Testimony

Surrender

To surrender, it’s one of the hardest parts of my Christian walk. Surrendering means to trust God fully even when we don’t see anything in the natural. It can get difficult because there are more people who are nonbelievers than believers. Recently I prayed to God and asked Him to send more Christians my way. Christians who do not compromise God’s Word. Now I’m not as strong as Brian “Head” Welch he walked away from the band Korn and went back because God told he to. Brian spoke about how there are some Christians who don’t understand his calling. It’s so insane with all the ways that God used to reach people there are still some Christians who question people’s walks.

We must understand that God’s Word is His Will for our lives. On our walk with Christ there should no compromising because that’s a sign of not truly trusting God or honoring His Word. The bible says that all scriptures are for our correction.

I’ve prayed for the strength of Samson and the meekness of Abraham to help me on my walk with Christ.

Trusting the Process

I’d be lying if I said that certain things didn’t make me wonder what God was doing. There has been times when I wasn’t sure whether I was going or coming. But I remembered all the times when God brought me through. I’m trusting God so I have no choice but to trust the process. Everything that God allows us to go through serves a process and we become better because of it.

So I have allowed myself not to be bitter but better and to be silent while I listen to God’s still voice. Learning not to be sad but glad there’s no room for worry. Praying for everyone who has hurt me and let my children down as well as comfort too. I think the best way to be successful in understanding the process is disowning the things that man may try to tell you about yourself. God opinion is the only one that holds the most value.

Lord I know what You told me so I trust You through it all no matter what happens or how things looks like. I know that everything will be alright. Lord I know that You know what is best for my life I know because I can feel what is to come. Lord you show us things everyday which are signs of what’s to come the sunset is a sign of night approaching and cloudy skies is a sign of a storm. On the flip side a sunrise is sign of a new day. A storm comes to an end and so we see a rainbow. Lord I love You and I know that You will see me through just like You always do.

The Letter

My life keeps getting more and more interesting every minute. I’m a massive fan of the movie Immortal Beloved it’s about the life of Beethoven. There are so many parts of the film I love the actor Gary Oldman did a fantastic job. Gary Oldman brought the movie to life he’s a brilliant actor underrated for sure. This movie came out in 1994, perhaps my top favorite thing besides the music was a letter that Beethoven wrote to the woman that he truly loved. Ahhhhh yes I love the words “ever thine ever mine ours”  words from a great man ever. I know what you are thinking what is Tameeka talking about now? I’ll be getting to that in a minute. My ex and I are like opposites it’s the truth. I don’t hate him; I look back at what we had as a life lesson. It is what it is. The posts that I write are to encourage and inspire somebody. I believe that there is someone somewhere who’s going through what I am going through. Anyway back on topic.

It’s incredible when you are trying to move on things from the past fall out of nowhere. I found a letter written by my ex from five years ago. That’s right five years ago. I think the purpose of the letter could be for closure. It wasn’t about the letter being from him it was about what was in it. He wrote me many different letters it’s weird that this one suddenly appears. Out of all the letters written why this one I have moved from one address to another and this letter pops up. The letter had several different questions, so I assume that perhaps these are unanswered questions that he may have. I will answer the questions in this post it’s not like he’ll ever read it anyway it’s all about healing. Healing is a great thing.

When my ex ask questions he always wants it done with a “simple yes or no” well things aren’t always that easy.  The paragraph starts with,”Let me ask you these questions because it seems that I am not getting a straight answer from you just answer these questions with a yes or no let’s keep it simple.” Do you still want to be with me? Do you even miss me? Do you love me? Why don’t you ever say that you love me? Do you regret being with me? When my ex got locked up, it made me very angry. I wanted an intact family, and it got destroyed, so I was mad for a long time. When he went away to prison in 2007, I called about the status, and when the lady told me 240 months, I was devastated. My world came crashing down life that I knew had changed. I’m no different from other mothers I wanted the house with the white picketed fence things were ruined in a blink of an eye. At the time I did miss him, it wasn’t about the financial help our sons were growing up without him. He missed out on a massive chunk of our children’s lives so many memories he will never have. Did I love him ever yes I did? I will always have some love for him. Real women are in touch with their feelings, and they keep it 100. It’s amazing how people can’t see how a person loved them. I showed it and told him that too. I never regretted being with my ex; it took him to make our two sons. Our sons are like a replica of us; it’s quite astonishing. I never regretted him, and I never will.

I believe that closure can only happen when things are faced, or we will continue to think about things and reliving situations that have been long over. Being stuck in the past only robs the present, which is a gift. I can’t change what happened, but I have forgiven my ex as well as let go of lots of anger. My ex needs to let go of his anger too because there’s no sense in it. I pray for my ex’s salvation because he doesn’t believe in Christ. I pray that God powerfully touches his heart. For him to have a blessed a life, he has to let go of the anger and the hate it will only poison all of his relationships, including the ones with our children. Taking the same old bricks into a new relationship will only destroy it and I don’t want our children to ever blame themselves. Father God touch my ex’s heart so it will soften and he let’s You in so that You can give him a new start. Lord You know that I mean every word and it’s coming from the heart. Please handle it Father God everything is in Your Hands. I thank You in advance. Amen.

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things passed away; all things are become new.

They Do Not Expire

Milk has an expiration date, bread has an expiration  date even tough times has a expiration date. One thing that does not expire is a testimony. Every time we talk about a testimony it gives God praise. So we should tell it to as many people as we can anyone who will listen while we are breathing. Treat a testimony like a diamond should it off. That’s what I do and you should too. Testimonies encourages people so repeat it over and over like a scratched LP someone needs to hear it. Don’t worry about people who may be tired of hearing it let they can get some ear plugs or cotton balls. As a matter of fact they can not listen, hey problem solved.  Our blessings comes from God and not man. Don’t get me wrong I don’t praise Him for the blessings. I will praise Him regardless of what I get. Give God His praise and don’t be ashamed do it all day if you want to. We should never hold back not with all that God has done.

Psalm 150:6

Let every thing that hath breath praise the Lord. Praise ye the Lord.

With God

When you are a Christian

You hear people

All the time dismissing God

I don’t get mad

I just find it odd

Let’s see

With God

There’s Peace, Joy, Selflessness, Hope

Happiness, Strength, Being Content

Love, Adaptability, Caring, Comfort,

Compassion, Discipline, Goodness

Not to mention the testimonies

To match

Without God

A person is angry, selfish,has hatred

Lost, sad, dysfunctional, discomfort,

Disconnection, hopeless, despair

Absolutely no structure

The difference is having Christ

How does one explain these things

I’ll wait