The Blame Game

I see and hear a lot of black men tell black women to choose better and it’s comical. What if choosing better means being with a man who may not be the same race as me? Everyone who reads my blog knows that I talk about responsibility and accountability. I have held myself accountable for the things that have occurred in my life. I take a daily evaluation of who I am because I know that I am not above of offending anyone. However, I will not be shamed by men who most times aren’t married, have children all over the place, and down other black women who think differently from them. No, I don’t know every black man, just like how all black men don’t know all black women but they still judge us anyway. The very people who feel that my advice isn’t good enough track record isn’t so squeaky clean either.

I’m get so tired of a lot of black men telling black women to choose better when at least 72% of black children are born out of wedlock, that’s 8% away from being above average at failing to build a solid family structure. It’s harder to walk away when people are married and it shows that a man is planning to stick around. A lot of these black men spread their seed everywhere and are nowhere to be found in their children’s lives. Be a father who is in their children’s lives beyond baby and toddler stages but middle school, puberty stage, awkward stage, high school, college, and beyond. Don’t let this be you!!! Casper the friendly ghost!!!
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Single parents like myself understand the consequences of our decisions, we see it every day. We don’t need people like you reminding us about our story when you don’t have a clue about the details of our story. Don’t judge just by what you see alone even silent movies/films have subtitles. I refuse to have men who don’t pay my bills tell me about my life the only person’s opinion that I care about is the Lord Jesus Christ, He’s the one who brought my two children and I through every hardship.

Both black men and black women need to get it right, please stop trying to make it seem like it’s all our fault. Because guess what? It’s not, the numbers don’t lie. I’m so tired and no I am not bitter, I am smarter I have learned from my mistakes. Regardless of what some of you men think learning from mistakes means not choosing from the same group of men again. The probability of getting a good quality black man is a numbers thing, not a color thing, not a hurt thing, and not a bitter thing; it’s a reality thing. Check the statistics. If 72% of black children are born out of wedlock there is only 28% who are doing right so some of you black men who tell us to choose better are part of the problem too. It’s hard to choose better when there isn’t much to choose from. A lot more black men are marrying out and black couples have a low marriage rate and high divorce rate. Let that sink in really deep before you judge and give mediocre advice. It’s time for an epiphany my brothers, I had mine a long time ago. MY EYES ARE WIDE OPEN!!!

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Stop It

So I just took a little break from my homework assignment to blog a quick post. I received a notification from an awesome lady that I follow on You-Tube about some fake news. There have been rumors circulating that black women are planning to boycott the movie Black Panther. Now hang on to your hats for the reason why it is being boycotted. It is rumored that it’s because of an actor by the name of Michael B. Jordan. I had to google his name I’m not a huge movie buff so please pardon me for my lack of knowledge of not knowing who he is. The reason why black women are so called angry is because of who he is dating. Fake News!!! No one cares about who this guy is dating it’s his choice, I could give a hill of beans. I promote interracial dating especially for black women because it’s rarely seen. And I believe that love has no color so whomever it is that’s responsible for starting this rumor is really lame.
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As I have already shared I am not really into movies but I do love certain television shows such as the Walking Dead. I love Michonne and I love the actress Danai Gurira. The reason why I would pay to see Black Panther is because I would want to see her. It’s comical to me how there’s fake news about black women being triggered by who Michael B. Jordan is dating. It’s a known fact that when most black men become famous they marry out of their race. To me it’s all good as long as they don’t treat white women as a status of luxury like a mansion or a fancy car because that’s not cool either; they are human beings. We are all human beings who are worthy of true love regardless of our race. Why does it have to take some black men to have money in order to date out? Do they feel that without having a lot of money maybe non-black women wouldn’t give them a chance? Hmmm perhaps there isn’t much to them besides their money? Anyway I don’t care who people choose to date it doesn’t affect me. Every person has the right to date and marry whomever they choose. Love has no color. Most black women feel exactly how I do we don’t care who black men date so please Stop the Madness!!! Stop With the Fake News!!!

http://www.diversityinc.com/news/black-women-boycotting-black-panther-just-rumor/

Does Every Kiss Really Begin With Kay ?

Tis the season of engagements, Christmas is the time of year when people make it official the most. I have a post about love being more valuable than a ring. I also believe that it’s the thought that counts as well. If a millionaire gave a person a 20.00 engagement ring would the person still receive a kiss? The other day I posted about how some black people attack others behind their opinions and this situation isn’t any different. There was a lady on facebook who made a video pertaining to the possible reason for all the recent engagements. Kay jewelers has a sale of rings and earrings for 19.99. The lady said that she noticed a lot of women getting in engaged with these rings for 19.99. Maannn!!! This lady’s video has gone viral and she’s a black lady by the way. The video has thousands of comments which many are abusive name calling and shaming this lady behind her opinion. It’s comical to me because I guarantee that the very people who claim that the price of a ring doesn’t matter would act entirely different if they were in that position. If a guy has on Jordan’s and owns a iPhone X or a Samsung Galaxy S8 and proposed with a 19.99 ring. Would they really say yes? Somebody ain’t being truthful. The high divorce rates and low marriages rates within the black community says so.

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For the record I think the jewelry looks very pretty. I believe love is more important than a ring, material things come and go. There have been families who have lost all their valuables in a fire or flood. My point is how the woman who made a video about her opinion went viral with over a million views. People are giving her all this attention just to be mean to her and it isn’t right. Differences of a opinion is just Not accepted and they are welcomed with insults. I wouldn’t be surprised or doubt it if I’m being bashed somewhere behind expressing my opinions and experiences. A group trashing me. But that’s only supporting what I am saying. Yeah I said it!!!!

Live Unapologetic

Time and time again
I find myself talking
About things that
Really should not
Have to be explained
However I find myself
Doing it anyway
Why is it
When it comes to black women
Wanting to live well
It becomes an issue
There should absolutely
Be no excuse
To blatantly try to devalue
Black women because
They want more
Women who don’t
Want the dead-end constant drama
Of a hood love romance
It has no positive ways out
Majority of the time
It’s not a comedy TV show
Life in the hood
Aren’t good times
There’s nothing good about it
Black women needs to know
That’s it’s okay
To rise above the madness
It’s okay to level up
Life should not always be
All Mary J. Blige
Or Erykah Badu
Jammin to R & B tunes
All while we are memorized
About being on
Emotional roller coasters
That make us want to be soldiers
Of a war that we will fight alone
As single mothers to
To deadbeat fathers
It’s a war that we can’t win
We have to stop foolin ourselves
There comes a time to
Be all EnVogue
And free our minds
Get out the matrix
Of hood life
Neo nor Morpheus
Are nowhere in sight
There’s more to life
Than just getting by to survive
It’s okay to thrive
Who wants the hustle and bustle
To heck with the struggle
It’s okay to want to escape
To live life a better way
If it’s done right a way
It’s possible to be unscaved
Who wants to contribute
To a life of poverty
To be apart of the community
With a legacy
Of broken homes
It’s time to change
What is viewed as the norm
Who wants to be a poster child
Of making the most
Of a bad situation
Making ourselves numb
To pain
That kind of life
Doesn’t produce
Anything that’s satisfactory
Think of the possibilities
Of living differently
Without being made to feel guilty
It’s time to be set free
Start on a new path
To seek a different
Kind of intimacy
Embracing the struggle
Is more like slavery
We should never settle
We are special
It’s a good thing
To aim high
To dream big
To live well
To love ourselves
To want to be loved right
There’s nothing wrong
With not wanting to live
A life of agony
Living a life of despair
Is so unfair
No one deserves that
It’s burdensome
We are under no obligation
So make freedom
Be something
That becomes contagious
Live life unapologetic
And don’t look back

Something to Think About

My sistas! My sistas! My beautiful black sisters. The bible says that the truth shall set you free. I am about to speak the truth. Today  I was talking to one of my blood sisters and she was talking about a post that she read on Facebook. The post was by a young lady who is pregnant unmarried and the baby’s father left her. My sister’s response was that she should get over it that most black men dump black women with children every day. What has our community come to? We are becoming desensitized to being subjected to tyranny. Sistas we deserve better and our children deserve better too.

I don’t bash black men but you know what the good ones aren’t saying anything to the bad ones. A lot of black men love to call themselves correcting black women but it’s more like putting us down. Black men put a condom on stop bring babies into the world that you make up excuses for neglecting. Stop sleeping with women who you know that you are Not going to marry. Black men stop degrading black women. Black men stop making up excuses for why you guys abuse black women. Stop complaining about black women not being feminine enough we can’t be soft when we are placed into a hard place. It’s hard to be vulnerable when we have to be in constant defense mode. Many black women are leaders of the household and God did Not intend for it to be that way.

My sistas many of you are educated, strong, brave, beautiful etc. You deserve happiness, faithfulness and loyalty. Happy marriages and relationships doesn’t consist of drama, heartache and struggle. Seek more and expand your horizons. You Are Worth It! Believe that!

Why Are You Angry?

There are some black men who are walking around angry and they hate black women. The worst part is some of them call themselves men of God. They claim that they want to help correct black women but that’s highly doubtful. Yes, God corrects people but He does it in love.

I don’t hate black men but when someone speaks on it they get slammed. The black community is chaotic, poverty-stricken, and dysfunctional I’m not sure if the chain will ever be broken.

When I hear a angry black man speak ill of a black woman immediately I wonder why are they so angry. Did they fall off their bike and their mother didn’t kiss their boo-boo? Did a girl who they wanted to go to their first dance with turn them down? Did their first love break their heart? It’s important for us to figure it out because many of them have a vendetta against black women. Many of them feel better by degrading and demeaning black women and it must stop. The only way the anger will stop is if we can all figure out why. I think that it’s because of broken homes after all 72% of black fathers do not reside with their children and 73% of children are born out of wedlock.

I’m not bashing black men but I’m not working for Scooby snacks and empty praises from men who hates us either. I want to know why are they so angry I don’t want any of my beautiful nieces or any of the upcoming beautiful young ladies to experience disrespect from hateful men something has to be done.

Many black men aren’t getting married but have children everywhere women have to play bounty hunter like they are Dog (TV show guy) to get support for their children. The child support payments that women receive most times isn’t enough for a week’s worth of groceries. Quite frankly it’s despicable especially how they blame black women for how they behave it’s all too much. It’s just too much unnecessary drama from hateful and unfaithful men. I don’t know about anyone else but I’m not signing up for struggle love. Which is why I choose not to date them anymore I refuse to go on a scavenger hunt to look for a good black man aka IBM but that’s another post for another day.

I’m just curious about how they can hate black women but love their mom and sisters. Or maybe they just don’t love any black woman at all. It just doesn’t make sense men of the world I expect them to be harsh and cruel but not the men who calls themselves a man of God. I pray that God softens the hearts of hateful men.

The Child Support Hustle

Oh, do it. Oh, do it Do it. Do the hustle, do the hustle. Do the hustle, do the hustle. Do the hustle. Oh, do it. Oh, do it. Do it. Do the child support hustle. I’m sorry but I just couldn’t resist because it’s so funny to me how some men can come up with anything excuse as an attempt to dodge their responsibilities. Anyway I hear lots of guys call child support a woman’s hustle. Like dude you guys cannot be serious. Are you?
I’ve heard some guys say to women for them to “choose better” when they get involved with a guy. As if I guy is going to introduce himself like “Hello my name is loser. I’m going to sell you a bunch of dreams, impregnate you and be a dead beat father.” Oh if only things were that simple there would be less broken homes.
As I always say that I don’t put black men down but I am not making excuses for the ones who are not right either. We have to call a spade out when we see one. There are some men who get a woman pregnant to tie her down. There are some men who pay child support but don’t want to be a father to their children. There are some men who don’t want to pay child support nor be a father to their children either. What boggles me is that must people in the black community have come from broken homes. Why don’t people in the community want to break the chain of broken homes instead of adding more links? We’ve seen what’s it’s like to grow up in a broken home and we know as well as understand the pain.
I get so tired of guys calling child support a hustle. Like a woman didn’t make a child alone and yeah don’t forget dude it’s your responsibility regardless. I don’t receive child support for my two sons by the way and  I won’t touch that subject…for now anyway. Attacking black mothers isn’t going to change the fact that a man has to pay child support. Most times when a woman takes child support out on the father he was given many opportunities to do right but he didn’t.
No woman want to go through going to court to make a father do what is right. Think about it when a father gets behind on child support the child gets like really nothing. So who’s losing here? The child. If you ask me it’s some of these fathers running a hustle because they are skipping out on their responsibilities. Some of these fathers need to bust a move and take care of their children or just use protection. It’s just that simple.