The Pain of Divorce

I absolutely cannot stress this enough divorce is a humongous deal. In the past  I have opened up about my separation and divorce. Divorce is ugly period it’s never good because it affects so many people especially the children. What  I can’t stand about certain situations like divorce people want to be private so they suffer in silence. Recently I saw a heartbreaking post on Facebook about a woman who was going through a divorce. She would post about the pain of her divorce apparently it wasn’t received well amongst some of her Facebook friends. To make a long story short she had no one to turn to and so she took her life. I feel so sorry for her children this will make it even harder for them.

At times I get so sick of this horrible world with the heartless people in it. I know that there’s a God and  I know that He’s sitting on His throne. God will correct the wrongs and heal the hurting hearts. I know that none of us are God but if you come across a hurting person be kind always. The best thing that we all can do once we have done everything that we can is pray.

Father God In Heaven,

My prayer to You is to please guide people to marry the right people. Once You bring two people together have it so that they understand the vows that You made. Have it rooted in the married couples that at times better could become worse, that sickness may come, that they can have it all one day and lose it all the next. Father God help them to stay strong in You. Have a married couple understand that tough times don’t last but tough people do. Father God on the days when one of them become unlovable have their love for You to be more stronger so that it will keep their marriage together. Have a married couple to take their eyes off of the world and fixed on You. This wicked world at times has no concept of the beauty of marriage Father God only You can keep a marriage strong. I pray also for the couples who are separated may their marriage be restored and that they come back together stronger than ever. Father God I know that You hate divorce however if it comes to that please forgive those who have divorced. Have every marriage experience many years of happiness and their children too. Most of all thank You Father God for all that You do and what You are about to do. In Jesus Precious Name

Amen

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Happy Veterans Day

Thank  you for choosing to serve

For our country

It’s something that  I

Do not take lightly

Because of your choice

Freedom continues to ring

That means everything

You are a blessing

Coast Guard

Marine Corps

Air Force

Army

Navy

Different branches of the same tree

Our awesome military

You choose to serve knowing

What was at stake

Did not hesitate

You are the reason why

America is great

What you did goes beyond

Being recognized for one day

You made sacrifices everyday

Next to your life

Your family

Who loves you

They made sacrifices

Being away for many months and years

Far way

Relying on phone calls and letters

To help make the situation better

For all of those reasons alone

I just want to thank

Each and every one of you

veterans-day-word-cloud

The Letter

My life keeps getting more and more interesting by each and every minute. I’m a huge fan of the movie Immortal Beloved it’s based on the life of Beethoven. There are so many parts of the movie I love the actor Gary Oldman did a fantastic job. Gary Oldman brought the movie to life he’s a brilliant actor underrated for sure. This movie came out in 1994 perhaps my top favorite thing besides the music was a letter that Beethoven wrote to the woman that he truly loved. Ahhhhh yes I love the words “ever thine ever mine ever ours”  words from a great man. I know what you are thinking what is Tameeka talking about now? I’ll be getting to that in a minute. My ex and I are like polar opposites it’s the truth. I don’t hate him I just look back at what we had as a life lesson. It is what it is. The posts that I write are to encourage and inspire somebody. I believe that there is someone somewhere who’s going through what I am going through. Anyway back on topic.

It’s amazing when you are trying to move on things from the past fall out of nowhere. I found a letter written by my soon to be ex husband from five years ago. That’s right five years ago. I think the purpose of the letter is for closure. It wasn’t about the letter being from him it was about what was in it. He wrote me many different letters it’s weird that this one suddenly appears. Out of all the letters written why this one I have moved from one address to another and this letter pops up. The letter had several different questions so I assume that perhaps these are unanswered questions that he may have. I will answer the questions in this post it’s not like he’ll ever read it anyway it’s all about closure. Closure is definitely a great thing.

When my ex ask questions he always wants it done with a “simple yes or no” well things aren’t always that easy.  The paragraph starts with,”Let me ask you these questions because it seems that I am not getting a straight answer from you just answer these questions with a yes or no let’s keep it simple”. Do you still want to be with me? Do you even miss me? Do you love me? Why you ain’t never  say that you love me? Do you regret being with me? When my ex got locked up it made me very angry. I wanted an intact family and it got destroyed so I was angry for a long time. When he was sentenced in 2007 I called about the status and when the lady told me 240 months I was devastated. My world came crashing down life that I knew had changed. I’m no different from other mothers I wanted the house with the white picketed fence things were ruined in a blink of an eye. At the time I did miss him it wasn’t about the financial help our sons were growing up without him. He missed out on a huge chunk of our children’s lives so many memories he will never have. Did I love him ever yes I did. It’s amazing how people can’t see how a person loved them. I showed it and told him that too. I never regretted being with my ex it took him to make our two sons. Our sons are like an exact replica of us it’s quite astonishing. I never regretted him and I never will.

I believe that closure can only happen when things are faced or we will continue to think about things and reliving things that have been long over. Being stuck in the past only robs the present which is a gift. I can’t change what happened but I have forgiven my ex as well let go of lots of anger. My ex needs to let go of his anger as well because there’s no sense in it. I pray for my ex’s salvation because he doesn’t believe in Christ. I pray that God touches his heart in a mighty way that the next marriage he has is a blessed one. In order for him to have a blessed union he has to let go of the anger and the hate it will only poison all of his relationships including the ones with our children. Taking the same old bricks into a new relationship will only destroy it and I don’t want our children to ever blame themselves. Father God touch my ex’s heart so it will soften and he let’s You in so that You can give him a new start. Lord You know that I mean every word and it’s coming from the heart. Please handle it Father God everything is in Your Hands. I thank You in advanced. Amen.

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things passed away; all things are become new.

Bittersweet

I’ve prayed about it

I’ve allowed God to handle it

I’ve made room to forgive

It’s over

It’s finally over

Now I can

Start to experience closure

Trying to describe how

I’m feeling right now

It’s like trying to describe

The taste of water

As I have gotten older

I have realized that

Trying to reflect back on memories

It’s like physically trying to look

Over your shoulder

I’m just not that flexible

I’ve tried my very best

Yet in some cases

Ended up with less

There’s no need to cry over spilled milk

There’s absolutely no sense in it

I’m still blessed regardless

I just look at things as

Life learned lessons

Many things took place

Between you and I

You have no idea

Of how many tears

That I have cried

I really tired

Deep down inside

Apart of me feels like it wants to die

Yet there’s so much

That I would like to forget

I know that you had a purpose

After all we have two great kids

Here I go again

I have to stop this

I have to begin

The healing process

I have to do it

I have strength

It’s weird still

A small part of

This situation I can’t grasp

Am I still in love

Yeah right don’t make me laugh

The way that you act

Your middle name should be

Jackass or dumbass

Because you played a huge part

Of helping to put something that

Could have been special into the past

I won’t blame you totally

I also share responsibility

This ending is bittersweet

I came across a thought

Of you I actually smiled

And I felt a tear roll down my cheek

Yet I’m fine if we never speak

You have to leave

Something behind in order

To go forward

The hardest part of moving on

Is putting the pieces

Of your broken heart back together

And be brave enough to love again

It’s finally the end

It’s a tough pill to swallow

Tough to accept that we didn’t work out

A fresh start isn’t bad

I know that God has my back

So there’s no need to be sad

Heartbreak

Having your heart broken has to be one of the worst feelings in the world. It’s something that we have all experienced at one point in our lives. I could be wrong but I think the reason why getting your heart broken hurts so much is because love is powerful. Love can make anyone fall head over heels whether they choose to admit it or not. We find ourselves doing things that we thought we never would do and when we do those things that’s a sign of being in love. It’s not a bad thing being vulnerable and giving the one that you love your all. So what happens how does things end? Who knows it could be a number of reasons people drift apart and when that happens a downward spiral begins the lying as well as the cheating occurs. There’s so much pain that can happen it’s so devastating. Dealing with betrayal is never easy for anyone.

In my opinion if you ever loved a person at all forgive them and give them to God. I know what you are saying really Tameeka? Yes I mean what I am saying. Forgiveness is for the person who is doing the forgiving. Bitterness and anger doesn’t solve anything it only slows down the healing process. We all deserve to feel better life is just too short to hold grudges and not forgive. I know when a breakup first occurs it hurts more than anything we can imagine but we have to let it go and trust God. If a person that you once love did you wrong then trust God to make it right. Being honest doesn’t cost anything to do but if a person chooses not be forgive them anyway. God will take care of all of our hurt and pain. God doesn’t fix one area of our lives and not another. God is committed to us fully. He can repair a broken heart but we have to be willing to give him our hearts. God can do anything. Trust Him today.

Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

He Showed Me

As I have shared I am a Christian woman who is going through a divorce. Divorce is not good it affects everyone that’s involved in one way or another especially the children. Divorce is hard because when you get married the goal is for it to last forever. I’m very old fashioned so I was kicking myself the whole time about my divorce up until recently. In the beginning I did what I could to get pass the idea of divorce. Besides me feeling like the marriage was a failure what’s more important than my feelings?? God’s of course God hates divorce. Even though in the law it’s written that for certain reasons God allows divorce the way He feels about divorce is quite the opposite.

The other day I watched a video about divorce that was confirmation so now I am set free about my failed marriage. While I was devastated about things before I have since let go and let God. Believe it or not good things have come out of my failed marriage. I have grown so much and I really want to help other people prior to marriage and during too. Marriage is nothing like a relationship it’s important for people to understand the seriousness of it. Marriage is far more than a piece of paper if you get involved with a person that thinks that way then you need to find out why.

I have a lot of advice while everyone is different there are still many things that are the same when it comes to marriage. Number one always treat your spouse with respect, never disrespect them in front of others, and never speak against them to others even your parents. Number two communicate no one is born a mind reader so if something is bothering you say it. Number three once you are married forget the single minded mentality you are one money and alllll. When it comes to money always let your spouse know about all spending and lending. I know people have crisis but let your spouse know when you are helping someone. Number four always be loving to your King and Queen I know that life gets busy but always make time for your spouse this is the person whom you want to spend the rest of your life with. Number five above everything keep God first. God gives structure to our lives I don’t care what anybody says or thinks if God was in my marriage things would have been better.

I am praying for everyone who are about to get married, who are married and those who maybe experiencing problems. My prayer is that everyone turns to God for help. There is no problem that He can not solve. I don’t ever want anyone to feel as I do being thankful for a video for confirmation. If I had God as the foundation of the marriage things would have been different. I’m fine with being able to share my story as a way to help others. I pray that my post will help somebody. God bless everyone.