You were born ten days before my birthday
You are one of the most beautiful gifts
That I have ever been blessed to receive
Happy Birthday to my youngest son
Ever since you were born
You have been a ray of sunshine
And one of the best things
That I have ever held in my arms
Besides your brother
You know me better than anyone
In spite of you having autism
You know my favorite
Music, tv shows, video games, and football team
Our number one favorite thing is praying
Such an amazing young man
You always know how to brighten my day
When I am feeling down
You tell me that
Things will be okay
I could go on forever in a day
Telling you how much
Of a blessing that you are to me
I am so thankful
That God gave me you
I love you very much
You are my everything
To my heart
There is so much joy that you bring
Happy 15th Birthday Kalieel
I pray that God blesses
You with the desires
Of your heart
Each and every one
bless
Missing You Always
Some days are harder than others
Birthdays, holidays, a child’s birth
Wondering how it would be
If you were here with us
I really wish that you
Were on Earth
February 2nd is your birthday
February 3rd 1997 is the day and year
That you left from here
So many things have taken place
Both good and bad
No matter what
I miss seeing your face
It’s 2017
20 years have gone by
Even now I still cry
Memories help me to keep going
Like the circus blizzard of March 1980
5 months pregnant
Walking in the snow to
Come to get me off of the school bus
Millions of reasons why you have
And will always will be my hero
Hoping and praying that I am able
To be at least a fraction of
A person that you were
I miss you
Not just on Mother’s Day
Not just on Thanksgiving Day
Not just on Christmas Day
But every single day
There will always be
A huge hole in my heart
A band aid nor a first aid kit
Can fix the damage
It’s still hard to manage
Jesus has been my fence
Helping me with the healing
I feel so blue
Everyday that I live
I miss you mom
You instilled in me
So many things
That are very helpful
Right to this very day
Which have been blessings
I won’t deny my feelings
I am human
I don’t know every answer
I don’t always understand
All I know is everything
Works as part of God’s plan
Including those He chooses
To call home to Heaven
I continue to trust Him
Grateful for the time
We did spend
Thankful that you raised me
To know God Almighty
Because of that I believe and know
That I will see you again
Mom I miss you and I love you
Matthew 5:4
Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
Blessings to My Son
Anthony
Sooooooooooo thankful that God
Gave you to me
I have been blessed
With many things
But you and your brother
Mean so much to me
Much joy to my heart
Is what you both bring
Everyday I look forward
To happily
I celebrate you both
For you guys are
A huge blessing
You inspire me
To push myself
Harder than I
Could ever dream
Here’s to your day
Happy Birthday Baby
I love you
For you are my
Everything! ! ! ! ! !
The Letter
My life keeps getting more and more interesting every minute. I’m a massive fan of the movie Immortal Beloved it’s about the life of Beethoven. There are so many parts of the film I love the actor Gary Oldman did a fantastic job. Gary Oldman brought the movie to life he’s a brilliant actor underrated for sure. This movie came out in 1994, perhaps my top favorite thing besides the music was a letter that Beethoven wrote to the woman that he truly loved. Ahhhhh yes I love the words “ever thine ever mine ours” words from a great man ever. I know what you are thinking what is Tameeka talking about now? I’ll be getting to that in a minute. My ex and I are like opposites it’s the truth. I don’t hate him; I look back at what we had as a life lesson. It is what it is. The posts that I write are to encourage and inspire somebody. I believe that there is someone somewhere who’s going through what I am going through. Anyway back on topic.
It’s incredible when you are trying to move on things from the past fall out of nowhere. I found a letter written by my ex from five years ago. That’s right five years ago. I think the purpose of the letter could be for closure. It wasn’t about the letter being from him it was about what was in it. He wrote me many different letters it’s weird that this one suddenly appears. Out of all the letters written why this one I have moved from one address to another and this letter pops up. The letter had several different questions, so I assume that perhaps these are unanswered questions that he may have. I will answer the questions in this post it’s not like he’ll ever read it anyway it’s all about healing. Healing is a great thing.
When my ex ask questions he always wants it done with a “simple yes or no” well things aren’t always that easy. The paragraph starts with,”Let me ask you these questions because it seems that I am not getting a straight answer from you just answer these questions with a yes or no let’s keep it simple.” Do you still want to be with me? Do you even miss me? Do you love me? Why don’t you ever say that you love me? Do you regret being with me? When my ex got locked up, it made me very angry. I wanted an intact family, and it got destroyed, so I was mad for a long time. When he went away to prison in 2007, I called about the status, and when the lady told me 240 months, I was devastated. My world came crashing down life that I knew had changed. I’m no different from other mothers I wanted the house with the white picketed fence things were ruined in a blink of an eye. At the time I did miss him, it wasn’t about the financial help our sons were growing up without him. He missed out on a massive chunk of our children’s lives so many memories he will never have. Did I love him ever yes I did? I will always have some love for him. Real women are in touch with their feelings, and they keep it 100. It’s amazing how people can’t see how a person loved them. I showed it and told him that too. I never regretted being with my ex; it took him to make our two sons. Our sons are like a replica of us; it’s quite astonishing. I never regretted him, and I never will.
I believe that closure can only happen when things are faced, or we will continue to think about things and reliving situations that have been long over. Being stuck in the past only robs the present, which is a gift. I can’t change what happened, but I have forgiven my ex as well as let go of lots of anger. My ex needs to let go of his anger too because there’s no sense in it. I pray for my ex’s salvation because he doesn’t believe in Christ. I pray that God powerfully touches his heart. For him to have a blessed a life, he has to let go of the anger and the hate it will only poison all of his relationships, including the ones with our children. Taking the same old bricks into a new relationship will only destroy it and I don’t want our children to ever blame themselves. Father God touch my ex’s heart so it will soften and he let’s You in so that You can give him a new start. Lord You know that I mean every word and it’s coming from the heart. Please handle it Father God everything is in Your Hands. I thank You in advance. Amen.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things passed away; all things are become new.
Kingdom Women
Before we do anything
We get on our knees praying
We are always focused
On the Almighty King
We are women
Of a different breed
We draw our strength
From reading the Bible daily
Psalms gives our hearts
Beautiful songs to sing
We are stress free
God takes care of all our needs
Everything we need
Chases after us
Blessings showers us continually
New miracles and mercies
We experience them constantly daily
We don’t care about
What man is thinking
Whether it’s talking, lying or judging
We are suited up
We’ve got our Armor of God
Our cape of the Holy Spirit
Our uniform of hope
We going out to battle
Who’s in need
Of our help
God is with us
Right now we are capable
Of doing anything
Feeling so spiritually high
That we could fly
Or the tallest buildings
Our mission always
Is to spread God’s Word
All around the world
Our rewards are heavenly
Though we aren’t looking for them
The benefits are infinite
And they come straight
From our King in Heaven
Good Friday 2016
I don’t preach or teach. My desire is to inspire. I do not push my beliefs but I will not hide them. I love Christ!
Today Will Be Wonderful
Regardless of the weather rainy or sunny it’s always a wonderful and beautiful day. A chance to have a new addition to our life’s journal. Life can be so awesome all we have to do is allow it.