I have been trying to come up with
The right words to say to you
I don’t want to scare you away
But at the same time I fear
If I wait too long
You will be gone
Like the way a flower
Is admired for it’s beauty
Human beings can also recognize
Someone as astonishing as you
In today’s society
People are made to feel like
It’s wrong to speak about
What is in their hearts
Well I will say how I feel
You are attentive
You are God fearing
You are a strong believer
You are courageous
Because even though you have
Been hurt you are not
Afraid to love again
You are amazing to me
You have a big heart
Few meaningful words can describe you
Not even Hallmark
Would know where to start
You are not ordinary
Which is why you are
So very special to me
Life is short
And more often then not
We allow windows of opportunities to close
Nothing good hangs around forever
That is why we must cease the moment
I just want you to know
That somewhere in this big world
Whether it’s a cloudy sky
A blue sky
Or a starry sky
I am thinking of you
And praying for you too
I want to be the highlight
Of your day
To be the one who puts
A big smile on your face
To be the one who fills the void
In a empty space
That can never be replaced
I want to make lasting memories with you
I want to be your dream come true
You deserve the best
All I want to do is show you
Let’s love one another without fear
Dream
No Dream
Late last night, as I struggled to decide if I could write a poem…an anything, I decided to fold down the sun umbrella on the back porch. It had been an 80 degree day and the night sky was clear. Somehow, we went from having the worst winter in Seattle on the history books (4 […]
The Letter
My life keeps getting more and more interesting every minute. I’m a massive fan of the movie Immortal Beloved it’s about the life of Beethoven. There are so many parts of the film I love the actor Gary Oldman did a fantastic job. Gary Oldman brought the movie to life he’s a brilliant actor underrated for sure. This movie came out in 1994, perhaps my top favorite thing besides the music was a letter that Beethoven wrote to the woman that he truly loved. Ahhhhh yes I love the words “ever thine ever mine ours” words from a great man ever. I know what you are thinking what is Tameeka talking about now? I’ll be getting to that in a minute. My ex and I are like opposites it’s the truth. I don’t hate him; I look back at what we had as a life lesson. It is what it is. The posts that I write are to encourage and inspire somebody. I believe that there is someone somewhere who’s going through what I am going through. Anyway back on topic.
It’s incredible when you are trying to move on things from the past fall out of nowhere. I found a letter written by my ex from five years ago. That’s right five years ago. I think the purpose of the letter could be for closure. It wasn’t about the letter being from him it was about what was in it. He wrote me many different letters it’s weird that this one suddenly appears. Out of all the letters written why this one I have moved from one address to another and this letter pops up. The letter had several different questions, so I assume that perhaps these are unanswered questions that he may have. I will answer the questions in this post it’s not like he’ll ever read it anyway it’s all about healing. Healing is a great thing.
When my ex ask questions he always wants it done with a “simple yes or no” well things aren’t always that easy. The paragraph starts with,”Let me ask you these questions because it seems that I am not getting a straight answer from you just answer these questions with a yes or no let’s keep it simple.” Do you still want to be with me? Do you even miss me? Do you love me? Why don’t you ever say that you love me? Do you regret being with me? When my ex got locked up, it made me very angry. I wanted an intact family, and it got destroyed, so I was mad for a long time. When he went away to prison in 2007, I called about the status, and when the lady told me 240 months, I was devastated. My world came crashing down life that I knew had changed. I’m no different from other mothers I wanted the house with the white picketed fence things were ruined in a blink of an eye. At the time I did miss him, it wasn’t about the financial help our sons were growing up without him. He missed out on a massive chunk of our children’s lives so many memories he will never have. Did I love him ever yes I did? I will always have some love for him. Real women are in touch with their feelings, and they keep it 100. It’s amazing how people can’t see how a person loved them. I showed it and told him that too. I never regretted being with my ex; it took him to make our two sons. Our sons are like a replica of us; it’s quite astonishing. I never regretted him, and I never will.
I believe that closure can only happen when things are faced, or we will continue to think about things and reliving situations that have been long over. Being stuck in the past only robs the present, which is a gift. I can’t change what happened, but I have forgiven my ex as well as let go of lots of anger. My ex needs to let go of his anger too because there’s no sense in it. I pray for my ex’s salvation because he doesn’t believe in Christ. I pray that God powerfully touches his heart. For him to have a blessed a life, he has to let go of the anger and the hate it will only poison all of his relationships, including the ones with our children. Taking the same old bricks into a new relationship will only destroy it and I don’t want our children to ever blame themselves. Father God touch my ex’s heart so it will soften and he let’s You in so that You can give him a new start. Lord You know that I mean every word and it’s coming from the heart. Please handle it Father God everything is in Your Hands. I thank You in advance. Amen.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things passed away; all things are become new.
Dare To Dream
Don’t need a huge vocabulary
Many words have the same meaning
There’s no need to get all fancy
Just want to say that it’s
Okay to dream
As much as you want
God will make it happen
That’s what I was taught
Forget about what negative
People think
Make believe
Are the words of
The people who don’t
Want to see
It’s okay
Dare to dream
It may not happen
Over night
It may not
Happen at all
But at least
You know that
You tried right
Sometimes we start
In one direction
And wind up
On the opposite side
It may take that
For what is
Destined to be
Never be afraid
To Dream
It can become
A reality
But you have
To want it
So begin
Allow nothing to stop you
Dreaming Of You
My dreams are like a
Beautiful getaway to Spain
I day dream of being swept away
On the wings of a beautiful dove
You are the only one
Whom I want to dream of
I dream just so
I can see your face
Don’t have to count sheep
All I have to do is close
My eyes and I drift off
To sleep very quickly
Your face is tattooed in my mind
So you are not hard to visualize
When I close my brown eyes
I will be dreaming of you tonight
In this dream I will be
Holding you close
Like a bear hug
Never wanting to let you go
You are in my heart
Whether I am dreaming
Or wide awake
Every dream that I have
Of you the settings
Are always in a different place
A beach, a park, Paris
In my dreams we talk
We are happy and smiling
Then for some reason
I begin to worry
Probably because I sense
That I soon will be awake
Then you whisper to me
That it’s okay
That you won’t be away
For too long
Night time will come quickly
Then I will be back to sleep
So I dream
And we can meet