Don’t Come For Me

Today I had a black man tell me that myself and other black women who choose to swirl deserves to be placed into an oven alive so we can burn. I know what you are thinking Tameeka “why do you care about what a troll says?” I’ll tell you why because like I have already been saying there is a problem within the black community. It’s hard for me as well as some of the other single mothers who have black sons. Many of us are fighting to make sure that our sons will be respectable and productive citizens. I have already shared that I have always been attracted to white men however I did have two children with a black man. One day I will tell the whole story in a book because it’s worthy of that. I will say this while I love my sons very deeply I do wish that they was blessed to have another father however they would not be who they are without having the father that they have. The main thing that needs to be said is this don’t come for me unless you know my story and you heard it come from me directly. I am Not ashamed of my battle scars the war has been won that part of my life is done. I am at the point in my life that I don’t mind talking about what I have been through if it can help someone else.

My sons are by the same man who I married as well. The marriage did not work out it is what it is, getting married is one thing staying married is another. What is the most important thing that needs to be understood is that sometimes in order to avoid what Not to do you must understand why you should Not do it. I had my oldest in 2001 and my youngest in 2003 that was before Facebook, Twitter and You-Tube. Today there is a wealth of information available that can help the generations after me. Understand this I have never told any black woman to date a black man only. I always say date the person who loves and treats you the best regardless of his skin color because love has no color. There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to have a family it just has to be done properly. If hurricane Harvey wasn’t an eye opener I am not sure what will there were way too many single black mothers who were totally alone. I am a advocate for breaking the chains of broken homes because they are the destroyer of children’s tomorrows. Every child deserves to be brought up in an intact home. I do Not want any child to walk around with a hole in their heart that was created by their parent. Children can be repaired unlike most adults this is why broken homes must cease be eradicated all together.

Back on topic I remember when I told my mother that I was attracted to white men at first she had a hard time accepting it. My mother told me that she was afraid of me being hurt but as I told her any man can hurt you. The support of interracial dating that is out now wasn’t around in the 80’s and 90’s. Support strengthens people to be brave enough to stand up for what they believe is right think about it civil rights didn’t happen with just Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. acts alone. As black women we must pull together and lift one another up not looked down on other women who messed up. I know that there are some disrespectful black men who are on a vendetta to try to destroy us but they can’t do that as long as we band together. I want to see all black women happy and successful don’t judge me by my past. To know me now is to learn my past so you may learn from it the struggles that I encountered yesterday made me the woman who I am today and I am not ashamed. Hurt people, hurt others and healed people, heal others please know that I am healed woman.

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I Don’t Want To

I don’t want to
Talk about a person
In the past tense
If I don’t have
A present history of praising
Them while they were alive
To do that is being fake
As President Washington once said
I cannot tell a lie
I don’t want to be
In contact with anyone
Who I have troubling complimenting
I don’t want to
Walk around with a
Heart that is full of unforgiveness
Having a heart like that is poisonous
I don’t want to have
Any dealings with people
Who has absolutely no concept
Of how precious life is
Because tomorrow is not promised
Why waste time time on hatred
Why not spend time
Working on forgiveness
And building off of one another’s strength
As we live
Why must it take
A person’s passing
For us to understand this
We have to love today
Admire today
Pray today
Hope today
Smile today
Makes someone who we care about
Day today
Life is too short
To be afraid to do
These things
So let the grudges go
Let the ego go
No one is promised tomorrow

But You’re Still Black

Ummm. Okay. Thank you for confirming what I see in the mirror on a every day basis. It’s a no brainer my mother and father were black not sure about the exact percentage I need to take a heritage DNA test. I get taken back by some black men when they find out I’m into dating outside of my race they always feel the need to remind me of what my race is. Whatever dude.

Some black men need to think of how it comes off when they say “but you’re still black”. As if there’s some invisible obligation clause black women can’t see like sister you’re chained to us for life. Sista you are subjected to being disrespected, a struggling single parent and lots of turmoil remember you are black. It is really frustrating because many black people fought for our rights to be seen as individuals beyond our color. Yes I am black but that’s only a small fraction of who I am. Some black people think really small it’s okay for people to be themselves and Not follow a trend. I used to say that I was different but that’s far from the truth. I am Tameeka simple as that. I am me. The world would be a much better place if people would walk into their chosen purpose without fear. There is freedom in being who God called you to be.

I’m not sentenced to do what people of my race sees fit for me to do. They can call me names like coon and sellout it’s just a control tactic that I won’t fall for. I’m not alone when it comes to these feelings it’s refreshing too. It’s always amazing to me when some black men speak of racism yet treat their own women like dirt. It’s a new day and age people are being true to themselves and dealing with people who celebrate them not tolerate them.

 

 

 

 

 

Why Are You Angry?

There are some black men who are walking around angry and they hate black women. The worst part is some of them call themselves men of God. They claim that they want to help correct black women but that’s highly doubtful. Yes, God corrects people but He does it in love.

I don’t hate black men but when someone speaks on it they get slammed. The black community is chaotic, poverty-stricken and dysfunctional I’m not sure if the chain will ever be broken.

When I hear a angry black man speak ill of a black woman immediately I wonder why are they so angry. Did they fall off their bike and their mother didn’t kiss their boo-boo? Did a girl who they wanted to go to their first dance with turn them down? Did their first love break their heart? It’s important for us to figure it out because many of them have a vendetta against black women. Many of them feel better by degrading and demeaning black women and it must stop. The only way the anger will stop is if we can all figure out why. I think that it’s because of broken homes after all 72% of black fathers do not reside with their children and 73% of children are born out of wedlock.

I’m not bashing black men but  I’m not working for Scooby snacks and empty praises from men who hates us either. I want to know why are they so angry I don’t want any of my beautiful nieces or any of the upcoming beautiful young ladies to experience disrespect from hateful men something has to be done.

Many black men aren’t getting married but have children everywhere women have to play bounty hunter like they are Dog (TV show guy) to get support for their children. The child support payments that women receive most times isn’t enough for a week worth of groceries. Quite frankly it’s despicable especially how they blame black women for how they behave it’s all too much. It’s just too much unnecessary drama from hateful and unfaithful men. I don’t know about anyone else but I’m not signing up for struggle love. Which is why I choose not to date them anymore I refuse to go on a scavenger hunt to look for a good black man aka IBM but that’s another post for another day.

I’m just curious about how they can hate black women but love their mom and sisters. Or maybe they just don’t love any black woman at all. It just doesn’t make sense men of the world I expect them to be harsh and cruel but don’t call yourself a man of God because you are not. I pray that God softens the hearts of hateful men.

The Child Support Hustle

Oh, do it. Oh, do it Do it. Do the hustle, do the hustle. Do the hustle, do the hustle. Do the hustle. Oh, do it. Oh, do it. Do it. Do the child support hustle. I’m sorry but I just couldn’t resist because it’s so funny to me how some men can come up with anything excuse as an attempt to dodge their responsibilities. Anyway I hear lots of guys call child support a woman’s hustle. Like dude you guys cannot be serious. Are you?
I’ve heard some guys say to women for them to “choose better” when they get involved with a guy. As if I guy is going to introduce himself like “Hello my name is loser. I’m going to sell you a bunch of dreams, impregnate you and be a dead beat father.” Oh if only things were that simple there would be less broken homes.
As I always say that I don’t put black men down but I am not making excuses for the ones who are not right either. We have to call a spade out when we see one. There are some men who get a woman pregnant to tie her down. There are some men who pay child support but don’t want to be a father to their children. There are some men who don’t want to pay child support nor be a father to their children either. What boggles me is that must people in the black community have come from broken homes. Why don’t people in the community want to break the chain of broken homes instead of adding more links? We’ve seen what’s it’s like to grow up in a broken home and we know as well as understand the pain.
I get so tired of guys calling child support a hustle. Like a woman didn’t make a child alone and yeah don’t forget dude it’s your responsibility regardless. I don’t receive child support for my two sons by the way and  I won’t touch that subject…for now anyway. Attacking black mothers isn’t going to change the fact that a man has to pay child support. Most times when a woman takes child support out on the father he was given many opportunities to do right but he didn’t.
No woman want to go through going to court to make a father do what is right. Think about it when a father gets behind on child support the child gets like really nothing. So who’s losing here? The child. If you ask me it’s some of these fathers running a hustle because they are skipping out on their responsibilities. Some of these fathers need to bust a move and take care of their children or just use protection. It’s just that simple.

Skeletons in Your Closet

My mother loved music one song that she used to play a lot was called Skeletons by Stevie Wonder. The beat to that song Skeletons was everything!! Anyway the lyrics went:

Skeletons in your closest

Itchin’ to come outside

Messin’ with your conscience

In a way your face can’t hide

Well you see where I am going with this. We all have skeletons in our closet still God has forgiven us. No one should be walking around with a heavy heart behind past events that God has already forgiven us for. Don’t allow anyone to make you feel guilty about your past because that isn’t cool. Especially when people don’t know you or your story. We have to get rid of people who are quick to judge and slow to love.

In my opinion when we can’t move on from past mistakes it robs us of our present. Our present is a gift. I don’t care how many bones a person has in their closet whether it’s enough to make a human skeleton or a dinosaur museum. Who are we to judge? A person of the world reminds a person of their past a real Christian knows better than to do that. Everyone has skeletons and everyone has a story that they don’t want to read aloud.

So don’t allow the devil, your guilt, your enemies or anybody to make you feel guilty about what you and God has already worked out. Life is too short to worry about unpaid critics that feel that they have a right to judge your life. What did Jesus tell the woman who was caught in adultery? What did Jesus say to the Pharisees who was about to stone her? Alright enjoy the life that God has given you and be blessed!

2 Corinthians 5:17

17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

the-6-toxic-beliefs-that-will-kill-your-cleaning-company-9-638

The “IBM”

So I was watching a very interesting video on YouTube it was about black men who don’t like it when black women swirl. Everyone knows where  I stand on this subject I believe that people should be able to explore their options in peace. It’s about numbers there are not enough black men for every black woman. I don’t know about the other black women but I am not waiting around or going on a scavenger hunt looking for an “IBM”. In case no one knows what IBM means it short for ideal black man. So what is an ideal black man he’s a leader, faithful, honest, loyal….I guess one can throw in his employment, doesn’t have a lot of children, is a great father to the children he does have, educated etc. What made the video interesting is that a black man suggested polygamy as a way to solve the number’s problem and noooooooooo. I don’t know any woman who values herself that would be willing to share a black man…..or any man period.

I don’t hate black men nor do I put them down. I do have a problem with the black men who put black women down. I do believe that black love exists however it’s not for me. I am into various things most of the things black men aren’t if so they are into white women plain and simple. Let’s be real honest for a second most black people have come from broken homes I came from one. I understand that for most people are unstable because they came from dysfunction okay when does it stop? I recognized my issues a long time ago and  I fixed them. Let me give an example when you hear a noise coming from your car don’t you go get it fixed? Okay if a person is broken they need to allow God to fixed them so they don’t go and damage someone else. Anyone who have emotional issues should not get involved with anyone their only pulling someone into their life storm. I’m pulling someone into my peace because life is too short to live any other way.

I guess the reason why  I wrote about this is because I can’t understand why interracial dating is such a huge problem. Growing up I had “One” crush on a black guy I have always been attracted to white men. Anyone who knows me personally know this and  I have dated white men too. Recently I decided that  I am going to do what makes me happy. If I am blessed to see 85 years old  I wanted to have a full life of happiness. The way to be happy is doing things as long as they are within God’s will that make us happy. The only person who we are suppose to live our lives for is God no one else. I pray that people find the one who makes them happy regardless of the person’s color.