Are We Obligated?

More and more I am seeing other people in my race asking this question “Are we obligated”. Just because we share the same skin color doesn’t mean that we support or think the same way.

I have always thought differently from the black collective. No, I don’t support things that will cause division. If a black person says people can support who they want in politics or people can love who they choose. They had better get ready for the pushbacks and attacks. The main attacks are the name calling and the public humiliation. It’s all silencing tactics and frankly no I don’t want to align myself with people who will attack as soon as you don’t agree about something.

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Here are the facts, yes white people have done things in the past but Not to me directly, the people who hurt me the most look like me. During the month of black history, there needs to be more honesty about what the black race did to each other.

In my opinion, we can never move forward as a race without placing the blame where it belongs. Everything isn’t the white people’s fault. Sorry but not sorry. I’m just being honest.

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I Get It Now

Yesterday on Facebook I spoke out against gun control. I’m so thankful for my blog because it reminds me of the reason why I started it. People always tell me to speak for myself but when I do, I end up hitting someone’s nerve. I’m all for people having their own opinions but I can’t tolerate dealing with people who can’t see anything else, a debate becomes a headache instantly.

The post that I wrote said,” Everyone wants to talk about gun control but no one wants to talk about broken homes”. Oh! Why did I say that?! Here comes the backlash!

Everyone wants to talk about mass murders but no one wants to talk about what started it all prior to the person pulling the trigger. Bullying, delinquent associates, substance abuse, untreated mental illnesses and so forth all goes back to a child’s upbringing. Poor family relations and poor parental supervision are some of the reasons for the lack of parental intervention. No one wants to address the potential risk and need factors before the violence occurs.

Now please don’t misunderstand me I am sorry for the lives that were lost in violent crimes. I just don’t feel that gun control is the solution. People want a quick fix to more than likely a problem that they may have helped to contribute to. Its let’s take the guns away but don’t talk about poor home training. Everything isn’t a microwave fix sometimes a stove has to be used. Modern times have spoiled some people, they want quick fixes without putting in the work.

No one wants to talk about some women not using birth control or caring about the kind of partner they are having children with (who will soon be absent). The crazy thing is that some of the very people who support abortion feel that it’s okay to take away a person’s right to bear arms.

Like I said, “it’s all fun and games to talk about taking away someone else’s right until it’s something that they care about”. I’m being honest some of the black people who are for gun control because of the mass shootings are the same ones who get upset when black on black crime is mentioned. Some black people want to talk about the crazy white kid who committed mass murder but doesn’t care about a black kid being shot on the street corner. That’s when the snitches get stitches come in to play and no one says a word that could help to solve a murder. Some black people are selective about certain causes. Yes. I said it. They rather talk about the broken homes happening overseas. They don’t want to talk about the 72% out of wedlock rate that is climbing. The children born out of wedlock will want to know where they came from and why their parent is absent. It is selfish for adults to mess up as parents and expect their children to be okay. There are no do-overs in parenting it’s easier to fix a damaged kid than a broken adult. These broken people go out into the world, become society’s problem and sometimes people get hurt.

I am convinced more than ever that everything that I experienced growing up has lead up to this moment. I used to be ashamed about the pain from my childhood but now I want to help others. I get it now my past has molded me and now I am speaking out.

While growing up in a broken home
All I ever wanted
Was if I was blessed to become a mother
That my children would not experience
The same thing
My father was abusive
My mother struggled
She did her best of raising me
More important than the
Time spent, home cooking, cooking lessons
Was teaching me about Christ,
Responsibility and accountability
People say that the best way
To reach others is to be
Able to relate
To their pain
To their upbringing
I get it now
Everything that happened in my life
Was meant for something greater
People speak of gun control
But no one wants to speak
About the dysfunction
That is produced from a broken home
Serial killers, mass murders, bombers,
Black on black crime, terrorist etc.
All of these people are apart of situations
Where innocent people were killed
Not all by guns
When people want to kill
They don’t always use guns
One way or another
They will find a way to get it done
They will do what they set out to do
It’s time for me
To speak the truth
Being silent
There is no use
I get it now

Go Ahead

It never ceases to amaze me. The moment I share that I enjoy heavy metal a pop quiz always follows with a continuation of questionnaires. How long have you been listening to metal? I was talking about the Red Hot Chili Peppers and the person was like, what is the leader of the band’s name? Like really dude? If it was hip-hop would I be given the third degree? Geez, I didn’t know that listening to certain music came with stipulations.

When some black people find out they swear that I don’t listen to metal. Whatever dude. Black people were the pioneers of rock music, so get over it. I am a black woman who enjoys listening to heavy metal and I am Not alone. I try not to get triggered but I just hate labels. Labels suck!!! Don’t place them on me!
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I have been listening to heavy metal every since I was really young. Pantera, Korn, Arch Enemy, In this moment, new metal and old I am very knowledgeable. My love for music is genuine.

Half Baked

There once was a lady who I used to associate with who said something that was so profound. She said that “she was tired of a lot of black mothers sending their sons out into the world half baked expecting girlfriends and wives to finish baking them”. I never forgot her words. She said the words out of frustration due to the problems she was having out of her boyfriend at the time. He was always lying and cheating. The man was just an irresponsible person who cared nothing about his actions or the hurt that he inflicted upon others.

The one thing that I have learned from my criminal mind’s class is that everything starts at home. Most times the foundation of a serial killer’s dysfunction is an unhealthy home life. No, I am not justifying killing, I am pointing out how powerful family is. Jeffrey Dahmer’s mother abandoned him, Charles Manson’s mother rejected him and the Son of Sam’s birth mother rejected him as well.

The sad thing about the black community is that dysfunction is the “norm” for some people. People have developed a high tolerance for toxic behavior even finding it entertaining. People can’t complain about what’s going on in the community yet enjoy watching the same situations on television or jam to degrading lyrics to a song on the radio. Sza’s song “The Weekend” is okay to bob your head to until the woman who’s sharing the man is you. Heck!!! Some women are okay with sharing a man. Not understanding that they deserve a man who will love them so much that he is faithful. Many young black women come from broken homes so they wasn’t taught about their worth.

No one wants to stay in a place that is filled with dysfunction and so people want to leave it behind which is fine and dandy. Sadly leaving the mess behind will not solve everything toxic problems have a way of effecting many eventually. A messed up community has a way of affect everyone in some way, shape or form. Like a tsunami, crimes waves doesn’t just affect one area only, it ends up effecting a lot of innocent people. Just something to think about.

All parents have to do their part to ensure that wrong parenting decisions doesn’t become problematic for others. No matter how old our children get they are still ours. They are a reflection of us. So whether we spoiled them as a way to compensate for an absentee father and doing so they developed a feeling of entitlement. Or rewarding children constantly for no reason regardless of bad behavior. Every choice has consequences that can reap good or bad harvests.

Somewhere along the way in the past people have failed their children and have to be honest about it. Some have put things like men or drugs above their children scarring their children with rejection and abandonment issues. Choosing to pick their wants over their children’s needs. It’s wrong to expect children to deal with adult issues and think that they will turn out fine.

Parents are children’s first heroes, don’t ruin it by placing zero value on parenthood. It’s priceless. Being a star to our children is a blessing. So as parents we must do what it takes to make sure our children are productive people and are not damaged. We should love them enough that we make sure that we are never the reason for them having holes in their hearts. Being human is not an excuse to make careless decisions that may harm others later. Remember that one life touches another, it’s important that we raise our children in a way that they are a blessing and not a curse in other people’s lives. Everything starts at home, let’s not send our children out into the world half baked.

Pink Metal Head

I have to start off by saying that I am totally stoked!!! Here on be lifted I talk about the things that are thought about but they are not spoken about. I have shared about my love for heavy metal mind you that I listen to all music however rock/heavy metal is my favorite. Every since I was young I have loved heavy metal!!! I grew up in a time where a black girl listening to heavy metal was unheard of, I’m thankful that my mother allowed me to be free to listen to what I wanted to. It was no secret about my love for heavy metal. The first song that had me hooked on rock music was AC/DC “You Shook Me All Night Long” which came out in 1980, the video was very cool. When Nine Inch Nails first came out in 1989 with “Head Like a Hole” I was hooked and I have been a fan of their’s every since. Trent Reznor and I both share the same birthday, May 17th baby!! Type O Negative really has made an impact on me and I love the band so much.

The reason why I am bring up my love for heavy metal/rock music is because recently I came across a black young lady who loves heavy metal like I do. The you tuber’s name is pink metal head and she’s 21 years old. It’s so refreshing to see young black ladies owning their identity unapologetically. She did share that there have been people who try to match a person’s race to music. Example that black people listen to hip hop and r & b only and that white people listens to heavy metal/ rock music only. The stereotypes seriously has got to go. Things have gotten a lot better from when I was growing up. Seeing more and more young black ladies as well as men appreciate heavy metal just chokes me up. I just had to blog about it.
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Both of my sons listens to heavy metal/rock music; my youngest listens to everything that I do. My youngest son’s favorite bands are Metallica and Danzig. His favorite song by Metallica is “One” and his favorite song by Danzig is “Mother”. Today my youngest and I was jamming to Pantera, Megadeath, White Zombie, Type O Negative, Metallica and the list just goes on and on. With the younger generations tastes in music becoming more diverse, it’s the best feeling on Earth. I just want to tell the youth of today that music transcends racial boundaries if you want to listen to country music go ahead I love Darius Rucker. I have been a fan of Darius Rucker every since he was the lead singer of Hootie and the Blowfish. If you love hip hop and R & B listen to it and if you love heavy metal/rock music then jam on. If you love all music like I do, that’s great too. Whatever music that you choose to listen to please do as long as you are being you. Even our choices of music says a lot about who we are so do what makes you happy as long as it isn’t hurting anybody. I’m proud of the upcoming heavy metal generation,it’s becoming more colorful ; which is excellent.
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Does Every Kiss Really Begin With Kay ?

Tis the season of engagements, Christmas is the time of year when people make it official the most. I have a post about love being more valuable than a ring. I also believe that it’s the thought that counts as well. If a millionaire gave a person a 20.00 engagement ring would the person still receive a kiss? The other day I posted about how some black people attack others behind their opinions and this situation isn’t any different. There is a lady on facebook who made a video pertaining to the possible reason for all the recent engagements. Kay jewelers has a sale of rings and earrings for 19.99. The lady said that she noticed a lot of women getting in engaged with these rings for 19.99. Maannn!!! This lady’s video has gone viral and she’s a black lady by the way. The video has thousands of comments which many are abusive name calling and shaming this lady behind her opinion. It’s comical to me because I guarantee that the very people who claim that the price of a ring doesn’t matter would act entirely different if they were in that position. If a guy has on Jordan’s and owns a iPhone X or a Samsung Galaxy S8 and proposed with a 19.99 ring. Would they really say yes? Somebody ain’t being truthful. The high divorce rates and low marriages rates within the black community says so.

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For the record I think the jewelry looks very pretty. I believe love is more important than a ring, material things come and go. There have been families who have lost all their valuables in a fire or flood. My point is how the woman who made a video about her opinion went viral with over a million views. People are giving her all this attention just to be mean to her and it isn’t right. Differences of a opinion is just Not accepted and they are welcomed with insults. I wouldn’t be surprised or doubt it if I’m being bashed somewhere behind expressing my opinions and experiences. A group trashing me. But that’s only supporting what I am saying. Yeah I said it!!!!

Live Unapologetic

Time and time again
I find myself talking
About things that
Really should not
Have to be explained
However I find myself
Doing it anyway
Why is it
When it comes to black women
Wanting to live well
It becomes an issue
There should absolutely
Be no excuse
To blatantly try to devalue
Black women because
They want more
Women who don’t
Want the dead-end constant drama
Of a hood love romance
It has no positive ways out
Majority of the time
It’s not a comedy TV show
Life in the hood
Aren’t good times
There’s nothing good about it
Black women needs to know
That’s it’s okay
To rise above the madness
It’s okay to level up
Life should not always be
All Mary J. Blige
Or Erykah Badu
Jammin to R & B tunes
All while we are memorized
About being on
Emotional roller coasters
That make us want to be soldiers
Of a war that we will fight alone
As single mothers to
To deadbeat fathers
It’s a war that we can’t win
We have to stop foolin ourselves
There comes a time to
Be all EnVogue
And free our minds
Get out the matrix
Of hood life
Neo nor Morpheus
Are nowhere in sight
There’s more to life
Than just getting by to survive
It’s okay to thrive
Who wants the hustle and bustle
To heck with the struggle
It’s okay to want to escape
To live life a better way
If it’s done right a way
It’s possible to be unscaved
Who wants to contribute
To a life of poverty
To be apart of the community
With a legacy
Of broken homes
It’s time to change
What is viewed as the norm
Who wants to be a poster child
Of making the most
Of a bad situation
Making ourselves numb
To pain
That kind of life
Doesn’t produce
Anything that’s satisfactory
Think of the possibilities
Of living differently
Without being made to feel guilty
It’s time to be set free
Start on a new path
To seek a different
Kind of intimacy
Embracing the struggle
Is more like slavery
We should never settle
We are special
It’s a good thing
To aim high
To dream big
To live well
To love ourselves
To want to be loved right
There’s nothing wrong
With not wanting to live
A life of agony
Living a life of despair
Is so unfair
No one deserves that
It’s burdensome
We are under no obligation
So make freedom
Be something
That becomes contagious
Live life unapologetic
And don’t look back