Happy Father’s Day

It’s not easy being a single parent, it’s something that no-one signs up for. Parenting isn’t about just the easy stuff like picking something from out the refrigerator for the children to eat or taking them to the park. Parenting is about the hard stuff too like staying up all night when a child gets sick or for me helping your autistic son to understand what puberty is. Indeed, parenting can become a frustrating job at times and some mothers want to claim father’s day too.

Believe it or not there are a lot of excellent fathers who are in their children’s lives. Some fathers are still with the mothers of their children and are a positive entity. There are fathers who weathered the storm of the ups and downs in a relationship or marriage. There are also fathers who aren’t with the mothers of their children but his presence is still felt. There are fathers who don’t only see their children on holidays but often. There are fathers who take their children to school who knows their children favorite foods and colors. There are fathers who are making memories with their children not just making children who dream of seeing them. There are fathers who don’t just pay child support and feel that’s enough. There are fathers who put their children first and it stays that way regardless of whatever happens.

There are fathers who want to see their children but can’t. There are fathers who are single parents too. Is it really okay to rob the excellent fathers of their day because some of the mothers are in their feelings? Mothers day is in May. Father’s day is in June. Single parents day is in March we must understand the difference. Happy Father’s day to all of the great fathers around the world you are appreciated truly. Blessings!

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Happy Birthday Dad

There is so much to love about February like it being a month away from spring, the month of one of my favorite president’s birthday, black history month and (drum roll please) my step-dad’s birthday. My step-dad is one of the greatest people that  I know.

I love my step-dad I really do. There are so many reasons why  I appreciate him. My step-dad has been in my life every since  I was about ten years old. He always helped my mom to  make things happen. My mother and step-dad had no children together but he treated us like his own. When my mother became sick he never left her side.

In 1997 my mother passed away from cancer. The funeral that my mother had was loaded with people who told my sisters and  I that they had our backs. As time went on the people at the funeral faded away but step-dad stayed. My step-dad never went anywhere he’s always been there for my sisters and I.

My step-dad still talks a lot about my mother even though she has been gone twenty years. I love one of  the stories that  he tells me one year my sisters and  I wanted bikes. He told my mom maybe they should get two bikes but my mother told him if all of us can’t get a bike then no one can. When my sisters and I woke up on Christmas day there were four bikes by the tree one for each of us.

I value my step-dad very much and pray that God blesses him with many more birthdays. In today’s society it’s a treasure to find a person who values you and your children without motives. My step-dad is a really great dad and  I am so glad that  I am blessed to have him in my life.

Being A Great Dad

Growing up in a broken home

Taught me that parenting

Should not be done alone

Indeed we have our heavenly Father

He also gives us rules to follow

That we all should honor

A mother is to nurture her children

Instill compassion in her children

Teach them brilliant cooking skills

A mother plants amazing feelings

Into her children so that they take root

A father gives his children advice

Teaches his children how to ride a bike

Teaches his children how to drive

How a man treats a lady

He leads by example

He’s his children protector whether

Or not he and the mother are together

A mother’s and a father’s love for

Their children should always be equal

Too many are trying to minimize

A father’s unique contributions

As if it means nothing at all

These kinds of attitudes are part

Of the black community’s problem

I know men who are good fathers

Who have had the worse life experiences

I’m talking horrendous

Yet they don’t use them as crutches

Are there petty mothers

Who for no good reasons stops

The children’s fathers from having

A relationship with their kids

Yes and those situations I don’t accept

But let’s be honest those kinds of

Situations are rare

How about the fathers who makes

The choice to neglect

Having a relationship with their children

Those kind of fathers

Don’t deserve any respect

Once  a person becomes a parent

A mission must be made to make sure

That their children have

The absolute best

A parent’s love should always be felt

Even when they aren’t present

Children should never ever feel

As if they never received enough love

There’s nothing that hurts worse

Then to feel rejected by

Your very own parent

Why should a child have to learn

How to become immune to hurt

It’s the same old tune

We are living in a society

With people who are self absorbed

Classic narcissistic behavior

Some of these fathers who aren’t good

Align themselves with

A bunch of yes men

Ones who agree with everything

Whether they are right or wrong

Bobble heads who are afraid

To stand up or challenge

Newsflash they are not true friends

Sick of some of these dead beat

Fathers crying about children support

When you didn’t do right on your own

So mothers had to turn

To the government for assistance

It’s your fault that you fathers

Have to pay it

Some of your fathers words

Ain’t worth nothing

Never consistent

No wonder why you have bad credit

Constantly trying to make

A mother feel bad for asking for help

Dude we didn’t make these

Children by ourselves

If you can’t be a good father

Do us all a favor

And get yourself fixed

So over these good for nothing fathers

Who’s always coming up with excuses

Like a student sitting in

The principal’s office

Offering a reason for skipping

How about this don’t just be a father

Be a dad

That’s called being a man

A sign of great parenting

Is not having children

Who becomes estranged from you

The moment they reach 18

All behind past things that happened

In which they are still hurting

Having a blessed relationship

With our children until we are old

Should be every parent’s

Ultimate goal

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We Are Beautiful

Recently everywhere I turn

I see men of different races

Including my very own

Making it seem like

Black women are the least desirable

Men like Chris Rock and

Steve Harvey speaking about

The kinds of men who love us

I can’t take it anymore

Our black is beautiful

Every day many of us struggle

With situations that

We should not have to endure alone

We are mothers

Who are also filling in as

The role of father

This situation has gotten old

The worse part is when we

Are made to feel like

We are somehow responsible

For receiving the hurt

That we don’t deserve

It’s so absurd

One of the stupidest things

That  I have ever heard

There’s a 72% percentage

Of absentee fathers

Look at the numbers

These men choose

To not be bothered

It doesn’t take a math whiz

Or a rocket scientist

Last time  I checked

It takes a man and a woman

To make a baby

Is there any other ways

I’ll wait

Lord knows that  I am a Christian

I always turn the other cheek constantly

Most black women are forgiving

About the situations that helps

Many of us to feel incomplete

Dealing with things like certain men

Who are filled with deceit that cheat

Lacking the understanding as to

Why some men would rather mistreat

Good women in a heartbeat

As if it would kill them to

Commit faithfully

In spite of black women circumstances

Defeat is not a part of our vocabulary

We always push ourselves hard

Like a star athlete

There’s a lot more to us

Than what people think

I’m telling  you right now

On us don’t sleep

We are constantly striving and evolving

Every word that  I speak

Is concrete

I can produce receipts

Say what  you want about me

Turn up the heat

I will not surrender or retreat

Can’t continue to listen

To all of the bull

Like how some of the wounds

Of black women

Are self-inflicted

I just don’t understand it

I do know that black women

Are over being taken for granted

As well as being blamed for this

Got me like

Alanis Morrissette

Isn’t it ironic

Don’t you think

Some black men

Speak of wanting black women

To hold them down

When they have nothing

Yet when some of them get on

Their feet

They treat their women and

Very own children

Like pot holes in a street

Then have the nerve

To question why we are angry

Really?

Please

Spare me

After awhile all of this becomes

So annoying

Some of you have no concept

Of loyalty

As long as black women

Are going along with the program

Everything is hunky-dory

However once we wake up

And stand up things are

A different story

Oh and don’t get me

Talking about the subject of dating

Black men was the first to

Put cream in their coffee

This is after slavery

At least that’s what mother

Used to tell me

May her beautiful soul

Rest in peace

If black women

Date outside of their race

Immediately we are accused

Of self-hate

In addition making it seem

As if men of other races

See us as mere fetishes

Like we are nothing

More than sex objects

I’m so sick of the disrespect

When will you guys open your eyes

And realize that

When our community is hurting

No one benefits

And no wins

Because we all suffer in the end

Things comes back in a full spin

I won’t stop talking about this

It’s a promise

Like Mc Hammer

I’m too legit to quit

Refusing to conform

To what seems to be the norm

Because it’s awful

Black women we deserve love

Beyond measure

We are a treasure

Keep in mind that love has no color

This mindset opens up our options more

Always remember this number

One thing and that is our value

Is not found in negative

People’s words

Black women are powerful

Even when we stand alone

We are so strong

Black women we are beautiful

Sexual Abuse in The Church

Bishop Eddie Long passed away today and there are mixed feelings about it. Let me start off by saying  I don’t care about the denomination sexual abuse is wrong. Sexual abuse is deep beneath the skin it’s a sin issue. The church is a place where everyone is suppose to feel and be safe. Bishop Eddie Long molested young boys in his church. I pray that he got right with God and repented. The problem with the church is the wrong people are leading and people are following blindly.

We have to understand that no one is exempt from falling in our faith so we must remain humble always. We have to stay on fire with God it requires us to stay connected with those who are burning. I want people to let me know if  I am doing wrong  I want to be right for God. Back on topic there is a lot of perversion going on in the church but no one wants to discuss it. When Eddie Long victims spoke about the abuse they were treated like suspects. I watched his victims do an interview they were so broken. Sexual abuse causes a whole lot of damage not just to the ones who are abused. I feel sorry and prays for Eddie Long’s family. We must speak up about abuse it’s time to quit being silent.

Many people don’t speak up out of fear of being attacked. The words that  I speak aren’t mine they are from the Bible. I am not judging Eddie Long only God can do that. Our children are innocent we must protect them it’s our duty.

Luke 9:23 – And he said to [them] all, If any [man] will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me

Culture Awareness

Recently I finished a course in Intercultural Competence and it taught me a lot of new things when it comes to interacting with different cultures. In order to become aware of other cultures it helps to become aware of your own. I have learned that once we understand others cultures; we can then appreciate them, establish a relationship and build an alliance. To build a strong community it takes a large number of people to make it work. Each culture is unique and has perspectives and strengths that any community can benefit from. Having an understanding of every culture can help us to overcome as well as avoid ethnic and racial divisions. A community can win when people don’t struggle with the vision of what a fair, moral and harmonious society is. There are many cultures and of course many of us would like to know about them all a good way to start is finding out about who lives in our community, the kind of diversity that already exists, the struggles that exist between the cultures, the struggles that are openly recognized and the kinds of issues that the different cultures have in common.

When it comes to having a community that is united there certain steps that should be taken and there are things that should not be done as well. Let’s use the African-American culture as an example there has been a lot of bad things that have taken place. There is still a lot of hurt that has turned into anger which is present in America to this very day. Even though I am an African-American one thing is true making people feel guilty for what their ancestors have done hundreds of years ago will not help diversity to become effective. People tend to change when they don’t feel condemned or guilt tripped. One day I saw a post from a Facebook friend she actually apologized for what her ancestors had done hundreds of years ago and I commented telling her that it was unnecessary. It may come as a shock to many but I get called names a lot like sellout and even accused of not being true to my culture. I have gotten slammed on several occasions all because of my views. My Christian beliefs help to keep me hopeful no matter how a situation looks like. In my opinion when it comes to bring cultures together everyone must be included, a solution of what can be done to solve the issues with hope of getting it done together is a huge step into the right direction. Having a strong community can only happen by  people working together from every culture this will help to build a strong relationship that has a core.

As I have written in the beginning getting to know one’s own culture and other cultures builds bridges that can connect people in addition recognizing the differences is important too. Many times people don’t want to recognize cultures differences out of fear that it may cause division however it’s actually on the contrary. Learning about other cultures can actually bring people closer together. When people are aware of other cultures they learn how to interact without negativity happening. A mind closed mind is not open to knowledge and so ignorance grows. It’s important that we all keep in mind that regardless of our cultures being different we all have feelings,we are human beings and we are all God’s Children.

Galatians 3:26

For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.

It’s Up To Us

I’m not pointing fingers

But we must admit

That the black community is damaged

No one wants to talk about it

No one wants to face

What is happening

No one wants to get serious

About their life choices

The ones that actually has

Major consequences

That unfortunately once done

We can’t change or fix

People want to program their minds

To see their lives

As a happily ever after

A fairy tale

But no one wants to discuss

How certain choices can bring

Us back to reality have us

Sounding like a nursery rhyme

Old woman in the shoe

Had so many children

That she didn’t know what to do

Messing with the wrong men

Will have your life like a soap opera

All my children

And you are Not Erica

Having multiple babies out of wedlock

Losing value on the dating market

As if the arrow is pointing downward

On Down Jones

Ladies don’t waste unnecessary time

Ask the man who you feel

Maybe your potential mate

What are his goals and dreams

If he wants to get married

He will tell you

Don’t let having multiple children

And him not marrying  you

To be a life lesson

It won’t be only you who will suffer

The children will too

Don’t be a fool

Don’t continue to hold on

Respect his decision

Move on life is short

Even though every single black mother’s

Situations are unique

Even though all single black mothers

Are not irresponsible

It doesn’t matter to

The people of the world

It’s time to wake up

Poverty, despair, and hopelessness

Are parts of nightmares

And should not be identified as

Being apart of African American culture

We have got to do better

We have to not feed into the negative

Stereotypes and generalizations

That some of us choose to embrace

It’s a big mistake

It’s up to us what we choose

What we answer to or who we allow

Ourselves to get attached to

Allowing negativity to turn inward

Single black mothers are not used goods

Not all of us are from the hood

Not all of us are ghetto

Those are words of the devil

We know that he is the biggest liar

Of them all

One of the greatest titles

That a woman can possess

Is being called mother

The greatest words that a parent

Can hear is their children

Tell them that they love you

We want our children to have

A better life than what we had

That requires having a stable home

Which consist of a mom and a dad

A happy homes goes beyond a fad

It never goes out of style

We don’t want to be responsible

For our children walking around

With a hole in their hearts

Remember they are suppose

To experience love first

From ma and pops

It’s time to break the curse

It’s time to stop making excuses

Because they are useless

The Black community

Needs to get it together

The broken home situation

Is very urgent