I’m Not For Racism

I’m not for racism but I can’t stand hypocrisy either. Stupidity doesn’t work well for me. I have said this time and time again I hate the “N” word, no one should use it regardless of their race!

Yes. The CEO of Papa John’s was wrong along with everyone who uses racial slurs no one is better than a anyone else. Some black people use the “N” word but get up in an uproar when someone from another race uses it. What’s the difference? Can someone please explain this to me? I read a post from a person stating that they didn’t feel sorry for the CEO of Papa John’s that they don’t feel sorry for racists. Yet this person has never corrected the black people who uses the word. The person only talked about the “racist white people” who uses it. Well let me ask something is a black person who uses the “N” word racist? One needs to be careful about the reasons why it’s okay for black people to be able to use that word.

The definition of the “N” word is Slang: Extremely Disparaging and Offensive.
a contemptuous term used to refer to a black person.
a contemptuous term used to refer to a member of any dark-skinned people.

This is why I speak of the dysfunction within the black community some thinks it’s okay to use the “N” like they get a free pass. If this word is so offensive why is it okay for anyone to use it? I have some people who want to bully me because of my mentality it’s okay with me because I don’t take them seriously.

I get tired of all the foolishness that I see. Every time a white person gets caught saying a racial slur “it’s see I told you” but they don’t correct the black people who say it. I believe and I could be wrong but some people love to choose battles that are easy. Some black people know if they complain enough companies will fire people and apologize immediately. They won’t say anything to the black people who use the “N” because they may use it themselves or the feel that they are justified to use it.

Some people have a bullying spirit they are ready to jump on those who they can intimidate. Just like how some of these black men be on the internet calling black women names and talking about how they are. Some of these black men claim to care about the community but they don’t say a word to black men. The last time I checked the black community consisted of more than just the women. And no I’m not getting off track I’m talking about the hypocrisy that goes on.

When some black people get upset about another race using the “N” word and not their own. Isn’t that calling the kettle black? Come on now!!! People are good at holding up a mirror up at other people but would rather drop it and chance getting cut by glass before they are willing to face themselves.

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It’s a Trend?

There are a few swirl groups that I belong to and I am glad that I am in them every day I am seeing more black women and white men getting together. I just seen a white man and a black woman get married, the wedding was so beautiful. It’s incredibly awesome seeing love win. Today in one of the groups a person asked when you see a swirl couple in public honestly how does that make you feel? I answered of course by saying that it makes me happy to see black women opening themselves up to other possible avenues to happiness. What we think is meant to happen may not happen like we expect. But we can never receive the happiness that we deserve by placing limits on who can make us happy.

I have already shared my background at a young age I told my mother that I was attracted to white men, she didn’t take it well at first. The same way children go through puberty and decides which sex they are attracted to, I discovered that I was attracted to white men. It’s just that simple. So, no I wasn’t hurt white men is what I have always preferred. Sorry that you can’t minimize my attraction to being bitter or hurt. Nice try though.
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In the 90s there wasn’t swirl groups or anyone I knew that could give me advice on dating interracially. Still I understand that it took for us to go through the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s to get here today and I am extremely grateful.

If there is one thing that can grind my gears is a person downplaying or reducing a situation to nothing. When a person does that it’s a sign that they don’t want to face the reality of the truth. Recently, I read a comment on a video pertaining to interracial dating the commenter called black women and white men dating a trend. Dude are you serious right now?
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The commenter was a black man, now don’t get your feathers ruffled I am in no way saying that all black men have a problem with interracial dating. So chill out okay.
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I want black women to do whatever it is that makes them happy but let’s prove people wrong. Show the black men who thinks that white men and black women getting together is a trend that it isn’t a trend. The way to do this is to be totally attracted to white men to begin with. Black women should not date white men for stupid reasons like trying something new or if they have been hurt. I once knew a white guy who told me that a black woman only wanted to date him because she wanted a mixed child. Some people fail to realize that one life touches another if possible change a person’s life for the better not for the worse.

There are a lot of black women who are educated, speaks intellectually, attractive, have morals, can cook, and career driven etc. Every day I see black women breaking stereotypes about the so-called norms pertaining to us. It’s a great time to be alive. It’s a great time for white men and black women to be in love.

Love Isn’t

If I see another commercial for the new show Love is, I am going to scream. Love is a new show that will be on OWN the commercial is being played in heavy rotation. It looks like it’s about struggle love and well I won’t be watching it.

Guess who doesn’t seem to be enduring struggle love? Okay, I’ll give you a hint. The show Love is will be on her network. Yeap. Oprah. We all know goodness well that she wouldn’t take any kind of mess from no one especially from a man. She has been with Stedman for how many years? I’m pretty sure that she has never had to question Stedman’s love for her or take any kind of mistreatment. I bet he has proposed too. But she’s featuring struggle love on her network. Come on now.

We all know that most people mimic what they see on television. That’s why on commercials that displays crazy stunts there are small words on the bottom of the t.v screen saying please do not attempt because there are people who are silly enough to do it. Just look at the fire challenges and other crazy challenges.

Lets talk about what love isn’t it’s not a struggle because real love shouldn’t be. I for one am not glutton for punishment. Yeah I said it. One have to question their self-esteem if they are willing to put up with mistreatment. Some things are by choice whether we choose to accept this or not.

When I watch Maury and the women be on the show talking about the reasons why they feel that their men are cheating. I be thinking to myself how much more proof do you need? Why do you need a lie detector test? The boyfriend or husband is then brought on stage to tell their lie I mean their side of the story. Maury reads the results that these women already knew. Sometimes these men make out with a decoy knowing it’s a set-up but they don’t care. The women run backstage crying while the men are looking all stupid in the face and some be snickering. Why should it be such a power struggle between what you deserve and why you choose to settle for less? I just don’t get it.

What is going on? Now a days it’s about how much abuse is a person willing to take to prove their love, it’s crazy to me. We teach people how to treat us. A person who truly loves you would never want to see you hurt.
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Bottom line when you force yourself to be with someone who isn’t meant for you, you’re only prolonging what is meant. People have to know their worth and go for what they deserve. If you are feeling more hurt than love then you already know what to do, let it go.

I Stand Corrected

Yesterday I wrote a post about the out of wedlock rate for black single mothers as 72%. I stand corrected after further research the number has grown to 77%. It’s sad to me instead of some people wanting to face the issue they rather question the information. I read a black guy’s comment in a video attempting to debunk the number based on most black people not taking a census. SMH! I don’t need a census I see a lot of single black mothers. Denial is a heck of a drug!

Another thing when I spoke of people attacking me for speaking the truth I still stand on that. Some people don’t like to hear the truth. Many times when some people have a losing position and are unable to formulate a sound logical argument to counter what a person is saying the next thing they do is attack you!!! These people will do whatever they can to attempt to discourage a person from speaking truth. I am not worried I am not perfect and neither are the people attacking me. How about coming up with solutions for this out of wedlock rate problem? If not the numbers will continue to grow. So who’s to blame for it?

http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/77-black-births-to-single-moms-49-for-hispanic-immigrants

This is an old video but it has a great message.

Victim or Victor?

First off I would like to share that I have four more courses left and I will receive my Bachelor’s degree. After I receive my Bachelor’s degree I will pursue a Master’s degree. I have to thank God for all that He has done for me!

Now that I have gotten that part out of the way, currently I am taking a course in Victimology. Victimology is the scientific study of physical, emotional, and financial harm people endure because of illegal activities. One of my discussion questions was about victim blaming. Victim blaming is when the victim is made responsible for a wrongdoing that occurred to them. Victim blaming isn’t always fair people who live in poverty are assumed to be lazy or unmotivated which isn’t always the case some things happen that’s beyond one’s control. This course got me to thinking a lot.

I grew up in a Christian home and I am very proud about this. Along the way in my life, I have made mistakes that had nothing to do with God. God gives us free will and I chose to live Not according to His Will so I paid the price. I made my bed so I have to lay in it until I get to where I am meant to be. I am not a person who constantly blame others and never myself. The victim role isn’t my thing I want to be victorious but it can’t happen if I am constantly blaming people and licking my wounds.

People may look at my life from the outside it may look one way but trust me it will turn out another way. People look at being rich in money and things as being successful that is not true being content is being rich. Rich people have more problems than anyone. Like Biggie said “More money more problems”. I would be happy just being able to take great care of my sons, be healthy, physically, mentally, and emotionally as well as number one have a relationship with God. Understand this it’s not about being rich in things I never will be, I am responsible for where I am and not God. I am rich because I have grown from my mistakes and I know better so I am doing better. God has given us so many examples that we can learn from like making mistakes in life is like losing weight change won’t happen overnight but if you stay consistent it will.

So what do I mean by all of this? Are we going to be a victim or victor? Have I made mistakes in the past? Yes, and I have grown from them. I probably will make mistakes in the future. We have to sometimes make wrong turns before making right ones. I choose to evaluate myself before I blame anyone else. I choose to be victorious!

Like a Sister

We see it on television or social media every day a person who was considered to be a sister who betrayed another in the worse way. Is there any true sisterhood anymore? Are there any loyal sisters today?

It’s all about the respect and the value that people choose to place on things like friendships, relationships, marriages, and yes sisterhood.

I saw a beautiful post and it’s so how I am. The post said ” I am a woman’s woman and a faithful friend. I won’t run off with your man. I won’t hate you because you’re beautiful. I’ll celebrate your success as my own. I’ll keep your secrets and listen to your rants. I choose my friends carefully and if I choose you, I’ll love you like a sister.

I don’t take pleasure in pulling other sisters down. No matter where I am in life through my highs and lows I am never stingy with a compliment. If a sister has lost weight, a new place, new hair-do I will tell her, that I am proud, that she’s beautiful. Never will I undermine a sister’s accomplishment she deserves her props. One thing I don’t do and that’s jock another sister’s style, I am a confident woman I don’t constantly need the spotlight.

This world is already wicked and filled with heartless hateful people. Being negative is easy to do, seeing the best in people can be hard if we focus on the bad things only. There is peace in positivity.

Being mean and fault finding all the time isn’t healthy it’s good to have awareness of the negative people and situations. However, it’s good to enjoy things as well as people that come along.

I choose to believe that there are still good people and that means sisters of every color. Flowers bloom together, they don’t compete because each has their own unique beauty. I’m keeping faith about true sisterhood. It exists.

Go Ahead

It never ceases to amaze me. The moment I share that I enjoy heavy metal a pop quiz always follows with a continuation of questionnaires. How long have you been listening to metal? I was talking about the Red Hot Chili Peppers and the person was like, what is the leader of the band’s name? Like really dude? If it was hip-hop would I be given the third degree? Geez, I didn’t know that listening to certain music came with stipulations.

When some black people find out they swear that I don’t listen to metal. Whatever dude. Black people were the pioneers of rock music, so get over it. I am a black woman who enjoys listening to heavy metal and I am Not alone. I try not to get triggered but I just hate labels. Labels suck!!! Don’t place them on me!
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I have been listening to heavy metal every since I was really young. Pantera, Korn, Arch Enemy, In this moment, new metal and old I am very knowledgeable. My love for music is genuine.