Advice

Sexual Abuse in The Church

Bishop Eddie Long passed away today and there are mixed feelings about it. Let me start off by saying  I don’t care about the denomination sexual abuse is wrong. Sexual abuse is deep beneath the skin it’s a sin issue. The church is a place where everyone is suppose to feel and be safe. Bishop Eddie Long molested young boys in his church. I pray that he got right with God and repented. The problem with the church is the wrong people are leading and people are following blindly.

We have to understand that no one is exempt from falling in our faith so we must remain humble always. We have to stay on fire with God it requires us to stay connected with those who are burning. I want people to let me know if  I am doing wrong  I want to be right for God. Back on topic there is a lot of perversion going on in the church but no one wants to discuss it. When Eddie Long victims spoke about the abuse they were treated like suspects. I watched his victims do an interview they were so broken. Sexual abuse causes a whole lot of damage not just to the ones who are abused. I feel sorry and prays for Eddie Long’s family. We must speak up about abuse it’s time to quit being silent.

Many people don’t speak up out of fear of being attacked. The words that  I speak aren’t mine they are from the Bible. I am not judging Eddie Long only God can do that. Our children are innocent we must protect them it’s our duty.

Luke 9:23 – And he said to [them] all, If any [man] will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me

Culture Awareness

Recently I finished a course in Intercultural Competence and it taught me a lot of new things when it comes to interacting with different cultures. In order to become aware of other cultures it helps to become aware of your own. I have learned that once we understand others cultures; we can then appreciate them, establish a relationship and build an alliance. To build a strong community it takes a large number of people to make it work. Each culture is unique and has perspectives and strengths that any community can benefit from. Having an understanding of every culture can help us to overcome as well as avoid ethnic and racial divisions. A community can win when people don’t struggle with the vision of what a fair, moral and harmonious society is. There are many cultures and of course many of us would like to know about them all a good way to start is finding out about who lives in our community, the kind of diversity that already exists, the struggles that exist between the cultures, the struggles that are openly recognized and the kinds of issues that the different cultures have in common.

When it comes to having a community that is united there certain steps that should be taken and there are things that should not be done as well. Let’s use the African-American culture as an example there has been a lot of bad things that have taken place. There is still a lot of hurt that has turned into anger which is present in America to this very day. Even though I am an African-American one thing is true making people feel guilty for what their ancestors have done hundreds of years ago will not help diversity to become effective. People tend to change when they don’t feel condemned or guilt tripped. One day I saw a post from a Facebook friend she actually apologized for what her ancestors had done hundreds of years ago and I commented telling her that it was unnecessary. It may come as a shock to many but I get called names a lot like sellout and even accused of not being true to my culture. I have gotten slammed on several occasions all because of my views. My Christian beliefs help to keep me hopeful no matter how a situation looks like. In my opinion when it comes to bring cultures together everyone must be included, a solution of what can be done to solve the issues with hope of getting it done together is a huge step into the right direction. Having a strong community can only happen by  people working together from every culture this will help to build a strong relationship that has a core.

As I have written in the beginning getting to know one’s own culture and other cultures builds bridges that can connect people in addition recognizing the differences is important too. Many times people don’t want to recognize cultures differences out of fear that it may cause division however it’s actually on the contrary. Learning about other cultures can actually bring people closer together. When people are aware of other cultures they learn how to interact without negativity happening. A mind closed mind is not open to knowledge and so ignorance grows. It’s important that we all keep in mind that regardless of our cultures being different we all have feelings,we are human beings and we are all God’s Children.

Galatians 3:26

For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.

It’s Up To Us

I’m not pointing fingers

But we must admit

That the black community is damaged

No one wants to talk about it

No one wants to face

What is happening

No one wants to get serious

About their life choices

The ones that actually has

Major consequences

That unfortunately once done

We can’t change or fix

People want to program their minds

To see their lives

As a happily ever after

A fairy tale

But no one wants to discuss

How certain choices can bring

Us back to reality have us

Sounding like a nursery rhyme

Old woman in the shoe

Had so many children

That she didn’t know what to do

Messing with the wrong men

Will have your life like a soap opera

All my children

And you are Not Erica

Having multiple babies out of wedlock

Losing value on the dating market

As if the arrow is pointing downward

On Down Jones

Ladies don’t waste unnecessary time

Ask the man who you feel

Maybe your potential mate

What are his goals and dreams

If he wants to get married

He will tell you

Don’t let having multiple children

And him not marrying  you

To be a life lesson

It won’t be only you who will suffer

The children will too

Don’t be a fool

Don’t continue to hold on

Respect his decision

Move on life is short

Even though every single black mother’s

Situations are unique

Even though all single black mothers

Are not irresponsible

It doesn’t matter to

The people of the world

It’s time to wake up

Poverty, despair, and hopelessness

Are parts of nightmares

And should not be identified as

Being apart of African American culture

We have got to do better

We have to not feed into the negative

Stereotypes and generalizations

That some of us choose to embrace

It’s a big mistake

It’s up to us what we choose

What we answer to or who we allow

Ourselves to get attached to

Allowing negativity to turn inward

Single black mothers are not used goods

Not all of us are from the hood

Not all of us are ghetto

Those are words of the devil

We know that he is the biggest liar

Of them all

One of the greatest titles

That a woman can possess

Is being called mother

The greatest words that a parent

Can hear is their children

Tell them that they love you

We want our children to have

A better life than what we had

That requires having a stable home

Which consist of a mom and a dad

A happy homes goes beyond a fad

It never goes out of style

We don’t want to be responsible

For our children walking around

With a hole in their hearts

Remember they are suppose

To experience love first

From ma and pops

It’s time to break the curse

It’s time to stop making excuses

Because they are useless

The Black community

Needs to get it together

The broken home situation

Is very urgent

Spiritual Maturity

I will not and do not pretend that  I have it all together; however, I will say that I am a woman who has learned from her mistakes. One of the biggest mistakes that  I have done in the past is allowing my emotions to control me. Too many times we live off of our feelings when we live from off of our feelings, we don’t make wise choices. Spiritual maturity is knowing how to manage our emotions and not allowing them to control us. It’s good to have feelings they help us to be able to relate to others we can empathize and have compassion, but we can’t allow our feelings to lead us the wrong way. There can be no spiritual growth as long as we follow our feelings; we have to know what feels wrong but choose to do what is right.

The enemy mission is to kill, steal, and destroy the one thing he wants the most is to kill our faith; he tries to do this during times of trouble. How we respond to the enemy attacks is to not act like him but act like Christ. I speak about marriage a whole lot; it’s a covenant that was created by God; marriage is one of the best examples of commitment. Marriage is a beautiful thing, especially when it has God as the foundation. So many marriages end in divorce because people go into it with unrealistic ideas of what marriage is. A word of advice if you are standing in front of the pastor exchanging vows with the thought of if this doesn’t work then. Do Not Get Married!!! Divorce should not be an option if a marriage encounters problems. Unions have problems sometimes  I don’t care how great it is at times. The vows have for better or worse, let’s focused on both words because they are both critical. When people first get married, everything is new, but after a while, it will wear off commitment is suppose to step in, it takes a marriage to a deeper level which is more substantial.

I want a husband that is committed to me once the excitement and newness wear off. I want a husband who loves Christ more than I do, is loyal, faithful, sincere, a leader, and is more stringent than the toughest times that we encounter. Commitment is strength and not giving up just because things don’t feel right anymore. An excellent marriage strength is in its commitment and not just feelings alone; it’s a sign of real victory!! Remember a marriage will lose its newness like a brand new car but you will still keep the car, right? Total commitment is staying committed to the very end.

I’ve come along way, and  I have been through a lot, but I thank God for all of it. Every day I commit to putting on love, kindness, and patience regardless of the situation or how I feel. People have disappointed me, betrayed me, let me down, and hurt me even after  I have been helpful to them. I feel sorry for people who are always angry; it’s a sign that they are operating off of emotions alone, and that is never good. Regardless of how people treat me, I am still going to do things on purpose like loving those who have hurt me and pray for them. Hurt people hurt others healed people heal others; I am whole!! I am always counting the cost of every move that  I make, and I am walking in love too. Thankful so much for becoming strong spiritually off of the Word of God.

Colossians 3:14

And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.

Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

Recently I watched a video and the guy was saying that nice guys always finishes last that mean guys get the beautiful girls. Immediately it got me to thinking about last according to whom? Who’s race was he watching? We all have hopes, dreams and wants I get it. But we cannot get caught up in man’s race. If we look at others as competition and try to keep up with what they are doing then of course you will come in last. When we try to race in someone’s else race we will always finish last in someone else’s race; it’s not our race.

I don’t know about man’s race but  I know that God keeps His promises every last one of them. God does not lie because He can’t lie!!! God’s timing is perfect. It’s okay to glance at other people’s blessings as an inspiration only not as a competition. Everything that God does is incredible especially His blessings. If we stare at other people’s blessings like driving on the road staring at another car we will miss our turn. If we keep our eyes on the road that God has destined for us only we can win. No one can finish last in their own race. Being in competition with others is very unhealthy anyway we need to focus on the road that God has already mapped out for us individually.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 – To every [thing there is] a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

 

A Letter To My Boaz

The Book of Ruth has been a blessing in my life. It made me want to be the best wife that I could be when God feels that  I am ready. I want to live according to His will. On my journey, things will come along as a distraction to get me to miss my blessings. To me, the most significant sign of maturity of a person’s walk is admitting to their faults and learning from them. When I got married ,God wasn’t in it, a marriage cannot survive without God being the foundation. God wasn’t in it but who knows what God can do. Everyone wants marriage but not the responsibilities that come with it.

Another thing this doesn’t apply to me but a good man wants a good woman of good quality. It’s not a good thing to be posting distasteful photos on the internet remember:

ruth-boaz

Back on topic, I learned that sometimes gaining something you may have to lose something. I also learned that if you have a relationship with Christ, there will be less tough lessons to learn because you will be in tune with His voice. Christ is hope with Him in our lives; we will always make the right choice.

To my future Boaz:

I want to thank God

For making you just for me

A faith, loyal, praying

Man of God

Even though we both have

Encountered tough times

God allowed us to survive

We learned what we wanted

Wasn’t what we needed

That when God isn’t in our lives

There’s more of a chance of

Us not doing what’s right

You need to know that  I value you

Already without even meeting you

Yet

I respect you

My Boaz with Ephesians five standards

I trust your leadership

Because  I trust God first

I want to pray with you

Read the Bible with you

Worship and fellowship

With you

If you have children

They are included too

Understand that there is no we or us

If everything or everyone that we love

Isn’t involved

I want to be a problem solver

Not a trouble maker

I want to ease your pain

And not cause it

I don’t care about material things

They come and go

Besides the Bible says that when

A man finds a wife he finds a good

Thing and will receive favor from

The Lord

So until the day, we come together

I want  you to know that

I am working on being awesome for

God and you

I want you to be my Boaz

And  I want to be your Ruth

I love the Book of Ruth

Ruth 2:4  And, behold, Boaz came from Bethlehem, and said unto the reapers, The Lord be with you. And they answered him, The Lord bless thee.thee.6

Last Month of the Year

My, My, My this year sure went by really fast. The year 2017 will be here before we all know it. I have to say that  I am pretty content with the way my year went. I’m very thankful for the things that happened and the things that didn’t. I am thankful for the people who came, went, and the ones who stayed it was all apart of God’s plan. There have been situations that have gotten me to think about what took place throughout my life. I’m taking a new course called Intercultural Competence it’s fascinating so far in the class we had to write about an experience in our lives that impacted us. The life experience that came to mind immediately was being a single parent. I am so thankful for having a relationship with Christ if it wasn’t for Him, not sure what my life would be like.

When  I think of single parenting, I reflect on the way  I was raised. I grew up in a single parent home for a short period which is sadly the norm in the African American community. I’m used to getting slammed for my views; however, I don’t care someone has to speak about it. I have numbers to back up what  I say African Americans are a minority yet 57.6% of fathers are absent from the home 31.2% of Hispanic fathers are absent from the home, and 20.7 white fathers are absent it’s a cold situation. Something has to be done; I am not sure exactly I have three sisters, and every one of us is single moms; it’s worth thinking about. I care about the children my mother was blessed to have someone special to come along; unfortunately, not everyone is. I would like to see a positive outcome, not sure how it will happen all  I know is God can do anything. I’m stay prayed up; it’s all we can do when there are no other solutions in sight — just looking forward to having a stronger relationship with Christ so I can continue to weather any storm that comes along.

This month  I believe in Christ doing something big, being an incredible mother, lasting relationships, success in my education, being a blessing to others and for God to use me anyway that He can. Lord, I’m ready to do Your Will and what You want me to do. I realize it took a certain situation to happen to help me to become a better person. Whether we want to believe it or not making us better may mean some not so good things were happening. December may be the last month and cold too; however, one can still look on the bright side new beginnings are on the way.

Bittersweet

I’ve prayed about it

I’ve allowed God to handle it

I’ve made room to forgive

It’s over

It’s finally over

Now I can

Start to experience closure

Trying to describe how

I’m feeling right now

It’s like trying to describe

The taste of water

As I have gotten older

I have realized that

Trying to reflect back on memories

It’s like physically trying to look

Over your shoulder

I’m just not that flexible

I’ve tried my very best

Yet in some cases

Ended up with less

There’s no need to cry over spilled milk

There’s absolutely no sense in it

I’m still blessed regardless

I just look at things as

Life learned lessons

Many things took place

Between you and I

You have no idea

Of how many tears

That I have cried

I really tired

Deep down inside

Apart of me feels like it wants to die

Yet there’s so much

That I would like to forget

I know that you had a purpose

After all we have two great kids

Here I go again

I have to stop this

I have to begin

The healing process

I have to do it

I have strength

It’s weird still

A small part of

This situation I can’t grasp

Am I still in love

Yeah right don’t make me laugh

The way that you act

Your middle name should be

Jackass or dumbass

Because you played a huge part

Of helping to put something that

Could have been special into the past

I won’t blame you totally

I also share responsibility

This ending is bittersweet

I came across a thought

Of you I actually smiled

And I felt a tear roll down my cheek

Yet I’m fine if we never speak

You have to leave

Something behind in order

To go forward

The hardest part of moving on

Is putting the pieces

Of your broken heart back together

And be brave enough to love again

It’s finally the end

It’s a tough pill to swallow

Tough to accept that we didn’t work out

A fresh start isn’t bad

I know that God has my back

So there’s no need to be sad

You Are Worth The Wait

Celibacy is a hot topic different people have different opinions on the subject. In my opinion it’s best to wait because we are worth the wait. If a man or woman cannot wait, it’s best to let them go, they are not worth your time. I will repeat these words several times to drive it home. Besides a person who loves you truly will respect you and your wishes.

Ladies, there are men out there who are celibate to think that we are alone in the waiting game is not being realistic. With sexually transmitted diseases being at an all-time high, it’s clear that God’s way is the best way. When we wait, it gives us a chance to know for sure if a person is right for us. I don’t know about you, but I will rather be heartbroken with my standards intact. God created lovemaking as a way for a husband and wife to bond. Souls are being connected you are special therefore you should not be getting connected to just anyone. Anyone who can lay down with anybody without any thought is a dangerous soul to get with anyway.

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Premarital sex has so much confusion and remembers God is not of confusion. If you come across a person, who says that they can’t wait to be like oh you can’t wait to get married? Because I am not having sex until I am married. Stand your ground; it’s your body. Making a person wait is your choice, and it’s also the person’s choice to accept it if they can’t, then they can leave. Think about it you’re good enough to sleep with but not to marry? Look, God said that He would give us the desires of our hearts if a person doesn’t feel that you are worthy to let them go. Intimacy is one of the most precious gifts that you can give a person don’t allow them to devalue it; it’s priceless. Don’t let a person to treat you like you are pawn shop worthy when you are Tiffany jeweler worthy if your price is too high tell them “bye.” Compromising happens during the marriage, not when you are in the process of receiving what God has for you. God has the absolute best, so don’t settle for less. Treat that person like you would when you get into a car accident, you go to a lawyer and not settle. That’s what we must do allow God to handle all of our business.

A true man or woman of God will do things God’s way because they respect it, and they want to do what’s right. A person who loves you will not pressure you to go against God’s way. Let’s be honest when was there a time when God’s way did not work? I can’t tell you the number of times when I was happy doing God’s will. Being celibate is hard. I think it helps to have people in your circle who is celibate too. Another suggestion is when you go out on a date, make sure that it’s in public don’t put yourself into a position for an opportunity to present itself. Date a person that’s on the same page as you and that will help to reduce having a slip-up. Most importantly, keep these five words in mind you are worth the wait.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20

18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

I’ve Got Personality

It’s official I have started another new course it’s called Theories of Personality. The whole point of me taking Psychology is for me to be able to counsel people before they get married and after. I want to help people stay happily married. God placed it on my heart to help married people and that’s what I am going to do. Being a blessing to others it’s a dream of mine I love supporting people anyway that I can. The world is filled with negativity and darkness I want to be the light in it.

Anyway back on topic this course got me to thinking about my personality and what influences me to be me. Growing up I believe it was rough for most children when we are coming into our own and trying to find out who we are. For me a huge part of my influence is Christ I am definitely proud to say that too. I’ve always loved to write and help others. Really looking forward to finding out more about myself although this course cannot teach me more about myself than God can. Yeah I said it.

Psalm 139:13-14

13 For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb.

14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.