My Lane

As I get older I find myself traveling down memory lane, thinking of what could have been then I am bought back to reality, things are how they are supposed to be. When I was nineteen I attended college for a short time then I began working at a convenience store thinking what I was making was big money guess what? I wasn’t. I should have stayed in college I allowed my contentment with substituting pennies for dollars. I allowed my contentment for a small paycheck to be bigger than a career with the benefits of a 401k. I am now back in college with two children even though it’s never too late for a change. I can’t deny that my decisions has a lot to do with my present life.

Now that I am older I understand that I will follow through with my goals. I will run my race because I want to get to my destination which can’t be done trying to run someone else’s. I have grown. I trust God’s guidance and Not my own. I trust God with my life’s outcome. Every day I tell myself these things:
My life
My lane
My choices
My mistakes
My lessons
My testimonies
My destiny
My God shall direct my path and supply my every need.

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Victim or Victor?

First off I would like to share that I have four more courses left and I will receive my Bachelor’s degree. After I receive my Bachelor’s degree I will pursue a Master’s degree. I have to thank God for all that He has done for me!

Now that I have gotten that part out of the way, currently I am taking a course in Victimology. Victimology is the scientific study of physical, emotional, and financial harm people endure because of illegal activities. One of my discussion questions was about victim blaming. Victim blaming is when the victim is made responsible for a wrongdoing that occurred to them. Victim blaming isn’t always fair people who live in poverty are assumed to be lazy or unmotivated which isn’t always the case some things happen that’s beyond one’s control. This course got me to thinking a lot.

I grew up in a Christian home and I am very proud about this. Along the way in my life, I have made mistakes that had nothing to do with God. God gives us free will and I chose to live Not according to His Will so I paid the price. I made my bed so I have to lay in it until I get to where I am meant to be. I am not a person who constantly blame others and never myself. The victim role isn’t my thing I want to be victorious but it can’t happen if I am constantly blaming people and licking my wounds.

People may look at my life from the outside it may look one way but trust me it will turn out another way. People look at being rich in money and things as being successful that is not true being content is being rich. Rich people have more problems than anyone. Like Biggie said “More money more problems”. I would be happy just being able to take great care of my sons, be healthy, physically, mentally, and emotionally as well as number one has a relationship with God. Understand this it’s not about being rich in things I never will be, I am responsible for where I am and not God. I am rich because I have grown from my mistakes and I know better so I am doing better. God has given us so many examples that we can learn from like making mistakes in life is like losing weight change won’t happen overnight but if you stay consistent it will.

So what do I mean by all of this? Are we going to be a victim or victor? Have I made mistakes in the past? Yes. And I have grown from them. I probably will make mistakes in the future. We have to sometimes make wrong turns before making right ones. I choose to evaluate myself before I blame anyone else. I choose to be victorious!

Happy Father’s Day

It’s not easy being a single parent, it’s something that no-one signs up for. Parenting isn’t about just the easy stuff like picking something from out the refrigerator for the children to eat or taking them to the park. Parenting is about the hard stuff too like staying up all night when a child gets sick or for me helping your autistic son to understand what puberty is. Indeed, parenting can become a frustrating job at times and some mothers want to claim father’s day too.

Believe it or not there are a lot of excellent fathers who are in their children’s lives. Some fathers are still with the mothers of their children and are a positive entity. There are fathers who weathered the storm of the ups and downs in a relationship or marriage. There are also fathers who aren’t with the mothers of their children but his presence is still felt. There are fathers who don’t only see their children on holidays but often. There are fathers who take their children to school who knows their children favorite foods and colors. There are fathers who are making memories with their children not just making children who dream of seeing them. There are fathers who don’t just pay child support and feel that’s enough. There are fathers who put their children first and it stays that way regardless of whatever happens.

There are fathers who want to see their children but can’t. There are fathers who are single parents too. Is it really okay to rob the excellent fathers of their day because some of the mothers are in their feelings? Mothers day is in May. Father’s day is in June. Single parents day is in March we must understand the difference. Happy Father’s day to all of the great fathers around the world you are appreciated truly. Blessings!

Forever Young

Anyone can make a change

Anyone can be use by God

Regardless of their age

Just ask Moses, Abraham or David

So you’re not a Christian

Okay Rosa Parks wasn’t a teenager

When she refused to give up her bus seat

Joyce Meyers was in her 30’s

When she received her calling

Vera Wang was 40

Julia Child published her book at 50

I could go on and on

Tune out the negative noise

God doesn’t stop using us

Because of our ages

Retirement is man made

God has no limits

As to how and when

He choose to use us

We just have to keep a head’s up

For when God will be calling

On us to do His work

Black Love Day

Everyone already knows where I stand on the subject of black love. In my opinion love has no color, love is a feeling that joins two people together. Love is loving a person even when they are being unlovable and there will be days like that. If a person’s love has limitations then it isn’t love but perhaps the other four letter word which is lust. Many people confuse love and lust. If a person isn’t involved with you for the long haul then don’t entertain them at all. Don’t waste your time because life is too short for that.

Anyway back on topic Black Love Day was founded by Ayo Handy Kendi director of the African American Holiday Association in 1993. I never knew about Black Love Day until today one of my Facebook friends posted about it, she’s very knowledgeable. I’m very thankful for her posts I have learned so much from her.

Everyone has so many goals and that’s great what about a person to spend your life with. God created Eve for Adam He intended for us all to love. Today people don’t stick and stay because they don’t do things God’s way! I truly pray that everyone finds the person who God has for them. God doesn’t want us to be alone that’s why He made marriage and marriage is suppose to be until death.

When it comes to love there will be good days and bad days. The goods days helps a couple to weather the storm of the bad. The bad days gets a couple to draw strength so they can enjoy more good days. Love doesn’t fade. Love is patient and kind. Love is understanding. When a person truly loves a person one does whatever it takes to hold things together. When a couple truly love one another many test will come but they have to do the work to pass them. When a couple is truly in love outsiders will be jealous and will try to bring drama. A couple have to have trust and work as a team to keep negative things out. When two people love one another it’s forever regardless of their skin color. Can  I get a Woot Woot?!

Missing You Always

Some days are harder than others

Birthdays, holidays, a child’s birth

Wondering how it would be

If you were here with us

I really wish that you

Were on Earth

February 2nd is your birthday

February 3rd 1997 is the day and year

That  you left from here

So many things have taken place

Both good and bad

No matter what

I miss seeing your face

It’s 2017

20 years have gone by

Even now  I still cry

Memories help me to keep going

Like the circus blizzard of March 1980

5 months pregnant

Walking in the snow to

Come to get me off of the school bus

Millions of reasons why you have

And will always will be my hero

Hoping and praying that  I am able

To be at least a fraction of

A person that  you were

I miss you

Not just on Mother’s Day

Not just on Thanksgiving Day

Not just on Christmas Day

But every single day

There will always be

A huge hole in my heart

A band aid nor a first aid kit

Can fix the damage

It’s still hard to manage

Jesus has been my fence

Helping me with the healing

I feel so blue

Everyday that I live

I miss  you mom

You instilled in me

So many things

That are very helpful

Right to this very day

Which have been blessings

I won’t deny my feelings

I am human

I don’t know every answer

I don’t always understand

All  I know is everything

Works as part of God’s plan

Including those He chooses

To call home to Heaven

I continue to trust Him

Grateful for the time

We did spend

Thankful that you raised me

To know God Almighty

Because of that  I believe and know

That  I will see you again

Mom I miss you and  I love you

 

Matthew 5:4

 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

 

Culture Awareness

Recently I finished a course in Intercultural Competence and it taught me a lot of new things when it comes to interacting with different cultures. In order to become aware of other cultures it helps to become aware of your own. I have learned that once we understand others cultures; we can then appreciate them, establish a relationship and build an alliance. To build a strong community it takes a large number of people to make it work. Each culture is unique and has perspectives and strengths that any community can benefit from. Having an understanding of every culture can help us to overcome as well as avoid ethnic and racial divisions. A community can win when people don’t struggle with the vision of what a fair, moral and harmonious society is. There are many cultures and of course many of us would like to know about them all a good way to start is finding out about who lives in our community, the kind of diversity that already exists, the struggles that exist between the cultures, the struggles that are openly recognized and the kinds of issues that the different cultures have in common.

When it comes to having a community that is united there certain steps that should be taken and there are things that should not be done as well. Let’s use the African-American culture as an example there has been a lot of bad things that have taken place. There is still a lot of hurt that has turned into anger which is present in America to this very day. Even though I am an African-American one thing is true making people feel guilty for what their ancestors have done hundreds of years ago will not help diversity to become effective. People tend to change when they don’t feel condemned or guilt tripped. One day I saw a post from a Facebook friend she actually apologized for what her ancestors had done hundreds of years ago and I commented telling her that it was unnecessary. It may come as a shock to many but I get called names a lot like sellout and even accused of not being true to my culture. I have gotten slammed on several occasions all because of my views. My Christian beliefs help to keep me hopeful no matter how a situation looks like. In my opinion when it comes to bring cultures together everyone must be included, a solution of what can be done to solve the issues with hope of getting it done together is a huge step into the right direction. Having a strong community can only happen by  people working together from every culture this will help to build a strong relationship that has a core.

As I have written in the beginning getting to know one’s own culture and other cultures builds bridges that can connect people in addition recognizing the differences is important too. Many times people don’t want to recognize cultures differences out of fear that it may cause division however it’s actually on the contrary. Learning about other cultures can actually bring people closer together. When people are aware of other cultures they learn how to interact without negativity happening. A mind closed mind is not open to knowledge and so ignorance grows. It’s important that we all keep in mind that regardless of our cultures being different we all have feelings,we are human beings and we are all God’s Children.

Galatians 3:26

For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.