Writing

Trusting the Process

I’d be lying if I said that certain things didn’t make me wonder what God was doing. There has been times when I wasn’t sure whether I was going or coming. But I remembered all the times when God brought me through. I’m trusting God so I have no choice but to trust the process. Everything that God allows us to go through serves a process and we become better because of it.

So I have allowed myself not to be bitter but better and to be silent while I listen to God’s still voice. Learning not to be sad but glad there’s no room for worry. Praying for everyone who has hurt me and let my children down as well as comfort too. I think the best way to be successful in understanding the process is disowning the things that man may try to tell you about yourself. God opinion is the only one that holds the most value.

Lord I know what You told me so I trust You through it all no matter what happens or how things looks like. I know that everything will be alright. Lord I know that You know what is best for my life I know because I can feel what is to come. Lord you show us things everyday which are signs of what’s to come the sunset is a sign of night approaching and cloudy skies is a sign of a storm. On the flip side a sunrise is sign of a new day. A storm comes to an end and so we see a rainbow. Lord I love You and I know that You will see me through just like You always do.

The Letter

My life keeps getting more and more interesting every minute. I’m a massive fan of the movie Immortal Beloved it’s about the life of Beethoven. There are so many parts of the film I love the actor Gary Oldman did a fantastic job. Gary Oldman brought the movie to life he’s a brilliant actor underrated for sure. This movie came out in 1994, perhaps my top favorite thing besides the music was a letter that Beethoven wrote to the woman that he truly loved. Ahhhhh yes I love the words “ever thine ever mine ours”  words from a great man ever. I know what you are thinking what is Tameeka talking about now? I’ll be getting to that in a minute. My ex and I are like opposites it’s the truth. I don’t hate him; I look back at what we had as a life lesson. It is what it is. The posts that I write are to encourage and inspire somebody. I believe that there is someone somewhere who’s going through what I am going through. Anyway back on topic.

It’s incredible when you are trying to move on things from the past fall out of nowhere. I found a letter written by my ex from five years ago. That’s right five years ago. I think the purpose of the letter could be for closure. It wasn’t about the letter being from him it was about what was in it. He wrote me many different letters it’s weird that this one suddenly appears. Out of all the letters written why this one I have moved from one address to another and this letter pops up. The letter had several different questions, so I assume that perhaps these are unanswered questions that he may have. I will answer the questions in this post it’s not like he’ll ever read it anyway it’s all about healing. Healing is a great thing.

When my ex ask questions he always wants it done with a “simple yes or no” well things aren’t always that easy.  The paragraph starts with,”Let me ask you these questions because it seems that I am not getting a straight answer from you just answer these questions with a yes or no let’s keep it simple.” Do you still want to be with me? Do you even miss me? Do you love me? Why don’t you ever say that you love me? Do you regret being with me? When my ex got locked up, it made me very angry. I wanted an intact family, and it got destroyed, so I was mad for a long time. When he went away to prison in 2007, I called about the status, and when the lady told me 240 months, I was devastated. My world came crashing down life that I knew had changed. I’m no different from other mothers I wanted the house with the white picketed fence things were ruined in a blink of an eye. At the time I did miss him, it wasn’t about the financial help our sons were growing up without him. He missed out on a massive chunk of our children’s lives so many memories he will never have. Did I love him ever yes I did? I will always have some love for him. Real women are in touch with their feelings, and they keep it 100. It’s amazing how people can’t see how a person loved them. I showed it and told him that too. I never regretted being with my ex; it took him to make our two sons. Our sons are like a replica of us; it’s quite astonishing. I never regretted him, and I never will.

I believe that closure can only happen when things are faced, or we will continue to think about things and reliving situations that have been long over. Being stuck in the past only robs the present, which is a gift. I can’t change what happened, but I have forgiven my ex as well as let go of lots of anger. My ex needs to let go of his anger too because there’s no sense in it. I pray for my ex’s salvation because he doesn’t believe in Christ. I pray that God powerfully touches his heart. For him to have a blessed a life, he has to let go of the anger and the hate it will only poison all of his relationships, including the ones with our children. Taking the same old bricks into a new relationship will only destroy it and I don’t want our children to ever blame themselves. Father God touch my ex’s heart so it will soften and he let’s You in so that You can give him a new start. Lord You know that I mean every word and it’s coming from the heart. Please handle it Father God everything is in Your Hands. I thank You in advance. Amen.

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things passed away; all things are become new.

Bittersweet

I’ve prayed about it

I’ve allowed God to handle it

I’ve made room to forgive

It’s over

It’s finally over

Now I can

Start to experience closure

Trying to describe how

I’m feeling right now

It’s like trying to describe

The taste of water

As I have gotten older

I have realized that

Trying to reflect back on memories

It’s like physically trying to look

Over your shoulder

I’m just not that flexible

I’ve tried my very best

Yet in some cases

Ended up with less

There’s no need to cry over spilled milk

There’s absolutely no sense in it

I’m still blessed regardless

I just look at things as

Life learned lessons

Many things took place

Between you and I

You have no idea

Of how many tears

That I have cried

I really tired

Deep down inside

Apart of me feels like it wants to die

Yet there’s so much

That I would like to forget

I know that you had a purpose

After all we have two great kids

Here I go again

I have to stop this

I have to begin

The healing process

I have to do it

I have strength

It’s weird still

A small part of

This situation I can’t grasp

Am I still in love

Yeah right don’t make me laugh

The way that you act

Your middle name should be

Jackass or dumbass

Because you played a huge part

Of helping to put something that

Could have been special into the past

I won’t blame you totally

I also share responsibility

This ending is bittersweet

I came across a thought

Of you I actually smiled

And I felt a tear roll down my cheek

Yet I’m fine if we never speak

You have to leave

Something behind in order

To go forward

The hardest part of moving on

Is putting the pieces

Of your broken heart back together

And be brave enough to love again

It’s finally the end

It’s a tough pill to swallow

Tough to accept that we didn’t work out

A fresh start isn’t bad

I know that God has my back

So there’s no need to be sad

The Day Will Come

Goooooooooooood Morning to all!! I got my cup of coffee ready!! Yum Yum Yummy!! My Dallas Cowboys was on a bye this week. That really sucked for me on the bright side the Walking Dead made it’s return. There’s a lot of mixed reviews and emotions about it. I made a podcast about it. The show called the Day Will Come was a very emotional episode. I’m not just a Daryl Dixon fan but a Norman Reedus fan. He’s a brilliant actor and person. The so much more to come from the Walking Dead hang in there I know that I am!!!

Download this episode (right click and save)

You Are Worth The Wait

Celibacy is a hot topic different people have different opinions on the subject. In my opinion it’s best to wait because we are worth the wait. If a man or woman cannot wait, it’s best to let them go, they are not worth your time. I will repeat these words several times to drive it home. Besides a person who loves you truly will respect you and your wishes.

Ladies, there are men out there who are celibate to think that we are alone in the waiting game is not being realistic. With sexually transmitted diseases being at an all-time high, it’s clear that God’s way is the best way. When we wait, it gives us a chance to know for sure if a person is right for us. I don’t know about you, but I will rather be heartbroken with my standards intact. God created lovemaking as a way for a husband and wife to bond. Souls are being connected you are special therefore you should not be getting connected to just anyone. Anyone who can lay down with anybody without any thought is a dangerous soul to get with anyway.

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Premarital sex has so much confusion and remembers God is not of confusion. If you come across a person, who says that they can’t wait to be like oh you can’t wait to get married? Because I am not having sex until I am married. Stand your ground; it’s your body. Making a person wait is your choice, and it’s also the person’s choice to accept it if they can’t, then they can leave. Think about it you’re good enough to sleep with but not to marry? Look, God said that He would give us the desires of our hearts if a person doesn’t feel that you are worthy to let them go. Intimacy is one of the most precious gifts that you can give a person don’t allow them to devalue it; it’s priceless. Don’t let a person to treat you like you are pawn shop worthy when you are Tiffany jeweler worthy if your price is too high tell them “bye.” Compromising happens during the marriage, not when you are in the process of receiving what God has for you. God has the absolute best, so don’t settle for less. Treat that person like you would when you get into a car accident, you go to a lawyer and not settle. That’s what we must do allow God to handle all of our business.

A true man or woman of God will do things God’s way because they respect it, and they want to do what’s right. A person who loves you will not pressure you to go against God’s way. Let’s be honest when was there a time when God’s way did not work? I can’t tell you the number of times when I was happy doing God’s will. Being celibate is hard. I think it helps to have people in your circle who is celibate too. Another suggestion is when you go out on a date, make sure that it’s in public don’t put yourself into a position for an opportunity to present itself. Date a person that’s on the same page as you and that will help to reduce having a slip-up. Most importantly, keep these five words in mind you are worth the wait.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20

18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

Cuffing Season

I’m a very positive person still you have to speak truth. Sometimes when you speak truth some people don’t want to receive it that’s fine come back to my blog when you are ready to. I write about things that are thought about and on this post I want to discuss cuffing season.

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Now I know what you are thinking what is Tameeka talking about now??!!! Well I’ll tell you cuffing season is when people try to cuff others and it’s Not out of love so don’t confuse the two. If a person hasn’t contacted you springtime nor summer but want to now you should wondering why. Sometimes when others are treating us wrong we think that it’s a reflection of ourselves but it isn’t it’s quite the opposite. We still have to be honest to keep us from enduring unnecessary pain. Just because a person is with you physically doesn’t mean that they are mentally remember home is where the heart is. Who needs a dude texting another woman while you are sleeping and some woman may want to fool herself if a man is doing sneaky things like that it’s not love believe me when I tell you.

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I understand that sometimes we get lonely it’s human but we don’t want to allow a season to mess us up for a lifetime. God will send the right one but it can’t happen if you are with the wrong one. Any person cuffing you during cuffing season is the wrong one. Trust God. In our times of weakness it’s best to pray.

https://youtu.be/0Zejx52r_S8

Politics Gets The Side Eye

Okay I have a confession to make politics annoys me. Politics divides good people and things can gets really ugly. Whether you are for Clinton or Trump who cares why does it have to get bad? Bottom line it’s our choice our vote is our voice. Why can’t people agree to disagree?

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