Who Cares?

I am digging down deep in the depths of my soul and saying this in the most nonchalant way. “Who cares?” Who cares about who a person dated in their past? If it’s not effecting you in any kind of way why is it any of your business?

I have touched on this subject before however a recent situation pushed me to blog about it once more. A black woman literally felt compelled to explain her current dating choice because of her past dating choices. Obviously, this is pertaining to interracial dating. I am over people who want to bond through pain because they can’t stand to see others happy. Who this woman was in the past and who she is today more than likely isn’t the same. Everything happens for a reason and everything serves some kind of purpose. Bad situations can teach people that they deserve better. We live. We learn. We grow. This black woman used to date both black and white men. She has since decided to date white men only. So what? There could be several reasons why she has chosen to change her dating choices things like past relationships or doing what she always wanted to do. I can totally relate. My mother didn’t welcome my preference for white men and she made me feel like I was doing something wrong. I get that she came up in a different time but it didn’t change my desires. She allowed me to listen to heavy metal but watching the videos was so hard. I loved watching video of handsome white men with gorgeous long hair. The video for Christian Woman by Type O Negative changed my life.

We all are quick to say live your life but if you don’t have the support of your family certain life events can be difficult to pursue. Especially when they are making you feel as if you are doing something wrong or they show that they are straight against it. We all need support. Which is the reason why people keep their deepest desires to themselves until they feel confident enough to act on them.

It’s so important for us to love and know ourselves enough to do what is best for us in our lives. If there is one that I have learned over the years through the bullying etc is that it’s important to love yourself. I have seen people attempting to expose someone else as a way to stop them from pursuing their happiness. The same way this black woman’s past relationships is being exposed. Just because a person is afraid to act on their desires doesn’t give them a green light to influences yours these people’s opinions should be the least to be concerned about. Especially if these people are strangers. Why are these people attempting to stop someone else’s happiness? We should never forget that messengers have motives. Some people will stop at nothing to keep others miserable. What could be so wrong about being attracted to someone from a different race? After all love has no color. We should be able to love who we want unapologetically without feeling the need to explain ourselves.

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Virtually Invisible

Figuratively and Metaphorically
I have abdominal pains
Head injuries
Due to me falling
From always attempting to take
The high road
It’s so sad how
I get hurt from
Trying to be
The bigger person
This happens constantly
Because I have been
Avoiding the realization that
Some situations are just
Too low to ignore
You put the beat
Into being a deadbeat
No wonder why
Drumline was once
Your favorite movie
I get called
The B word
Because I call you out
On your crap
Well you are
The N word
Which is Narcisst
You say that you
Miss and love
Your kids
Remember this
Actions speaks louder
Than words
You miss special moments
Because you are so busy
Entertaining your
Selfish fantasies and desires
Trying to be everything
To everyone
Except for those
Who should be
The most important
Which are
Your very own children
Your very own flesh and blood
Currently they are not
Your priority
And they probably
Never will be sadly
You have a
Childish mentality
Always bragging
About being the baby
Of the family
You tell lies in order
To keep your comfortability
Which has broken
Our sons spiritually
I’ll call you It
You are a clown
Not because you bring joy
Or that you are funny
It’s because of the
Deceptive makeup that you wear
And tricks
That you are offering
You are just a big joke
That no one is laughing at
One day will be someday soon
When you will live to regret
The missed holidays and birthdays
That were traded for
Less than a minute
Duration calls
Trump wants to build a wall
He should
Build one around
The men who display
Precursors of being
Deadbeat fathers
And the problem would
Be solved
I am tired
Of irresponsible men
Spreading their seed around
Without having any
Kind of conscience
And have the audacity
To blame the mothers of the children
Calling us jealous and bitter
As if
You are an innocent bystander
That was hit by fatherhood
You fools don’t know that
One plus one
Equals three
Without the use of
A condom
Isn’t being protected
Worth paying three dollars for
Nevermind
Judging by your track record
Of muiltiple baby mothers
Your irresponsible actions
Speaks volumes loudly
Why must the children
Endure your painful lessons
Because of you constantly
Making messes
That will become society’s issues
One way or another
Raising a child
Requires the presence
Of both mother and father
Coparenting
Doing whatever is necessary
You can’t possibly
Possess a mirror
How can you look
At yourself each and every day
Knowing that you are not
Taking care of your responsibilities
Nothing matters
Because you deadbeat
Are content
With being a virtually invisible
Father

The Story of My Life

Growing up my walls were plastered with posters of Skid Row, Kiss, Cinderella etc. My mother bought me t-shirts with Guns N Roses and Pantera on them. I’ve never went a long with what was considered to be the collective of the black community. I listen to all music but metal/ rock music is my favorite besides the lyrics in the rap music of today are disrespectful. I’m not interested in music that constantly degrades women it just isn’t cool. There are some women who listens to this kind of music with the excuse of well they aren’t talking about me. Which is so completely lame. Some of these rappers only concern is to make money not even wanting a gold or platinum record like how it was years ago. Rappers years ago wanted to make positive changes in the community. Things are so different from years ago that it almost breaks my heart.

The thing about the internet and social media people are able to connect and tell their truths. I can totally relate about being told that I’m not black enough because of my choices in music, social views etc. What’s being black enough anyway? Isn’t my skin color enough? I never understood the phrases “acting white” or “not being black enough”. Still I’ve heard this most of my life. It only kept me isolated when I was young. I can definitely relate to this video it’s the story of my life.

Just a Thought

I have been meaning to post about this days ago. It’s about Nia Wilson she was killed because of a random act. Everywhere on Facebook it’s hashtag justice for Nia Wilson. I would like to say that I have her family in my prayers.

I find some of the people of my race comical. I read a post by a black man that said:
Dear White Men,
“In my presence Do Not And I Repeat Do Not Disrespect, Touch, Cuss, Do Anything To Harm My Black Women!”
Is this brother serious? I have seen him tell black women when they complain about black men to “choose better.” This is the kind of stuff that I am talking about!!! I can’t and don’t take some of these black men seriously. The hypocrisy is unreal! I see it every day.

What I am about to write could piss people off but it’s my opinion which I am entitled to. There is a video that I saw and the lady made a lot of sense. She spoke of how when she researched further about the Nia Wilson’s story that she found other stories that no one was talking about.

I’ll tell you the reason why the Nia Wilson story is talked about and not the others for the same reason why Rosa Parks was talked about and Claudette Colvin wasn’t. Or the Lovings and not Elinor Powell. The black community pick and choose the stories that they want to get outraged about. Some black people look at looks, prestige, and skin color as important and blame the white race. If you don’t believe me read Claudette Colvin’s story.

The moment that some black people see a situation with a white person they scream racism. It’s not always about race. I’m so sorry about Nia Wilson but the fact is more black women die by the hands of black men. There are more violent black on black crimes than black people being killed by another race. Murder is never right by anyone’s hands just like it’s not right to make up excuses about black on black crime. Where is the outrage about domestic violence? Where is the outrage when an innocent child is killed during a drive by? Where is the outrage about gang violence?

I wrote a post about this a few days ago all of my life I have embraced who I am. I have never followed the trend but did what made me happy. The point is some black people in the community pick and choose what to get outraged out as well as who to embrace. I have been mistreated by people who share my skin color however that’s a post for another day.

All life is precious and no one has the right to cut someone else’s short I don’t care what race the person is.

I Am Free

I’m not for racism
You are cooning
I’m a Christian
You are stupid
That’s a white man’s religion
I want to work with every race
You are working with the enemy
I’m opening up my dating options
You are a bed wench
I enjoy the freedom of wearing wigs
You are wearing someone’s hair
Because you can’t grow your own
I have friends of every race
You are an Oreo
I have dreams of better things
You are still black
I am feminine
You are weak
I am educated
You are not that smart
I am valuable
You are worthless
I have standards
You are not all of that
I am leaving the hood
You are not going anywhere
I don’t like what’s going on
Within the black community
You are self-hating
I am living my best life
You are a sellout
I love my brown skin
You are too dark
I love my natural hair
You are nappy headed
I love heavy metal
You are trying to be something
That you are not
I’m happy with my size
You are fat
I enjoy living the single life
You are a thot
I enjoy being alone
You are a liar no one wants you
I love me some me
I love you too Boo
How could you?
All of these negative words
Came for you
If you love me
You sure do have a funny way
Of showing it
Well I am free
And I no longer
Care about you attempting
To degrade me
What you believe
Only elevates me
As I strive to be
The opposite
Of what you would
Like to see for me
Misery loves company
But you can’t
Stop me from being happy
You don’t control
My destiny

Our History

A past is something that we all have. Today will be yesterday by this time tomorrow. Will I make a mistake? Will I offend someone? Will I overcook my broccoli? Will I wear my wig wrong and never be able to live it down? Will someone have a problem with the way that I lived my life ten years from now? When I get into a relationship how much of my past is owed to my partner? If I have worked my past out with God why should I have to dig up old bones again? I am not trying to pull out skeletons that are in my closet and lay them across the bed like a wardrobe. Explaining this mistake and that mistake. Really?! I am torn about this subject. I have so many questions and feelings.

In the news there has been waves made about this amazing Youtube couple name Justin and Ami McClure. Mr. and Mrs. McClure are a interracial couple who has a set of twins and a son. Recently, Mr. McClure’s past came back to haunt him. Many years ago before Mr. McClure got married he made some racist tweets about black people and black women. This situation has caused a media frenzy and I pray that their marriage can withstand this situation. I believe that Mr. McClure learned from his mistake there are many who refuse to allow him to live it down. It is obvious that he loves his family. This man adopted the twins if that doesn’t show that he’s a man of substance I don’t know what will. There are a lot of men who don’t take care of their children and he’s not one of them. Just Sayin.

It’s funny how last night I kind of got into a small debate about women who have been divorced giving a single or married couples advice. The guy felt that a divorced woman couldn’t give advice because her marriage didn’t last. As if a wife is solely responsible for keeping a marriage together. A person can’t keep a person who doesn’t want to be kept. In my opinion marriages end every day for different reasons. If a man cheats should a woman stay? If a woman cheats should a man stay? If a man is a drug addict should a woman stay? I get tired of one sided people. This man calls himself a Christian yet it’s the wife’s fault if a marriage falls apart? What happened to the husband being the head bruh? One of his female facebook’s friends jumped on the post coming for me. SMH! Ummm Sis. You go right ahead on and talk to yourself. Long story short I believe that experience is the best teacher. A mistake is a mistake no matter what kind that it is. Oh we can choose what a mistake is now? Suppose people got married young and things didn’t work out? Maybe the people who got married young can give advice about why getting married young was a bad choice. The base word of message is mess. A message can’t happen without a mess happening. We can learn from the past that’s why they teach history in school.

I don’t know about anyone else but I refuse to be bonded by my mistakes. I’m not going to keep reliving things. I might get involved with a partner and have to explain something that happened years ago? I don’t think so. If a person was married before okay then they should share that information. No one wants to have their past dug up. Our present is a gift that affects our future. The past is over and we have to be careful of people who are out to hurt us. Mr.McClure’s tweets are many years old and no I am not saying it’s okay. All I am asking is how long do we have to keep reliving something that is over? And why is it that some people gets a quicker pass than others? They will extend the courtesy a million miles long for certain people. I refuse to not live my life to the fullest out of fear. I have dealt with my past as far as I am concerned if there is nothing in my past that will hurt my partner later then there is nothing to discuss. Cars don’t drive backwards. People don’t walk backwards. So why should I live my life constantly looking back. Everyone has made mistakes and will continue to do so it’s called being human. The worst thing about a mistake is if nothing was learned from it. So I am erasing my past mistakes unless they can be useful to somebody else, besides that there is no need of studying my past one won’t be able to earn a degree from it.
menghapus-dosa

I Stand Corrected

Yesterday I wrote a post about the out of wedlock rate for black single mothers as 72%. I stand corrected after further research the number has grown to 77%. It’s sad to me instead of some people wanting to face the issue they rather question the information. I read a black guy’s comment in a video attempting to debunk the number based on most black people not taking a census. SMH! I don’t need a census I see a lot of single black mothers. Denial is a heck of a drug!

Another thing when I spoke of people attacking me for speaking the truth I still stand on that. Some people don’t like to hear the truth. Many times when some people have a losing position and are unable to formulate a sound logical argument to counter what a person is saying the next thing they do is attack you!!! These people will do whatever they can to attempt to discourage a person from speaking truth. I am not worried I am not perfect and neither are the people attacking me. How about coming up with solutions for this out of wedlock rate problem? If not the numbers will continue to grow. So who’s to blame for it?

http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/77-black-births-to-single-moms-49-for-hispanic-immigrants

This is an old video but it has a great message.