But You’re Still Black

Ummm. Okay. Thank you for confirming what I see in the mirror on a everyday basis. It’s a no brainer my mother and father were black not sure about the exact percentage I need to take a heritage DNA. I get taken back by some black men when they find out I’m into dating outside of my race they always have the need to remind me of what my race is. Whatever dude.

Some black men need to think of how it comes off when they say “but you’re still black”. As if there’s some invisible obligation clause black women can’t see like sister you’re chained to us for life. Sista you are subjected to being disrespected, a struggling single parent and lots of turmoil remember you are black. It is really frustrating because many black people fought for our rights to be seen as individuals beyond our color. Yes I am black but that’s only a small fraction of who I am. Some black people think really small it’s okay for people to be themselves and Not follow a trend. I used to say that I was different but that’s far from the truth. I am Tameeka simple as that. I am me. The world would be a much better place if people would walk into their chosen purpose without fear. There is freedom in being who God called you to be.

I’m not sentenced to do what people of my race sees fit for me to do. They can call me names like coon and sellout it’s just a control tactic that I won’t fall for. I’m not alone when it comes to these feelings it’s refreshing too. It’s always amazing to me when some black men speak of racism yet treat their own women like dirt. It’s a new day and age people are being true to themselves and dealing with people who celebrate them not tolerate them.

 

 

 

 

 

Only Way Out

Today is Chris Cornell’s birthday and some devastating news occurred Chester Bennington took his life. Chester was the lead singer of Linkin Park. He was a close friend of Chris and was the godfather of his youngest child. Today was incredibly sad for me I had planned to listen to Chris Cornell sing all day.

I know a lot of people think that suicide is a selfish act. I believe that it’s a cry for help. Chester sang at Chris’s funeral perhaps it devastated him more than we all knew. I feel sorry for his wife and children. When a person commits suicide they not only leave the people who loved them behind but with unanswered questions. I know that there have been reports of Chester abusing alcohol and drugs. He also battled with depression. Whatever the case was with Chester we will never know what was going on in his head. He was hurting so bad that he saw suicide as his only was out.

We never know what a person is going through if you can’t be kind to them then pray for them. We never want to be responsible for pushing a hurting person over the edge. It doesn’t matter who the person is. It doesn’t matter how rich they are. It doesn’t matter how famous they are. Just like REM sang everybody hurts sometimes. We must reach out to people. If a person shows signs of suicidal tendencies seek help for them immediately. Do not take it lightly.

Why Are You Angry?

There are some black men who are walking around angry and they hate black women. The worst part is some of them call themselves men of God. They claim that they want to help correct black women but that’s highly doubtful. Yes, God corrects people but He does it in love.

I don’t hate black men but when someone speaks on it they get slammed. The black community is chaotic, poverty-stricken and dysfunctional I’m not sure if the chain will ever be broken.

When I hear a angry black man speak ill of a black woman immediately I wonder why are they so angry. Did they fall off their bike and their mother didn’t kiss their boo-boo? Did a girl who they wanted to go to their first dance with turn them down? Did their first love break their heart? It’s important for us to figure it out because many of them have a vendetta against black women. Many of them feel better by degrading and demeaning black women and it must stop. The only way the anger will stop is if we can all figure out why. I think that it’s because of broken homes after all 72% of black fathers do not reside with their children and 73% of children are born out of wedlock.

I’m not bashing black men but  I’m not working for Scooby snacks and empty praises from men who hates us either. I want to know why are they so angry I don’t want any of my beautiful nieces or any of the upcoming beautiful young ladies to experience disrespect from hateful men something has to be done.

Many black men aren’t getting married but have children everywhere women have to play bounty hunter like they are Dog (TV show guy) to get support for their children. The child support payments that women receive most times isn’t enough for a week worth of groceries. Quite frankly it’s despicable especially how they blame black women for how they behave it’s all too much. It’s just too much unnecessary drama from hateful and unfaithful men. I don’t know about anyone else but I’m not signing up for struggle love. Which is why I choose not to date them anymore I refuse to go on a scavenger hunt to look for a good black man aka IBM but that’s another post for another day.

I’m just curious about how they can hate black women but love their mom and sisters. Or maybe they just don’t love any black woman at all. It just doesn’t make sense men of the world I expect them to be harsh and cruel but don’t call yourself a man of God because you are not. I pray that God softens the hearts of hateful men.

Happy Birthday Chris

July 20th is Chris Cornell’s birthday. I wrote something special in his memory.

I woke up feeling so sad that it was overwhelming. I don’t believe that I will be getting over his passing anytime soon. The year was 1991 my mother purchased Temple of the Dog on cassette and Badmotorfinger later that year for me.

When  I discovered Soundgarden it was one of the best moments that I will never forget. I remember staying up late to watch Soundgarden appear on headbanger’s ball. My favorite time watching Soundgarden appear on headbanger’s ball was when they went bowling. We got the chance to witness Chris’s sense of humor and radiant smile.

Chris had such an amazing voice. Such an extraordinary songwriter. Such an out of this world guitarist. Such a gorgeous man. Such a beautiful soul. What a profound loss.

I can’t believe that I missed so many opportunities to experience seeing him play live through my eyes and not through someone else’s camera len’s. I was guilty of taking time for granted thinking that I would have a chance to see him one day. Well that someday will in no way happen now.

I remember how badly that I wanted to see Soundgarden. I would be riding in the car with my mom and I would look over at the Boathouse and say mom I want to go there. Since then my mom has passed away, the Boathouse was torn down and Chris Cornell has passed away.

Chris Cornell had a great voice that carried a great message. One of those messages was being shown how to live which is something that we all must do. Live and not take anything for granted especially time. Live and not hurt anyone. Live and inspire. Live and let everyone you love know that they are loved while they are still here. Live and have no fear. Live and write something memorable. Live and listen to your favorite song really loud. Most importantly live in a way that there are less regrets and more joy.

Happy Birthday to Chris Cornell the voice of our generation. Thank you for all that you have shared with us. We miss you.

Happy Father’s Day

It’s not easy being a single parent, it’s something that no-one signs up for. Parenting isn’t about just the easy stuff like picking something from out the refrigerator for the children to eat or taking them to the park. Parenting is about the hard stuff too like staying up all night when a child gets sick or for me helping your autistic son to understand what puberty is. Indeed, parenting can become a frustrating job at times and some mothers want to claim father’s day too.

Believe it or not there are a lot of excellent fathers who are in their children’s lives. Some fathers are still with the mothers of their children and are a positive entity. There are fathers who weathered the storm of the ups and downs in a relationship or marriage. There are also fathers who aren’t with the mothers of their children but his presence is still felt. There are fathers who don’t only see their children on holidays but often. There are fathers who take their children to school who knows their children favorite foods and colors. There are fathers who are making memories with their children not just making children who dream of seeing them. There are fathers who don’t just pay child support and feel that’s enough. There are fathers who put their children first and it stays that way regardless of whatever happens.

There are fathers who want to see their children but can’t. There are fathers who are single parents too. Is it really okay to rob the excellent fathers of their day because some of the mothers are in their feelings? Mothers day is in May. Father’s day is in June. Single parents day is in March we must understand the difference. Happy Father’s day to all of the great fathers around the world you are appreciated truly. Blessings!

One

The walk of a journey
Begins with one step
There is great power
In the power of one
Many times people
Do not take the time
To recognize or realize
The strength behind this number
One second makes up part of a minute
Of one hour
Of one day
A penny makes up
A part of a million dollars
One penny less of a million
It is no longer a million
It all starts with the number one
One DNA
One set of fingerprints
One you
One me
One heart
One mind
We are one of a kind
A special moment
Relived never feels good
As the first time
Never under estimate
It’s importance
For it’s power
Is very significant
Winning the million dollar lottery
Can only happen once
One bad choice
Makes an impact for life
One planet Earth
One father
One mother gave you life
One wish
One star
One dream can take a person far
So never ever
Forget the significance
Of the power of one