Married

It’s Done

You and I are no longer
The indication
Of this grows stronger
Each day that passes by
There is no need for
Making any kind
Of insinuations
Pertaining to this situation
We are both guilty
Of the demise
Of our marriage
And it’s final destination
Yours was infidelity
Which I gave you
Multiple opportunities
Like the game of baseball
You always struck out
Mines was people pleasing
Doing whatever it took
To make my family happy
Even though it left
Our finances drowning
We both fooled ourselves
About what marriage
Was about
We got it wrong
We was young
We was dumb
This is without a doubt
God may not have
Ordained our marriage
However marriage doesn’t
Have to be ordained
For it to be valid
Marriage is a covenant
Made by God
He expects a
Full commitment
When two people
Enters into it
There will be ups and downs
That’s when a couple must fight
They can’t be weak
And throw in the towel
It’s only taking
The easy way out
Once two people come
Together under the law
Of marriage that
Is suppose to be it
I’m sorry that we wasn’t
Strong enough
I’m sorry that we couldn’t
Tough it out
Or understand
The importance of marriage
I’ll accept your apology
And I pray that someday
You will accept mine
There’s always room
For an apology
As long as it’s sincere
If a heart is open
There’s always room
For forgiveness
A testimony
Will come out of this
I am not sure
How or what it will be
Over time we will see

The Pain of Divorce

I absolutely cannot stress this enough divorce is a humongous deal. In the past  I have opened up about my separation and possible divorce. Divorce is ugly period it’s never good because it affects so many people especially the children. What  I can’t stand about certain situations like divorce people want to be private so they suffer in silence. Recently I saw a heartbreaking post on Facebook about a woman who was going through a divorce. She would post about the pain of her divorce apparently it wasn’t received well amongst some of her Facebook friends. To make a long story short she had no one to turn to and so she took her life. I feel so sorry for her children this will make it even harder for them.

At times I get so sick of this horrible world with the heartless people in it. I know that there’s a God and  I know that He’s sitting on His throne. God will correct the wrongs and heal the hurting hearts. I know that none of us are God but if you come across a hurting person be kind always. The best thing that we all can do once we have done everything that we can is pray.

Father God In Heaven,

My prayer to You is to please guide people to marry the right people. Once You bring two people together have it so that they understand the vows that You made. Have it rooted in the married couples that at times better could become worse, that sickness may come, that they can have it all one day and lose it all the next. Father God help them to stay strong in You. Have a married couple understand that tough times don’t last but tough people do. Father God on the days when one of them become unlovable have their love for You to be more stronger so that it will keep their marriage together. Have a married couple to take their eyes off of the world and fixed on You. This wicked world at times has no concept of the beauty of marriage Father God only You can keep a marriage strong. I pray also for the couples who are separated may their marriage be restored and that they come back together stronger than ever. Father God I know that You hate divorce. I pray that You remove the word divorce as a go to as a way to solve a marriage problem. Have every marriage experience many years of happiness and their children too. Most of all thank You Father God for all that You do and what You are about to do. In Jesus Precious Name

Amen

Spiritual Maturity

I will not and do not pretend that  I have it all together; however, I will say that I am a woman who has learned from her mistakes. One of the biggest mistakes that  I have done in the past is allowing my emotions to control me. Too many times we live off of our feelings when we live from off of our feelings, we don’t make wise choices. Spiritual maturity is knowing how to manage our emotions and not allowing them to control us. It’s good to have feelings they help us to be able to relate to others we can empathize and have compassion, but we can’t allow our feelings to lead us the wrong way. There can be no spiritual growth as long as we follow our feelings; we have to know what feels wrong but choose to do what is right.

The enemy mission is to kill, steal, and destroy the one thing he wants the most is to kill our faith; he tries to do this during times of trouble. How we respond to the enemy attacks is to not act like him but act like Christ. I speak about marriage a whole lot; it’s a covenant that was created by God; marriage is one of the best examples of commitment. Marriage is a beautiful thing, especially when it has God as the foundation. So many marriages end in divorce because people go into it with unrealistic ideas of what marriage is. A word of advice if you are standing in front of the pastor exchanging vows with the thought of if this doesn’t work then. Do Not Get Married!!! Divorce should not be an option if a marriage encounters problems. Unions have problems sometimes  I don’t care how great it is at times. The vows have for better or worse, let’s focused on both words because they are both critical. When people first get married, everything is new, but after a while, it will wear off commitment is suppose to step in, it takes a marriage to a deeper level which is more substantial.

I want a husband that is committed to me once the excitement and newness wear off. I want a husband who loves Christ more than I do, is loyal, faithful, sincere, a leader, and is more stringent than the toughest times that we encounter. Commitment is strength and not giving up just because things don’t feel right anymore. An excellent marriage strength is in its commitment and not just feelings alone; it’s a sign of real victory!! Remember a marriage will lose its newness like a brand new car but you will still keep the car, right? Total commitment is staying committed to the very end.

I’ve come along way, and  I have been through a lot, but I thank God for all of it. Every day I commit to putting on love, kindness, and patience regardless of the situation or how I feel. People have disappointed me, betrayed me, let me down, and hurt me even after  I have been helpful to them. I feel sorry for people who are always angry; it’s a sign that they are operating off of emotions alone, and that is never good. Regardless of how people treat me, I am still going to do things on purpose like loving those who have hurt me and pray for them. Hurt people hurt others healed people heal others; I am whole!! I am always counting the cost of every move that  I make, and I am walking in love too. Thankful so much for becoming strong spiritually off of the Word of God.

Colossians 3:14

And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.

A Letter To My Boaz

The Book of Ruth has been a blessing in my life. It made me want to be the best wife that I could be when God feels that  I am ready. I want to live according to His will. On my journey, things will come along as a distraction to get me to miss my blessings. To me, the most significant sign of maturity of a person’s walk is admitting to their faults and learning from them. When I got married ,God wasn’t in it, a marriage cannot survive without God being the foundation. God wasn’t in it but who knows what God can do. Everyone wants marriage but not the responsibilities that come with it.

Another thing this doesn’t apply to me but a good man wants a good woman of good quality. It’s not a good thing to be posting distasteful photos on the internet remember:

ruth-boaz

Back on topic, I learned that sometimes gaining something you may have to lose something. I also learned that if you have a relationship with Christ, there will be less tough lessons to learn because you will be in tune with His voice. Christ is hope with Him in our lives; we will always make the right choice.

To my future Boaz:

I want to thank God

For making you just for me

A faith, loyal, praying

Man of God

Even though we both have

Encountered tough times

God allowed us to survive

We learned what we wanted

Wasn’t what we needed

That when God isn’t in our lives

There’s more of a chance of

Us not doing what’s right

You need to know that  I value you

Already without even meeting you

Yet

I respect you

My Boaz with Ephesians five standards

I trust your leadership

Because  I trust God first

I want to pray with you

Read the Bible with you

Worship and fellowship

With you

If you have children

They are included too

Understand that there is no we or us

If everything or everyone that we love

Isn’t involved

I want to be a problem solver

Not a trouble maker

I want to ease your pain

And not cause it

I don’t care about material things

They come and go

Besides the Bible says that when

A man finds a wife he finds a good

Thing and will receive favor from

The Lord

So until the day, we come together

I want  you to know that

I am working on being awesome for

God and you

I want you to be my Boaz

And  I want to be your Ruth

I love the Book of Ruth

Ruth 2:4  And, behold, Boaz came from Bethlehem, and said unto the reapers, The Lord be with you. And they answered him, The Lord bless thee.thee.6

Wedding Rings

I truly believe that healed people heal others; that’s why  I don’t mind discussing events that have taken place in my life; I pray that it helps someone else. Think about the Bible; everyone in it had some sort of battle that they all overcame with God’s help, of course. God wanted us to see ordinary people tackle everyday problems with the help of an extraordinary God!

Back on topic, it seems like every channel I watch is promoting commercials about wedding rings, it’s Christmas, which is the time when most people get engaged. A wedding ring though it is a small piece of jewelry it’s meaning is very significant. A wedding ring is worn on the fourth finger on the left hand because it was believed that the vein in the fourth finger ran directly to the heart. It’s sad that some people don’t take wearing their wedding rings seriously, which is the reason marriage end it’s not taken seriously. Marriage is a covenant and not a contract; God intended it to last for a lifetime. A marriage can only survive on the foundation that is Christ-based, loving freely, and unconditionally committing. Marriage is not something that we pick and choose to do when we want to. I wish that  I knew these things years ago. I sure hope that this help someone somewhere.

So marry the person who you can’t see yourself without. Marry the person who is your best friend. Marry the person who regardless of who comes along your love, reminds strong.  Marry the one who you can’t stop thinking about or talking to. Marry the one who makes you better and even when you don’t feel your best; they treat you like you are. Marry the one that even if the ring came from a bubble machine, they would wear it proudly.

Wear your wedding ring always it’s not about the value of it but about the person whom you are married to for they are priceless.

wedding-rings

Genesis 2:24

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Bittersweet

I’ve prayed about it

I’ve allowed God to handle it

I’ve made room to forgive

It’s over

It’s finally over

Now I can

Start to experience closure

Trying to describe how

I’m feeling right now

It’s like trying to describe

The taste of water

As I have gotten older

I have realized that

Trying to reflect back on memories

It’s like physically trying to look

Over your shoulder

I’m just not that flexible

I’ve tried my very best

Yet in some cases

Ended up with less

There’s no need to cry over spilled milk

There’s absolutely no sense in it

I’m still blessed regardless

I just look at things as

Life learned lessons

Many things took place

Between you and I

You have no idea

Of how many tears

That I have cried

I really tired

Deep down inside

Apart of me feels like it wants to die

Yet there’s so much

That I would like to forget

I know that you had a purpose

After all we have two great kids

Here I go again

I have to stop this

I have to begin

The healing process

I have to do it

I have strength

It’s weird still

A small part of

This situation I can’t grasp

Am I still in love

Yeah right don’t make me laugh

The way that you act

Your middle name should be

Jackass or dumbass

Because you played a huge part

Of helping to put something that

Could have been special into the past

I won’t blame you totally

I also share responsibility

This ending is bittersweet

I came across a thought

Of you I actually smiled

And I felt a tear roll down my cheek

Yet I’m fine if we never speak

You have to leave

Something behind in order

To go forward

The hardest part of moving on

Is putting the pieces

Of your broken heart back together

And be brave enough to love again

It’s finally the end

It’s a tough pill to swallow

Tough to accept that we didn’t work out

A fresh start isn’t bad

I know that God has my back

So there’s no need to be sad

You Are Worth The Wait

Celibacy is a hot topic different people have different opinions on the subject. In my opinion it’s best to wait because we are worth the wait. If a man or woman cannot wait, it’s best to let them go, they are not worth your time. I will repeat these words several times to drive it home. Besides a person who loves you truly will respect you and your wishes.

Ladies, there are men out there who are celibate to think that we are alone in the waiting game is not being realistic. With sexually transmitted diseases being at an all-time high, it’s clear that God’s way is the best way. When we wait, it gives us a chance to know for sure if a person is right for us. I don’t know about you, but I will rather be heartbroken with my standards intact. God created lovemaking as a way for a husband and wife to bond. Souls are being connected you are special therefore you should not be getting connected to just anyone. Anyone who can lay down with anybody without any thought is a dangerous soul to get with anyway.

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Premarital sex has so much confusion and remembers God is not of confusion. If you come across a person, who says that they can’t wait to be like oh you can’t wait to get married? Because I am not having sex until I am married. Stand your ground; it’s your body. Making a person wait is your choice, and it’s also the person’s choice to accept it if they can’t, then they can leave. Think about it you’re good enough to sleep with but not to marry? Look, God said that He would give us the desires of our hearts if a person doesn’t feel that you are worthy to let them go. Intimacy is one of the most precious gifts that you can give a person don’t allow them to devalue it; it’s priceless. Don’t let a person to treat you like you are pawn shop worthy when you are Tiffany jeweler worthy if your price is too high tell them “bye.” Compromising happens during the marriage, not when you are in the process of receiving what God has for you. God has the absolute best, so don’t settle for less. Treat that person like you would when you get into a car accident, you go to a lawyer and not settle. That’s what we must do allow God to handle all of our business.

A true man or woman of God will do things God’s way because they respect it, and they want to do what’s right. A person who loves you will not pressure you to go against God’s way. Let’s be honest when was there a time when God’s way did not work? I can’t tell you the number of times when I was happy doing God’s will. Being celibate is hard. I think it helps to have people in your circle who is celibate too. Another suggestion is when you go out on a date, make sure that it’s in public don’t put yourself into a position for an opportunity to present itself. Date a person that’s on the same page as you and that will help to reduce having a slip-up. Most importantly, keep these five words in mind you are worth the wait.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20

18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

He Showed Me

As I have shared, I am a Christian woman who is on the brink of divorce. Divorce is not right; it affects everyone that’s involved in one way or another, especially the children. Divorce is hard because when you get married, the goal is for it to last forever. I’m very old fashioned, so I was kicking myself the whole time about ever entertaining the thought of divorce. In the beginning, I did what I could to get past the idea of divorce. Besides me feeling like the marriage was a failure what’s more important than my feelings?? God’s, of course, God hates divorce. Even though in the law, it’s written that for specific reasons, God allows divorce the way He feels about divorce is quite the opposite.

The other day I watched a video about divorce that was confirmation so now I am set free about my failed marriage. While I was devastated about things before I have since let go and let God. Believe it or not, good things have come out of my failed marriage. I have grown so much, and I want to help other people before marriage and during too. Marriage is nothing like a relationship; it’s essential for people to understand the seriousness of it. Marriage is far more than a piece of paper if you get involved with a person that thinks that way then you need to find out why.

I have a lot of advice while everyone is different; there are still many things that are the same when it comes to marriage. Number one always treat your spouse with respect, never disrespect them in front of others, and never speak against them to others, even your parents. Number two communicate no one is born a mind reader, so if something is bothering you say it. Number three once you are married, forget the single-minded mentality you are one money and all. When it comes to money, always let your spouse know about all spending and lending. I know people have a crisis, but let your spouse know when you are helping someone. Number four always be loving to your King and Queen I know that life gets busy but still make time for your spouse this is the person whom you want to spend the rest of your life with. Number five above everything keep God first. God gives structure to our lives; I don’t care what anybody says or thinks if God were in my marriage, things would have been better. God is needed; therefore,e He must be consulted about everything. A family that prays together stays together.

I am praying for everyone who is about to get married, who are married and those who are maybe experiencing problems. My prayer is that everyone turns to God for help. There is no problem that He can not solve. I don’t ever want anyone to feel as I do being thankful for a video for confirmation. If I had God as the foundation of the marriage, things would have been different. I’m okay with being able to share my story as a way to help others. I pray that my post will help somebody. God bless everyone. Always keep God number one.