Whose Philosophy was Better?

I had an amazing conversation with one of my friends who is white. He is really concerned about the frequency of hate that is going on. I assured him that everything would be okay because things will be. He asked a interesting question it was whose philosophy did I agree with the most Martin Luther King Jr. or Malcolm X? I respect Malcolm X but I choose Martin Luther King Jr. it’s all about peace and love. The way that I think isn’t received well by some of the people of my race however there are some black people who think the same way as I do. A lot of the way that I think comes from the way that I was raised and my education too.

First off what happened in Charlottesville, Virginia was absolutely terrible everyone at least agrees on that. From my understanding the protest that was took place was pertaining to a confederate statue being removed forgive me if I am wrong. I have already written my views on the confederate flag. There are people who view the confederate flag as their heritage both blacks and whites. No,I do Not support hate I find it repulsive however everyone has the right to exercise their first amendment rights. Problems arise when things become violent which is never good.

Here’s the thing yes slavery took place and there was segregation years ago. Even though my mother grew up during the time of segregation; she was not racist. My mother did not raise me to hate anyone but to love everyone. I once went for classes to be able to volunteer at the YWCA one thing that stuck out during the classes was meeting people where they are. Positive things can happen when we meet people where they are. There are people my age bring up slavery and segregation we never encounter that; our ancestors did. There are white people my age and younger who feel like there have to pay for what their ancestors did. I will never forget one of my Facebook friend’s apologizing for what her ancestors did; it was heartbreaking. No one should have to feel like they have to pay for a debt of someone else’s wrong doing, ancestors or not.

It is time for our country to start healing together. All white people aren’t racist. All black people aren’t criminals. Healing cannot be done if salt continues to be applied to a wound. When we cut ourselves from a fall or a paper cut the body immediately begins the healing process. I have two sons and I want them to live in a world that is better than what’s going on now. Going into the past doesn’t solve anything if nothing positive is being done about it. Answering hate with hate does not solve anything. As the great Martin Luther King Jr. once said “Darkness cannot drive out darkness;only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

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Only Way Out

Today is Chris Cornell’s birthday and some devastating news occurred Chester Bennington took his life. Chester was the lead singer of Linkin Park. He was a close friend of Chris and was the godfather of his youngest child. Today was incredibly sad for me I had planned to listen to Chris Cornell sing all day.

I know a lot of people think that suicide is a selfish act. I believe that it’s a cry for help. Chester sang at Chris’s funeral perhaps it devastated him more than we all knew. I feel sorry for his wife and children. When a person commits suicide they not only leave the people who loved them behind but with unanswered questions. I know that there have been reports of Chester abusing alcohol and drugs. He also battled with depression. Whatever the case was with Chester we will never know what was going on in his head. He was hurting so bad that he saw suicide as his only way out.

We never know what a person is going through if you can’t be kind to them then pray for them. We never want to be responsible for pushing a hurting person over the edge. It doesn’t matter who the person is. It doesn’t matter how rich they are. It doesn’t matter how famous they are. Just like REM sang everybody hurts sometimes. We must reach out to people. If a person shows signs of suicidal tendencies seek help for them immediately. Do not take it lightly.

Don’t Be A Fool Being A Bully Isn’t Cool

Today I read a very disturbing post an eleven year old girl committed suicide. The little girl was a victim of bullying. Even more heartbreaking about the story was who found her body it was her three year old sister. The little girl who committed suicide saw no way out except for taking her life. Bullies are a huge situation that should not be ignored. Children aren’t the only bullies adults can be too which is actually sadder. There are different types of bullying it’s important that we know what they are so we can spot them.

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Bullying affect people in negative ways it can push people to the point of no return. Children deserve to experience a happy life that’s bully free. I feel sorry for the bullies too hurt people hurt others. Many times bullies feel insecurities inside so they pick on other people. Bullies most times are bigger than their peers physically and have trouble at home.

Society really has things stacked up against parents with the internet, promotion of violence and disrespect of others it’s a lot for parents to monitor. I’m old schooled so the main thing I would tell another parents is to keep a open line of communication with your children. Pay attention to your children so you can notice if they are withdrawn, angry or sad remember children are very scared when it comes to a bullying situation. Parents should talk with their children’s teacher if they sense a problem. Teachers must report any problems to the principal or the dean most importantly inform the parents about everything.

I also touched on adults sometimes being bullies too because it’s the truth many of them use social media to publicly humiliate others. When it comes to adult bullies others should not back what they are doing causing them to stop. Bullies feed of the power off of having an audience and fear. Let’s make this clear one is a fool if they think being a bully is cool. If you are a bully who is an adult you are a even bigger fool… so grow up.

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Let’s pray for people who are being bullied and ask God to protect them from harm. Be a bully nor quietly observing mistreatment of another person is not cool. What if it was you? What would  you do? What would you want to see happen?

Missing You Always

Some days are harder than others

Birthdays, holidays, a child’s birth

Wondering how it would be

If you were here with us

I really wish that you

Were on Earth

February 2nd is your birthday

February 3rd 1997 is the day and year

That  you left from here

So many things have taken place

Both good and bad

No matter what

I miss seeing your face

It’s 2017

20 years have gone by

Even now  I still cry

Memories help me to keep going

Like the circus blizzard of March 1980

5 months pregnant

Walking in the snow to

Come to get me off of the school bus

Millions of reasons why you have

And will always will be my hero

Hoping and praying that  I am able

To be at least a fraction of

A person that  you were

I miss you

Not just on Mother’s Day

Not just on Thanksgiving Day

Not just on Christmas Day

But every single day

There will always be

A huge hole in my heart

A band aid nor a first aid kit

Can fix the damage

It’s still hard to manage

Jesus has been my fence

Helping me with the healing

I feel so blue

Everyday that I live

I miss  you mom

You instilled in me

So many things

That are very helpful

Right to this very day

Which have been blessings

I won’t deny my feelings

I am human

I don’t know every answer

I don’t always understand

All  I know is everything

Works as part of God’s plan

Including those He chooses

To call home to Heaven

I continue to trust Him

Grateful for the time

We did spend

Thankful that you raised me

To know God Almighty

Because of that  I believe and know

That  I will see you again

Mom I miss you and  I love you

 

Matthew 5:4

 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

 

Yes You Are

You don’t need L’Oreal to tell you that you are worth it. God shows us our worth everyday. Never leave it up to someone else to tell you your worth. Never let a person treat you less than the way that you deserve. We have to trust God always He will guide us to who and what is right. Here’s some cool memes:

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The Letter

My life keeps getting more and more interesting by each and every minute. I’m a huge fan of the movie Immortal Beloved it’s based on the life of Beethoven. There are so many parts of the movie I love the actor Gary Oldman did a fantastic job. Gary Oldman brought the movie to life he’s a brilliant actor underrated for sure. This movie came out in 1994 perhaps my top favorite thing besides the music was a letter that Beethoven wrote to the woman that he truly loved. Ahhhhh yes I love the words “ever thine ever mine ever ours”  words from a great man. I know what you are thinking what is Tameeka talking about now? I’ll be getting to that in a minute. My ex and I are like polar opposites it’s the truth. I don’t hate him I just look back at what we had as a life lesson. It is what it is. The posts that I write are to encourage and inspire somebody. I believe that there is someone somewhere who’s going through what I am going through. Anyway back on topic.

It’s amazing when you are trying to move on things from the past fall out of nowhere. I found a letter written by my soon to be ex husband from five years ago. That’s right five years ago. I think the purpose of the letter is for closure. It wasn’t about the letter being from him it was about what was in it. He wrote me many different letters it’s weird that this one suddenly appears. Out of all the letters written why this one I have moved from one address to another and this letter pops up. The letter had several different questions so I assume that perhaps these are unanswered questions that he may have. I will answer the questions in this post it’s not like he’ll ever read it anyway it’s all about closure. Closure is definitely a great thing.

When my ex ask questions he always wants it done with a “simple yes or no” well things aren’t always that easy.  The paragraph starts with,”Let me ask you these questions because it seems that I am not getting a straight answer from you just answer these questions with a yes or no let’s keep it simple”. Do you still want to be with me? Do you even miss me? Do you love me? Why you ain’t never  say that you love me? Do you regret being with me? When my ex got locked up it made me very angry. I wanted an intact family and it got destroyed so I was angry for a long time. When he was sentenced in 2007 I called about the status and when the lady told me 240 months I was devastated. My world came crashing down life that I knew had changed. I’m no different from other mothers I wanted the house with the white picketed fence things were ruined in a blink of an eye. At the time I did miss him it wasn’t about the financial help our sons were growing up without him. He missed out on a huge chunk of our children’s lives so many memories he will never have. Did I love him ever yes I did. It’s amazing how people can’t see how a person loved them. I showed it and told him that too. I never regretted being with my ex it took him to make our two sons. Our sons are like an exact replica of us it’s quite astonishing. I never regretted him and I never will.

I believe that closure can only happen when things are faced or we will continue to think about things and reliving things that have been long over. Being stuck in the past only robs the present which is a gift. I can’t change what happened but I have forgiven my ex as well let go of lots of anger. My ex needs to let go of his anger as well because there’s no sense in it. I pray for my ex’s salvation because he doesn’t believe in Christ. I pray that God touches his heart in a mighty way that the next marriage he has is a blessed one. In order for him to have a blessed union he has to let go of the anger and the hate it will only poison all of his relationships including the ones with our children. Taking the same old bricks into a new relationship will only destroy it and I don’t want our children to ever blame themselves. Father God touch my ex’s heart so it will soften and he let’s You in so that You can give him a new start. Lord You know that I mean every word and it’s coming from the heart. Please handle it Father God everything is in Your Hands. I thank You in advanced. Amen.

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things passed away; all things are become new.

Heartbreak

Having your heart broken has to be one of the worst feelings in the world. It’s something that we have all experienced at one point in our lives. I could be wrong but I think the reason why getting your heart broken hurts so much is because love is powerful. Love can make anyone fall head over heels whether they choose to admit it or not. We find ourselves doing things that we thought we never would do and when we do those things that’s a sign of being in love. It’s not a bad thing being vulnerable and giving the one that you love your all. So what happens how does things end? Who knows it could be a number of reasons people drift apart and when that happens a downward spiral begins the lying as well as the cheating occurs. There’s so much pain that can happen it’s so devastating. Dealing with betrayal is never easy for anyone.

In my opinion if you ever loved a person at all forgive them and give them to God. I know what you are saying really Tameeka? Yes I mean what I am saying. Forgiveness is for the person who is doing the forgiving. Bitterness and anger doesn’t solve anything it only slows down the healing process. We all deserve to feel better life is just too short to hold grudges and not forgive. I know when a breakup first occurs it hurts more than anything we can imagine but we have to let it go and trust God. If a person that you once love did you wrong then trust God to make it right. Being honest doesn’t cost anything to do but if a person chooses not be forgive them anyway. God will take care of all of our hurt and pain. God doesn’t fix one area of our lives and not another. God is committed to us fully. He can repair a broken heart but we have to be willing to give him our hearts. God can do anything. Trust Him today.

Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”