Happy Father’s Day

It’s not easy being a single parent, it’s something that no-one signs up for. Parenting isn’t about just the easy stuff like picking something from out the refrigerator for the children to eat or taking them to the park. Parenting is about the hard stuff too like staying up all night when a child gets sick or for me helping your autistic son to understand what puberty is. Indeed, parenting can become a frustrating job at times and some mothers want to claim father’s day too.

Believe it or not there are a lot of excellent fathers who are in their children’s lives. Some fathers are still with the mothers of their children and are a positive entity. There are fathers who weathered the storm of the ups and downs in a relationship or marriage. There are also fathers who aren’t with the mothers of their children but his presence is still felt. There are fathers who don’t only see their children on holidays but often. There are fathers who take their children to school who knows their children favorite foods and colors. There are fathers who are making memories with their children not just making children who dream of seeing them. There are fathers who don’t just pay child support and feel that’s enough. There are fathers who put their children first and it stays that way regardless of whatever happens.

There are fathers who want to see their children but can’t. There are fathers who are single parents too. Is it really okay to rob the excellent fathers of their day because some of the mothers are in their feelings? Mothers day is in May. Father’s day is in June. Single parents day is in March we must understand the difference. Happy Father’s day to all of the great fathers around the world you are appreciated truly. Blessings!

The Art of Forgiveness

The moment a person hurts me
I forgive
The moment a person uses me
I forgive
The moment a person judges me
I forgive
The moment a person breaks my heart
I forgive
The moment a person disappoint me
I forgive
The moment the person betrays me
I forgive
The moment that a person makes me
Feel anything else besides positive
I forgive
If a person does these things to me
I develop an understanding
Rather what was done to me was done
Purposely or not
I choose to forgive
The moment that I forgive my peace
Begins and my pain ends
Forgiveness is a process
Don’t know if it can ever be perfected
It’s hard to forget
About a messed up situation
Especially when most of the time
The biggest test of forgiveness
Is forgiving a person who caused pain
That came from a person whom
Was trusted the most
Betrayal rarely comes from a stranger
Forgiveness isn’t holding on to grudges
It’s letting go of them
Besides the person doesn’t know or care
About the trouble that they caused
We all need a lesson
It’s a two way street
We all at one point has hurt someone
Purposely or unintentionally
All we can do is ask for forgiveness
You can’t push it
If we do
That means we are only thinking of ourselves
We want to be free of guilt
When we do wrong we must deal with
It and respect a person’s space
Closure may mean losing a person without a trace
Just be thankful for God’s grace
Many times that has to be enough

Check Out the Lyrics

As we all know music is powerful. The other day a person that I follow on YouTube made some interesting points about the song No Pain No Gain by Betty Wright. People of my generation grew up listening to that song. In my opinion the song can be looked at from two different ways obviously. The song no pain no gain was a popular song. Anyway the person on YouTube felt that the song had an negative effect on women. Basically the song encourages women to take bull crap from men. I have to admit that she has a point.

I have decided to share lyrics from songs on my blog to check the meaning. Here are the lyrics to No Pain No Gain by Betty Wright. Are the lyrics uplifting or do they keep women in bad relationships? Isn’t love about give and take? When is enough a enough in a relationship? There will be ups and downs in every relationship. Hmmmm.

“No Pain, No Gain”

Ooh…ooh…ooh…

My baby and are back together again
Lovin’ is better than it’s ever been
If it weren’t for the trials we’ve been through
I’d never have the courage to come back to you

We’re all entitled to make a mistake
We got to prepare for some heartbreak
I as earnin’ my man, while I was learnin’ my man
Something you young girls might not understand

No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain), no
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

There was an old lady sittin’ under a tree
She called me over and she said to me
“My days left here may not be long
I wouldn’t waste my time tellin’ you nothin’ wrong

But love is a flower that needs the sun and the rain
A little bit of pleasure’s worth a whole lot of pain
If you learn this secret, how to forgive
A longer and better life you’ll live’

No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain), mmm
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

Anything worth havin’ at all
Is worth workin’ for and waitin’ for
Some of my closest friends
Have thought they had their thing on a string
Just ’cause that man was bringin’ ’em flowers and candy and all kinds of gifts
Mmm, mmm, honey
Some gifts are just to make him feel better while he’s on his guilt trip
About the night before
You know what I mean
Especially when you know you haven’t been doin’ the things you should do
Think about it
What is the man tryin’ to tell you
Sometimes flowers mean “Maybe we should just be friends’
Do you get my drift
Hang if you can hang
No pain, no gain

In order to get something
You got to give something
In order to be something
You got to go through something

Be a cook in the kitchen, a lady in the streets
You can’t show your teeth to every guy you meet
It’s alright to be a little sweet
But be a mama with the kids and you know what in the sheets

No pain (No pain)
No pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

See, you can’t give up ’cause times get hard
It’s just that old evil devil trying to keep us apart
Say devil you ain’t getting nothin’ here
I’m holding on to my man and have no fear

No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain), oh
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

See you can’t give up ’cause times get hard
It’s just that old devil tryin’ keep us apart
Say devil, you ain’t got nothin’ here
I’m holdin’ to my man, and have no fear

No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)
No-no pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

Oh, no pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)
No-no-no-no pain (No pain, no pain), no-no-no-no-no-no-no pain (No gain)
No-no pain, no-no pain (No pain), no-no pain (No pain), no pain (No gain), no pain

No pain (No pain, no pain, no gain)
In order to get something (No pain), give something (No pain)
To be something (No gain) you got to go through something
(No pain, no pain, no gain)

Oh…no pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)
No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no (No pain)
No-no-no-no (No pain, no gain)

No…no pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)
You’re really not to gain anything (No pain, no pain)
Without (No gain) goin’ through some pain

No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No-no (No gain)

(No pain, no pain, no gain)
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No pain (No gain), no gain, no pain, no gain

Get something (No pain, no pain)
You got to go through something (No gain)
No pain (No pain), no pain (No pain)
No gain (No gain)

Hear me when I say no pain, no gain (No pain), no pain, no gain (No pain)
No pain, no gain (No gain)

Knowing Your Front Row

I was blessed to read this phenomenal book called The Woman Code by Sophia A. Nelson. The last time I read a book for enjoyment was a little over a year ago. The Woman Code gave me life it contains 20 important keys that a woman should apply to her life. I absolutely love the book and recommend it to any woman who’s willing to listen. Sophia is a Christian and used scriptures to support what she wrote in her book.

There was so many things about the book that  I loved the main thing was knowing your front row. It’s essential to know your front row it’s what some people like to call a circle not me though. A person knowing their front row makes way more sense. It’s taking a long hard look at the people who are closest to you. The people closest to you that doesn’t live in your home. What kind of people are closest to you? Are they loyal? Are they kind? What kind of faith do they have? Does the people closest match you? People are an important resource. My mother always used to say that no man is an island everybody needs somebody even Christ had twelve disciples.

It’s important to know your front row. I want people who are honest and want the best for me as  I do them. I don’t want yes men or yes women, yes people will lead a person to water and allow them to drown. I don’t want disloyal people because the front row can poison the back rows. People will assume that everything a person says that is closest to you is accurate after all they are close to you. One mistake that I used to make besides being a people pleaser was always trying to recycle relationships with people. In life we have to let some people go especially when their time is up in our lives. Some people are either for a reason so they stay or a season so they go away.

A little bit off topic on the Walking Dead Rick wouldn’t let go of Shane. Shane had slept with his wife and got her pregnant. Shane not only poisoned Rick’s marriage but the people around them. Shane went against Rick the whole way it took Shane trying to kill Rick before he realized that the friendship was over. Sometimes we get stuck in our fantasy about people that we refuse to face the reality. I also believe that we sometimes hold on to people out of fear like will they talk about you. People will talk about you no matter what if anything holding on is giving them more information. We have to learn how to not feed the wrong people information. We have to think like Kenny Rogers got to know when to hold them, fold them and walk away. True facts!!! When a person shows you who they are believe them. When a relationship is over let it go. There’s power in letting go and pain in holding on.

I think that we have to really learn to trust God and listening to that small still voice. God will never leave us nor forsake us He promised this. I’m praying that God gives me discernment to recognize who doesn’t belong in my front row, protection from poisonous people and the strength to let the people go. I don’t want the wrong people in my front row poisoning the back row disturbing my audience.

The Kids of Today Will Never Know

The kids of today will never know the awesomeness of having payphones on every corner or record stores. Oh how I love the 80s and 90s they hold so many wonderful memories. Growing up I had so many cool things it was a blessing to be a kid without being rushed to become an adult. This generation of kids know so much but feel so little very desensitized. I loved coming home to my stereo record player, albums, cassettes, poster plaster walls and wall phone with it’s extremely long cord. Children of today will never know about Track, Sam Goody and Tower records stores being able to purchase a single on a cassette or a 45. The kids of today won’t ever know about getting ten cassettes for a penny from Columbia house in the mail. The kids of today will never know about having humongous posters that covers 1/4 of a wall. The kids of today will never know the joy of recording a song in it’s entirety from off of the radio it was like winning the lottery. Music made so much sense and it all meant something pride was placed into every song. In my day an artist hopes was to be beyond a one hit wonder. Everything was wholesome I want my MTV, my BET and my VH1, music videos 24/7 I was in heaven!!! Did I ever mention it was my dream to become a VJ on MTV?  I loved reading Right On, Hit Parader, Tiger beat and  Word Up magazines. One of my fondest memories is when my stepdad got soaked in the rain to get me a magazine featuring New Edition and not one page got wet (don’t ask me how he did it). I could go on and on about my memories growing up it was so fun. I feel so bad for this generation.

Missing You Always

Some days are harder than others

Birthdays, holidays, a child’s birth

Wondering how it would be

If you were here with us

I really wish that you

Were on Earth

February 2nd is your birthday

February 3rd 1997 is the day and year

That  you left from here

So many things have taken place

Both good and bad

No matter what

I miss seeing your face

It’s 2017

20 years have gone by

Even now  I still cry

Memories help me to keep going

Like the circus blizzard of March 1980

5 months pregnant

Walking in the snow to

Come to get me off of the school bus

Millions of reasons why you have

And will always will be my hero

Hoping and praying that  I am able

To be at least a fraction of

A person that  you were

I miss you

Not just on Mother’s Day

Not just on Thanksgiving Day

Not just on Christmas Day

But every single day

There will always be

A huge hole in my heart

A band aid nor a first aid kit

Can fix the damage

It’s still hard to manage

Jesus has been my fence

Helping me with the healing

I feel so blue

Everyday that I live

I miss  you mom

You instilled in me

So many things

That are very helpful

Right to this very day

Which have been blessings

I won’t deny my feelings

I am human

I don’t know every answer

I don’t always understand

All  I know is everything

Works as part of God’s plan

Including those He chooses

To call home to Heaven

I continue to trust Him

Grateful for the time

We did spend

Thankful that you raised me

To know God Almighty

Because of that  I believe and know

That  I will see you again

Mom I miss you and  I love you

 

Matthew 5:4

 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

 

Sexual Abuse in The Church

Bishop Eddie Long passed away today and there are mixed feelings about it. Let me start off by saying  I don’t care about the denomination sexual abuse is wrong. Sexual abuse is deep beneath the skin it’s a sin issue. The church is a place where everyone is suppose to feel and be safe. Bishop Eddie Long molested young boys in his church. I pray that he got right with God and repented. The problem with the church is the wrong people are leading and people are following blindly.

We have to understand that no one is exempt from falling in our faith so we must remain humble always. We have to stay on fire with God it requires us to stay connected with those who are burning. I want people to let me know if  I am doing wrong  I want to be right for God. Back on topic there is a lot of perversion going on in the church but no one wants to discuss it. When Eddie Long victims spoke about the abuse they were treated like suspects. I watched his victims do an interview they were so broken. Sexual abuse causes a whole lot of damage not just to the ones who are abused. I feel sorry and prays for Eddie Long’s family. We must speak up about abuse it’s time to quit being silent.

Many people don’t speak up out of fear of being attacked. The words that  I speak aren’t mine they are from the Bible. I am not judging Eddie Long only God can do that. Our children are innocent we must protect them it’s our duty.

Luke 9:23 – And he said to [them] all, If any [man] will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me