Black women

Who Cares?

I am digging down deep in the depths of my soul and saying this most nonchalantly. “Who cares?” Who cares about who a person dated in their past? If it’s not affecting you in any way why is it any of your business?

I had touched on this subject before however, a recent situation pushed me to blog about it once more. A black woman felt compelled to explain her current dating choice because of her past dating choices. This situation is about interracial dating. I am over people who want to bond through the pain because they can’t stand to see others happy. Who this woman was in the past and who she is today more than likely aren’t the same. Everything happens for a reason, and everything serves some purpose. Adverse situations can teach people that they deserve better. We live. We learn. We grow. This black woman that I speak of used to date both black and white men. She has since decided to partner with white men only. So what? There could be several reasons why she has chosen to change her dating choices, things like past relationships, or doing what she always wanted to do. I can relate. My mother didn’t welcome my preference for white men, and she made me feel like I was doing something wrong. I get that she came up in a different time, but it didn’t change my desires. She allowed me to listen to heavy metal but watching the videos was so hard. I loved watching the video of handsome white men with gorgeous long hair. The video for Christian Woman by Type O Negative changed my life.

We all are quick to say live your life, but if you don’t have the support of your family, certain life events can be challenging to pursue when people are making you feel as if you are doing something wrong or they show that they are straight against it. We all need support, which is the reason why people keep their deepest desires to themselves until they feel confident enough to act on them.

It’s so vital for us to love and know ourselves enough to do what is best for us in our lives. If there is one that I have learned over the years through the bullying etc. is that it’s essential to love yourself. I have seen people attempting to expose someone else as a way to stop them from pursuing their happiness — the same way this black woman’s past relationships came out. Just because a person is afraid to act on their desires doesn’t give them the green light to influences yours these people’s opinions should be the least to be concerned about especially if these people are strangers. Why are these people attempting to stop someone else’s happiness? We should never forget that messengers have motives. Some people will stop at nothing to keep others miserable. What could be so wrong about being attracted to someone from a different race? After all, love has no color. We should be able to love who we want unapologetically without feeling the need to explain ourselves.

My Very First Celebrity Crush

Regina King recently shared who was her all time celebrity crush. She has been crushing on Sam Elliot since her late teens.
As most people know my current celebrity crush is Jack White however my first celebrity crush was Roland Orzabal. Roland is the lead singer of Tears for Fears. I have always been a huge fan of Tears for Fears and I will continue to be.
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A Love Like Theirs

Richonne Baby!!! I have always admired Rick and Michonne’s relationship. Was Rick married to Lori? Yes. However, Rick and Lori’s marriage was rocky before the zombie apocalypse. Rick talk to Shane about Lori always being angry with him. As soon as Lori thought that Rick was dead, she began sleeping with Rick’s best friend, Shane. Lori even got pregnant by Shane. How could she cheat on her husband so quickly? I believe that Lori and Shane were always attracted to one another. She joked with Rick about not being able to get a divorce during a zombie apocalypse. Was Rick attracted to Jessie? Yes, but she was married to someone else. Michonne was the woman that he trusted and confided in the must. Michonne changed Rick’s life for the better; in fact, their relationship was the first healthy relationship that he ever had. Rick and Michonne’s relationship consists of essential things, a natural friendship, mutual trust, and most importantly, excellent communication. Rick’s son Carl loved Michonne he told her that she was his best friend. Like it or not, Rick and Michonne were destined to be together long before they ever met. Sometimes it takes being with other people to understand what’s for you and what isn’t. Michonne knows when to give input, and she knows when to trust Rick’s choices. She’s loyal to his face and stands up for him behind his back. Yes, we know that it’s just a tv show but how sad it is to think that a relationship like theirs on exist on television?
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It’s Sunday, February 10th and I am counting down to 9 p.m, that’s when the Walking Dead will may its return. I will miss seeing Rick and Michonne together; their love is like no other. Like a person who was once head over hills for a person but has since laid the torch down yet reminisce every so often. I am still hopeful that Rick and Michonne will reconnect one day.

The Story of My Life

Growing up my walls were plastered with posters of Skid Row, Kiss, Cinderella etc. My mother bought me t-shirts with Guns N Roses and Pantera on them. I’ve never went a long with what was considered to be the collective of the black community. I listen to all music but metal/ rock music is my favorite besides the lyrics in the rap music of today are disrespectful. I’m not interested in music that constantly degrades women it just isn’t cool. There are some women who listens to this kind of music with the excuse of well they aren’t talking about me. Which is so completely lame. Some of these rappers only concern is to make money not even wanting a gold or platinum record like how it was years ago. Rappers years ago wanted to make positive changes in the community. Things are so different from years ago that it almost breaks my heart.

The thing about the internet and social media people are able to connect and tell their truths. I can totally relate about being told that I’m not black enough because of my choices in music, social views etc. What’s being black enough anyway? Isn’t my skin color enough? I never understood the phrases “acting white” or “not being black enough”. Still I’ve heard this most of my life. It only kept me isolated when I was young. I can definitely relate to this video it’s the story of my life.

Alexis Brown

As most people know February is black history month. Every year I enjoy finding out things that I never knew which are enlightening. Who doesn’t know about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. or Rosa Parks? So I decided to look up black women of the heavy metal world, which isn’t a surprise. I love metal and rock and roll. Last year I wrote about the band Living Colour and Jimi Hendrix. Most people are familiar with the people that I just named and even the group King’s X. What do you know about Straight Line Stitch? They go so hard. Oh my gosh!!!

Alexis Brown has been the lead singer of Straight Line Stitch since 2003; she’s a black woman and very beautiful. When it comes to heavy metal, I feel that women in general, regardless of skin color, don’t get their dues. Women can go just as hard as men in metal.

A few cool things about Alexis are Goofy is her favorite Disney character, she named her cat Waffles because it’s Goofy’s cat’s name as well, she’s an old school horror fanatic, and she had a baby by the bassist Jason White.

Alexis was born and raised in Tennessee. Straight Line Stitch started in Knoxville, Tennessee. They have been on tour with Slayer which says a lot. My favorite songs by Straight Line Stitch are Black Veil, Taste of Ashes, and What You Do to Me. When you get a chance, please give this band a listen it’s so worth it.

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Why Do We Do It?

I will never understand how come some black women can quickly turn on one another. It’s a shame. Yesterday I read a post by one of my facebook friends saying that her son’s friends don’t dated black women because we have attitudes amongst other not so pleasant things that I do not care to repeat. She posted about it, so it has me wondering. In my mind, messengers have motives, what was her motive? An excuse for why it’s all right for black men to date non-black women. I’ve said this before, and I’ll repeat it. I could give a hill of beans about who date who it’s the double standards that I can’t stand. People will come for me but will ignore the facts that I have to back up what I say. I will not be a product of tribal shaming. I will not go into silence.

Any insults that happen to me are just ways to silence me, and why is that? As long as I go along with the program, it’s all good. As long as I get in line, it’s all good. Welp. I am not a Kindergartner. I won’t get treated like a child. I’m all for people living their lives, therefore, allow me to live mine! Don’t pick and choose who should get attacked and who doesn’t think that’s a bully’s mentality. The attacking of others with the hope of isolating them from others I can’t get with. I am making people feel like they are unworthy of a better life according to someone else’s standards. When a person speaks the truth, the people who don’t want to receive it quickly label it as being negative. Everything that I named is silencing tactics, and I won’t stand for it. Bullies attempt to bully those who they feel are weaker than them. I serve only one God I sure as heck won’t deal with humans trying to play God in my life. If people don’t like what I have to write, don’t read my blog leave me be (let me live my life) just like how you guys allow men like Nick Cannon to do so.

Black women get trashed by their fellow sisters but did Nick Cannon get trashed? Nope, He wasn’t. Nick Cannon spoke of how dating white women is the ultimate status symbol. Uh huh!!! What will be said about this? The most that will be said about Nick Cannon is that he is “cornball” and that is at a minimum. So far, I have not seen any attacks on Nick Cannon. There will not be any attacking campaigns on Nick Cannon, trust me on this one. A person like me can be, and a person like me is picked apart, and I can’t take people who have double standards seriously. I’ve been attacked mostly by black women, and I don’t care. It’s understood that a made up mind can’t be changed; however, that can make a person narrow-minded. I, for one, refuse to continue to turn a blinded eye to this kind of situations. I am glad that more and more black men like Nick Cannon are showing who they truly are maybe then people will begin to see the truth.

My Weight Loss Journey

I finally feel comfortable talking about my weight loss journey. There is nothing sexy about obesity, as a matter of fact it’s a life-threatening situation.

Most of the people on my mother’s side of the family has an issue with weight so genetics plays a role in my struggle. A few years ago I lost 170 pounds. Yes. You heard right. I did not have weight loss surgery. I lost the weight by walking and watching what I ate.

I am a emotional eater. Emotional eating is done in order to deal with negative situations. Unfortunately,I ended up gaining a lot of my weight back. I tried being a vegan but that didn’t work. Every diet or lifestyle isn’t for everyone which is why there are so many different diets.

Recently, I discovered the ketogenic diet and it has changed my life completely! I am getting closer to the weight that I was when I first lost all the weight the last time. Thank You Father God! Yes, I love who I am on the inside but the outside matters as well. There is nothing cute about being a fat girl!
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I will definitely be blogging more about my weight loss journey. When we make our minds up about a goal anything is possible! I am beyond the moon proud of my body transformation. Now I am back to being in a really happy place again.

Racist Boyfriend?

Yesterday was a crazy day for me. On Facebook, I’m in a couple of swirl groups. I swear the people who allow people into the groups should make sure that they are screened more thoroughly. I think that some are black men hiding behind a fake profile picture.

There was a question asked in the group. The question was, can a white man date a black woman and be racist? Here we go going through the same thing. Here we go again!

It’s always someone who is trying to scare black women from being open-minded about who she wants to date. The question opened up a sea of emotions. This person caused hysteria with this one question it opened up all kinds of what ifs. Some of the women started to speak of some white men possibly having fetishes but that doesn’t bother me here’s why:
fet·ish
ˈfediSH/Submit
noun
1.
A form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.
“Victorian men developed fetishes focusing on feet, shoes, and boots.”

Most black men love black women’s butts!!!! Trust me on this; I’m just saying.

The question made some of the white men in the group feel uncomfortable, and I didn’t blame them. It had some people questioning white men’s motives for dating black women — just a bunch of foolishness. We should be allowed to date who we choose without people trying to destroy it, and it was a black woman doing it.

Some black men have wasted years that should have been spent on developing a career or getting a degree and instead have accumulated baggage like children with different women, out of wedlock, of course. The 77% out of wedlock birth rate proves this. Let’s not get me started on the IBM they aren’t marrying anyone, but they are open to multiple women trying out for a position that they aren’t thinking about. The fact is there is a shortage of quality black men, and the solution is to date out.

We can’t live in fear of what could happen. Are there racist white men that a black woman could come across? Sure. Just like a black woman could come across a black man who’s abusive, disrespectful, and a cheater. The chances of a racist white guy dating a black woman are slim to none. That’s facts.

Look every time we take a chance at love there is a possibility that a bad thing could happen and good things can happen too. Still, good things can’t happen if we aren’t open to the opportunity! The right man for us may not look like what we expect. Expectations and assumptions only help us to miss out because they are always wrong. I refuse to live in fear. If there is a black woman, who fears dating white men because of the chance that they may be racist, there is an excellent solution for that don’t swirl. It’s just that simple.

Your Best You

What works for us may not work for someone else however we need to make sure that we don’t hold ourselves back.

Yesterday I saw so many things that had me thinking about how some people aren’t ready to give themselves the best. We have to stay away from people who deprive themselves and want starve us of our dreams as well.

Most of my life I have had a battle with my weight. Recently I started the Keto Diet and I have been making excellent progress. I’ve lost tons of weight several times in my life so I know the struggle. Anyway I put a picture on Facebook of myself and seconds later I saw a post in my Newsfeed pertaining to Christians who are vain. I hardly ever upload pictures but this lady is overweight. She may attempt to call me vain but she may have a problem with jealousy.

It is said that a picture speaks a thousand words well I beg to differ. My picture is of a woman who has had a battle with weight and a mother who had the battle as well. My mother died of cancer in 1997 and she was overweight. The doctors told me that if my mother had of been slimmer they could have helped her to live longer. The fact is our health is our wealth. We can’t do anything without having good health.

I remember when a lady on YouTube spoke of black women getting their health together and some women got upset but she was right!! In the black community black men tell black women to stay thick the problem is what people think is thick. Newflash thick isn’t obesity. Obesity is the leading cause of certain illnesses like diabetes and high blood pressure.

We should be our best selves. When we are at our best the best harvest is received. Healthy people most times live longer.

I’ve come to realize that most times people aren’t ready to hear the truth even if it’s something that can help them too. Why wouldn’t we want to be the best us?

I remember watching old contestants from world biggest losers and they shared how their perfect weight wasn’t always the recommended weight. They were healthy at a weight that was best for them.

Over the years we have heard about being comfortable with ourselves and that’s a great mindset as long as we are healthy.

I have acid reflux and when I’m overweight I pay for it dearly. I would never put a person down about their weight. I’ve been slim and overweight so I understand the struggle. I only want to inspire and uplifted others. Our lives are not just our own. I have two sons depending on me and I want to be here for them.

Yes! I’m a Christian and we believe that our bodies are temporary however we still need to be healthy. We take care of our houses and cars. Why not our bodies as well?

Just a Thought

I have been meaning to post about this days ago. It’s about Nia Wilson she was killed because of a random act. Everywhere on Facebook it’s hashtag justice for Nia Wilson. I would like to say that I have her family in my prayers.

I find some of the people of my race comical. I read a post by a black man that said:
Dear White Men,
“In my presence Do Not And I Repeat Do Not Disrespect, Touch, Cuss, Do Anything To Harm My Black Women!”
Is this brother serious? I have seen him tell black women when they complain about black men to “choose better.” This is the kind of stuff that I am talking about!!! I can’t and don’t take some of these black men seriously. The hypocrisy is unreal! I see it every day.

What I am about to write could piss people off but it’s my opinion which I am entitled to. There is a video that I saw and the lady made a lot of sense. She spoke of how when she researched further about the Nia Wilson’s story that she found other stories that no one was talking about.

I’ll tell you the reason why the Nia Wilson story is talked about and not the others for the same reason why Rosa Parks was talked about and Claudette Colvin wasn’t. Or the Lovings and not Elinor Powell. The black community pick and choose the stories that they want to get outraged about. Some black people look at looks, prestige, and skin color as important and blame the white race. If you don’t believe me read Claudette Colvin’s story.

The moment that some black people see a situation with a white person they scream racism. It’s not always about race. I’m so sorry about Nia Wilson but the fact is more black women die by the hands of black men. There are more violent black on black crimes than black people being killed by another race. Murder is never right by anyone’s hands just like it’s not right to make up excuses about black on black crime. Where is the outrage about domestic violence? Where is the outrage when an innocent child is killed during a drive by? Where is the outrage about gang violence?

I wrote a post about this a few days ago all of my life I have embraced who I am. I have never followed the trend but did what made me happy. The point is some black people in the community pick and choose what to get outraged out as well as who to embrace. I have been mistreated by people who share my skin color however that’s a post for another day.

All life is precious and no one has the right to cut someone else’s short I don’t care what race the person is.