Happy Birthday Kalieel

You were born ten days before my birthday
You are one of the most beautiful gifts
That I have ever been blessed to receive
Happy Birthday to my youngest son
Ever since you were born
You have been a ray of sunshine
And one of the best things
That I have ever held in my arms
Besides your brother
You know me better than anyone
In spite of you having autism
You know my favorite
Music, tv shows, video games, and football team
Our number one favorite thing is praying
Such an amazing young man
You always know how to brighten my day
When I am feeling down
You tell me that
Things will be okay
I could go on forever in a day
Telling you how much
Of a blessing that you are to me
I am so thankful
That God gave me you
I love you very much
You are my everything
To my heart
There is so much joy that you bring
Happy 15th Birthday Kalieel
I pray that God blesses
You with the desires
Of your heart
Each and every one

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Missing You Always

Some days are harder than others

Birthdays, holidays, a child’s birth

Wondering how it would be

If you were here with us

I really wish that you

Were on Earth

February 2nd is your birthday

February 3rd 1997 is the day and year

That  you left from here

So many things have taken place

Both good and bad

No matter what

I miss seeing your face

It’s 2017

20 years have gone by

Even now  I still cry

Memories help me to keep going

Like the circus blizzard of March 1980

5 months pregnant

Walking in the snow to

Come to get me off of the school bus

Millions of reasons why you have

And will always will be my hero

Hoping and praying that  I am able

To be at least a fraction of

A person that  you were

I miss you

Not just on Mother’s Day

Not just on Thanksgiving Day

Not just on Christmas Day

But every single day

There will always be

A huge hole in my heart

A band aid nor a first aid kit

Can fix the damage

It’s still hard to manage

Jesus has been my fence

Helping me with the healing

I feel so blue

Everyday that I live

I miss  you mom

You instilled in me

So many things

That are very helpful

Right to this very day

Which have been blessings

I won’t deny my feelings

I am human

I don’t know every answer

I don’t always understand

All  I know is everything

Works as part of God’s plan

Including those He chooses

To call home to Heaven

I continue to trust Him

Grateful for the time

We did spend

Thankful that you raised me

To know God Almighty

Because of that  I believe and know

That  I will see you again

Mom I miss you and  I love you

 

Matthew 5:4

 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

 

Blessings to My Son

Anthony

Sooooooooooo thankful that God
Gave you to me
I have been blessed
With many things
But you and your brother
Mean so much to me
Much joy to my heart
Is what you both bring
Everyday I look forward
To happily
I celebrate you both
For you guys are
A huge blessing
You inspire me
To push myself
Harder than I
Could ever dream
Here’s to your day
Happy Birthday Baby
I love you
For you are my
Everything! ! ! ! ! !

The Letter

My life keeps getting more and more interesting by each and every minute. I’m a huge fan of the movie Immortal Beloved it’s based on the life of Beethoven. There are so many parts of the movie I love the actor Gary Oldman did a fantastic job. Gary Oldman brought the movie to life he’s a brilliant actor underrated for sure. This movie came out in 1994 perhaps my top favorite thing besides the music was a letter that Beethoven wrote to the woman that he truly loved. Ahhhhh yes I love the words “ever thine ever mine ever ours”  words from a great man. I know what you are thinking what is Tameeka talking about now? I’ll be getting to that in a minute. My ex and I are like polar opposites it’s the truth. I don’t hate him I just look back at what we had as a life lesson. It is what it is. The posts that I write are to encourage and inspire somebody. I believe that there is someone somewhere who’s going through what I am going through. Anyway back on topic.

It’s amazing when you are trying to move on things from the past fall out of nowhere. I found a letter written by my soon to be ex husband from five years ago. That’s right five years ago. I think the purpose of the letter is for closure. It wasn’t about the letter being from him it was about what was in it. He wrote me many different letters it’s weird that this one suddenly appears. Out of all the letters written why this one I have moved from one address to another and this letter pops up. The letter had several different questions so I assume that perhaps these are unanswered questions that he may have. I will answer the questions in this post it’s not like he’ll ever read it anyway it’s all about closure. Closure is definitely a great thing.

When my ex ask questions he always wants it done with a “simple yes or no” well things aren’t always that easy.  The paragraph starts with,”Let me ask you these questions because it seems that I am not getting a straight answer from you just answer these questions with a yes or no let’s keep it simple”. Do you still want to be with me? Do you even miss me? Do you love me? Why you ain’t never  say that you love me? Do you regret being with me? When my ex got locked up it made me very angry. I wanted an intact family and it got destroyed so I was angry for a long time. When he was sentenced in 2007 I called about the status and when the lady told me 240 months I was devastated. My world came crashing down life that I knew had changed. I’m no different from other mothers I wanted the house with the white picketed fence things were ruined in a blink of an eye. At the time I did miss him it wasn’t about the financial help our sons were growing up without him. He missed out on a huge chunk of our children’s lives so many memories he will never have. Did I love him ever yes I did. It’s amazing how people can’t see how a person loved them. I showed it and told him that too. I never regretted being with my ex it took him to make our two sons. Our sons are like an exact replica of us it’s quite astonishing. I never regretted him and I never will.

I believe that closure can only happen when things are faced or we will continue to think about things and reliving things that have been long over. Being stuck in the past only robs the present which is a gift. I can’t change what happened but I have forgiven my ex as well let go of lots of anger. My ex needs to let go of his anger as well because there’s no sense in it. I pray for my ex’s salvation because he doesn’t believe in Christ. I pray that God touches his heart in a mighty way that the next marriage he has is a blessed one. In order for him to have a blessed union he has to let go of the anger and the hate it will only poison all of his relationships including the ones with our children. Taking the same old bricks into a new relationship will only destroy it and I don’t want our children to ever blame themselves. Father God touch my ex’s heart so it will soften and he let’s You in so that You can give him a new start. Lord You know that I mean every word and it’s coming from the heart. Please handle it Father God everything is in Your Hands. I thank You in advanced. Amen.

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things passed away; all things are become new.

Kingdom Women

Before we do anything

We get on our knees praying

We are always focused

On the Almighty King

We are women

Of  a different breed

We draw our strength

From reading the Bible daily

Psalms gives our hearts

Beautiful songs to sing

We are stress free

God takes care of all our needs

Everything we need

Chases after us

Blessings showers us continually

New miracles and mercies

We experience them constantly daily

We don’t care about

What man is thinking

Whether it’s talking, lying or judging

We are suited up

We’ve got our Armor of God

Our cape of the Holy Spirit

Our uniform of hope

We going out to battle

Who’s in need

Of our help

God is with us

Right now we are capable

Of doing anything

Feeling so spiritually high

That we could fly

Or the tallest buildings

Our mission always

Is to spread God’s Word

All around the world

Our rewards are heavenly

Though we aren’t looking for them

The benefits are infinite

And they come straight

From our King in Heaven