Writing What Matters to Me

I once heard a person say that “a writer writes something every day”. Hmmmm, I am not so sure about that. It’s quality over quantity always. When I first started my blogging journey I wrote like I was writing in a diary really, really relaxed. The subjects that I shared were always interesting but I had to become more aware of my grammar. Overall, I am proud of my blog. I wanted to do something that had lots of interesting things. Having mind blowing posts that sticks leaving a lasting impression. That’s what I am aiming for. I believe also that I should do things that makes me feel that I am being true to myself. If not, why should I blog at all?

Growing up I always loved writing especially poems. I have been writing poems every since I was a teenager. Blogging allows me to dive into others things that are important to me as well. As I have said there is only but so much that I can say on Facebook without someone not feeling what I am saying.

I will do whatever it takes to keep my blog going. Since I am so passionate about what I write I refuse to fold when it comes to my blog. The things that I talk about needs to be said I am not about saying things so that it goes over people’s heads. Nope, nope, and nope.

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Valuable Lesson

There are so many things that I have learned over the years some of the things were hard lessons. Although it’s said that experience is the best teacher in some cases I would like to elect not to take the lesson.

The job where I worked in the 90s had a lot of great people. I enjoyed going to work just to see them. My friend and I met one another at this job. We became great friends instantly. She was a big help to me when my mother past away in 1997 with her support. At my mother’s funeral I can’t tell you the number of people who promised to have mine and my sisters’ backs. I can tell you the number that kept their promises, it was about five people perhaps. My mother’s funeral was packed with people too. When tough times hits you find out who your true friends are. I didn’t need money I needed a listening ear and she was there. I had a lot of responsibility on me at the time.

Recently, I reconnected with my best friend. About ten years ago I saw her while I was at work and we talked for a few months sadly we lost contact. To be honest I was going out with a guy was extremely jealous and selfish. Thankfully I broke up with him it was one of the best decisions that I have ever made in my life.

It’s important when people are in relationships or marriages to make sure that the person is happy but not at the expense of losing friendships and family. It’s a big red flag when a companion wants you all to themselves. So run for the hills.

Anywho, my friend was on my mind and so I looked for her on social media. I could not find my friend anywhere on social media. She doesn’t have any social media at all. While I was searching for her I found out that some of the people my friend and I worked with passed away. It really hurt me too. Especially when I found out that her mother passed away during the time that we had lost contact. I was devastated, it’s a feeling that I don’t want to know ever again.

It’s so important to stay connected to the people who we care about. Money can always be earned back but time once it’s gone that’s it. The most valuable lesson that I learned is to never lose contact with great friends. I promised my friend that I would not lose contact with her ever again. Great friends are hard to find. They are like precious diamonds. We should hold our friends tight and never let them go. I know that’s what I am going to be doing from now on.

To My BFF

We have been friends
Since the 90s
You have always been there for me
Over the years
There have been situations
That have occurred
Which helped me to grow
As well as appreciate people
And the lessons that
They have taught
Many people have crossed
My path
Some have remained
Some have changed
Into people I don’t remember
And some have became total strangers
I have realized that true friends
Have a calling in our lives
You and I can go years
Without talking
But once we talk
It’s like we never
Missed anytime at all
I don’t want us
To go lots of years again
Time is flying
It should be spent
Hanging out and making memories
Life is short
I want you to stay in my present
So that you will be in my future
We have so much in common
Especially our birthdays
Both are in May
Yours in on the 14th
Mines is on the 17th
Taurus Baby
That Brahma Bull
We are kind
We are loyal
I am so thankful for you
My BFF

Are We Obligated?

More and more I am seeing other people in my race asking this question “Are we obligated”. Just because we share the same skin color doesn’t mean that we support or think the same way.

I have always thought differently from the black collective. No, I don’t support things that will cause division. If a black person says people can support who they want in politics or people can love who they choose. They had better get ready for the pushbacks and attacks. The main attacks are the name calling and the public humiliation. It’s all silencing tactics and frankly no I don’t want to align myself with people who will attack as soon as you don’t agree about something.

ZomboMeme 13022018164831

Here are the facts, yes white people have done things in the past but Not to me directly, the people who hurt me the most look like me. During the month of black history, there needs to be more honesty about what the black race did to each other.

In my opinion, we can never move forward as a race without placing the blame where it belongs. Everything isn’t the white people’s fault. Sorry but not sorry. I’m just being honest.

I Get It Now

Yesterday on Facebook I spoke out against gun control. I’m so thankful for my blog because it reminds me of the reason why I started it. People always tell me to speak for myself but when I do, I end up hitting someone’s nerve. I’m all for people having their own opinions but I can’t tolerate dealing with people who can’t see anything else, a debate becomes a headache instantly.

The post that I wrote said,” Everyone wants to talk about gun control but no one wants to talk about broken homes”. Oh! Why did I say that?! Here comes the backlash!

Everyone wants to talk about mass murders but no one wants to talk about what started it all prior to the person pulling the trigger. Bullying, delinquent associates, substance abuse, untreated mental illnesses and so forth all goes back to a child’s upbringing. Poor family relations and poor parental supervision are some of the reasons for the lack of parental intervention. No one wants to address the potential risk and need factors before the violence occurs.

Now please don’t misunderstand me I am sorry for the lives that were lost in violent crimes. I just don’t feel that gun control is the solution. People want a quick fix to more than likely a problem that they may have helped to contribute to. Its let’s take the guns away but don’t talk about poor home training. Everything isn’t a microwave fix sometimes a stove has to be used. Modern times have spoiled some people, they want quick fixes without putting in the work.

No one wants to talk about some women not using birth control or caring about the kind of partner they are having children with (who will soon be absent). The crazy thing is that some of the very people who support abortion feel that it’s okay to take away a person’s right to bear arms.

Like I said, “it’s all fun and games to talk about taking away someone else’s right until it’s something that they care about”. I’m being honest some of the black people who are for gun control because of the mass shootings are the same ones who get upset when black on black crime is mentioned. Some black people want to talk about the crazy white kid who committed mass murder but doesn’t care about a black kid being shot on the street corner. That’s when the snitches get stitches come in to play and no one says a word that could help to solve a murder. Some black people are selective about certain causes. Yes. I said it. They rather talk about the broken homes happening overseas. They don’t want to talk about the 72% out of wedlock rate that is climbing. The children born out of wedlock will want to know where they came from and why their parent is absent. It is selfish for adults to mess up as parents and expect their children to be okay. There are no do-overs in parenting it’s easier to fix a damaged kid than a broken adult. These broken people go out into the world, become society’s problem and sometimes people get hurt.

I am convinced more than ever that everything that I experienced growing up has lead up to this moment. I used to be ashamed about the pain from my childhood but now I want to help others. I get it now my past has molded me and now I am speaking out.

While growing up in a broken home
All I ever wanted
Was if I was blessed to become a mother
That my children would not experience
The same thing
My father was abusive
My mother struggled
She did her best of raising me
More important than the
Time spent, home cooking, cooking lessons
Was teaching me about Christ,
Responsibility and accountability
People say that the best way
To reach others is to be
Able to relate
To their pain
To their upbringing
I get it now
Everything that happened in my life
Was meant for something greater
People speak of gun control
But no one wants to speak
About the dysfunction
That is produced from a broken home
Serial killers, mass murders, bombers,
Black on black crime, terrorist etc.
All of these people are apart of situations
Where innocent people were killed
Not all by guns
When people want to kill
They don’t always use guns
One way or another
They will find a way to get it done
They will do what they set out to do
It’s time for me
To speak the truth
Being silent
There is no use
I get it now

My Lane

As I get older I find myself traveling down memory lane, thinking of what could have been then I am bought back to reality, things are how they are supposed to be. When I was nineteen I attended college for a short time then I began working at a convenience store thinking what I was making was big money guess what? I wasn’t. I should have stayed in college I allowed my contentment with substituting pennies for dollars. I allowed my contentment for a small paycheck to be bigger than a career with the benefits of a 401k. I am now back in college with two children even though it’s never too late for a change. I can’t deny that my decisions has a lot to do with my present life.

Now that I am older I understand that I will follow through with my goals. I will run my race because I want to get to my destination which can’t be done trying to run someone else’s. I have grown. I trust God’s guidance and Not my own. I trust God with my life’s outcome. Every day I tell myself these things:
My life
My lane
My choices
My mistakes
My lessons
My testimonies
My destiny
My God shall direct my path and supply my every need.

Victim or Victor?

First off I would like to share that I have four more courses left and I will receive my Bachelor’s degree. After I receive my Bachelor’s degree I will pursue a Master’s degree. I have to thank God for all that He has done for me!

Now that I have gotten that part out of the way, currently I am taking a course in Victimology. Victimology is the scientific study of physical, emotional, and financial harm people endure because of illegal activities. One of my discussion questions was about victim blaming. Victim blaming is when the victim is made responsible for a wrongdoing that occurred to them. Victim blaming isn’t always fair people who live in poverty are assumed to be lazy or unmotivated which isn’t always the case some things happen that’s beyond one’s control. This course got me to thinking a lot.

I grew up in a Christian home and I am very proud about this. Along the way in my life, I have made mistakes that had nothing to do with God. God gives us free will and I chose to live Not according to His Will so I paid the price. I made my bed so I have to lay in it until I get to where I am meant to be. I am not a person who constantly blame others and never myself. The victim role isn’t my thing I want to be victorious but it can’t happen if I am constantly blaming people and licking my wounds.

People may look at my life from the outside it may look one way but trust me it will turn out another way. People look at being rich in money and things as being successful that is not true being content is being rich. Rich people have more problems than anyone. Like Biggie said “More money more problems”. I would be happy just being able to take great care of my sons, be healthy, physically, mentally, and emotionally as well as number one have a relationship with God. Understand this it’s not about being rich in things I never will be, I am responsible for where I am and not God. I am rich because I have grown from my mistakes and I know better so I am doing better. God has given us so many examples that we can learn from like making mistakes in life is like losing weight change won’t happen overnight but if you stay consistent it will.

So what do I mean by all of this? Are we going to be a victim or victor? Have I made mistakes in the past? Yes, and I have grown from them. I probably will make mistakes in the future. We have to sometimes make wrong turns before making right ones. I choose to evaluate myself before I blame anyone else. I choose to be victorious!