Who Cares?

I am digging down deep in the depths of my soul and saying this in the most nonchalant way. “Who cares?” Who cares about who a person dated in their past? If it’s not effecting you in any kind of way why is it any of your business?

I have touched on this subject before however a recent situation pushed me to blog about it once more. A black woman literally felt compelled to explain her current dating choice because of her past dating choices. Obviously, this is pertaining to interracial dating. I am over people who want to bond through pain because they can’t stand to see others happy. Who this woman was in the past and who she is today more than likely isn’t the same. Everything happens for a reason and everything serves some kind of purpose. Bad situations can teach people that they deserve better. We live. We learn. We grow. This black woman used to date both black and white men. She has since decided to date white men only. So what? There could be several reasons why she has chosen to change her dating choices things like past relationships or doing what she always wanted to do. I can totally relate. My mother didn’t welcome my preference for white men and she made me feel like I was doing something wrong. I get that she came up in a different time but it didn’t change my desires. She allowed me to listen to heavy metal but watching the videos was so hard. I loved watching video of handsome white men with gorgeous long hair. The video for Christian Woman by Type O Negative changed my life.

We all are quick to say live your life but if you don’t have the support of your family certain life events can be difficult to pursue. Especially when they are making you feel as if you are doing something wrong or they show that they are straight against it. We all need support. Which is the reason why people keep their deepest desires to themselves until they feel confident enough to act on them.

It’s so important for us to love and know ourselves enough to do what is best for us in our lives. If there is one that I have learned over the years through the bullying etc is that it’s important to love yourself. I have seen people attempting to expose someone else as a way to stop them from pursuing their happiness. The same way this black woman’s past relationships is being exposed. Just because a person is afraid to act on their desires doesn’t give them a green light to influences yours these people’s opinions should be the least to be concerned about. Especially if these people are strangers. Why are these people attempting to stop someone else’s happiness? We should never forget that messengers have motives. Some people will stop at nothing to keep others miserable. What could be so wrong about being attracted to someone from a different race? After all love has no color. We should be able to love who we want unapologetically without feeling the need to explain ourselves.

Advertisements

My Idea of Love

First and foremost
Love has no color
In my eyes
If anything
We only deprive
Ourselves of
The endless possibilities
By limiting ourselves
Because we are afraid
To think outside
Of the box
Which has nothing
To do with preferences
Let’s be clear
It all boils
Down to fear
Why not step
Beyond our comfort zone
We become free to fly
High and broaden our horizons
We find out that
There is a whole
New world
To explore
That will embrace
Us and give
Us what we deserve
And a lot more
What a treasure
When we realize
That we can
Have better
We begin to change
We begin to grow
We become less hard
We feel more safe
In our womanhood
Understanding that we
Can be tough as nails
Or soft as Daffodils
There is something about
Being a confident lady
Where we feel safe
It changes things
We owe it to ourselves
To see what’s
Out in the world
To stop questioning
Our worth
Because our past relationship
Choices showed it
Our name is not
The United Way,
Salvation Army,
Or Goodwill
We are not
Charity cases
Therefore no one
Should expect to
Come into our worlds
All while displaying
Very little effort
We deserve more
Than lazy daters
We deserve more
Than deadbeat fathers
Who have multiple
Children mothers
All of which they
Have zero thoughts about
Life is so short
Each passing day that goes by
Should consist
Of choices
That reflects realistic
Plans that were thought out
We are better
Than spontaneous decisions
Unless we are traveling
Around the world
Other than that it’s time to divorce
Fear and marry
Having a priceless worth
If not it will
Be our future
That will be hurt
The right mentality
Will attract the right people
Who are destined to
Be in our lives
But it can’t happen
Without being open
To change
And valuing who we are
We are courageous
We are radiate
We are brilliant
We are a gift
Anyone who says or thinks different
Is out of place
It’s our life
People who wants to
Bring us down shouldn’t be in it
It’s our choice
People who express negative
Is the opposite of positive
They do not serve a purpose
So let them go their way
As we keep shining
Being a beacon light
For true love to find us

A Crush

I have been a huge fan of Regina King’s ever since the television show 227. It’s excellent that she is finally receiving the recognition that is well deserved. Recently she was on the Jimmy Kimmel Live show where she revealed who her longtime celebrity crush is. Now hang on to your hats for this one it’s not Billie Dee Williams or Denzel Washington. Nope, Nope, and Nope. It’s Sam Elliott. Regina spoke of how she loved him in the movie Roadhouse. Roadhouse came out in 1989 that tells you how young that she was when she first developed a crush on Sam Elliot. She was around 17 or 18 years of age. She gushed about the thought of being able to finally meet him. Who wouldn’t? Sam Elliot was amazing to me in the movie Tombstone. Ahhhhhh. The memories when I think of the movie Tombstone. He was always labeled as a sex symbol.

Regina King looks absolutely amazing her arms are on point, it’s like she’s aging backwards. It was comical reading the comments of the videos of her sharing who her celebrity crush is. Which supports everything that I have been saying about the double standards when it comes to black women dating non-black men. So Yeah. Regina King was in movies like Poetic Justice and Boyz in the Hood yet Sam Elliot is her all time celebrity crush. It was so refreshing to hear about that. It just goes to show how there are many black women who have had a crush on a sexy white man. And it’s quite all right. Woot Woot!

Unity

With every course that I take there is something that sticks out to me that gets me to thinking. Multicultural alliance is so important. Different people have a way of thinking and doing things differently. Cross-cultural communication is so important it helps people to become intuitive and sensitive to others which helps with interacting. Communication helps with understanding others. It’s also should be understood that individualistic and collectivistic cultures differ too especially in a negative sense. I can’t stand when a person want to lump a whole entire group of people together based on a bad experience with one person. Which is why I say some about certain people and not all.

I watched an interview that Phil Anselmo did, he is the former lead singer of Pantera. Some people call him a racist because of comments that he made in the past. He spoke of how he was an angry insolent child. He has gotten older and has matured. I know of people who were racist and they later changed. I’m not saying that he ever was. I do know that skinheads and the KKK seek children who are angry and hurt to direct those emotions towards people of different races. Remember the movie American History X?

I saw a post that was so hateful it spoke about how the black people of today could never measure up to the black people of the 60s, I agree to a certain extent. The black people of today are strangers to the importance of unity. Not unity within the black community only but across racial lines. Some of the black people of today are tearing down the hard work that was done in the 60s.

There were some things that I did not agree with when Obama was in the office but I did admire how his cabinet was multicultural. He understood the importance of people from every culture. People from all walks of life can offer some sound advice because sometimes the most valuable advice is the kind that isn’t taken. I refuse to let that happen. I don’t want to miss a thing.

I have a post about sisterhood and I consider my few friends as sisters. My friends are of different races. I am black and I don’t have anything against some black women just the ones who makes everything a competition it’s not that serious. We as a people can sometimes be our own enemies and it be for no reason. For an example if more black women choose to date outside of their race that’s great. What difference does it make if or when people come around? As long as they are doing better. Do you really want to see one another succeed? Or is it about getting into a person’s business to use them as a case study? There was a time when we all thought differently about so many things. So why not extend the courtesy of understanding to others? We know more now then we did ten years ago and so on. Come on. And why does everything have to be about who idea was first George Washington Carver made peanut butter but do you think people think about that when they are eating Skippy or Jif. The first computer was made in 1946 but do you think the people on an apple computer thinks of that. Self centeredness and self absorbed people just grind my gears!!!

My whole point is nothing positive comes from hate or division even if some don’t want to admit it. Unity stays in my vision.

Just a Thought

I have been meaning to post about this days ago. It’s about Nia Wilson she was killed because of a random act. Everywhere on Facebook it’s hashtag justice for Nia Wilson. I would like to say that I have her family in my prayers.

I find some of the people of my race comical. I read a post by a black man that said:
Dear White Men,
“In my presence Do Not And I Repeat Do Not Disrespect, Touch, Cuss, Do Anything To Harm My Black Women!”
Is this brother serious? I have seen him tell black women when they complain about black men to “choose better.” This is the kind of stuff that I am talking about!!! I can’t and don’t take some of these black men seriously. The hypocrisy is unreal! I see it every day.

What I am about to write could piss people off but it’s my opinion which I am entitled to. There is a video that I saw and the lady made a lot of sense. She spoke of how when she researched further about the Nia Wilson’s story that she found other stories that no one was talking about.

I’ll tell you the reason why the Nia Wilson story is talked about and not the others for the same reason why Rosa Parks was talked about and Claudette Colvin wasn’t. Or the Lovings and not Elinor Powell. The black community pick and choose the stories that they want to get outraged about. Some black people look at looks, prestige, and skin color as important and blame the white race. If you don’t believe me read Claudette Colvin’s story.

The moment that some black people see a situation with a white person they scream racism. It’s not always about race. I’m so sorry about Nia Wilson but the fact is more black women die by the hands of black men. There are more violent black on black crimes than black people being killed by another race. Murder is never right by anyone’s hands just like it’s not right to make up excuses about black on black crime. Where is the outrage about domestic violence? Where is the outrage when an innocent child is killed during a drive by? Where is the outrage about gang violence?

I wrote a post about this a few days ago all of my life I have embraced who I am. I have never followed the trend but did what made me happy. The point is some black people in the community pick and choose what to get outraged out as well as who to embrace. I have been mistreated by people who share my skin color however that’s a post for another day.

All life is precious and no one has the right to cut someone else’s short I don’t care what race the person is.

Love Wins in the End

Happy Sunday to Everyone! I pray and hope that everyone is enjoying this beautiful day!

My day started wonderful as I have just found out about another amazing interracial couple. The couple’s names were Frederick Albert and Elinor Powell.

Long before the Lovings there was Frederick and Elinor who fell in love during World War 2! Frederick was a white man and Elinor was a black woman.

Their story is incredibly amazing and inspiring! The heart wants what the heart wants.

Love always wins in the end!

Our History

A past is something that we all have. Today will be yesterday by this time tomorrow. Will I make a mistake? Will I offend someone? Will I overcook my broccoli? Will I wear my wig wrong and never be able to live it down? Will someone have a problem with the way that I lived my life ten years from now? When I get into a relationship how much of my past is owed to my partner? If I have worked my past out with God why should I have to dig up old bones again? I am not trying to pull out skeletons that are in my closet and lay them across the bed like a wardrobe. Explaining this mistake and that mistake. Really?! I am torn about this subject. I have so many questions and feelings.

In the news there has been waves made about this amazing Youtube couple name Justin and Ami McClure. Mr. and Mrs. McClure are a interracial couple who has a set of twins and a son. Recently, Mr. McClure’s past came back to haunt him. Many years ago before Mr. McClure got married he made some racist tweets about black people and black women. This situation has caused a media frenzy and I pray that their marriage can withstand this situation. I believe that Mr. McClure learned from his mistake there are many who refuse to allow him to live it down. It is obvious that he loves his family. This man adopted the twins if that doesn’t show that he’s a man of substance I don’t know what will. There are a lot of men who don’t take care of their children and he’s not one of them. Just Sayin.

It’s funny how last night I kind of got into a small debate about women who have been divorced giving a single or married couples advice. The guy felt that a divorced woman couldn’t give advice because her marriage didn’t last. As if a wife is solely responsible for keeping a marriage together. A person can’t keep a person who doesn’t want to be kept. In my opinion marriages end every day for different reasons. If a man cheats should a woman stay? If a woman cheats should a man stay? If a man is a drug addict should a woman stay? I get tired of one sided people. This man calls himself a Christian yet it’s the wife’s fault if a marriage falls apart? What happened to the husband being the head bruh? One of his female facebook’s friends jumped on the post coming for me. SMH! Ummm Sis. You go right ahead on and talk to yourself. Long story short I believe that experience is the best teacher. A mistake is a mistake no matter what kind that it is. Oh we can choose what a mistake is now? Suppose people got married young and things didn’t work out? Maybe the people who got married young can give advice about why getting married young was a bad choice. The base word of message is mess. A message can’t happen without a mess happening. We can learn from the past that’s why they teach history in school.

I don’t know about anyone else but I refuse to be bonded by my mistakes. I’m not going to keep reliving things. I might get involved with a partner and have to explain something that happened years ago? I don’t think so. If a person was married before okay then they should share that information. No one wants to have their past dug up. Our present is a gift that affects our future. The past is over and we have to be careful of people who are out to hurt us. Mr.McClure’s tweets are many years old and no I am not saying it’s okay. All I am asking is how long do we have to keep reliving something that is over? And why is it that some people gets a quicker pass than others? They will extend the courtesy a million miles long for certain people. I refuse to not live my life to the fullest out of fear. I have dealt with my past as far as I am concerned if there is nothing in my past that will hurt my partner later then there is nothing to discuss. Cars don’t drive backwards. People don’t walk backwards. So why should I live my life constantly looking back. Everyone has made mistakes and will continue to do so it’s called being human. The worst thing about a mistake is if nothing was learned from it. So I am erasing my past mistakes unless they can be useful to somebody else, besides that there is no need of studying my past one won’t be able to earn a degree from it.
menghapus-dosa