This Time of Year

I always get sad
Around this time of year
It’s when my mother
Left from here
Let me make myself clear
When it comes to
The death of a love one
You never heal
It’s impossible to get over
Losing someone who
You held so near, so dear
To your heart
There are always
Things that remind you
That they are gone
A picture, a memory, a song
Holidays, birthdays
Every time I reached
An important moment in my life
I would whisper
This is for you mom
I often wonder
How things would be like
If she was here
What advice would
She have given me
To help to endure hardships
She was so strong
She was so courageous
She was a leader
She was a blessing
She was my hero
Which is why all
I ever wanted to do
Was to make her happy
And to see her smile
It’s still impossible
For me to talk about her
Without holding back my tears
Bottled up feelings
Resides inside even though
I live my life
As best as I can
Even after twenty-one years this Saturday
It’s still feels as if
She passed yesterday
This is why I say
If you have lost
A special someone
Don’t allow anyone
To make you feel
As if the grief process has a limit
To heck with that
Never feel bad about
Mourning the one you love
Or for missing them
The pain is for life
Death of a love one
Will always hurt


Sometimes I Wanna

Sometimes I wanna
Just listen to the guitar riffs
Of a song alone
Just so I can imagine
How the guitarist
Created it as they hummed
Guitar riffs is something that rock,
Funk and jazz music
All sometimes can share
Sometimes I wanna blare my music
As I intensely cheer
Sometimes I wanna
Listen to the strings playing on a bango
Tunes of country music with words
Of sadness and heartbreak to it
Sometimes I wanna line dance
And slap leather to the sound of a fiddle
Music brings all kinds of people together
It transcends across
The lines of racial boundaries
Sometimes I wanna just relax
And listen to Luther’s smooth soulful voice
That man could sing anything
He gave R & B true meaning
His legacy will always be
Sometimes I wanna
Hear great Hip Hop music
But not too much of the ones of today
It only makes me ponder
About the artist of yesterday
Boogie Down Production,
Public Enemy and Eric B and Rakim
Made me proud to listen to them
Sometimes I wanna hear artist
Like Phil Anselmo
And Jonathan Davis screaming
What can I say
I am a metalhead all the way
Sometimes I wanna
Hear rock artist singing
Like Chris Cornell and Jack White
There is nothing like
Listening to Steve Vai
While looking at a starry sky
It’s like I am enjoying the beauty
Of the scenes to a beautiful movie
Forgive me for being a music fan
Who gets bored easily
From hearing the same things daily
Which is good actually
Variety is the spice of life
My taste in music is one of diversity
There is nothing
Like being able to appreciate
Music from every genre
From House to Techno
From Indie Pop to Gospel
From Reggae to classical
Each one have their own special way
Of telling a story through song
That is uniquely done

Stand Alone

A marriage can be looked at like the game of chess
Chess may be a game but the strategy aka master plan
Is of something bigger
There is a lot that we all can learn
Like the chess board
It’s right in black and white
There are many people on board
That has the king’s back
They are all ready to battle
Still a king must realize
How important his queen is
There are 8 pawns
There are two rooks
There are two knights
There are two bishops
Yet one queen
The queen is the king’s protector
After everyone has fallen
After it’s all said and done
It’s the king and queen who stand alone

Happy 16th Birthday AJ

To my first born
I want you to know
That you are my pride and joy
There is nothing in this world
That I would not do for you
Today as I celebrate you
Many things comes to mind
From the time that you were born
My heart became filled with a love
Like I have never known
I embrace everything about you
Your strength, sense of humor
Loyalty and uniqueness
I appreciate our
Mother and son’s moments
No matter how sad I sometimes become
I am human days like these happen
Very few people or things can pick me up
You bring me joy like nothing
That I could ever imagine or fathom
You are one of my greatest gifts on Earth
I am in no way a perfect parent
Nor have I ever claimed to be
Still I pray to God that you will always know
How much you are loved, adored and treasured
I also pray that my actions are always crystal clear
I feel so very blessed
That God gave me you
May God bless you with birthdays
That always tops the last
I love you more than words can say
Happy 16th birthday AJ
Enjoy your day

It’s Done

You and I are no longer
The indication
Of this grows stronger
Each day that passes by
There is no need for
Making any kind
Of insinuations
Pertaining to this situation
We are both guilty
Of the demise
Of our marriage
And it’s final destination
Yours was infidelity
Which I gave you
Multiple opportunities
Like the game of baseball
You always struck out
Mines was people pleasing
Doing whatever it took
To make my family happy
Even though it left
Our finances drowning
We both fooled ourselves
About what marriage
Was about
We got it wrong
We was young
We was dumb
This is without a doubt
God may not have
Ordained our marriage
However marriage doesn’t
Have to be ordained
For it to be valid
Marriage is a covenant
Made by God
He expects a
Full commitment
When two people
Enters into it
There will be ups and downs
That’s when a couple must fight
They can’t be weak
And throw in the towel
It’s only taking
The easy way out
Once two people come
Together under the law
Of marriage that
Is suppose to be it
I’m sorry that we wasn’t
Strong enough
I’m sorry that we couldn’t
Tough it out
Or understand
The importance of marriage
I’ll accept your apology
And I pray that someday
You will accept mine
There’s always room
For an apology
As long as it’s sincere
If a heart is open
There’s always room
For forgiveness
A testimony
Will come out of this
I am not sure
How or what it will be
Over time we will see

Live Unapologetic

Time and time again
I find myself talking
About things that
Really should not
Have to be explained
However I find myself
Doing it anyway
Why is it
When it comes to black women
Wanting to live well
It becomes an issue
There should absolutely
Be no excuse
To blatantly try to devalue
Black women because
They want more
Women who don’t
Want the dead-end constant drama
Of a hood love romance
It has no positive ways out
Majority of the time
It’s not a comedy TV show
Life in the hood
Aren’t good times
There’s nothing good about it
Black women needs to know
That’s it’s okay
To rise above the madness
It’s okay to level up
Life should not always be
All Mary J. Blige
Or Erykah Badu
Jammin to R & B tunes
All while we are memorized
About being on
Emotional roller coasters
That make us want to be soldiers
Of a war that we will fight alone
As single mothers to
To deadbeat fathers
It’s a war that we can’t win
We have to stop foolin ourselves
There comes a time to
Be all EnVogue
And free our minds
Get out the matrix
Of hood life
Neo nor Morpheus
Are nowhere in sight
There’s more to life
Than just getting by to survive
It’s okay to thrive
Who wants the hustle and bustle
To heck with the struggle
It’s okay to want to escape
To live life a better way
If it’s done right a way
It’s possible to be unscaved
Who wants to contribute
To a life of poverty
To be apart of the community
With a legacy
Of broken homes
It’s time to change
What is viewed as the norm
Who wants to be a poster child
Of making the most
Of a bad situation
Making ourselves numb
To pain
That kind of life
Doesn’t produce
Anything that’s satisfactory
Think of the possibilities
Of living differently
Without being made to feel guilty
It’s time to be set free
Start on a new path
To seek a different
Kind of intimacy
Embracing the struggle
Is more like slavery
We should never settle
We are special
It’s a good thing
To aim high
To dream big
To live well
To love ourselves
To want to be loved right
There’s nothing wrong
With not wanting to live
A life of agony
Living a life of despair
Is so unfair
No one deserves that
It’s burdensome
We are under no obligation
So make freedom
Be something
That becomes contagious
Live life unapologetic
And don’t look back

I Don’t Want To

I don’t want to
Talk about a person
In the past tense
If I don’t have
A present history of praising
Them while they were alive
To do that is being fake
As President Washington once said
I cannot tell a lie
I don’t want to be
In contact with anyone
Who I have troubling complimenting
I don’t want to
Walk around with a
Heart that is full of unforgiveness
Having a heart like that is poisonous
I don’t want to have
Any dealings with people
Who has absolutely no concept
Of how precious life is
Because tomorrow is not promised
Why waste time time on hatred
Why not spend time
Working on forgiveness
And building off of one another’s strength
As we live
Why must it take
A person’s passing
For us to understand this
We have to love today
Admire today
Pray today
Hope today
Smile today
Makes someone who we care about
Day today
Life is too short
To be afraid to do
These things
So let the grudges go
Let the ego go
No one is promised tomorrow