Does Every Kiss Really Begin With Kay ?

Tis the season of engagements, Christmas is the time of year when people make it official the most. I have a post about love being more valuable than a ring. I also believe that it’s the thought that counts as well. If a millionaire gave a person a 20.00 engagement ring would the person still receive a kiss? The other day I posted about how some black people attack others behind their opinions and this situation isn’t any different. There is a lady on facebook who made a video pertaining to the possible reason for all the recent engagements. Kay jewelers has a sale of rings and earrings for 19.99. The lady said that she noticed a lot of women getting in engaged with these rings for 19.99. Maannn!!! This lady’s video has gone viral and she’s a black lady by the way. The video has thousands of comments which many are abusive name calling and shaming this lady behind her opinion. It’s comical to me because I guarantee that the very people who claim that the price of a ring doesn’t matter would act entirely different if they were in that position. If a guy has on Jordan’s and owns a iPhone X or a Samsung Galaxy S8 and proposed with a 19.99 ring. Would they really say yes? Somebody ain’t being truthful. The high divorce rates and low marriages rates within the black community says so.

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For the record I think the jewelry looks very pretty. I believe love is more important than a ring, material things come and go. There have been families who have lost all their valuables in a fire or flood. My point is how the woman who made a video about her opinion went viral with over a million views. People are giving her all this attention just to be mean to her and it isn’t right. Differences of a opinion is just Not accepted and they are welcomed with insults. I wouldn’t be surprised or doubt it if I’m being bashed somewhere behind expressing my opinions and experiences. A group trashing me. But that’s only supporting what I am saying. Yeah I said it!!!!

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Rejection is a Blessing

Rejection is a blessing!!! When I was younger rejection used to bother me then I realized it’s their loss not mine. Everyone isn’t going to like me and I am fine with that. I was watching a You-Tube video and the lady made some amazing points about not being the collective of black people. I have felt this way all of my life I listen to all kinds of music and I think a completely different way for sure. She spoke of how her own people which are black people have been the most cruelest towards her and it wasn’t the other races of people. I can definitely testify about what she said. This used to bother me but I have since embraced who I am. I just go where I am appreciated. I am very happy because I feel free and that’s a blessing. I will not hide my feelings, likes or dislikes if people don’t like who I am then goodbye. It means our time has expired and I am good trust me on this!!!! Everything happens for a reason and some people are for a season.

I have written posts about being honest about what’s going on within the black community. The numbers don’t lie and it’s not wrong information. Some people don’t want to face the truth which means they are not ready to change the community. We have to be honest about the problems that are in the black community. If you speak about what’s wrong in the black community you will get attacked. People will be on you quicker than Clark Kent can find a phone booth and change into superman. Instead of using google to stalk people or attempt to “expose others” how about using it to find out about the black babies being born out of wedlock, high divorce and low marriage rates if that doesn’t make you want to promote positive changes I’m not sure what will. Change within the black community can’t come by blaming the white race for why the community is the way that it is when we are setting today’s trend of negativity and damage. I don’t want to hear about Andrew Jackson with slaves and being on the money. Can we get up to date Harriet Tubman is on the front of the money Andrew Jackson is on the back….like how slavery is back in the day. I am very familiar with what took place years ago.

Don’t tell me that you support your people when black people have a business some of you expect a hook up. Complain about the prices in a black owned restaurant but pay good money in another. SMH!!! Ahhhhhh!!! The Contradictory. We speak of being one of the most tolerant races yet some people are quick to reject people who are different from them. I thank God for helping me to be happy with who I am that way I won’t waste my time trying to get people to accept me. I am fine with being a square I don’t want to fit in the black collective circle. I am Tameeka!!! I love God, football, basketball, poetry, all music however rock music is my favorite,I’m a single mother, I’m educated, I’m kind, I’m supportive, I’m loyal and the list goes on and on. I love myself enough to know who I am, where I belong and where I don’t.

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Live Unapologetic

Time and time again
I find myself talking
About things that
Really should not
Have to be explained
However I find myself
Doing it anyway
Why is it
When it comes to black women
Wanting to live well
It becomes an issue
There should absolutely
Be no excuse
To blatantly try to devalue
Black women because
They want more
Women who don’t
Want the dead-end constant drama
Of a hood love romance
It has no positive ways out
Majority of the time
It’s not a comedy TV show
Life in the hood
Aren’t good times
There’s nothing good about it
Black women needs to know
That’s it’s okay
To rise above the madness
It’s okay to level up
Life should not always be
All Mary J. Blige
Or Erykah Badu
Jammin to R & B tunes
All while we are memorized
About being on
Emotional roller coasters
That make us want to be soldiers
Of a war that we will fight alone
As single mothers to
To deadbeat fathers
It’s a war that we can’t win
We have to stop foolin ourselves
There comes a time to
Be all EnVogue
And free our minds
Get out the matrix
Of hood life
Neo nor Morpheus
Are nowhere in sight
There’s more to life
Than just getting by to survive
It’s okay to thrive
Who wants the hustle and bustle
To heck with the struggle
It’s okay to want to escape
To live life a better way
If it’s done right a way
It’s possible to be unscaved
Who wants to contribute
To a life of poverty
To be apart of the community
With a legacy
Of broken homes
It’s time to change
What is viewed as the norm
Who wants to be a poster child
Of making the most
Of a bad situation
Making ourselves numb
To pain
That kind of life
Doesn’t produce
Anything that’s satisfactory
Think of the possibilities
Of living differently
Without being made to feel guilty
It’s time to be set free
Start on a new path
To seek a different
Kind of intimacy
Embracing the struggle
Is more like slavery
We should never settle
We are special
It’s a good thing
To aim high
To dream big
To live well
To love ourselves
To want to be loved right
There’s nothing wrong
With not wanting to live
A life of agony
Living a life of despair
Is so unfair
No one deserves that
It’s burdensome
We are under no obligation
So make freedom
Be something
That becomes contagious
Live life unapologetic
And don’t look back

Don’t Come For Me

Today I had a black man tell me that myself and other black women who choose to swirl deserves to be placed into an oven alive so we can burn. I know what you are thinking Tameeka “why do you care about what a troll says?” I’ll tell you why because like I have already been saying there is a problem within the black community. It’s hard for me as well as some of the other single mothers who have black sons. Many of us are fighting to make sure that our sons will be respectable and productive citizens. I have already shared that I have always been attracted to white men however I did have two children with a black man. One day I will tell the whole story in a book because it’s worthy of that. I will say this while I love my sons very deeply I do wish that they was blessed to have another father however they would not be who they are without having the father that they have. The main thing that needs to be said is this don’t come for me unless you know my story and you heard it come from me directly. I am Not ashamed of my battle scars the war has been won that part of my life is done. I am at the point in my life that I don’t mind talking about what I have been through if it can help someone else.

My sons are by the same man who I married as well. The marriage did not work out it is what it is, getting married is one thing staying married is another. What is the most important thing that needs to be understood is that sometimes in order to avoid what Not to do you must understand why you should Not do it. I had my oldest in 2001 and my youngest in 2003 that was before Facebook, Twitter and You-Tube. Today there is a wealth of information available that can help the generations after me. Understand this I have never told any black woman to date a black man only. I always say date the person who loves and treats you the best regardless of his skin color because love has no color. There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to have a family it just has to be done properly. If hurricane Harvey wasn’t an eye opener I am not sure what will there were way too many single black mothers who were totally alone. I am a advocate for breaking the chains of broken homes because they are the destroyer of children’s tomorrows. Every child deserves to be brought up in an intact home. I do Not want any child to walk around with a hole in their heart that was created by their parent. Children can be repaired unlike most adults this is why broken homes must cease be eradicated all together.

Back on topic I remember when I told my mother that I was attracted to white men at first she had a hard time accepting it. My mother told me that she was afraid of me being hurt but as I told her any man can hurt you. The support of interracial dating that is out now wasn’t around in the 80’s and 90’s. Support strengthens people to be brave enough to stand up for what they believe is right think about it civil rights didn’t happen with just Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. acts alone. As black women we must pull together and lift one another up not looked down on other women who messed up. I know that there are some disrespectful black men who are on a vendetta to try to destroy us but they can’t do that as long as we band together. I want to see all black women happy and successful don’t judge me by my past. To know me now is to learn my past so you may learn from it the struggles that I encountered yesterday made me the woman who I am today and I am not ashamed. Hurt people, hurt others and healed people, heal others please know that I am healed woman.

My School’s Contest

I am super excited!!! My college is holding a contest and I entered into it. We had to make a video explaining our why. Why did we decide to return back to college? I want to make a difference in the community. I am very concerned about broken homes. I am hoping that I win if not it is still okay because I got a chance to use my voice.

Something to Think About

My sistas! My sistas! My beautiful black sisters. The bible says that the truth shall set you free. I am about to speak the truth. Today  I was talking to one of my blood sisters and she was talking about a post that she read on Facebook. The post was by a young lady who is pregnant unmarried and the baby’s father left her. My sister’s response was that she should get over it that most black men dump black women with children every day. What has our community come to? We are becoming desensitized to being subjected to tyranny. Sistas we deserve better and our children deserve better too.

I don’t bash black men but you know what the good ones aren’t saying anything to the bad ones. A lot of black men love to call themselves correcting black women but it’s more like putting us down. Black men put a condom on stop bring babies into the world that you make up excuses for neglecting. Stop sleeping with women who you know that you are Not going to marry. Black men stop degrading black women. Black men stop making up excuses for why you guys abuse black women. Stop complaining about black women not being feminine enough we can’t be soft when we are placed into a hard place. It’s hard to be vulnerable when we have to be in constant defense mode. Many black women are leaders of the household and God did Not intend for it to be that way.

My sistas many of you are educated, strong, brave, beautiful etc. You deserve happiness, faithfulness and loyalty. Happy marriages and relationships doesn’t consist of drama, heartache and struggle. Seek more and expand your horizons. You Are Worth It! Believe that!

The Child Support Hustle

Oh, do it. Oh, do it Do it. Do the hustle, do the hustle. Do the hustle, do the hustle. Do the hustle. Oh, do it. Oh, do it. Do it. Do the child support hustle. I’m sorry but I just couldn’t resist because it’s so funny to me how some men can come up with anything excuse as an attempt to dodge their responsibilities. Anyway I hear lots of guys call child support a woman’s hustle. Like dude you guys cannot be serious. Are you?
I’ve heard some guys say to women for them to “choose better” when they get involved with a guy. As if I guy is going to introduce himself like “Hello my name is loser. I’m going to sell you a bunch of dreams, impregnate you and be a dead beat father.” Oh if only things were that simple there would be less broken homes.
As I always say that I don’t put black men down but I am not making excuses for the ones who are not right either. We have to call a spade out when we see one. There are some men who get a woman pregnant to tie her down. There are some men who pay child support but don’t want to be a father to their children. There are some men who don’t want to pay child support nor be a father to their children either. What boggles me is that must people in the black community have come from broken homes. Why don’t people in the community want to break the chain of broken homes instead of adding more links? We’ve seen what’s it’s like to grow up in a broken home and we know as well as understand the pain.
I get so tired of guys calling child support a hustle. Like a woman didn’t make a child alone and yeah don’t forget dude it’s your responsibility regardless. I don’t receive child support for my two sons by the way and  I won’t touch that subject…for now anyway. Attacking black mothers isn’t going to change the fact that a man has to pay child support. Most times when a woman takes child support out on the father he was given many opportunities to do right but he didn’t.
No woman want to go through going to court to make a father do what is right. Think about it when a father gets behind on child support the child gets like really nothing. So who’s losing here? The child. If you ask me it’s some of these fathers running a hustle because they are skipping out on their responsibilities. Some of these fathers need to bust a move and take care of their children or just use protection. It’s just that simple.