But You’re Still Black

Ummm. Okay. Thank you for confirming what I see in the mirror on a everyday basis. It’s a no brainer my mother and father were black not sure about the exact percentage I need to take a heritage DNA. I get taken back by some black men when they find out I’m into dating outside of my race they always have the need to remind me of what my race is. Whatever dude.

Some black men need to think of how it comes off when they say “but you’re still black”. As if there’s some invisible obligation clause black women can’t see like sister you’re chained to us for life. Sista you are subjected to being disrespected, a struggling single parent and lots of turmoil remember you are black. It is really frustrating because many black people fought for our rights to be seen as individuals beyond our color. Yes I am black but that’s only a small fraction of who I am. Some black people think really small it’s okay for people to be themselves and Not follow a trend. I used to say that I was different but that’s far from the truth. I am Tameeka simple as that. I am me. The world would be a much better place if people would walk into their chosen purpose without fear. There is freedom in being who God called you to be.

I’m not sentenced to do what people of my race sees fit for me to do. They can call me names like coon and sellout it’s just a control tactic that I won’t fall for. I’m not alone when it comes to these feelings it’s refreshing too. It’s always amazing to me when some black men speak of racism yet treat their own women like dirt. It’s a new day and age people are being true to themselves and dealing with people who celebrate them not tolerate them.

 

 

 

 

 

Why Are You Angry?

There are some black men who are walking around angry and they hate black women. The worst part is some of them call themselves men of God. They claim that they want to help correct black women but that’s highly doubtful. Yes, God corrects people but He does it in love.

I don’t hate black men but when someone speaks on it they get slammed. The black community is chaotic, poverty-stricken and dysfunctional I’m not sure if the chain will ever be broken.

When I hear a angry black man speak ill of a black woman immediately I wonder why are they so angry. Did they fall off their bike and their mother didn’t kiss their boo-boo? Did a girl who they wanted to go to their first dance with turn them down? Did their first love break their heart? It’s important for us to figure it out because many of them have a vendetta against black women. Many of them feel better by degrading and demeaning black women and it must stop. The only way the anger will stop is if we can all figure out why. I think that it’s because of broken homes after all 72% of black fathers do not reside with their children and 73% of children are born out of wedlock.

I’m not bashing black men but  I’m not working for Scooby snacks and empty praises from men who hates us either. I want to know why are they so angry I don’t want any of my beautiful nieces or any of the upcoming beautiful young ladies to experience disrespect from hateful men something has to be done.

Many black men aren’t getting married but have children everywhere women have to play bounty hunter like they are Dog (TV show guy) to get support for their children. The child support payments that women receive most times isn’t enough for a week worth of groceries. Quite frankly it’s despicable especially how they blame black women for how they behave it’s all too much. It’s just too much unnecessary drama from hateful and unfaithful men. I don’t know about anyone else but I’m not signing up for struggle love. Which is why I choose not to date them anymore I refuse to go on a scavenger hunt to look for a good black man aka IBM but that’s another post for another day.

I’m just curious about how they can hate black women but love their mom and sisters. Or maybe they just don’t love any black woman at all. It just doesn’t make sense men of the world I expect them to be harsh and cruel but don’t call yourself a man of God because you are not. I pray that God softens the hearts of hateful men.

The Child Support Hustle

Oh, do it. Oh, do it Do it. Do the hustle, do the hustle. Do the hustle, do the hustle. Do the hustle. Oh, do it. Oh, do it. Do it. Do the child support hustle. I’m sorry but I just couldn’t resist because it’s so funny to me how some men can come up with anything excuse as an attempt to dodge their responsibilities. Anyway I hear lots of guys call child support a woman’s hustle. Like dude you guys cannot be serious. Are you?
I’ve heard some guys say to women for them to “choose better” when they get involved with a guy. As if I guy is going to introduce himself like “Hello my name is loser. I’m going to sell you a bunch of dreams, impregnate you and be a dead beat father.” Oh if only things were that simple there would be less broken homes.
As I always say that I don’t put black men down but I am not making excuses for the ones who are not right either. We have to call a spade out when we see one. There are some men who get a woman pregnant to tie her down. There are some men who pay child support but don’t want to be a father to their children. There are some men who don’t want to pay child support nor be a father to their children either. What boggles me is that must people in the black community have come from broken homes. Why don’t people in the community want to break the chain of broken homes instead of adding more links? We’ve seen what’s it’s like to grow up in a broken home and we know as well as understand the pain.
I get so tired of guys calling child support a hustle. Like a woman didnt make a child alone and yeah don’t forget dude it’s your responsibility regardless. I don’t receive child support for my two sons by the way and  I won’t touch that subject…for now anyway. Attacking black mothers isn’t going to change the fact that a man has to pay child support. Most times when a women takes child support out on the father he was given many opportunities to do right but he didn’t.
No woman want to go through going to court to make a father do what is right. Think about it when a father gets behind on child support the child gets like really nothing. So who’s losing here? The child. If you ask me it’s some of these fathers running a hustle because they are skipping out on their responsibilities. Some of these fathers need to bust a move and take care of their children or just use protection. It’s just that simple.

Skeletons in Your Closet

My mother loved music one song that she used to play a lot was called Skeletons by Stevie Wonder. The beat to that song Skeletons was everything!! Anyway the lyrics went:

Skeletons in your closest

Itchin’ to come outside

Messin’ with your conscience

In a way your face can’t hide

Well you see where I am going with this. We all have skeletons in our closet still God has forgiven us. No one should be walking around with a heavy heart behind past events that God has already forgiven us for. Don’t allow anyone to make you feel guilty about your past because that isn’t cool. Especially when people don’t know you or your story. We have to get rid of people who are quick to judge and slow to love.

In my opinion when we can’t move on from past mistakes it robs us of our present. Our present is a gift. I don’t care how many bones a person has in their closet whether it’s enough to make a human skeleton or a dinosaur museum. Who are we to judge? A person of the world reminds a person of their past a real Christian knows better than to do that. Everyone has skeletons and everyone has a story that they don’t want to read aloud.

So don’t allow the devil, your guilt, your enemies or anybody to make you feel guilty about what you and God has already worked out. Life is too short to worry about unpaid critics that feel that they have a right to judge your life. What did Jesus tell the woman who was caught in adultery? What did Jesus say to the Pharisees who was about to stone her? Alright enjoy the life that God has given you and be blessed!

2 Corinthians 5:17

17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

the-6-toxic-beliefs-that-will-kill-your-cleaning-company-9-638

The “IBM”

So I was watching a very interesting video on YouTube it was about black men who don’t like it when black women swirl. Everyone knows where  I stand on this subject I believe that people should be able to explore their options in peace. It’s about numbers there are not enough black men for every black woman. I don’t know about the other black women but I am not waiting around or going on a scavenger hunt looking for an “IBM”. In case no one knows what IBM means it short for ideal black man. So what is an ideal black man he’s a leader, faithful, honest, loyal….I guess one can throw in his employment, doesn’t have a lot of children, is a great father to the children he does have, educated etc. What made the video interesting is that a black man suggested polygamy as a way to solve the number’s problem and noooooooooo. I don’t know any woman who values herself that would be willing to share a black man…..or any man period.

I don’t hate black men nor do I put them down. I do have a problem with the black men who put black women down. I do believe that black love exists however it’s not for me. I am into various things most of the things black men aren’t if so they are into white women plain and simple. Let’s be real honest for a second most black people have come from broken homes I came from one. I understand that for most people are unstable because they came from dysfunction okay when does it stop? I recognized my issues a long time ago and  I fixed them. Let me give an example when you hear a noise coming from your car don’t you go get it fixed? Okay if a person is broken they need to allow God to fixed them so they don’t go and damage someone else. Anyone who have emotional issues should not get involved with anyone their only pulling someone into their life storm. I’m pulling someone into my peace because life is too short to live any other way.

I guess the reason why  I wrote about this is because I can’t understand why interracial dating is such a huge problem. Growing up I had “One” crush on a black guy I have always been attracted to white men. Anyone who knows me personally know this and  I have dated white men too. Recently I decided that  I am going to do what makes me happy. If I am blessed to see 85 years old  I wanted to have a full life of happiness. The way to be happy is doing things as long as they are within God’s will that make us happy. The only person who we are suppose to live our lives for is God no one else. I pray that people find the one who makes them happy regardless of the person’s color.

The Kids of Today Will Never Know

The kids of today will never know the awesomeness of having payphones on every corner or record stores. Oh how I love the 80s and 90s they hold so many wonderful memories. Growing up I had so many cool things it was a blessing to be a kid without being rushed to become an adult. This generation of kids know so much but feel so little very desensitized. I loved coming home to my stereo record player, albums, cassettes, poster plaster walls and wall phone with it’s extremely long cord. Children of today will never know about Track, Sam Goody and Tower records stores being able to purchase a single on a cassette or a 45. The kids of today won’t ever know about getting ten cassettes for a penny from Columbia house in the mail. The kids of today will never know about having humongous posters that covers 1/4 of a wall. The kids of today will never know the joy of recording a song in it’s entirety from off of the radio it was like winning the lottery. Music made so much sense and it all meant something pride was placed into every song. In my day an artist hopes was to be beyond a one hit wonder. Everything was wholesome I want my MTV, my BET and my VH1, music videos 24/7 I was in heaven!!! Did I ever mention it was my dream to become a VJ on MTV?  I loved reading Right On, Hit Parader, Tiger beat and  Word Up magazines. One of my fondest memories is when my stepdad got soaked in the rain to get me a magazine featuring New Edition and not one page got wet (don’t ask me how he did it). I could go on and on about my memories growing up it was so fun. I feel so bad for this generation.

Being A Great Dad

Growing up in a broken home

Taught me that parenting

Should not be done alone

Indeed we have our heavenly Father

He also gives us rules to follow

That we all should honor

A mother is to nurture her children

Instill compassion in her children

Teach them brilliant cooking skills

A mother plants amazing feelings

Into her children so that they take root

A father gives his children advice

Teaches his children how to ride a bike

Teaches his children how to drive

How a man treats a lady

He leads by example

He’s his children protector whether

Or not he and the mother are together

A mother’s and a father’s love for

Their children should always be equal

Too many are trying to minimize

A father’s unique contributions

As if it means nothing at all

These kinds of attitudes are part

Of the black community’s problem

I know men who are good fathers

Who have had the worse life experiences

I’m talking horrendous

Yet they don’t use them as crutches

Are there petty mothers

Who for no good reasons stops

The children’s fathers from having

A relationship with their kids

Yes and those situations I don’t accept

But let’s be honest those kinds of

Situations are rare

How about the fathers who makes

The choice to neglect

Having a relationship with their children

Those kind of fathers

Don’t deserve any respect

Once  a person becomes a parent

A mission must be made to make sure

That their children have

The absolute best

A parent’s love should always be felt

Even when they aren’t present

Children should never ever feel

As if they never received enough love

There’s nothing that hurts worse

Then to feel rejected by

Your very own parent

Why should a child have to learn

How to become immune to hurt

It’s the same old tune

We are living in a society

With people who are self absorbed

Classic narcissistic behavior

Some of these fathers who aren’t good

Align themselves with

A bunch of yes men

Ones who agree with everything

Whether they are right or wrong

Bobble heads who are afraid

To stand up or challenge

Newsflash they are not true friends

Sick of some of these dead beat

Fathers crying about children support

When you didn’t do right on your own

So mothers had to turn

To the government for assistance

It’s your fault that you fathers

Have to pay it

Some of your fathers words

Ain’t worth nothing

Never consistent

No wonder why you have bad credit

Constantly trying to make

A mother feel bad for asking for help

Dude we didn’t make these

Children by ourselves

If you can’t be a good father

Do us all a favor

And get yourself fixed

So over these good for nothing fathers

Who’s always coming up with excuses

Like a student sitting in

The principal’s office

Offering a reason for skipping

How about this don’t just be a father

Be a dad

That’s called being a man

A sign of great parenting

Is not having children

Who becomes estranged from you

The moment they reach 18

All behind past things that happened

In which they are still hurting

Having a blessed relationship

With our children until we are old

Should be every parent’s

Ultimate goal