Thicker than a Snickers

If you came up in the 90s, you might be familiar with the phrase thicker than a snicker. Someone may get mad with me, but the line between thick and obesity is wider than most choose to believe. Literally. It’s time to become more health conscious. I have been on both sides of the fence, which is why I know that it’s more to it for most people who struggle with weight. It’s more like what is it that is eating the person. I’m an emotional eater. Once I realized what was going on, I was able to work on the problem.

Some men tell women that they want them to be thicker than snickers but complain when they become big as a brick house. Look I want to be healthy, and that’s the way that I am staying. Most of my family have the battled of the bulge. I am not shallow; it’s about my health. Some black women do care about being fit because they want to be healthy. Thankful for the Keto diet, it has changed my life.

Daily, I see some men who claim that they are not concerned about a woman’s weight when they should be. Women should look at men who say that they don’t care about her size. I mean, what man wouldn’t want his lady to be healthy? Obesity is the leading cause of high blood pressure and diabetes. Less than truthful men disgust me because honesty is what’s best. Being fit helps with not just being content with life but living well and living it to the fullest. Plus size clothing isn’t the only complaint, but it’s one of them they don’t fit well and let’s not start on the different color patterns. Not downing anyone, it’s hard to lose weight and keep it off. Losing weight helps with not just our physical state but our mental state as well.

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Leave It in the Past

Year after year goes by
And people tell themselves
That things will be different
This time
They make a new year’s resolution
As if it’s a magic potion or
An automatic solution
For whatever the problem may be
Still everything in life
Isn’t that easy
Some things are just
Too painful
When a person tells
You to leave things
In the past
Depending on what it is
It’s a sign of them
Having a lack of compassion
Or attempting to not deal
With a situation
Some situations have to be
Dealt with
Because they aren’t avoidable
One shouldn’t consider
Themselves a Christian
Is they have no empathy
For others
No one sat in school
And told the social studies teacher
To leave history
In the past
Or they would have failed
History class
Have they not heard
Of the saying
Those who don’t learn
For the past are
Doomed to repeat it
If certain situations
Are dealt with
How could it be left
In the past
The healing process
Can never began
Without acknowledging mistakes
That have caused pain
Things can’t just be
Swept under a rug
Try having understand
Before speaking as if
You do
Or you will only
Become part of the monster
Of a person’s past
Simply because you are
Trying to get past
A situation that you don’t
Want to deal with
Or don’t care about
Maybe because
It’s not you
Trying saying those
Words to a domestic violence survivor
Or family member
Of a murder victim
Be part of the solution
Not the salt being applied
To an already severe wound

It is Better to Have Loved

Growing up my mind was consumed
Of dreams of having a house
With a white picket fence
Stories of
Cinderella and Snow White
That consisted of highlights of a kiss given
That broke a horrible spell
Or being set free
From the bondage
Of an ungrateful wicked family
Who happiness
Was a beauty’s misery
Still the endings
Were always ones of
Happily ever afters
Then I grew up
And realised
That real love isn’t
A fairy tale
That true love
Sometimes consists of
Having an understanding
That a special moment
Is sometimes all that we are
Blessed to have
It could be the right person
But the wrong time
It could be the right time
But the wrong person
They may not be in a position
To give what is required
Even holding on
For longer than
We should can have long lasting
Consequences
I am not saying that
Having love isn’t important
Because it is
Love alone isn’t always enough
Is all that I am saying
Love is beautiful
Being in love is amazing
Even more so
When it’s mutual
When the love is true
The love is without boundaries
It’s given completely
Unapologetically
Free of the fear
Of being vulnerable
Not concerned about
Who loves who the most
Because true love is
Immeasurable
It’s a true treasure
With the heavy appraisal tag worth
Of being accountable and responsible
In order for things to work
Being prepared
For the possible
Finality of a relationship
That’s the reality of life
It’s loving a person enough
To let them go
Even though it
Was something
That we never dreamt of doing
It’s always wishing
Them well no matter what
The outcome is
If the feeling is the opposite
Then perhaps it wasn’t
Real love to begin with
True love isn’t selfish
It’s being totally committed
It’s being selfless
Real love, true love
Isn’t a fairy tale
Just by our judgment and actions alone
When we are in love
Shows that it’s not easy to
Create or imagine
It’s raw and not simple
Love doesn’t guarantee
That people won’t get hurt
Still as the famous
Quote goes
It is better to have loved
And lost than never to
Have loved at all

Depression

I have always been a huge fan of Linkin Park. Today is Chris Cornell’s birthday and it’s also the day that Chester Bennington passed away.

Chester was a close friend of Chris Cornell’s he sang at his funeral. Apparently the death of Chris hurt him deeply and so he became depressed.

It doesn’t matter who you are depression can happen to anyone. I am praying for anyone who may be battling depression. Depression is a tough battle that seems like it is never-ending.

Praying for Chris Cornell’s and Chester Bennington’s family.

May Chris and Chester rest in peace.

Family Estrangement

We all have heard the saying that you can pick your friends but you can’t pick your family. Family estrangement is a situation that no family is a stranger to. The source of the reasons why family estrangement occurs could be numerous. Siblings rivalry due to their parents or just plain old jealousy. We see it every single day on social media and television shows. Maury says that when he starts his day at work he thinks to himself another day of dysfunction. So why does everyone act so shocked about Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex family?
giphy-1
Some people feel that the Maury show is fake but make no mistake situations on the show does happen in real life. The other day I was watching one of his paternity shows featuring a set of twins who hated each other. One twin told the other twin’s child father that the baby wasn’t his. Now get this the twin who was giving the child’s father this information was sleeping with him. A lie detector test was given to the child’s father and lots of things came out including him possibly impregnating the twin who was causing all of this trouble. After everything was said and done it was proven that the child did belong to the father. Once these people got backstage the twin promised the twin who caused all the trouble that she was going to sleep with every man that she got with. How crazy is that? Dysfunction down to the very core.

Family estrangement seeps through on social media with people posting about their family members for everyone to see. It’s rare that the people who read the posts attempts to defuse the situation whether it’s because they find it entertaining or that they have become desensitized to a family destroying one another.

I get so tired of the media giving Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex estranged family so much attention. The dad is just riding on her coat tail if he really loves her then set her free. Lets not get started on her half-sister it’s obvious that she’s jealous. She attempted to stop the royal wedding if that isn’t jealousy then I don’t know what it is. Remember messengers have motives and the motives are never good. I pray that Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex marriage will withstand this and her estranged family will just go away.

Some relationships with people are like bent cans they are just too damaged to save. The more that we attempt to save a relationship with a family member who hurts us it only gives them an opportunity to do it again. It’s like trying to hold hands with Freddy Krueger it can’t happen because it would hurt too much. Sometimes we have to pray for people and love them from an Pacific ocean’s distance.

Whose Philosophy was Better?

I had an amazing conversation with one of my friends who is white. He is really concerned about the frequency of hate that is going on. I assured him that everything would be okay because things will be. He asked a interesting question it was whose philosophy did I agree with the most Martin Luther King Jr. or Malcolm X? I respect Malcolm X but I choose Martin Luther King Jr. it’s all about peace and love. The way that I think isn’t received well by some of the people of my race however there are some black people who think the same way as I do. A lot of the way that I think comes from the way that I was raised and my education too.

First off what happened in Charlottesville, Virginia was absolutely terrible everyone at least agrees on that. From my understanding the protest that was took place was pertaining to a confederate statue being removed forgive me if I am wrong. I have already written my views on the confederate flag. There are people who view the confederate flag as their heritage both blacks and whites. No,I do Not support hate I find it repulsive however everyone has the right to exercise their first amendment rights. Problems arise when things become violent which is never good.

Here’s the thing yes slavery took place and there was segregation years ago. Even though my mother grew up during the time of segregation; she was not racist. My mother did not raise me to hate anyone but to love everyone. I once went for classes to be able to volunteer at the YWCA one thing that stuck out during the classes was meeting people where they are. Positive things can happen when we meet people where they are. There are people my age bring up slavery and segregation we never encounter that; our ancestors did. There are white people my age and younger who feel like there have to pay for what their ancestors did. I will never forget how one of my Facebook friends apologized for what her ancestors did; it was heartbreaking. No one should have to feel like they have to pay for a debt of someone else’s wrongdoings, ancestors or not.

It is time for our country to start healing together. All white people aren’t racist. All black people aren’t criminals. Healing cannot be done if salt continues to be applied to a wound. When we cut ourselves from a fall or a paper cut the body immediately begins the healing process. I have two sons and I want them to live in a world that is better than what’s going on now. Going into the past doesn’t solve anything if nothing positive is being done about it. Answering hate with hate does not solve anything. As the great Martin Luther King Jr. once said “Darkness cannot drive out darkness;only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

Only Way Out

Today is Chris Cornell’s birthday and some devastating news occurred Chester Bennington took his life. Chester was the lead singer of Linkin Park. He was a close friend of Chris and was the godfather of his youngest child. Today was incredibly sad for me I had planned to listen to Chris Cornell sing all day.

I know a lot of people think that suicide is a selfish act. I believe that it’s a cry for help. Chester sang at Chris’s funeral perhaps it devastated him more than we all knew. I feel sorry for his wife and children. When a person commits suicide they not only leave the people who loved them behind but with unanswered questions. I know that there have been reports of Chester abusing alcohol and drugs. He also battled with depression. Whatever the case was with Chester we will never know what was going on in his head. He was hurting so bad that he saw suicide as his only way out.

We never know what a person is going through if you can’t be kind to them then pray for them. We never want to be responsible for pushing a hurting person over the edge. It doesn’t matter who the person is. It doesn’t matter how rich they are. It doesn’t matter how famous they are. Just like REM sang everybody hurts sometimes. We must reach out to people. If a person shows signs of suicidal tendencies seek help for them immediately. Do not take it lightly.