Love With An Open Heart

Past relationships and experiences
Dictate how we interact
In future relationships
Causing us to armour up
To put our guards up
Which still allow
Past disappointments
To continue to take
Centerstage
We then
Come up with reasons
For our actions
Dress them up
By giving them different names
Whether they are referred to
As a protective layer
Or a wall
They are used in order to
Keep us from feeling
Vulnerable
Which in actuality
Keeps us from
Something that could
Potentially be special
Love requires the giving
Of oneself
Compromise and
Vulnerability
How Else will we be
Able to recognize
True love’s credibility
Then we can enjoy stability
Be set free
From past relationships
That were ugly
It’s important
For the heart to feel love
Feeling and loving is the only way
That the heart knows
Love is grounded
It accepts the imperfections
Of the person that
We love
Working through
Bad times while
Enjoying the good
Love is honesty
It gives people
The opportunity
To be themselves completely
Love is a journey
That should always
Be allowed to continue
It’s the only way
For the one that
Is for us
To find us
Life should not
Be about only surviving
Heartbreak
From past mistakes
Or merely existing
But thriving in happiness
And enjoying life
Now that’s living

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The Raconteurs

Everyone on the planet Earth knows how much that I love Jack White. As 2018 started to come to a close I became completely bummed because Jack White’s tour was coming to an end. I was thinking about how much I would have to wear out the Boarding House Reach album in order to get my Jack White fix. Then news about The Raconteurs releasing an album happened, I got so excited. The best day ever occurred and SpongeBob Square Pants happiness had nothing on mine. Jack White is truly amazing. After about ten years the Raconteurs released two songs “Sunday Driver and Now That You’re Gone.” I love the song “Now That You’re Gone” the most, the guitar riffs on the song are remarkable. On top of everything, the Raconteurs will be touring too. Jack White is one of the hardest working musicians in the business.

A Personality Like Mine

I have to say that I am pretty proud of my personality. Some of the words that I would use to describe my personality are calm, balanced, compassionate, creative, loving etc. My personality is more conscientiousness even though I feel that it can’t be narrowed down to one label. As much as I enjoy my personality I am aware of my weaknesses or negative parts of it. However, with me knowing about the negative parts of my personality that can help me to work on what I need to.

Here is a little bit about my background this will help to get a better understanding of my personality. I am the oldest of four girls. All of my life I have had an enormous amount of responsibilities to handle it never bothered me. I am thinking because of my personality my mother felt that I was capable of handling doing every task assigned. Examples of my tasks come home from school do my homework, walk to go pick up my sisters up from school, cook dinner, and wash clothes. I have a very strong personality; yet not overbearing. I do not allow myself to be a pushover. Growing up because of the way that I was raised as well as my personality I did not give in to peer pressure. For a teenager I was very mature. At one point while growing up the teen pregnancy was high. It seemed like everywhere that I turned someone that I knew was pregnant. In my family there were relatives that were having babies early as well. My first child was born when I was in my late twenties. There is definitely a lot of peer pressure for teens sex, drugs, and drinking to name a few right to this very day. Teenagers have it really hard going through puberty and then having to try to fit in.  Some people give into peer pressure especially teenagers they are not very strong-minded. I have a best friend she is like the life of the party everywhere that she goes. The mindset that she has is” you only live once” she does whatever makes her feel good. There is nothing wrong with having a mindset like my friend’s but that is not right for me to each their own.

Social class to me is like high school mentality to me it’s all about being accepted socially by a particular group. Example a poor person cannot get in a country club unless they have a rich person that belongs to the club. The poor person can get connections through their rich friend. It’s all about the secret handshake and I want no parts of that. Peers are the same way no matter the location I don’t care if a high school is in a rich neighborhood, middle class neighborhood, or lower class neighborhood there will be certain groups that only accept a certain kind of people. It sucks royally. The groups of people that are in every high school are the popular kids, the smart kids, the sporty kids, the troublesome kids aka bullies and the odd kids no matter how much time passes it’s always the same. The social class and peers have the least influence on my personality.

I was brought up in a Christian household my life is lived according to the Bible. I live for God and not for the acceptance of man. The Bible says “that we cannot serve two masters” Human beings are fair weathered one day they like you and one day they hate you. When I take a look around at society there is no structure nothing is stable based on the mindset. People do whatever they want without regards about whether it can affect someone else. It’s like they have a sense of entitlement. My Christian values influence my personality tremendously I treat people like the way I would like to be treat. I want to be a bright light in a sometimes very negative dark world. I think about the consequences of my actions prior to me making a move. The personality factors that apply to me the most are family, culture, and genetic determinants. I have explained how family and culture influences my personality. I also believe that genes are a factor as well I get a lot from my mother she and I was always very close. The relationship between my mother and I was so great because our personalities were a lot a like. My mother and I looked very much alike as well.

One personality factor aspect that doesn’t explain my personality fully is environmental determinants. The personality that I have is not affect by the environment around me. I can be in a negative environment and will remain positive as well as upbeat. My belief is if the environment affects people in a negative way then change it. I cannot think of a time when the environment made my personality change especially not in a negative way.

I want to gain a better understanding of my personality because I want to be the best me that I can possibly be. Right now I am taking forensic psychology but I would like to receive a master’s degree in counseling. My calling is to prepare couples for marriage and counseling during marriage. The counseling that I am going to do will be Christian based of course however even with that being said a certain type of personality is required. In my opinion there is a lot about my personality that helps me to be prepared for my career. A counselor has to be tolerant, supportive, empathetic, patient, and intuitive to name a few things

Love Yourself

Just wanted to make it clear that self-love and being a lover of self isn’t the same. Self-love is positive it’s feeling good about yourself basically self acceptance. Lover of self is negative it’s having a self-centered attitude, being vain, and narcissistic.

All human eyes have the structure of the pupil, cornea, and iris etc. However, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We are all attractive to some people and we are all not so attractive to others. Don’t ever take it personal and definitely don’t allow anyone to come for your self-esteem. It is what it is. In my opinion it’s just a way that helps to eliminate the wrong people from out of our lives. Which is one of the biggest reasons why we shouldn’t put the power of boosting our self-esteem into the hands of others it could definitely become abused easily. Besides our worth isn’t based off the validation of others.

It’s important to be our best selves above anything else. For most of us there is only one of us unless we have a twin which is rare. We should take care of ourselves by eating right and exercising. Making sure that we are getting the proper sleep. Learning to not stress behind things that cannot be controlled one way or another things always work out. Words are powerful it’s so important to speak positivity into your life. Be a positive person so that you become someone who is quick to uplift others. Make improvements daily. Travel. Do something that you haven’t done before. If you have been attracting the wrong people or making the wrong choices figure out why by digging deep into yourself. Make it a point to break the monotony of reliving the same situations over and over again. Make decisions that will have the repercussions of reaping a blessed harvest. Never forget that many of our choices affect our future and sometimes our children’s future as well.

Remember people who attempt to tug at your self-esteem and self confidence are not to be entertained. It’s great to be opened to constructive criticism just beware of serial critics. A person who truly cares will bring out the best in you not the worse. Best friends aren’t jealous. True sisterhood doesn’t dox or drain one another’s souls. We will know people by their fruits. Actions speaks louder than words.

I have experienced a lot in my life and the advice that I give comes from a place of growth not from bitterness. I have healed and I want to help others to get healed as well. Being a realtist doesn’t necessarily makes a person negative it’s not what’s said but how and why. Honesty isn’t always going to come in a present that is wrapped in a pretty bow especially when it comes to looking at ourselves. Even though we can sometimes be our worst critics it’s a sign of growth to be able to evaluate ourselves. We know ourselves the best and obviously we have our best interest in mind after all it’s our lives. In order to become our best selves we most realize when we are not. Being honest with ourselves is the best sign of loving ourselves without having to rely on others opinions.

Example of loving yourself is being mindful of who we accept advice from and being opened to receive it. Example there are some people who believe that only happily married people are the only ones who can give great advice about marriage and that is the furthest thing from the truth. A person from a failed marriage can talk about where things went wrong. Happily married people also went through things too but they chose to stick it out for various reasons. Different situations happens to different people all advice can’t be applied. Everyone isn’t right and everyone isn’t wrong. I have learned that great advice can come from anyone don’t reject it based on who it’s coming from when you can tell that they mean well. When people don’t mean well you’ll be able to tell because you can feel their negative vibes. Negative energy is unmistakable and life is too short for that. So make it point to keep your space a negative opinion free zone and get your shine on.

Imagine what could happen once we tap into ourselves and discover our hidden potential to be great it can only happen once we accept and love ourselves.
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The In-Crowd

I absolutely have no desire
To be apart of
The in crowd
Confident people do not
Give a fudge
When they say that
You can’t sit with us
Oh boo hoo
Jocks, cool kids, mean girls
We all know about these groups they
Ruled the yearbook
Yet these kids
Are all a part of the
Adolescent clique
In some
Kind of capacity these
Group of kids become bullies
Precursors of adults
Who still possess
Middle and high school mentalities
Constantly reminiscing about
Their former popularity
In which I am immune to
I never was one whose desire was
To be a popular kid in school
It’s like being in a
Zombie apocalypse
Surrounded around a bunch
Of brain dead people
Who are unable to think
For themselves
Who relies heavily on
Group thinking,
Group dependency,
And group acceptancy
It’s not welcome to
To do anything differently
Or people will experience
Tribal shaming
It’s like a sorority for
Pettiness that doesn’t exist
At any university or college
The scariest thing about it is
They think that
They are individualistic
When they are actually
Apart of the collective
How sad is that
I love me some me
Because I have always felt free
Embracing what makes me unique
Secure in my individuality
And that is amazing
Some people spend most
Of their lives
Trying to figure out
Who they are
But most of it is due
To them giving into peer pressure
When they were very young
And fear of their insecurities
Afraid to be themselves
Afraid to be rejected
Afraid of not being able to
Be apart of the secret group
To be apart of the in crowd
Or maybe it’s a cult
Which is a serious problem
Sometimes wanting to be accepted
By a certain kind of people
So badly
Will cost you something
Like losing your identity
Becoming a carbon copy
Or a string of cut out dolls
Until something goes wrong
Then the in crowd will turn
Into an angry mob
Eventually betraying
You with a Judas kiss
On the outside you will sit
People like this don’t
Stand for anything
Which is why they always
Turn on one another
I have witnessed
This kind of behavior
For years
If this is what it’s
Like being apart of the in crowd
Then I am so glad
That I have never been apart of it

The Dirt

The other day I wrote about my top ten ballad songs. I chose Motley Crue’s song Without You as one of my favorite rock ballads.

The 80s was when glam rock bands were at their peak. Glam rock bands like Poison, Cinderella, Bon Jovi, Warrant, Motley Crue etc ruled MTV. MTV had the best videos back in the day now it’s just straight trash. My bedroom wall was plastered with all of their posters. I loved buying magazines like Hit Parader with the pull out posters. Those were the days.
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Girls, Girls, Girls, Kickstart My Heart, Home Sweet Home, Smokin in the Boys Room etc. Yes!!! Ya girl loves her some Motley Crue.

I am super stoked a movie is coming out that’s about Motley Crue. My favorite member of the band is Tommy Lee so Machine Gun Kelly had better do him justice. March 22nd!!! Save the date that’s when the movie The Dirt will premiere on Netflix. I will be watching Netflix and chilling.

We Were Madly, Madly in Love’: The Untold Story of MLK’s White Girlfriend By PATRICK PARR 04/01/2018 07:05 AM

This is not my article!!! I found it to be very fascinating so I decided to share it!!! Happy Reading!!!

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It took me a long time to find Betty Moitz.

I had first learned her full name while reading Bearing the Cross, the 1986 biography about Martin Luther King Jr., written by David Garrow. In the book, Garrow briefly describes a serious relationship between King and a young white woman around the same age, named Betty. They had met at Crozer Theological Seminary, in Chester, Pennsylvania, at the time, where King was a divinity student from the age of 19 until 22, when he graduated in May 1951. In Bearing the Cross, Garrow quoted a close friend and mentor of King’s at the time, Rev. Pius J. Barbour, who said the relationship had left King as a “man with a broken heart. He never recovered.”

In a way, I never recovered from that quote. As I wrote my own book about King, I wasn’t satisfied with such a short description of such an apparently devastating relationship. Garrow was the first biographer to discover Betty’s last name, and, fortunately for me, buried it in a heavyweight endnote at the back of the book. That endnote took me on two cross-country flights, spurred dozens of calls to wrong numbers and knocks on countless doors of people I thought might have known Betty. They didn’t, but I left my business card anyway, and eventually, one of those people found someone who might know Betty, and that person sent me an address, to which I sent a letter. It worked.

From the start, Moitz and King’s relationship was anything but carefree. Almost all of King’s friends, including Barbour, tried to discourage him from staying with Betty, knowing what an interracial relationship would mean for his future. “I thought it was a dangerous situation that could get out of hand, and if it did get out of hand it would smear King,” his Crozer classmate Cyril Pyle recalled in a 1986 interview. “It would make his future hard for him.”

But Betty recalls that time, and the young King, with fondness anyway. In our yearlong correspondence and one long meeting in January 2016, Betty, who recently passed away at the age of 89, told me the story of their relationship and just how close King came to walking away from his future plans for her. “We were madly, madly in love, the way young people can fall in love,” she told me during our conversation at her home.

She started at the beginning.

From a young age, Betty Moitz had a family connection to Crozer, where ML—as King was known at the time—was pursuing his studies before returning to his native Atlanta to follow in his father’s footsteps as a preacher at Ebenezer Baptist Church. Moitz’s grandmother Elizabeth became the school’s dietitian in 1933. When she retired, Betty’s mother, Hannah Moitz, took over the position, and she kept it throughout ML’s years there. The family lived in a five-bedroom, three-bathroom home on the Crozer campus, and Betty graduated with honors from Eddystone High School, located only two miles away. Betty spent many days in her youth walking over to the kitchen to check on her mother, lend an extra hand or just hang around and chat.

Despite the constant exposure to their world, Betty had no intention of becoming a divinity student. She graduated from high school in 1946 and went directly to Moore College of Art, right across the river from the University of Pennsylvania. She was still a student at Moore in late 1948 when she paid one of her regular visits to her mother in the basement of Old Main, the main building on Crozer’s campus. This day was different, because Betty met someone new: a well-dressed, ambitious young man from Atlanta, Georgia, who was in his first year at the seminary and lived on the second floor of Old Main. He had a smooth voice and a sly smile.

At first, she and ML were just making small talk in Miss Hannah’s kitchen, nothing that would cause nearby students to turn their heads. But it continued. As they spoke on and off over the next few months, Betty learned about ML’s background and his tremendous hopes for the future. “Crozer was known as a very radical religious institution,” she told me, “so I was surprised to hear from ML himself [that he] had more conservative beliefs.”

ML’s own feelings for Betty were something he tried to keep secret. Though he’d even written to his mother about his other recent dating prospects, he would not have been at all eager to inform her that he was interested in a young white woman. Walter McCall, ML’s best friend and hall mate, who went by Mac, knew, of course, but he saw no harm in helping his best friend separate himself even further from racial norms they both believed were outdated. And though a few other students took note of ML and Betty’s friendly dialogue—it was, after all, a small world inside Old Main—no one seemed too bothered.

Fellow Crozer seminarian and King friend Marcus Wood in particular understood some of what spurred ML’s attraction. “I supposed he thought that, here I am out of the South now, and not back home,” Wood said in a 1986 interview, “out in the open, nothing illegal, a free place, sure I can go over and talk to this white girl.”

Throughout the course of ML’s first year at Crozer, his relationship with Betty continued to develop as their chats moved out of Miss Hannah’s basement kitchen. Soon, ML was also making the straight five-minute walk from Old Main to visit her at the Moitz home. “He used to go over their house quite often to see her,” Wood wrote in his 1998 memoir.

ML felt at ease with Betty. It was the enthusiasm with which he spoke on a wide range of topics that first attracted her. “He would talk, and talk and talk,” Betty says. At first they discussed his time in the South and how different it was from the idealized culture within the seminary. He didn’t yet know how but, according to Betty, “one thing ML knew at age 19 was that he could change the world.”

When ML returned to school the following fall of 1949, his and Betty’s relationship continued to blossom—but this was also when the difficulties began for the young couple.

By this point, they had become more comfortable on campus, sitting on benches and talking about their plans and goals for the future in full view of ML’s classmates and teachers. When asked if she had concerns about how they might be seen, Betty shrugs. “I never noticed. I always had a tan and dark brown hair.” But the 20-year-old ML was more aware of the potential social fallout.

It’s important to note that in 1949, interracial relationships were still very much taboo in the United States. Fewer than 40 miles from Crozer was the state of Maryland, where the first law against interracial marriage was enacted in 1664; the state would keep similar laws on its books for more than 300 years. Even in 1958, a Gallup poll would report that an astounding 94 percent of white Americans disapproved of interracial marriage.

Pennsylvania was one of the most flexible states when it came to “miscegenation” laws. Still, that didn’t mean ML and Betty could head over to a local café and hold hands out in the open. Members of the Crozer community, despite their liberalism, would have had trouble throwing their support behind such an arrangement. They weren’t against it, but they weren’t exactly for it, either. Glares, scoffs and head shakes were inevitable. Cyril Pyle, ML’s classmate from Panama who worried about the relationship “smearing” King, worked in the kitchen and dining hall and witnessed ML and Betty getting closer. “I knew about it, thought it was bad, but I didn’t want to get involved.”

Soon, their “dates” mainly consisted of Betty driving ML around the city of Chester, ignoring the scowls of society. “I listened,” Betty says, “and he’d just talk and talk.” But she loved it—his enthusiasm, his anxious hopes “to return South and help people. He was wonderful—a joy to be with and listen to.”

When ML’s sister Christine came to visit him at Crozer, as she did regularly, his friendship with Betty crept back into the shadows. It wasn’t that ML didn’t trust Christine—their relationship had always been strong—it was the fact that Christine was a direct conduit to their mother, and that was something ML could not risk. Telling his sister about Betty would have meant putting her in the unenviable position of withholding important information from her mother in every letter and phone call home. And if Christine were to let slip that ML had been getting closer to a white woman, ML could only imagine the disappointment in his mother’s eyes. Betty knew about these concerns: “He was worried what she’d think,” she recalls.

Over the course of ML’s second year, his relationship with Betty grew closer—and more public. From chats in Miss Hannah’s kitchen and around campus, the couple had progressed to hanging out with Mac, ML’s friend Horace Whitaker, known as Whit, and others in the recreation room down the hall from the kitchen. Betty would watch as ML and his friends played pool. “The men who worked in the kitchen and dining room used to go down to shoot pool or play table tennis every evening after dinner,” she remembers. “I was surprised how well [ML] played.”

And their private time together was no longer limited to Betty driving ML around Chester. “We did go out on dates,” Betty says. “He was always trying to get me to go with him to restaurants in Chester. I was embarrassed to let him know I had never been to any of those places. In those days, who went to restaurants?”

ML would have known that dining at a predominantly white restaurant was a risky proposition, not only for himself but for Betty as well, but their relationship was a way for him to test the limits of northern culture. Such boundary-pushing becomes easier when one starts to fall in love, and according to Betty, that’s exactly what was happening.

Many of ML’s classmates could see how enamored he’d become. “King was extremely fond of her,” Marcus Wood recalls. “But he was also rather proud of the fact that he was able to socialize openly with a white girl.”

“There were people who knew about them,” Whit said—himself among them—but “they didn’t flagrantly show their feelings toward each other.”

ML could only trust one friend with his feelings toward Betty, and that was Mac. Around this time, ML and Betty went into Philadelphia with Mac and his girlfriend at the time, policewoman Pearl E. Smith. The four headed back to Pearl’s home, and there was a moment when Betty and Pearl were speaking to each other in the kitchen. “They didn’t tell her anything about me,” Betty says.

Pearl, who was black, measured Betty up. It was true, Betty was tan, and Pearl gave her a nod of approval: “You know, you could pass.” Mac overheard what Pearl said and, according to Betty, “rolled on the floor, laughing.“

ML’s friends sensed how serious he was getting about Betty Moitz, and all of them, except for Mac, worried about how this would affect his future plans. According to Marcus Wood, “The more we warned [ML] that marriage was out of the question—especially if he hoped to become a pastor in the south—the more he refused to ‘break off’ the potentially controversial relationship.”

ML’s counterargument had two components. The first, of course, was the obvious one: He loved Betty. She listened to him, supported him and greatly admired his ambitions. He could see himself marrying her. The second was a symbolic component: Wouldn’t their union also be a powerful statement that barriers can be brought down? It could serve as living proof of his belief in the idea of social integration. Late one night, after making out with Betty on a bench near Old Main, a smitten ML headed over to Horace Whitaker’s apartment. Whit, while in the same graduating class, was a decade older than ML and was already married, with one child. ML needed guidance, and though he trusted Mac, it was time to turn to an older and more settled friend.

“They were very serious,” Whit remembered, “although he was young.” Whit felt a certain sense of dread in telling ML to deny his feelings toward Betty: “I’m not saying he wasn’t mature enough for that kind of experience, but I remember talking to him about that kind of marital situation … and we had talked about it from the standpoint that if he intended going back to the South and pastoring at a local church, that that might not be an acceptable kind of relationship in a black Baptist church, and I think he would be valuing that in light of whether or not it was a workable situation, knowing his own particular sense of call.”

Eight years later, King himself would say in a sermon that “there is more integration in the entertaining world, in sports arenas, than there is in the Christian church.” That was the reality Whit was urging his friend to consider. Would ML’s predominantly black congregation fully accept it if their preacher had a white wife? Was Betty prepared to handle life as the spouse of a black southern minister? Or was ML willing to give up on returning to the South? Could he be content to remain in the North and obtain a position in academia, contributing to the southern cause in some other way?

The only time King ever made a reference to Betty in public comes from a 1964 MLK biography by Lerone Bennett, titled What Matter of Man. In it, Bennett masks the quote with a tricky set of pronouns, so the source of it is unclear. King, then a married father, is quoted as saying: “She liked me and I found myself liking her. But finally I had to tell her resolutely that my plans for the future did not include marriage to a white woman.”

While we already knew the decision King ultimately reached about Betty, we didn’t know how he struggled with it throughout his time at Crozer. He was clearly old enough and mature enough to know even at the time that his decision on Betty would change the course of his life. And perhaps he even had a small idea of what his life would mean for the course of history.