It’s Done

You and I are no longer
The indication
Of this grows stronger
Each day that passes by
There is no need for
Making any kind
Of insinuations
Pertaining to this situation
We are both guilty
Of the demise
Of our marriage
And it’s final destination
Yours was infidelity
Which I gave you
Multiple opportunities
Like the game of baseball
You always struck out
Mines was people pleasing
Doing whatever it took
To make my family happy
Even though it left
Our finances drowning
We both fooled ourselves
About what marriage
Was about
We got it wrong
We was young
We was dumb
This is without a doubt
God may not have
Ordained our marriage
However marriage doesn’t
Have to be ordained
For it to be valid
Marriage is a covenant
Made by God
He expects a
Full commitment
When two people
Enters into it
There will be ups and downs
That’s when a couple must fight
They can’t be weak
And throw in the towel
It’s only taking
The easy way out
Once two people come
Together under the law
Of marriage that
Is suppose to be it
I’m sorry that we wasn’t
Strong enough
I’m sorry that we couldn’t
Tough it out
Or understand
The importance of marriage
I’ll accept your apology
And I pray that someday
You will accept mine
There’s always room
For an apology
As long as it’s sincere
If a heart is open
There’s always room
For forgiveness
A testimony
Will come out of this
I am not sure
How or what it will be
Over time we will see

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The Pain of Divorce

I absolutely cannot stress this enough divorce is a humongous deal. In the past  I have opened up about my separation and divorce. Divorce is ugly period it’s never good because it affects so many people especially the children. What  I can’t stand about certain situations like divorce people want to be private so they suffer in silence. Recently I saw a heartbreaking post on Facebook about a woman who was going through a divorce. She would post about the pain of her divorce apparently it wasn’t received well amongst some of her Facebook friends. To make a long story short she had no one to turn to and so she took her life. I feel so sorry for her children this will make it even harder for them.

At times I get so sick of this horrible world with the heartless people in it. I know that there’s a God and  I know that He’s sitting on His throne. God will correct the wrongs and heal the hurting hearts. I know that none of us are God but if you come across a hurting person be kind always. The best thing that we all can do once we have done everything that we can is pray.

Father God In Heaven,

My prayer to You is to please guide people to marry the right people. Once You bring two people together have it so that they understand the vows that You made. Have it rooted in the married couples that at times better could become worse, that sickness may come, that they can have it all one day and lose it all the next. Father God help them to stay strong in You. Have a married couple understand that tough times don’t last but tough people do. Father God on the days when one of them become unlovable have their love for You to be more stronger so that it will keep their marriage together. Have a married couple to take their eyes off of the world and fixed on You. This wicked world at times has no concept of the beauty of marriage Father God only You can keep a marriage strong. I pray also for the couples who are separated may their marriage be restored and that they come back together stronger than ever. Father God I know that You hate divorce however if it comes to that please forgive those who have divorced. Have every marriage experience many years of happiness and their children too. Most of all thank You Father God for all that You do and what You are about to do. In Jesus Precious Name

Amen

Happy Birthday Dad

There is so much to love about February like it being a month away from spring, the month of one of my favorite president’s birthday, black history month and (drum roll please) my step-dad’s birthday. My step-dad is one of the greatest people that  I know.

I love my step-dad I really do. There are so many reasons why  I appreciate him. My step-dad has been in my life every since  I was about ten years old. He always helped my mom to  make things happen. My mother and step-dad had no children together but he treated us like his own. When my mother became sick he never left her side.

In 1997 my mother passed away from cancer. The funeral that my mother had was loaded with people who told my sisters and  I that they had our backs. As time went on the people at the funeral faded away but step-dad stayed. My step-dad never went anywhere he’s always been there for my sisters and I.

My step-dad still talks a lot about my mother even though she has been gone twenty years. I love one of  the stories that  he tells me one year my sisters and  I wanted bikes. He told my mom maybe they should get two bikes but my mother told him if all of us can’t get a bike then no one can. When my sisters and I woke up on Christmas day there were four bikes by the tree one for each of us.

I value my step-dad very much and pray that God blesses him with many more birthdays. In today’s society it’s a treasure to find a person who values you and your children without motives. My step-dad is a really great dad and  I am so glad that  I am blessed to have him in my life.

Spiritual Maturity

I will not and do not pretend that  I have it all together however I will say that  I am a woman who has learned from her mistakes. One of the biggest mistakes that  I have done in the past is allowing my emotions to control me. Too many times we live off of our emotions, when we live from off of our emotions we don’t make wise choices. Spiritual maturity is knowing how to manage our feelings and not allowing them to manage us. Its good to have feelings they help us to be able to relate to others we can empathize and have compassion but we can’t allow our feelings to lead us the wrong way. There can be no spiritual growth as long as we follow our feelings, we have to know what feels wrong but choose to do what is right.

The enemy mission is to kill, steal and destroy the one thing he wants the most is to kill our faith; he tries to do this during times of trouble. How we respond to the enemy attacks is to not act like him but act like Christ. I speak about marriage a whole lot it’s a covenant that was created by God; marriage is one of the best examples of commitment. Marriage is a beautiful thing especially when it has God as the foundation. So many marriages end in divorce because people go into it with unrealistic ideas of what marriage is. A word of advice if you are standing in front of the pastor exchanging vows with the thought of if this doesn’t work than….. Do Not Get Married!!! Divorce should not be an option if a marriage encounters problems. Marriages have problems sometimes  I don’t care how great it is at times. The vows have for better or worse let’s focused on both words because they are both important. When people first get married everything is new but after awhile it will wear off commitment is suppose to step in, it takes a marriage to a deeper level which is more solid.

When  I get married again  I want a husband that is committed to me once the excitement and newness wear off. I want a husband who loves Christ more than I do, is loyal, faithful, true, a leader and is tougher than the toughest times that we encounter. Commitment is strength and not giving up just because things don’t feel good anymore. A great marriage strength is in it’s commitment and not just feelings alone; it’s a sign of true victory!!  Remember a marriage will lose it’s newness like a brand new car but you will still keep the car right? True commitment is staying committed to the very end.

I’ve come along way and  I have been through a lot but I thank God for all of it. Everyday  I make the commitment to put on love, kindness and patience regardless of the situation or how I feel. People have disappointed me,betrayed me, let me down and hurt me even after  I have been nice to them. I feel sorry for people who are always angry it’s a sign that they are operating off of emotions alone and that is never good. Regardless of how people treat me  I am still going to do things on purpose like love those who have hurt me and pray for them. Hurt people hurt others healed people heal others I am healed!! I am always counting the cost of every move that  I make and I am walking in love too. Thankful so much for becoming strong spiritually off of the Word of God.

Colossians 3:14

And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.

Wedding Rings

I truly believe that healed people heal others that’s why  I don’t mind discussing events that have taken place in my life it’s done with the hopes of helping someone else. Think about the Bible everyone in it had some sort of battle that they all overcame with God’s help of course. God wanted us to see ordinary people tackle everyday problems with the help of an extraordinary God!

Back on topic it seems like every channel I watch are promoting commercials about wedding rings it’s Christmas which is the time when most people get engaged. A wedding ring though it is a small piece of jewelry it’s meaning is very significant. A wedding ring is worn on the fourth finger on the left hand because it was believed that the vein in the fourth finger ran directly to the heart. It’s sad that some people don’t take wearing their wedding rings seriously which is the reason marriage end it’s not taken seriously. Marriage is a covenant and not a contract; God intended it to last for a lifetime. A marriage can only survive on the foundation that is Christ based, loving freely and unconditionally committing. Marriage is not something that we pick and choose to do when we want to. I wish that  I knew these things years ago I sure hope that this help someone somewhere.

So marry the person who you can’t see yourself without. Marry the person who is your best friend. Marry the person who regardless of who comes along your love reminds strong.  Marry the one who you can’t stop thinking about or talking to. Marry the one who makes you better and even when you don’t feel your best they treat you like you are. Marry the one that even if the ring came from a bubble machine they would wear it proudly.

Wear your wedding ring always it’s not about the value of it but about the person whom you are married to for they are priceless.

wedding-rings

Genesis 2:24

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Bittersweet

I’ve prayed about it

I’ve allowed God to handle it

I’ve made room to forgive

It’s over

It’s finally over

Now I can

Start to experience closure

Trying to describe how

I’m feeling right now

It’s like trying to describe

The taste of water

As I have gotten older

I have realized that

Trying to reflect back on memories

It’s like physically trying to look

Over your shoulder

I’m just not that flexible

I’ve tried my very best

Yet in some cases

Ended up with less

There’s no need to cry over spilled milk

There’s absolutely no sense in it

I’m still blessed regardless

I just look at things as

Life learned lessons

Many things took place

Between you and I

You have no idea

Of how many tears

That I have cried

I really tired

Deep down inside

Apart of me feels like it wants to die

Yet there’s so much

That I would like to forget

I know that you had a purpose

After all we have two great kids

Here I go again

I have to stop this

I have to begin

The healing process

I have to do it

I have strength

It’s weird still

A small part of

This situation I can’t grasp

Am I still in love

Yeah right don’t make me laugh

The way that you act

Your middle name should be

Jackass or dumbass

Because you played a huge part

Of helping to put something that

Could have been special into the past

I won’t blame you totally

I also share responsibility

This ending is bittersweet

I came across a thought

Of you I actually smiled

And I felt a tear roll down my cheek

Yet I’m fine if we never speak

You have to leave

Something behind in order

To go forward

The hardest part of moving on

Is putting the pieces

Of your broken heart back together

And be brave enough to love again

It’s finally the end

It’s a tough pill to swallow

Tough to accept that we didn’t work out

A fresh start isn’t bad

I know that God has my back

So there’s no need to be sad

He Showed Me

As I have shared I am a Christian woman who is going through a divorce. Divorce is not good it affects everyone that’s involved in one way or another especially the children. Divorce is hard because when you get married the goal is for it to last forever. I’m very old fashioned so I was kicking myself the whole time about my divorce up until recently. In the beginning I did what I could to get pass the idea of divorce. Besides me feeling like the marriage was a failure what’s more important than my feelings?? God’s of course God hates divorce. Even though in the law it’s written that for certain reasons God allows divorce the way He feels about divorce is quite the opposite.

The other day I watched a video about divorce that was confirmation so now I am set free about my failed marriage. While I was devastated about things before I have since let go and let God. Believe it or not good things have come out of my failed marriage. I have grown so much and I really want to help other people prior to marriage and during too. Marriage is nothing like a relationship it’s important for people to understand the seriousness of it. Marriage is far more than a piece of paper if you get involved with a person that thinks that way then you need to find out why.

I have a lot of advice while everyone is different there are still many things that are the same when it comes to marriage. Number one always treat your spouse with respect, never disrespect them in front of others, and never speak against them to others even your parents. Number two communicate no one is born a mind reader so if something is bothering you say it. Number three once you are married forget the single minded mentality you are one money and alllll. When it comes to money always let your spouse know about all spending and lending. I know people have crisis but let your spouse know when you are helping someone. Number four always be loving to your King and Queen I know that life gets busy but always make time for your spouse this is the person whom you want to spend the rest of your life with. Number five above everything keep God first. God gives structure to our lives I don’t care what anybody says or thinks if God was in my marriage things would have been better.

I am praying for everyone who are about to get married, who are married and those who maybe experiencing problems. My prayer is that everyone turns to God for help. There is no problem that He can not solve. I don’t ever want anyone to feel as I do being thankful for a video for confirmation. If I had God as the foundation of the marriage things would have been different. I’m fine with being able to share my story as a way to help others. I pray that my post will help somebody. God bless everyone.