What’s Really the Problem?

Not too long ago I wrote about a post that a white woman wrote addressing black people. She questioned why some black people had an issue when one or the other dates outside of the race. It was definitely crazy how she pointed that out.

The Justin McClure’s situation has gotten crazy and nerve racking. Like leave that man in peace to love his family. It’s sickening how some of the people from the black community are behaving. I question what’s really the issue. To be honest the only people that he needs to answer to is his family.

I’m not giving up on hope for some black women they will come around eventually. I can’t name all of the things that my mother used to tell me and now I see what she meant. We have to extend the same courtesy to others because none us woke up and just got something. A lot of the reasons why we make the choices that we make is because something influenced it. Most people ask for advice for a reason whether they choose to accept it is another.

Why do some black people take delight in other people’s pain? It’s disgusting because it’s only exposing how people truly are. Waiting to be able to say I knew that they wasn’t perfect. Well who told you to put a human being on a pedestal so high done with the hopes that they will fall. Just so you can talk about it. Blackheartedness that is plain ugly. Vengeful spirited people scare me because they obsess about destroying a person. They don’t stop until their vengeance is fulfilled. And do you know what’s even more scary how hungry that they are about making it happen. Literally starving almost foaming at the mouth like a ravage dog. Instead of putting that kind of energy into leading a productive life. Some people are so freaking spiteful.

My mother used to say that some black people are like crabs in a basket. Crabs in a basket means a syndrome where a group of like situated people hurt those in their community attempting to get ahead. Often this is applied to people in an impoverished community where one person is starting to get ahead. The collective community becomes jealous or filled with a sense of self-loathing, so they find a way to pull that person back down to the community’s level.
When harvesting crab, the crab as a group will pull down any crab that starts to climb out of the barrel in an attempt to be the first out of the barrel that holds them in, hence crabs-in-a-barrel.

My mother dated only black men she wasn’t a swirler but she was a truth teller. She was born in the 50s so she witnessed a lot of stuff pertaining to some black people. Is that the problem? Some black people have a crab in a basket syndrome? If that is not the case then quit going after other people’s happiness as if you are on a witchhunt. Level up in the spirit regardless of your beliefs that way you’ll learn to be in competition with yourself and not obsess about destroying others.

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Selective Familyship

Don’t talk to me
About us being family
When a person
Being different
When diversity of thought
When not following the trend
Isn’t welcomed
Don’t talk to me
About our people
Being slaves
When in this
Current day
Some of you come up
With ways daily
To hurt your people
With memes and name calling
How black women
Are ugly, money grubbing,
Attitude, no hair or edges having,
Weave and wig wearing
Females with multiple
Children by different daddies
Warning anyone who will
Listening to stay away
Don’t believe me
Go look on social media
Search the internet
Things that are distorting
Black women’s image will be found
Which tugs at our self-esteem
For the whole world to see
It is the ultimate form of slavery
Bonded by the feelings
Of being unworthy
Of priceless things
Like love and respect
Public humiliation
At it’s finest
Some black men get on the internet
Proclaiming that black women
Just ain’t s***
For the record
I have two sons
By the same man
We got married
He went to prison
He got out
Guess where he is at
Yeap you guessed it
In another female’s bed
Taking care of another man’s kids
While acting like his kids
Don’t exist
When I share about
My history
It’s oh that’s why
She’s bitter and angry
There’s never any understanding
Some of you are
Worse than the Pharisees
Who caught the woman
In adultery
But the man that she was with
Got off scott free
It’s so sad
Nothing about this is funny
Ahhh the hypocrisy
Don’t talk about interracial dating
It’s almost like it’s a crime
For black women
To explore happiness
In some other locality
As if it’s poisioning
The black community
When some black men
Have been enjoying
Having cream in their coffee
Get some of them angry
That’s when things
Really gets ugly
And their true feelings
About you
Comes to the surface
But do you know
When they first had
These feelings
It was in the beginning
They didn’t just happen
And don’t get me
Started on the
Attacks that are used
As silencing tactics
I get so tired
Of being silent
So don’t come to me
With the our people mess
These selective battles
I just can’t stand it
It doesn’t make any sense
Stop being a hypocrite
I’m not for division
Amongst the races
Just leave me out of it
Claiming me
As your family
Or your people
Only when you see fit

Happy 4th of July

Happy 4th of July! To Everyone! Blessings!

Now that I have gotten that part out of the way. Here we go! Here comes the “woke folks” talking about Independence Day. How our ancestors wasn’t free. Indeed, But we are free today.

I am getting to the point where I almost dread the hoildays because you can count on someone ruining it. People giving a history lesson and I guarantee that they flunked social studies in school. Go sit down somewhere and quit being a stick in the mud that stirs up junk.
stickinthemud3

If people have such a huge problem with Independence Day I tell you what don’t be off from work or cookout on the grill because that’s being a hypocrite.

Don’t get me wrong I am aware of the history that took place, I’m just not for division. Yes, my ancestors were slaves but that was back in the day. I refuse to walk around angry behind things that took place centuries ago. It’s like me walking around being angry about an ex from years ago. Some people have love for an abusive ex and forgives them. Yet these same people are angry at white people from centuries ago whom they never met? I’ll be honest I don’t know much about my ancestors my family didn’t keep track of it. Some people are so selective with what they choose to fight about. I’m like New Edition you can count me out!!!

He’s My Baby Daddy

I wanted to hurry up and post this before father’s day because I don’t want to ruin the day with this news. Unless you have been living under a rock then you may have heard about the baby daddy greeting card Target drama. Yes, I call it drama because the situation is totally unnecessary. I don’t understand some of the people of my race. How come it’s okay for some of us to come up with words or be able to say certain words to one another but the minute a white person says it they are being racist? Yeah, I said it. For instance the “n” word is a very offensive word but some black people call one another that. Now stay with me I’m about to make a huge point.

I recently took a class and the subject came up about what is acceptable language socially. Long story short it was agreed upon that if it’s not acceptable socially then it should not be expressed verbally publicly. Still what is offensive? I have never liked the phrase “baby daddy”. I would cringe when I would hear some females say “oh he’s just my baby daddy”. There is nothing cool about having a baby daddy or for some mothers baby daddies. This phrase was suppose to be the new in words like “fleek” a word that I wish would go far away!!!
far-far-away

There were classes that were being taught in school about Ebonics. It was taught so that other races of people could understand the blending of words ebony aka black and phonics sounds. The Britannica describes it as “a form of American English used in the home or for day-to-day communication rather than for formal occasions”. The Merriam-Webster refers to “baby daddy” as slang.

The Urban Dictionary defines “baby daddy” as a father of a woman’s child that she is not involved with” The sentence used to explained the meaning of the words went something like this “Who is that? “Girl two”. That’s my dumb baby daddy”. So if this word is in the urban dictionary and it’s being used in heavy rotation, what’s the big deal about the “baby daddy” greeting card?

Target is a retail department store that was trying to “target” or appeal to the people who uses this phrase. I feel that it’s beyond ridiculous that they had to apologize for a greeting card. The greeting card was sighted as being “racially insensitive”. How is a greeting card with “baby daddy” in it being racially insensitive? It was a phrase invented by a person or people of the black race. For goodness sakes. How is a “baby daddy” card racist? I wonder what was the race of the person who made the card? And what kind of father’s day cards would mothers who aren’t involved with their children’s fathers deem to be appropriate? I guarantee that many of them refer to their children’s fathers as their “baby daddy”. Frankly, I just don’t get it. Here’s what was inside of the greeting card:
636645662607702926-American-Greetings-card-inside

I could be wrong but I think that when something sheds light on things that are being celebrated within the black community that should not be. The reality of dysfunction becomes real then all of a sudden it comes off as being “racist” because the dysfunction of what is going on in the black community is being exposed even if it was done unintentionally. Getting all up in a uproar behind a greeting card just shows that the truth hurts.

My Lane

As I get older I find myself traveling down memory lane, thinking of what could have been then I am bought back to reality, things are how they are supposed to be. When I was nineteen I attended college for a short time then I began working at a convenience store thinking what I was making was big money guess what? I wasn’t. I should have stayed in college I allowed my contentment with substituting pennies for dollars. I allowed my contentment for a small paycheck to be bigger than a career with the benefits of a 401k. I am now back in college with two children even though it’s never too late for a change. I can’t deny that my decisions has a lot to do with my present life.

Now that I am older I understand that I will follow through with my goals. I will run my race because I want to get to my destination which can’t be done trying to run someone else’s. I have grown. I trust God’s guidance and Not my own. I trust God with my life’s outcome. Every day I tell myself these things:
My life
My lane
My choices
My mistakes
My lessons
My testimonies
My destiny
My God shall direct my path and supply my every need.

Victim or Victor?

First off I would like to share that I have four more courses left and I will receive my Bachelor’s degree. After I receive my Bachelor’s degree I will pursue a Master’s degree. I have to thank God for all that He has done for me!

Now that I have gotten that part out of the way, currently I am taking a course in Victimology. Victimology is the scientific study of physical, emotional, and financial harm people endure because of illegal activities. One of my discussion questions was about victim blaming. Victim blaming is when the victim is made responsible for a wrongdoing that occurred to them. Victim blaming isn’t always fair people who live in poverty are assumed to be lazy or unmotivated which isn’t always the case some things happen that’s beyond one’s control. This course got me to thinking a lot.

I grew up in a Christian home and I am very proud about this. Along the way in my life, I have made mistakes that had nothing to do with God. God gives us free will and I chose to live Not according to His Will so I paid the price. I made my bed so I have to lay in it until I get to where I am meant to be. I am not a person who constantly blame others and never myself. The victim role isn’t my thing I want to be victorious but it can’t happen if I am constantly blaming people and licking my wounds.

People may look at my life from the outside it may look one way but trust me it will turn out another way. People look at being rich in money and things as being successful that is not true being content is being rich. Rich people have more problems than anyone. Like Biggie said “More money more problems”. I would be happy just being able to take great care of my sons, be healthy, physically, mentally, and emotionally as well as number one have a relationship with God. Understand this it’s not about being rich in things I never will be, I am responsible for where I am and not God. I am rich because I have grown from my mistakes and I know better so I am doing better. God has given us so many examples that we can learn from like making mistakes in life is like losing weight change won’t happen overnight but if you stay consistent it will.

So what do I mean by all of this? Are we going to be a victim or victor? Have I made mistakes in the past? Yes, and I have grown from them. I probably will make mistakes in the future. We have to sometimes make wrong turns before making right ones. I choose to evaluate myself before I blame anyone else. I choose to be victorious!

Like a Sister

We see it on television or social media every day a person who was considered to be a sister who betrayed another in the worse way. Is there any true sisterhood anymore? Are there any loyal sisters today?

It’s all about the respect and the value that people choose to place on things like friendships, relationships, marriages, and yes sisterhood.

I saw a beautiful post and it’s so how I am. The post said ” I am a woman’s woman and a faithful friend. I won’t run off with your man. I won’t hate you because you’re beautiful. I’ll celebrate your success as my own. I’ll keep your secrets and listen to your rants. I choose my friends carefully and if I choose you, I’ll love you like a sister.

I don’t take pleasure in pulling other sisters down. No matter where I am in life through my highs and lows I am never stingy with a compliment. If a sister has lost weight, a new place, new hair-do I will tell her, that I am proud, that she’s beautiful. Never will I undermine a sister’s accomplishment she deserves her props. One thing I don’t do and that’s jock another sister’s style, I am a confident woman I don’t constantly need the spotlight.

This world is already wicked and filled with heartless hateful people. Being negative is easy to do, seeing the best in people can be hard if we focus on the bad things only. There is peace in positivity.

Being mean and fault finding all the time isn’t healthy it’s good to have awareness of the negative people and situations. However, it’s good to enjoy things as well as people that come along.

I choose to believe that there are still good people and that means sisters of every color. Flowers bloom together, they don’t compete because each has their own unique beauty. I’m keeping faith about true sisterhood. It exists.