laugh

The way that you act

Your middle name should be

Jackass or dumbass

Because you played a huge part

Of helping to put something that

Could have been special into the past

I won’t blame you totally

I also share responsibility

This ending is bittersweet

I came across a thought

Of you I actually smiled

And I felt a tear roll down my cheek

Yet I’m fine if we never speak

You have to leave

Something behind in order

To go forward

The hardest part of moving on

Is putting the pieces

Of your broken heart back together

And be brave enough to love again

It’s finally the end

It’s a tough pill to swallow

Tough to accept that we didn’t work out

A fresh start isn’t bad

I know that God has my back

So there’s no need to be sad

The Right Fit

I was watching Forensic Files and there was a case that was solved by a person’s footprint. That’s right our footprint is just like our hand prints and finger prints, they are unique. Even our shoe prints are unique too because of our weight, the way we walk, height etc. It’s funny how just by watching a television show can make me think about God every time.

It got me to thinking about shoes. LMBO!! Now I know what you are thinking what the heck is Tameeka talking about now? Well I will tell you remember growing up when we would get a new pair of shoes and our parents would tell us that we would have to break our shoes in? New shoes always feel a little bit uncomfortable in the beginning we also have to remember that our old shoes were once new but we outgrew them. I thought of the same analogy with our walk with Christ sometimes when He places us into something new it’s just our fit we just have to break it in we will eventually. God knows what He is doing and the outcome always turns out right even if things feel a little bit tight at first.

Isaiah 55:8-9

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

So be encouraged and inspired no matter how things look like or feel. The best is yet to come. We walk by faith and not by sight. God is an awesome God.