I Get It Now

Yesterday on Facebook I spoke out against gun control. I’m so thankful for my blog because it reminds me of the reason why I started it. People always tell me to speak for myself but when I do, I end up hitting someone’s nerve. I’m all for people having their own opinions but I can’t tolerate dealing with people who can’t see anything else, a debate becomes a headache instantly.

The post that I wrote said,” Everyone wants to talk about gun control but no one wants to talk about broken homes”. Oh! Why did I say that?! Here comes the backlash!

Everyone wants to talk about mass murders but no one wants to talk about what started it all prior to the person pulling the trigger. Bullying, delinquent associates, substance abuse, untreated mental illnesses and so forth all goes back to a child’s upbringing. Poor family relations and poor parental supervision are some of the reasons for the lack of parental intervention. No one wants to address the potential risk and need factors before the violence occurs.

Now please don’t misunderstand me I am sorry for the lives that were lost in violent crimes. I just don’t feel that gun control is the solution. People want a quick fix to more than likely a problem that they may have helped to contribute to. Its let’s take the guns away but don’t talk about poor home training. Everything isn’t a microwave fix sometimes a stove has to be used. Modern times have spoiled some people, they want quick fixes without putting in the work.

No one wants to talk about some women not using birth control or caring about the kind of partner they are having children with (who will soon be absent). The crazy thing is that some of the very people who support abortion feel that it’s okay to take away a person’s right to bear arms.

Like I said, “it’s all fun and games to talk about taking away someone else’s right until it’s something that they care about”. I’m being honest some of the black people who are for gun control because of the mass shootings are the same ones who get upset when black on black crime is mentioned. Some black people want to talk about the crazy white kid who committed mass murder but doesn’t care about a black kid being shot on the street corner. That’s when the snitches get stitches come in to play and no one says a word that could help to solve a murder. Some black people are selective about certain causes. Yes. I said it. They rather talk about the broken homes happening overseas. They don’t want to talk about the 72% out of wedlock rate that is climbing. The children born out of wedlock will want to know where they came from and why their parent is absent. It is selfish for adults to mess up as parents and expect their children to be okay. There are no do-overs in parenting it’s easier to fix a damaged kid than a broken adult. These broken people go out into the world, become society’s problem and sometimes people get hurt.

I am convinced more than ever that everything that I experienced growing up has lead up to this moment. I used to be ashamed about the pain from my childhood but now I want to help others. I get it now my past has molded me and now I am speaking out.

While growing up in a broken home
All I ever wanted
Was if I was blessed to become a mother
That my children would not experience
The same thing
My father was abusive
My mother struggled
She did her best of raising me
More important than the
Time spent, home cooking, cooking lessons
Was teaching me about Christ,
Responsibility and accountability
People say that the best way
To reach others is to be
Able to relate
To their pain
To their upbringing
I get it now
Everything that happened in my life
Was meant for something greater
People speak of gun control
But no one wants to speak
About the dysfunction
That is produced from a broken home
Serial killers, mass murders, bombers,
Black on black crime, terrorist etc.
All of these people are apart of situations
Where innocent people were killed
Not all by guns
When people want to kill
They don’t always use guns
One way or another
They will find a way to get it done
They will do what they set out to do
It’s time for me
To speak the truth
Being silent
There is no use
I get it now

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My Lane

As I get older I find myself traveling down memory lane, thinking of what could have been then I am bought back to reality, things are how they are supposed to be. When I was nineteen I attended college for a short time then I began working at a convenience store thinking what I was making was big money guess what? I wasn’t. I should have stayed in college I allowed my contentment with substituting pennies for dollars. I allowed my contentment for a small paycheck to be bigger than a career with the benefits of a 401k. I am now back in college with two children even though it’s never too late for a change. I can’t deny that my decisions has a lot to do with my present life.

Now that I am older I understand that I will follow through with my goals. I will run my race because I want to get to my destination which can’t be done trying to run someone else’s. I have grown. I trust God’s guidance and Not my own. I trust God with my life’s outcome. Every day I tell myself these things:
My life
My lane
My choices
My mistakes
My lessons
My testimonies
My destiny
My God shall direct my path and supply my every need.

Victim or Victor?

First off I would like to share that I have four more courses left and I will receive my Bachelor’s degree. After I receive my Bachelor’s degree I will pursue a Master’s degree. I have to thank God for all that He has done for me!

Now that I have gotten that part out of the way, currently I am taking a course in Victimology. Victimology is the scientific study of physical, emotional, and financial harm people endure because of illegal activities. One of my discussion questions was about victim blaming. Victim blaming is when the victim is made responsible for a wrongdoing that occurred to them. Victim blaming isn’t always fair people who live in poverty are assumed to be lazy or unmotivated which isn’t always the case some things happen that’s beyond one’s control. This course got me to thinking a lot.

I grew up in a Christian home and I am very proud about this. Along the way in my life, I have made mistakes that had nothing to do with God. God gives us free will and I chose to live Not according to His Will so I paid the price. I made my bed so I have to lay in it until I get to where I am meant to be. I am not a person who constantly blame others and never myself. The victim role isn’t my thing I want to be victorious but it can’t happen if I am constantly blaming people and licking my wounds.

People may look at my life from the outside it may look one way but trust me it will turn out another way. People look at being rich in money and things as being successful that is not true being content is being rich. Rich people have more problems than anyone. Like Biggie said “More money more problems”. I would be happy just being able to take great care of my sons, be healthy, physically, mentally, and emotionally as well as number one has a relationship with God. Understand this it’s not about being rich in things I never will be, I am responsible for where I am and not God. I am rich because I have grown from my mistakes and I know better so I am doing better. God has given us so many examples that we can learn from like making mistakes in life is like losing weight change won’t happen overnight but if you stay consistent it will.

So what do I mean by all of this? Are we going to be a victim or victor? Have I made mistakes in the past? Yes. And I have grown from them. I probably will make mistakes in the future. We have to sometimes make wrong turns before making right ones. I choose to evaluate myself before I blame anyone else. I choose to be victorious!

Like a Sister

We see it on television or social media every day a person who was considered to be a sister who betrayed another in the worse way. Is there any true sisterhood anymore? Are there any loyal sisters today?

It’s all about the respect and the value that people choose to place on things like friendships, relationships, marriages, and yes sisterhood.

I saw a beautiful post and it’s so how I am. The post said ” I am a woman’s woman and a faithful friend. I won’t run off with your man. I won’t hate you because you’re beautiful. I’ll celebrate your success as my own. I’ll keep your secrets and listen to your rants. I choose my friends carefully and if I choose you, I’ll love you like a sister.

I don’t take pleasure in pulling other sisters down. No matter where I am in life through my highs and lows I am never stingy with a compliment. If a sister has lost weight, a new place, new hair-do I will tell her, that I am proud, that she’s beautiful. Never will I undermine a sister’s accomplishment she deserves her props. One thing I don’t do and that’s jock another sister’s style, I am a confident woman I don’t constantly need the spotlight.

This world is already wicked and filled with heartless hateful people. Being negative is easy to do, seeing the best in people can be hard if we focus on the bad things only. There is peace in positivity.

Being mean and fault finding all the time isn’t healthy it’s good to have awareness of the negative people and situations. However, it’s good to enjoy things as well as people that come along.

I choose to believe that there are still good people and that means sisters of every color. Flowers bloom together, they don’t compete because each has their own unique beauty. I’m keeping faith about true sisterhood. It exists.

Go Ahead

It never ceases to amaze me. The moment I share that I enjoy heavy metal a pop quiz always follows with a continuation of questionnaires. How long have you been listening to metal? I was talking about the Red Hot Chili Peppers and the person was like, what is the leader of the band’s name? Like really dude? If it was hip-hop would I be given the third degree? Geez, I didn’t know that listening to certain music came with stipulations.

When some black people find out they swear that I don’t listen to metal. Whatever dude. Black people were the pioneers of rock music, so get over it. I am a black woman who enjoys listening to heavy metal and I am Not alone. I try not to get triggered but I just hate labels. Labels suck!!! Don’t place them on me!
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I have been listening to heavy metal every since I was really young. Pantera, Korn, Arch Enemy, In this moment, new metal and old I am very knowledgeable. My love for music is genuine.

Can’t Nobody Tell It Better Than Me

Diversity of thought allows a person to accept and respect what another person believes as long as it isn’t hurting anyone. I am a Christian and I am proud of that. When I had no one I had God. I can give testimony after testimony about what God did to save my children and I. Again it was not a human. I understand that some people have had situations that occurred in their lives, where they question God. Some people are so angry at God that it has them blind. There are about 7.3 billion people in the world and 2.3 billion are Christians. So 2.3 billion people are lost? This isn’t slavery time no one is getting beat over the head and forced to believe in Christ. People of different races are Christians. So, all of these people are just blind and they believe in Christ for no reason? I don’t think so.

I have had things that have occurred in my life and recently I found something else out. And I am not angry at God about it. God gave us all free will. He doesn’t force us to believe in Him or follow Him. Kind like us wanting people to love us for who we are and not for what we can do. Think about it like this there are some people who don’t believe in God but they all aren’t going to behave the same. Some will think of others but a lot won’t even more so. Why? They lack structure and that’s why they do whatever they want without a care in the world. They lack having a conscience. We can’t blame God for everything and especially not for the people who choose to Not follow Him. Of course they will do evil things their flesh controls them Not God. In my opinion a person can’t allow God in if they are full of themselves. The consequences of not following God is an angry person who has an appetite for destruction. Which is why I am careful of what I allow into my spirit. Evil is Not Good. Evil likes to hide in the dark. Bad things happen in the dark. We can’t walk in the dark which is why we turn on a light. But once the light is on there is no place for evil or darkness to hide. Evil is Not of light. The saying goes “what’s done in the dark comes out in the light” because bad things can hide in darkness. Something to think about.

I am not telling all of my life’s story because it’s Not time yet. I will say this much my “father” hated me, he abused my mother, my sister and I, both of my sons (one is autistic) are by the same man who I was married to, we don’t get along and I am a single mother. This is just the tip of the iceberg about my life. Some of the things that has happen in my life were bad choices that I made and Not God’s fault. Some of the worst chapters in my life happened when I wasn’t walking right with God. Every life has a story and so does mine. All I know is that there has to be a God with all I have been through and continue go through. I have overcame and endured!!! That’s how I know that God is real. Believe what you will after all we have free will. I choose to believe what’s the harm in believing and having hope? Besides I will not stop having faith it’s the one thing that keeps me going When I Am About To Run Out Of Steam!!!

Don’t Be Afraid

Over the last couple of days some black people have been in a rage about what Ciara said about leveling up!!! I have seen women getting into arguments on social media. Ciara has been under attack. Quickly some people reminded her of her past relationship. Newsflash!!! Ciara is not her past. This is the reason why people don’t like to share their testimonies, out of fear that people will attempt to drag them back to where they came from. There is truth in her words.

I keep seeing some black people saying “Okay, We get it” but they haven’t done anything to change a lot of situations. It’s hard to do anything when you are not receptive to it and you are bashing the messenger. As the old saying goes, don’t shoot the messenger. If Ciara message offends a person they need to find out why it does. She is not the problem.

Sometimes people just can’t win if you give advice with no experience it’s: “What do you know about my situation?” How can you relate? If people know about your past instead of them being inspired, they pick you apart and attempt to shame you into silence. I don’t follow celebrities a lot, I am just speaking on the backlash that she received. She is a celebrity so she has zero privacy the public knows her past. However, there are some women that aren’t famous, who have experienced what she has too. I look at Ciara’s life as an inspiration. She overcame and endured, most importantly she’s happy!!! Happiness is the ultimate goal in relationships and marriages.

We can’t allow our past to keep us bondage. We are not our past. Everyone has a past. Everyone has parts of their lives that they don’t want to read aloud. Some people will receive what is said and some won’t. There was some people who agreed with Ciara, so what she said was not in vain. Even looking at stories from the Bible Noah tried to warn people they laughed and called him crazy. Jonah did not want to warn the people of Nineveh. Jonah ran probably out of fear of how the people would receive the message. If a message is placed on your heart don’t be afraid, deliver it someone may need to hear it. It could the message that they need in order to give them hope.