This Time of Year

I always get sad
Around this time of year
It’s when my mother
Left from here
Let me make myself clear
When it comes to
The death of a love one
You never heal
It’s impossible to get over
Losing someone who
You held so near, so dear
To your heart
There are always
Things that remind you
That they are gone
A picture, a memory, a song
Holidays, birthdays
Every time I reached
An important moment in my life
I would whisper
This is for you mom
I often wonder
How things would be like
If she was here
What advice would
She have given me
To help to endure hardships
She was so strong
She was so courageous
She was a leader
She was a blessing
She was my hero
Which is why all
I ever wanted to do
Was to make her happy
And to see her smile
It’s still impossible
For me to talk about her
Without holding back my tears
Bottled up feelings
Resides inside even though
I live my life
As best as I can
Even after twenty-one years this Saturday
It’s still feels as if
She passed yesterday
This is why I say
If you have lost
A special someone
Don’t allow anyone
To make you feel
As if the grief process has a limit
To heck with that
Never feel bad about
Mourning the one you love
Or for missing them
The pain is for life
Death of a love one
Will always hurt

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Half Baked

There once was a lady who I used to associate with who said something that was so profound. She said that “she was tired of a lot of black mothers sending their sons out into the world half baked expecting girlfriends and wives to finish baking them”. I never forgot her words. She said the words out of frustration due to the problems she was having out of her boyfriend at the time. He was always lying and cheating. The man was just an irresponsible person who cared nothing about his actions or the hurt that he inflicted upon others.

The one thing that I have learned from my criminal mind’s class is that everything starts at home. Most times the foundation of a serial killer’s dysfunction is an unhealthy home life. No, I am not justifying killing, I am pointing out how powerful family is. Jeffrey Dahmer’s mother abandoned him, Charles Manson’s mother rejected him and the Son of Sam’s birth mother rejected him as well.

The sad thing about the black community is that dysfunction is the “norm” for some people. People have developed a high tolerance for toxic behavior even finding it entertaining. People can’t complain about what’s going on in the community yet enjoy watching the same situations on television or jam to degrading lyrics to a song on the radio. Sza’s song “The Weekend” is okay to bob your head to until the woman who’s sharing the man is you. Heck!!! Some women are okay with sharing a man. Not understanding that they deserve a man who will love them so much that he is faithful. Many young black women come from broken homes so they wasn’t taught about their worth.

No one wants to stay in a place that is filled with dysfunction and so people want to leave it behind which is fine and dandy. Sadly leaving the mess behind will not solve everything toxic problems have a way of effecting many eventually. A messed up community has a way of affect everyone in some way, shape or form. Like a tsunami, crimes waves doesn’t just affect one area only, it ends up effecting a lot of innocent people. Just something to think about.

All parents have to do their part to ensure that wrong parenting decisions doesn’t become problematic for others. No matter how old our children get they are still ours. They are a reflection of us. So whether we spoiled them as a way to compensate for an absentee father and doing so they developed a feeling of entitlement. Or rewarding children constantly for no reason regardless of bad behavior. Every choice has consequences that can reap good or bad harvests.

Somewhere along the way in the past people have failed their children and have to be honest about it. Some have put things like men or drugs above their children scarring their children with rejection and abandonment issues. Choosing to pick their wants over their children’s needs. It’s wrong to expect children to deal with adult issues and think that they will turn out fine.

Parents are children’s first heroes, don’t ruin it by placing zero value on parenthood. It’s priceless. Being a star to our children is a blessing. So as parents we must do what it takes to make sure our children are productive people and are not damaged. We should love them enough that we make sure that we are never the reason for them having holes in their hearts. Being human is not an excuse to make careless decisions that may harm others later. Remember that one life touches another, it’s important that we raise our children in a way that they are a blessing and not a curse in other people’s lives. Everything starts at home, let’s not send our children out into the world half baked.

When is Enough, Enough?

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said that “there comes a time when silence is betrayal.” When is enough, enough? When is it best to be silent? When is it time to speak up? I started my blog to talk about the things that people think about but choose not to talk about for whatever reason.

Let me start off by saying this it doesn’t matter if you are a Christian, Muslim, Atheist, Agnostic or Whatever a person believes in!!! It’s a person’s right to believe what they choose!!! My point is that Everyone has been tested about when to speak and when to be silent.

God asked Moses to go to Pharaoh and tell him to let His People go. God had given Pharaoh many chances before sending many plagues and even the death of his son. However, Pharaoh was still stubborn. God asked Moses to speak. Guess who was attempting to stop Moses from speaking? It was Moses. Moses was afraid of speaking up. There has been many stories in the Bible where God asked people to speak up.

If God calls on a Christian to speak, they had better do it. Unless that Christian wants to end up in the belly of a whale. So no, God does not expect a Christian to be quiet all the time and to turn the other cheek. God has asked people to act and that included speaking up.

There has been times when I was going to tell people my story but God told me not to say anything and that my time for sharing my story is coming. How do I know that God told me not to say anything? He gave me confirmation. One of my Facebook friends tagged me in a post the following day of me contemplating on sharing my story. The post said “Life is meant to be Lived. Fear is not an option when you know you were sent to Fly. Understand your Power, know that you are Greatness.” This lady is on fire for God and did not know what was on my mind. God had her relay a message.God told her to reach out to me. God told her to speak. So you see God has proven His existence to me time and time again.

Earth is not Heaven so everyone isn’t going to be good but Earth isn’t hell either we still experience the beauty of flowers, butterflies, blue skies and cool breezes. I understand that there are some people here on Earth who has made our lives to be almost unbearable. But God will have our backs and He does have us speak. Yes, we are living in a society regardless of who they choose to follow for guidance, who are treacherous. Understand this jealous people who are our enemies study us more than they did for a test in school. Why? Because they see things that we don’t positive things that may threaten them. So they want to attack our character or try to attempt to have others question things. Some of our enemies pretend to know so much about us and know nothing at all. This can and has happened to anyone.

If we encounter or are in the company of people who try to silence us we have to let them go. I refuse to be need deep in scalding hot water and claim that I am shivering just to make others happy. No, I am not making people comfortable so they don’t have to deal with my pain. People who truly care won’t expect us to suffer in silence. Life is too short to not speak up just to avoid confrontation. Because guess what? At times confrontation is necessary. Escapism is a temptation because it’s an easy fix.

I have had some Christians come after me and judge especially about the kinds of music that I listen to. I have had non-Christians judge me too claiming to be all open-minded and their minds be more narrow than the side of a ruler. Encouraging people to speak but doubt everything they shared with them (behind their backs of course). People just don’t feel safe enough to share their stories especially with people who will claim it isn’t true which makes them seems like nosy people. Nosy people pretend to care in order to gain information. So we all have to be careful about sharing our life journey.

Bottom line confrontation is always going to feel uncomfortable. Sometimes we will have people tell us to be quiet even when the writing is on the wall. If it doesn’t feel right then we have to speak up. Sometimes being silent is Not the answer especially in the face of adversary. Confrontation is necessary.

Can’t Nobody Tell It Better Than Me

Diversity of thought allows a person to accept and respect what another person believes as long as it isn’t hurting anyone. I am a Christian and I am proud of that. When I had no one I had God. I can give testimony after testimony about what God did to save my children and I. Again it was not a human. I understand that some people have had situations that occurred in their lives, where they question God. Some people are so angry at God that it has them blind. There are about 7.3 billion people in the world and 2.3 billion are Christians. So 2.3 billion people are lost? This isn’t slavery time no one is getting beat over the head and forced to believe in Christ. People of different races are Christians. So, all of these people are just blind and they believe in Christ for no reason? I don’t think so.

I have had things that have occurred in my life and recently I found something else out. And I am not angry at God about it. God gave us all free will. He doesn’t force us to believe in Him or follow Him. Kind like us wanting people to love us for who we are and not for what we can do. Think about it like this there are some people who don’t believe in God but they all aren’t going to behave the same. Some will think of others but a lot won’t even more so. Why? They lack structure and that’s why they do whatever they want without a care in the world. They lack having a conscience. We can’t blame God for everything and especially not for the people who choose to Not follow Him. Of course they will do evil things their flesh controls them Not God. In my opinion a person can’t allow God in if they are full of themselves. The consequences of not following God is an angry person who has an appetite for destruction. Which is why I am careful of what I allow into my spirit. Evil is Not Good. Evil likes to hide in the dark. Bad things happen in the dark. We can’t walk in the dark which is why we turn on a light. But once the light is on there is no place for evil or darkness to hide. Evil is Not of light. The saying goes “what’s done in the dark comes out in the light” because bad things can hide in darkness. Something to think about.

I am not telling all of my life’s story because it’s Not time yet. I will say this much my “father” hated me, he abused my mother, my sister and I, both of my sons (one is autistic) are by the same man who I was married to, we don’t get along and I am a single mother. This is just the tip of the iceberg about my life. Some of the things that has happen in my life were bad choices that I made and Not God’s fault. Some of the worst chapters in my life happened when I wasn’t walking right with God. Every life has a story and so does mine. All I know is that there has to be a God with all I have been through and continue go through. I have overcame and endured!!! That’s how I know that God is real. Believe what you will after all we have free will. I choose to believe what’s the harm in believing and having hope? Besides I will not stop having faith it’s the one thing that keeps me going When I Am About To Run Out Of Steam!!!

Don’t Be Afraid

Over the last couple of days some black people have been in a rage about what Ciara said about leveling up!!! I have seen women getting into arguments on social media. Ciara has been under attack. Quickly some people reminded her of her past relationship. Newsflash!!! Ciara is not her past. This is the reason why people don’t like to share their testimonies, out of fear that people will attempt to drag them back to where they came from. There is truth in her words.

I keep seeing some black people saying “Okay, We get it” but they haven’t done anything to change a lot of situations. It’s hard to do anything when you are not receptive to it and you are bashing the messenger. As the old saying goes, don’t shoot the messenger. If Ciara message offends a person they need to find out why it does. She is not the problem.

Sometimes people just can’t win if you give advice with no experience it’s: “What do you know about my situation?” How can you relate? If people know about your past instead of them being inspired, they pick you apart and attempt to shame you into silence. I don’t follow celebrities a lot, I am just speaking on the backlash that she received. She is a celebrity so she has zero privacy the public knows her past. However, there are some women that aren’t famous, who have experienced what she has too. I look at Ciara’s life as an inspiration. She overcame and endured, most importantly she’s happy!!! Happiness is the ultimate goal in relationships and marriages.

We can’t allow our past to keep us bondage. We are not our past. Everyone has a past. Everyone has parts of their lives that they don’t want to read aloud. Some people will receive what is said and some won’t. There was some people who agreed with Ciara, so what she said was not in vain. Even looking at stories from the Bible Noah tried to warn people they laughed and called him crazy. Jonah did not want to warn the people of Nineveh. Jonah ran probably out of fear of how the people would receive the message. If a message is placed on your heart don’t be afraid, deliver it someone may need to hear it. It could the message that they need in order to give them hope.

Rudeness Is NOT Okay 

The Godly Chic Diaries

I know I’m being grumpy, but there are just certain things that grind my nerves down to the root….I’m just going to come out and say it: ‘RudenessisNOT Okay’

Beingrude can be defined as – ‘not having or showing concern or respect for the rights and feelings of other people. In other words (lack of manners) SERIOUSLY, there is no excuse for being RUDE.😑Okay, we are not perfect. We all have our bad moments. Right?

However, you don’t have to be a Proverbial contentious person who is just, all-too-ready to tell the others off and put them in their place. And it definately doesn’t justify treating another human being with deep disrespect.RudenessHurts. Weallhave feelings. Lets be honest: NOBODY likes to spend time around someone like that. I know I don’t.

For most of my life, I didn’t pay much attention to Rude…

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Forgive My Grammar

They’re or their. You’re or your. Prescriptive grammar, misplaced modifier, faulty pronoun reference and many others, it can sometimes make people question your intellect. However, we all have been guilty of making grammar errors. I write on my blog alone without help unlike others bloggers. Sometimes I will have a thought and just blog about it. A lot of times I will reread my posts later to check for things that I may have missed.

I’m not above making mistakes in my writing. Heck, I have found errors in newspapers and textbooks. Which is why I don’t get pressed about the grammar police.

Steve Vai said something that was really cool. He said don’t worry about what other people think about what you do as long as you love it. He further went on to say that if he had of listened to people the song “For the Love of God” would not have been. A friend of his told him that it terrible but it turned out to be one of his biggest hits. To all of the grammar police out there, please excuse my errors. You know what I mean!!!
Grammar-Police