Last Month of the Year

My, My, My this year sure went by really fast. The year 2017 will be here before we all know it. I have to say that  I am pretty content with the way my year went. I’m very thankful for the things that happened and the things that didn’t. I am thankful for the people who came, went, and the ones who stayed it was all apart of God’s plan. There have been situations that have gotten me to think about what took place throughout my life. I’m taking a new course called Intercultural Competence it’s fascinating so far in the class we had to write about an experience in our lives that impacted us. The life experience that came to mind immediately was being a single parent. I am so thankful for having a relationship with Christ if it wasn’t for Him, not sure what my life would be like.

When  I think of single parenting, I reflect on the way  I was raised. I grew up in a single parent home for a short period which is sadly the norm in the African American community. I’m used to getting slammed for my views; however, I don’t care someone has to speak about it. I have numbers to back up what  I say African Americans are a minority yet 57.6% of fathers are absent from the home 31.2% of Hispanic fathers are absent from the home, and 20.7 white fathers are absent it’s a cold situation. Something has to be done; I am not sure exactly I have three sisters, and every one of us is single moms; it’s worth thinking about. I care about the children my mother was blessed to have someone special to come along; unfortunately, not everyone is. I would like to see a positive outcome, not sure how it will happen all  I know is God can do anything. I’m stay prayed up; it’s all we can do when there are no other solutions in sight — just looking forward to having a stronger relationship with Christ so I can continue to weather any storm that comes along.

This month  I believe in Christ doing something big, being an incredible mother, lasting relationships, success in my education, being a blessing to others and for God to use me anyway that He can. Lord, I’m ready to do Your Will and what You want me to do. I realize it took a certain situation to happen to help me to become a better person. Whether we want to believe it or not making us better may mean some not so good things were happening. December may be the last month and cold too; however, one can still look on the bright side new beginnings are on the way.

Happy Thanksgiving 2016

Thanksgiving is not just about the turkey being  that I am Vegan there will be no turkey at all. Besides too much gobble gobble will make you wobble wobble and I don’t mean the dance either.LMBO!! I am thankful for so many things number one my relationship with Christ Jesus. Thankful for my two sons and life lessons. Thankful for my family and friends. No matter what occurs good or bad they both work together for good. Just thankful for everything it’s all a blessing in one way or another. Happy Thanksgiving to all! Blessings!

The Truth Is

Good Morning! Happy Sunday! Happy Praise the Lord Day!!!! God is God!!

No one is perfect this we all know. I’m not saying this to make anyone feel bad but to feel better.  There are so many things available to help us to attempt to change what we don’t like about ourselves. There is plastic surgery, hair weaves, contacts for our eyes etc; it’s human nature to look for imperfections. We sometimes care about the opinions of people who are imperfect as well. The truth is nothing is perfect no matter how hard we try there’s no perfect marriage, there’s no perfect way to parent, there is not way to make ourselves perfect. That’s why we should never try to make ourselves perfect according to human beings standards. Imperfect cannot produce anything perfect. The only person who is perfect is Christ.

Imperfections are limitations. God is aware of our limitations. God is limitless and He can empower our limitations if we allow Him to. God knows what’s right with us and He can use us. So we should not come down on ourselves but not use our imperfections as an excuse either. God can use us regardless of our imperfections. Moses had the best of everything accept for himself. We know Moses story and God still used him to get His glory. When I speak of Moses it’s as an example of his life I’m fully aware that we are under the law of Christ. The point of this post is about us being imperfect yet God can still use us. Thankful for being under the law of Christ the sad part is there still people who judge others as if we are not under Christ’s law. This is what I mean about people that look for imperfection in others. Thank you Christ Jesus for loving us in spite of our imperfections. Knowing all of this give yourself a peep talk and claim this season as one with no limits. Christ loves us all in spite of our imperfections.

Blessings to My Son

Anthony

Sooooooooooo thankful that God
Gave you to me
I have been blessed
With many things
But you and your brother
Mean so much to me
Much joy to my heart
Is what you both bring
Everyday I look forward
To happily
I celebrate you both
For you guys are
A huge blessing
You inspire me
To push myself
Harder than I
Could ever dream
Here’s to your day
Happy Birthday Baby
I love you
For you are my
Everything! ! ! ! ! !

Happy Veterans Day

Thank  you for choosing to serve

For our country

It’s something that  I

Do not take lightly

Because of your choice

Freedom continues to ring

That means everything

You are a blessing

Coast Guard

Marine Corps

Air Force

Army

Navy

Different branches of the same tree

Our awesome military

You choose to serve knowing

What was at stake

Did not hesitate

You are the reason why

America is great

What you did goes beyond

Being recognized for one day

You made sacrifices everyday

Next to your life

Your family

Who loves you

They made sacrifices

Being away for many months and years

Far way

Relying on phone calls and letters

To help make the situation better

For all of those reasons alone

I just want to thank

Each and every one of you

veterans-day-word-cloud

Trusting the Process

I’d be lying if I said that certain things didn’t make me wonder what God was doing. There has been times when I wasn’t sure whether I was going or coming. But I remembered all the times when God brought me through. I’m trusting God so I have no choice but to trust the process. Everything that God allows us to go through serves a process and we become better because of it.

So I have allowed myself not to be bitter but better and to be silent while I listen to God’s still voice. Learning not to be sad but glad there’s no room for worry. Praying for everyone who has hurt me and let my children down as well as comfort too. I think the best way to be successful in understanding the process is disowning the things that man may try to tell you about yourself. God opinion is the only one that holds the most value.

Lord I know what You told me so I trust You through it all no matter what happens or how things looks like. I know that everything will be alright. Lord I know that You know what is best for my life I know because I can feel what is to come. Lord you show us things everyday which are signs of what’s to come the sunset is a sign of night approaching and cloudy skies is a sign of a storm. On the flip side a sunrise is sign of a new day. A storm comes to an end and so we see a rainbow. Lord I love You and I know that You will see me through just like You always do.

The Letter

My life keeps getting more and more interesting every minute. I’m a massive fan of the movie Immortal Beloved it’s about the life of Beethoven. There are so many parts of the film I love the actor Gary Oldman did a fantastic job. Gary Oldman brought the movie to life he’s a brilliant actor underrated for sure. This movie came out in 1994, perhaps my top favorite thing besides the music was a letter that Beethoven wrote to the woman that he truly loved. Ahhhhh yes I love the words “ever thine ever mine ours”  words from a great man ever. I know what you are thinking what is Tameeka talking about now? I’ll be getting to that in a minute. My ex and I are like opposites it’s the truth. I don’t hate him; I look back at what we had as a life lesson. It is what it is. The posts that I write are to encourage and inspire somebody. I believe that there is someone somewhere who’s going through what I am going through. Anyway back on topic.

It’s incredible when you are trying to move on things from the past fall out of nowhere. I found a letter written by my ex from five years ago. That’s right five years ago. I think the purpose of the letter could be for closure. It wasn’t about the letter being from him it was about what was in it. He wrote me many different letters it’s weird that this one suddenly appears. Out of all the letters written why this one I have moved from one address to another and this letter pops up. The letter had several different questions, so I assume that perhaps these are unanswered questions that he may have. I will answer the questions in this post it’s not like he’ll ever read it anyway it’s all about healing. Healing is a great thing.

When my ex ask questions he always wants it done with a “simple yes or no” well things aren’t always that easy.  The paragraph starts with,”Let me ask you these questions because it seems that I am not getting a straight answer from you just answer these questions with a yes or no let’s keep it simple.” Do you still want to be with me? Do you even miss me? Do you love me? Why don’t you ever say that you love me? Do you regret being with me? When my ex got locked up, it made me very angry. I wanted an intact family, and it got destroyed, so I was mad for a long time. When he went away to prison in 2007, I called about the status, and when the lady told me 240 months, I was devastated. My world came crashing down life that I knew had changed. I’m no different from other mothers I wanted the house with the white picketed fence things were ruined in a blink of an eye. At the time I did miss him, it wasn’t about the financial help our sons were growing up without him. He missed out on a massive chunk of our children’s lives so many memories he will never have. Did I love him ever yes I did? I will always have some love for him. Real women are in touch with their feelings, and they keep it 100. It’s amazing how people can’t see how a person loved them. I showed it and told him that too. I never regretted being with my ex; it took him to make our two sons. Our sons are like a replica of us; it’s quite astonishing. I never regretted him, and I never will.

I believe that closure can only happen when things are faced, or we will continue to think about things and reliving situations that have been long over. Being stuck in the past only robs the present, which is a gift. I can’t change what happened, but I have forgiven my ex as well as let go of lots of anger. My ex needs to let go of his anger too because there’s no sense in it. I pray for my ex’s salvation because he doesn’t believe in Christ. I pray that God powerfully touches his heart. For him to have a blessed a life, he has to let go of the anger and the hate it will only poison all of his relationships, including the ones with our children. Taking the same old bricks into a new relationship will only destroy it and I don’t want our children to ever blame themselves. Father God touch my ex’s heart so it will soften and he let’s You in so that You can give him a new start. Lord You know that I mean every word and it’s coming from the heart. Please handle it Father God everything is in Your Hands. I thank You in advance. Amen.

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things passed away; all things are become new.

Bittersweet

I’ve prayed about it

I’ve allowed God to handle it

I’ve made room to forgive

It’s over

It’s finally over

Now I can

Start to experience closure

Trying to describe how

I’m feeling right now

It’s like trying to describe

The taste of water

As I have gotten older

I have realized that

Trying to reflect back on memories

It’s like physically trying to look

Over your shoulder

I’m just not that flexible

I’ve tried my very best

Yet in some cases

Ended up with less

There’s no need to cry over spilled milk

There’s absolutely no sense in it

I’m still blessed regardless

I just look at things as

Life learned lessons

Many things took place

Between you and I

You have no idea

Of how many tears

That I have cried

I really tired

Deep down inside

Apart of me feels like it wants to die

Yet there’s so much

That I would like to forget

I know that you had a purpose

After all we have two great kids

Here I go again

I have to stop this

I have to begin

The healing process

I have to do it

I have strength

It’s weird still

A small part of

This situation I can’t grasp

Am I still in love

Yeah right don’t make me laugh

The way that you act

Your middle name should be

Jackass or dumbass

Because you played a huge part

Of helping to put something that

Could have been special into the past

I won’t blame you totally

I also share responsibility

This ending is bittersweet

I came across a thought

Of you I actually smiled

And I felt a tear roll down my cheek

Yet I’m fine if we never speak

You have to leave

Something behind in order

To go forward

The hardest part of moving on

Is putting the pieces

Of your broken heart back together

And be brave enough to love again

It’s finally the end

It’s a tough pill to swallow

Tough to accept that we didn’t work out

A fresh start isn’t bad

I know that God has my back

So there’s no need to be sad