The Love Dare

Anthony,
I decided to step back not because I don’t care about you because I do (very much so) I didn’t want to add to the confusion in your life it’s not what you need or deserve. From what you have shared with me it sounds like it’s very chaotic in your life after all this time I will touch back on that part later. There were so many times that I wanted to reach out to you, but I opted not to. Any decision that you choose should be yours alone, and no one should influence that I don’t care who the person is. What is meant to happen will find its way, and nothing or no one can stop what will be.

I am not going to preach, but I know that God is real He changed me whether you ever get to the point that you believe in Him that is entirely up to you. You have said “that all you wanted was to be able to talk to me.” it just wasn’t the right time. I admit it I was wounded, I was angry, and I was in my feelings God had to work on me it wasn’t a good time. I always felt like I had to fight for you, and I always felt like I wasn’t good enough; we both know the reasons why. Recently, I have asked you to please come to me if you have any questions about me don’t listen to anyone because messengers have motives. When someone tells you something, especially when it’s negative wonder what their motivation is because most times it’s not positive.

Anthony, when we got together, we were so very young. Once we got married, we had no guidance no one ministered to us about anything, which is why I want to counsel couples about marriage. Couples should know what real love is, so they will know how to love each other. I genuinely believe that any marriage can last; it’s what God intended; that’s why He hates divorce. All people have to do is put their egos aside and love their spouses enough. Everyone has days when they are unlovable, and that’s when the test comes in. If we can’t be real with our loved one, there is a problem; it’s imperative to allow them to be able to express their feelings. People have to understand that once a person chooses to marry them, they can’t stop learning about them because we change every day we can’t stop trying to keep their heart just because we feel that we have won it.

I want you to know that every couple has communication problems, not just us when we were a couple. Communication breakdowns will happen because people have different personalities; thus, differences will occur. People have to care about fixing the problem. Every marriage gets bland, has struggles, people get selfish, but people should never forget about the special spark that was the reason why they got married. After all, let’s be honest; no two people get married because they hate each other. Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. It’s not something that is of convenience, marriage is hard, but it’s beautiful too. When people get married, it’s for better or worse, and well we all know the rest of the vows the truth is people only focus on the good parts which is the reason why they can’t handle the hard parts once they occur.

Regardless of the situation good or bad, the Bible says that all things work together for the good. Something good will come from out of all of this, and we all will see it, respect it, accept it, and hopefully grow from it. I will not talk about the past because there is nothing that we can do about that accept grow from it. I will not attack you because I have forgiven you. I won’t fight over you or start drama because God already knows what He is going to do. Also, I know the woman that I am there is no need for all of that. All I can do is trust God. I will say this a real woman who is doing what she should do should never allow her man to ever feel uncomfortable not at our ages. I’m not saying these things because of our history but because I have gained wisdom. If a woman is laying a foundation with her man, she lets everyone know what’s up no matter who they are. She makes everyone respect him because she understands that what a man desires the most is to be respected. She knows that a man goes through enough in the world and shouldn’t have to deal with it at home too. You know why I am saying what I am saying it doesn’t matter how much a person has done for you if they care and it’s from the heart why should it matter? Unless strings are attached to what a person does, perhaps? You are not a lazy man, and you pull your weight. I pray that what I have written frees you to do what you need to do. We are grown-ups there is no room for foolish games life is entirely too short for that. I am expressing myself, and I don’t think that I am putting myself out there; I am not begging you for anything. I am putting this out here on my blog for the whole world to see. Remember, love isn’t a fight; it’s worth fighting for if it’s right. Love is also an action word. Love isn’t a guilt trip or forced; it’s given freely, it’s not a headache, and it flows without problems.

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Love With An Open Heart

Past relationships and experiences
Dictate how we interact
In future relationships
Causing us to armour up
To put our guards up
Which still allow
Past disappointments
To continue to take
Centerstage
We then
Come up with reasons
For our actions
Dress them up
By giving them different names
Whether they are referred to
As a protective layer
Or a wall
They are used in order to
Keep us from feeling
Vulnerable
Which in actuality
Keeps us from
Something that could
Potentially be special
Love requires the giving
Of oneself
Compromise and
Vulnerability
How Else will we be
Able to recognize
True love’s credibility
Then we can enjoy stability
Be set free
From past relationships
That were ugly
It’s important
For the heart to feel love
Feeling and loving is the only way
That the heart knows
Love is grounded
It accepts the imperfections
Of the person that
We love
Working through
Bad times while
Enjoying the good
Love is honesty
It gives people
The opportunity
To be themselves completely
Love is a journey
That should always
Be allowed to continue
It’s the only way
For the one that
Is for us
To find us
Life should not
Be about only surviving
Heartbreak
From past mistakes
Or merely existing
But thriving in happiness
And enjoying life
Now that’s living

The Raconteurs

Everyone on the planet Earth knows how much that I love Jack White. As 2018 started to come to a close I became completely bummed because Jack White’s tour was coming to an end. I was thinking about how much I would have to wear out the Boarding House Reach album in order to get my Jack White fix. Then news about The Raconteurs releasing an album happened, I got so excited. The best day ever occurred and SpongeBob Square Pants happiness had nothing on mine. Jack White is truly amazing. After about ten years the Raconteurs released two songs “Sunday Driver and Now That You’re Gone.” I love the song “Now That You’re Gone” the most, the guitar riffs on the song are remarkable. On top of everything, the Raconteurs will be touring too. Jack White is one of the hardest working musicians in the business.

A Personality Like Mine

I have to say that I am pretty proud of my personality. Some of the words that I would use to describe my personality are calm, balanced, compassionate, creative, loving etc. My personality is more conscientiousness even though I feel that it can’t be narrowed down to one label. As much as I enjoy my personality I am aware of my weaknesses or negative parts of it. However, with me knowing about the negative parts of my personality that can help me to work on what I need to.

Here is a little bit about my background this will help to get a better understanding of my personality. I am the oldest of four girls. All of my life I have had an enormous amount of responsibilities to handle it never bothered me. I am thinking because of my personality my mother felt that I was capable of handling doing every task assigned. Examples of my tasks come home from school do my homework, walk to go pick up my sisters up from school, cook dinner, and wash clothes. I have a very strong personality; yet not overbearing. I do not allow myself to be a pushover. Growing up because of the way that I was raised as well as my personality I did not give in to peer pressure. For a teenager I was very mature. At one point while growing up the teen pregnancy was high. It seemed like everywhere that I turned someone that I knew was pregnant. In my family there were relatives that were having babies early as well. My first child was born when I was in my late twenties. There is definitely a lot of peer pressure for teens sex, drugs, and drinking to name a few right to this very day. Teenagers have it really hard going through puberty and then having to try to fit in.  Some people give into peer pressure especially teenagers they are not very strong-minded. I have a best friend she is like the life of the party everywhere that she goes. The mindset that she has is” you only live once” she does whatever makes her feel good. There is nothing wrong with having a mindset like my friend’s but that is not right for me to each their own.

Social class to me is like high school mentality to me it’s all about being accepted socially by a particular group. Example a poor person cannot get in a country club unless they have a rich person that belongs to the club. The poor person can get connections through their rich friend. It’s all about the secret handshake and I want no parts of that. Peers are the same way no matter the location I don’t care if a high school is in a rich neighborhood, middle class neighborhood, or lower class neighborhood there will be certain groups that only accept a certain kind of people. It sucks royally. The groups of people that are in every high school are the popular kids, the smart kids, the sporty kids, the troublesome kids aka bullies and the odd kids no matter how much time passes it’s always the same. The social class and peers have the least influence on my personality.

I was brought up in a Christian household my life is lived according to the Bible. I live for God and not for the acceptance of man. The Bible says “that we cannot serve two masters” Human beings are fair weathered one day they like you and one day they hate you. When I take a look around at society there is no structure nothing is stable based on the mindset. People do whatever they want without regards about whether it can affect someone else. It’s like they have a sense of entitlement. My Christian values influence my personality tremendously I treat people like the way I would like to be treat. I want to be a bright light in a sometimes very negative dark world. I think about the consequences of my actions prior to me making a move. The personality factors that apply to me the most are family, culture, and genetic determinants. I have explained how family and culture influences my personality. I also believe that genes are a factor as well I get a lot from my mother she and I was always very close. The relationship between my mother and I was so great because our personalities were a lot a like. My mother and I looked very much alike as well.

One personality factor aspect that doesn’t explain my personality fully is environmental determinants. The personality that I have is not affect by the environment around me. I can be in a negative environment and will remain positive as well as upbeat. My belief is if the environment affects people in a negative way then change it. I cannot think of a time when the environment made my personality change especially not in a negative way.

I want to gain a better understanding of my personality because I want to be the best me that I can possibly be. Right now I am taking forensic psychology but I would like to receive a master’s degree in counseling. My calling is to prepare couples for marriage and counseling during marriage. The counseling that I am going to do will be Christian based of course however even with that being said a certain type of personality is required. In my opinion there is a lot about my personality that helps me to be prepared for my career. A counselor has to be tolerant, supportive, empathetic, patient, and intuitive to name a few things

Love Yourself

Just wanted to make it clear that self-love and being a lover of self isn’t the same. Self-love is positive it’s feeling good about yourself basically self acceptance. Lover of self is negative it’s having a self-centered attitude, being vain, and narcissistic.

All human eyes have the structure of the pupil, cornea, and iris etc. However, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We are all attractive to some people and we are all not so attractive to others. Don’t ever take it personal and definitely don’t allow anyone to come for your self-esteem. It is what it is. In my opinion it’s just a way that helps to eliminate the wrong people from out of our lives. Which is one of the biggest reasons why we shouldn’t put the power of boosting our self-esteem into the hands of others it could definitely become abused easily. Besides our worth isn’t based off the validation of others.

It’s important to be our best selves above anything else. For most of us there is only one of us unless we have a twin which is rare. We should take care of ourselves by eating right and exercising. Making sure that we are getting the proper sleep. Learning to not stress behind things that cannot be controlled one way or another things always work out. Words are powerful it’s so important to speak positivity into your life. Be a positive person so that you become someone who is quick to uplift others. Make improvements daily. Travel. Do something that you haven’t done before. If you have been attracting the wrong people or making the wrong choices figure out why by digging deep into yourself. Make it a point to break the monotony of reliving the same situations over and over again. Make decisions that will have the repercussions of reaping a blessed harvest. Never forget that many of our choices affect our future and sometimes our children’s future as well.

Remember people who attempt to tug at your self-esteem and self confidence are not to be entertained. It’s great to be opened to constructive criticism just beware of serial critics. A person who truly cares will bring out the best in you not the worse. Best friends aren’t jealous. True sisterhood doesn’t dox or drain one another’s souls. We will know people by their fruits. Actions speaks louder than words.

I have experienced a lot in my life and the advice that I give comes from a place of growth not from bitterness. I have healed and I want to help others to get healed as well. Being a realtist doesn’t necessarily makes a person negative it’s not what’s said but how and why. Honesty isn’t always going to come in a present that is wrapped in a pretty bow especially when it comes to looking at ourselves. Even though we can sometimes be our worst critics it’s a sign of growth to be able to evaluate ourselves. We know ourselves the best and obviously we have our best interest in mind after all it’s our lives. In order to become our best selves we most realize when we are not. Being honest with ourselves is the best sign of loving ourselves without having to rely on others opinions.

Example of loving yourself is being mindful of who we accept advice from and being opened to receive it. Example there are some people who believe that only happily married people are the only ones who can give great advice about marriage and that is the furthest thing from the truth. A person from a failed marriage can talk about where things went wrong. Happily married people also went through things too but they chose to stick it out for various reasons. Different situations happens to different people all advice can’t be applied. Everyone isn’t right and everyone isn’t wrong. I have learned that great advice can come from anyone don’t reject it based on who it’s coming from when you can tell that they mean well. When people don’t mean well you’ll be able to tell because you can feel their negative vibes. Negative energy is unmistakable and life is too short for that. So make it point to keep your space a negative opinion free zone and get your shine on.

Imagine what could happen once we tap into ourselves and discover our hidden potential to be great it can only happen once we accept and love ourselves.
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When Bad Does Good

The 61st Annual Grammy Awards show took placed last night. As I have shared I haven’t watched a music award show since probably the 90s. Music award shows aren’t like the way that they used to be due to the fact that music isn’t like it used to be. A lot of music of today lacks passionate and meaning unless it’s from an artist of the past. The Walking Dead beats out the Grammys everytime when it comes to which I choose to watch. That’s right I choose to watch flesh eating zombies over the Grammys.

Chris Cornell won a Grammy last night for Best Rock Performance. He won the award for the song When Bad Does Good. The song When Bad Does Good was an unreleased track that was in Chris Cornell’s personal archives. The song is featured on the self-titled legacy album Chris Cornell that was released on November 16, 2018. I’m glad that Chris Cornell is finally receiving the recognition that he deserves. He was an amazing song writer with a one of a kind voice. Chris Cornell will truly be missed no one sings like him anymore.

Lyrics to the song When Bad Does Good :

Standing beside an open grave
You’re fate decided, your life erased
Your final hour has come today
Lit by the fire of your temples burning
You were a child and so was I
Now you’re a hunter but I am a lion
And I will cut you down like I’ve done so many times
But sometimes bad can do some good
Sometimes bad can do some good
Sometimes bad can do some good
And I heard you say that flesh sells by the pound
When blood is raining down it cuts a deep river
And I’m diving
Now shine a light down onto the earth
And shake this gold dust out, out of the dirt
No saints beside me and no prayers to guide me
Sometimes bad can do some good
Bad can do some good
Sometimes bad can do some good
I’ve chosen a side and I will show no pity (rain down, heaven is falling)
And spare no lives
For those who try me (rain down, heaven is falling)
Let it be understood
Sometimes bad can do some good (rain down, heaven is falling)
Sometimes bad can do some good (rain down, heaven is falling)
Sometimes bad can do some good

Three Years Strong

Hooray!!! Happy Birthday to Be Lifted.

Ever since I was young I loved to write. I remember the day that I decided to become a blogger. It seems almost like yesterday when I started my blog. It’s my blog that consists of my thoughts, poetry, diet lifestyles, and choices of music.

Three years later Be Lifted is still going strong. I look forward to many more years of blogging.

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