Advice

Love’s Dog

We all want to feel it
Yet we all fear it
Nobody wants to be love’s dog
Love is so beautiful
Yet it can be so painful
Seems like nobody wants
To love only one person for
All of eternity anymore
Love today
And it’s gone tomorrow
How can something
That was once so amazing
Be over
Nobody wants to be love’s dog
We become acquainted with love
Then somehow gradually let it go
Feelings that were once mutual gone
Days of laughter
Become sorrow
How can two people
Who seems to have the right chemistry
Relationships’ have an unhappy ending
It’s a mystery
Past situations should have taught us
How to endure
To help us to love better
In the future
We want to front on the person
Whom we want our forever with
We refuse to think
Beyond temperamental differences and bad memories
In our quest to love
We must think differently
It’s truly essential
But things can’t take off because
Nobody wants to be love’s dog
From lovely days to
Lonely days
We close the entrances to our hearts
That have been damaged severely
From heartache, broken trust,
And major disappointments
All by the one whom we thought was appointed
To us beyond a belief moment
Nobody wants to be love’s dog
The world today
Sleeps on opportunities
Instead of ceases it
Treating it like a layaway
As if true love waits
And never goes away
We all want a happily ever after
But love’s unpredictability
Can be too much to bare
Nobody wants to be love’s dog

But You’re Still Black

Ummm. Okay. Thank you for confirming what I see in the mirror on a every day basis. It’s a no brainer my mother and father were black not sure about the exact percentage I need to take a heritage DNA test. I get taken back by some black men when they find out I’m into dating outside of my race they always feel the need to remind me of what my race is. Whatever dude.

Some black men need to think of how it comes off when they say “but you’re still black”. As if there’s some invisible obligation clause black women can’t see like sister you’re chained to us for life. Sista you are subjected to being disrespected, a struggling single parent and lots of turmoil remember you are black. It is really frustrating because many black people fought for our rights to be seen as individuals beyond our color. Yes I am black but that’s only a small fraction of who I am. Some black people think really small it’s okay for people to be themselves and Not follow a trend. I used to say that I was different but that’s far from the truth. I am Tameeka simple as that. I am me. The world would be a much better place if people would walk into their chosen purpose without fear. There is freedom in being who God called you to be.

I’m not sentenced to do what people of my race sees fit for me to do. They can call me names like coon and sellout it’s just a control tactic that I won’t fall for. I’m not alone when it comes to these feelings it’s refreshing too. It’s always amazing to me when some black men speak of racism yet treat their own women like dirt. It’s a new day and age people are being true to themselves and dealing with people who celebrate them not tolerate them.

 

 

 

 

 

Why Are You Angry?

There are some black men who are walking around angry and they hate black women. The worst part is some of them call themselves men of God. They claim that they want to help correct black women but that’s highly doubtful. Yes, God corrects people but He does it in love.

I don’t hate black men but when someone speaks on it they get slammed. The black community is chaotic, poverty-stricken, and dysfunctional I’m not sure if the chain will ever be broken.

When I hear a angry black man speak ill of a black woman immediately I wonder why are they so angry. Did they fall off their bike and their mother didn’t kiss their boo-boo? Did a girl who they wanted to go to their first dance with turn them down? Did their first love break their heart? It’s important for us to figure it out because many of them have a vendetta against black women. Many of them feel better by degrading and demeaning black women and it must stop. The only way the anger will stop is if we can all figure out why. I think that it’s because of broken homes after all 72% of black fathers do not reside with their children and 73% of children are born out of wedlock.

I’m not bashing black men but I’m not working for Scooby snacks and empty praises from men who hates us either. I want to know why are they so angry I don’t want any of my beautiful nieces or any of the upcoming beautiful young ladies to experience disrespect from hateful men something has to be done.

Many black men aren’t getting married but have children everywhere women have to play bounty hunter like they are Dog (TV show guy) to get support for their children. The child support payments that women receive most times isn’t enough for a week’s worth of groceries. Quite frankly it’s despicable especially how they blame black women for how they behave it’s all too much. It’s just too much unnecessary drama from hateful and unfaithful men. I don’t know about anyone else but I’m not signing up for struggle love. Which is why I choose not to date them anymore I refuse to go on a scavenger hunt to look for a good black man aka IBM but that’s another post for another day.

I’m just curious about how they can hate black women but love their mom and sisters. Or maybe they just don’t love any black woman at all. It just doesn’t make sense men of the world I expect them to be harsh and cruel but not the men who calls themselves a man of God. I pray that God softens the hearts of hateful men.

Don’t Be A Fool Being A Bully Isn’t Cool

Today I read a very disturbing post an eleven year old girl committed suicide. The little girl was a victim of bullying. Even more heartbreaking about the story was who found her body it was her three year old sister. The little girl who committed suicide saw no way out except for taking her life. Bullies are a huge situation that should not be ignored. Children aren’t the only bullies adults can be too which is actually sadder. There are different types of bullying it’s important that we know what they are so we can spot them.

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Bullying affect people in negative ways it can push people to the point of no return. Children deserve to experience a happy life that’s bully free. I feel sorry for the bullies too hurt people hurt others. Many times bullies feel insecurities inside so they pick on other people. Bullies most times are bigger than their peers physically and have trouble at home.

Society really has things stacked up against parents with the internet, promotion of violence and disrespect of others it’s a lot for parents to monitor. I’m old schooled so the main thing I would tell another parents is to keep a open line of communication with your children. Pay attention to your children so you can notice if they are withdrawn, angry or sad remember children are very scared when it comes to a bullying situation. Parents should talk with their children’s teacher if they sense a problem. Teachers must report any problems to the principal or the dean most importantly inform the parents about everything.

I also touched on adults sometimes being bullies too because it’s the truth many of them use social media to publicly humiliate others. When it comes to adult bullies others should not back what they are doing causing them to stop. Bullies feed of the power off of having an audience and fear. Let’s make this clear one is a fool if they think being a bully is cool. If you are a bully who is an adult you are a even bigger fool… so grow up.

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Let’s pray for people who are being bullied and ask God to protect them from harm. Be a bully nor quietly observing mistreatment of another person is not cool. What if it was you? What would  you do? What would you want to see happen?

Knowing Your Front Row

I was blessed to read this phenomenal book called The Woman Code by Sophia A. Nelson. The last time I read a book for enjoyment was a little over a year ago. The Woman Code gave me life it contains 20 important keys that a woman should apply to her life. I absolutely love the book and recommend it to any woman who’s willing to listen. Sophia is a Christian and used scriptures to support what she wrote in her book.

There was so many things about the book that I loved the main thing was knowing your front row. It’s essential to know your front row it’s what some people like to call a circle not me though. A person knowing their front row makes way more sense. It’s taking a long hard look at the people who are closest to you. The people closest to you that doesn’t live in your home. What kind of people are closest to you? Are they loyal? Are they kind? What kind of faith do they have? Does the people closest match you? People are an important resource. My mother always used to say that no man is an island everybody needs somebody even Christ had twelve disciples.

It’s important to know your front row. I want people who are honest and want the best for me as  I do them. I don’t want yes men or yes women, yes people will lead a person to water and allow them to drown. I don’t want disloyal people because the front row can poison the back rows. People will assume that everything a person says that is closest to you is accurate after all they are close to you. One mistake that I used to make besides being a people pleaser was always trying to recycle relationships with people. In life we have to let some people go especially when their time is up in our lives. Some people are either for a reason so they stay or a season so they go away.

A little bit off topic on the Walking Dead Rick wouldn’t let go of Shane. Shane had slept with his wife and got her pregnant. Shane not only poisoned Rick’s marriage but the people around them. Shane went against Rick the whole way it took Shane trying to kill Rick before he realized that the friendship was over. Sometimes we get stuck in our fantasies about people that we refuse to face the reality. I also believe that we sometimes hold on to people out of fear like will they talk about you. People will talk about you no matter what if anything holding on is giving them more information. We have to learn how to not feed the wrong people information. We have to think like Kenny Rogers got to know when to hold them, fold them and walk away. True facts!!! When a person shows you who they are believe them. When a relationship is over let it go. There’s power in letting go and pain in holding on.

I think that we have to really learn to trust God and listening to that small still voice. God will never leave us nor forsake us He promised this. I’m praying that God gives me discernment to recognize who doesn’t belong in my front row, protection from poisonous people and the strength to let the people go. I don’t want the wrong people in my front row poisoning the back row disturbing my audience.

The “IBM”

So I was watching a very interesting video on YouTube it was about black men who don’t like it when black women swirl. Everyone knows where  I stand on this subject I believe that people should be able to explore their options in peace. It’s about numbers there are not enough black men for every black woman. I don’t know about the other black women but I am not waiting around or going on a scavenger hunt looking for an “IBM”. In case no one knows what IBM means it short for ideal black man. So what is an ideal black man he’s a leader, faithful, honest, loyal….I guess one can throw in his employment, doesn’t have a lot of children, is a great father to the children he does have, educated etc. What made the video interesting is that a black man suggested polygamy as a way to solve the number’s problem and noooooooooo. I don’t know any woman who values herself that would be willing to share a black man…..or any man period.

I don’t hate black men nor do I put them down. I do have a problem with the black men who put black women down. I do believe that black love exists however it’s not for me. I am into various things most of the things black men aren’t if so they are into white women plain and simple. Let’s be real honest for a second most black people have come from broken homes I came from one. I understand that for most people are unstable because they came from dysfunction okay when does it stop? I recognized my issues a long time ago and  I fixed them. Let me give an example when you hear a noise coming from your car don’t you go get it fixed? Okay if a person is broken they need to allow God to fixed them so they don’t go and damage someone else. Anyone who have emotional issues should not get involved with anyone their only pulling someone into their life storm. I’m pulling someone into my peace because life is too short to live any other way.

I guess the reason why  I wrote about this is because I can’t understand why interracial dating is such a huge problem. Growing up I had “One” crush on a black guy I have always been attracted to white men. Anyone who knows me personally know this and  I have dated white men too. Recently I decided that  I am going to do what makes me happy. If I am blessed to see 85 years old  I wanted to have a full life of happiness. The way to be happy is doing things as long as they are within God’s will that make us happy. The only person who we are suppose to live our lives for is God no one else. I pray that people find the one who makes them happy regardless of the person’s color.

It’s Okay

Heeeeeey!! I’m feeling great! Woot Woot! I took a little break and it’s okay. It’s okay to take a break students take spring and summer breaks from school. People take vacations from work. God rested on the seventh day. Taking a break gives a person a chance to relax, rejuvenate, and have a fresh outlook.

When  I started my blog  I was so happy and  I still am. I wanted to take a step back to think about the direction that  I want to take my blog in and well so far so go. I’m proud about the things that  I have shared it’s about helping someone else. I want God to get His glory from my story. It’s not a good look to make things about one’s self.

I will get back into writing again because I love to write. There are so many testimonies that I have witnessed and I can’t wait to write about them. God is so good!! I want to tell the world out the goodness of God!

I hope that everyone is enjoying spring! Remember taking a break is okay it will make you feel great!

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The One

Being single isn’t always a bad thing

We have to be single

In order to have the one

Whom God has for us

An Ephesians husband

A Proverbs 31 wife

While we wait it gives God time

To heal us

To repair us

To prepare us

When God made Adam

He thought to Himself

That a man shouldn’t be alone

So God took one of Adam’s ribs

Not a slab

We have one heart

To love our one true love

That God has for us

Like a test with one blank to fill in

The right one will be the answer

There’s no room for multiple choice

God is not of confusion

The one that God has for us

Is one who we can

Pray to God with

Worship to God with

Helps us to grow closer to

God together

Every conversation is praising God

The one sent by God understands

That God is to be number one

In their lives

In their relationships

In their marriage

It’s essential to be paired with a person

Who is mission-minded

With the same eternal goals

That will keep them in love forever

As we grow on our walk with Christ we

Realize that the past disappointments

Taught us that true love transcends

Beyond temperamental

Experiences and memories

Through our quest to find love we learn

God knows  who’s the right one

Even though at times we

May think that we do

God has the right one

All we have to do

Is continue to remain

Patient in the Lord

God wants to send the right one

So we won’t spend our lives searching

But spend it with the one we love

 

 

Being A Great Dad

Growing up in a broken home

Taught me that parenting

Should not be done alone

Indeed we have our heavenly Father

He also gives us rules to follow

That we all should honor

A mother is to nurture her children

Instill compassion in her children

Teach them brilliant cooking skills

A mother plants amazing feelings

Into her children so that they take root

A father gives his children advice

Teaches his children how to ride a bike

Teaches his children how to drive

How a man treats a lady

He leads by example

He’s his children protector whether

Or not he and the mother are together

A mother’s and a father’s love for

Their children should always be equal

Too many are trying to minimize

A father’s unique contributions

As if it means nothing at all

These kinds of attitudes are part

Of the black community’s problem

I know men who are good fathers

Who have had the worse life experiences

I’m talking horrendous

Yet they don’t use them as crutches

Are there petty mothers

Who for no good reasons stops

The children’s fathers from having

A relationship with their kids

Yes and those situations I don’t accept

But let’s be honest those kinds of

Situations are rare

How about the fathers who makes

The choice to neglect

Having a relationship with their children

Those kind of fathers

Don’t deserve any respect

Once  a person becomes a parent

A mission must be made to make sure

That their children have

The absolute best

A parent’s love should always be felt

Even when they aren’t present

Children should never ever feel

As if they never received enough love

There’s nothing that hurts worse

Then to feel rejected by

Your very own parent

Why should a child have to learn

How to become immune to hurt

It’s the same old tune

We are living in a society

With people who are self absorbed

Classic narcissistic behavior

Some of these fathers who aren’t good

Align themselves with

A bunch of yes men

Ones who agree with everything

Whether they are right or wrong

Bobble heads who are afraid

To stand up or challenge

Newsflash they are not true friends

Sick of some of these dead beat

Fathers crying about children support

When you didn’t do right on your own

So mothers had to turn

To the government for assistance

It’s your fault that you fathers

Have to pay it

Some of your fathers words

Ain’t worth nothing

Never consistent

No wonder why you have bad credit

Constantly trying to make

A mother feel bad for asking for help

Dude we didn’t make these

Children by ourselves

If you can’t be a good father

Do us all a favor

And get yourself fixed

So over these good for nothing fathers

Who’s always coming up with excuses

Like a student sitting in

The principal’s office

Offering a reason for skipping

How about this don’t just be a father

Be a dad

That’s called being a man

A sign of great parenting

Is not having children

Who becomes estranged from you

The moment they reach 18

All behind past things that happened

In which they are still hurting

Having a blessed relationship

With our children until we are old

Should be every parent’s

Ultimate goal

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We Are Beautiful

Recently everywhere I turn

I see men of different races

Including my very own

Making it seem like

Black women are the least desirable

Men like Chris Rock and

Steve Harvey speaking about

The kinds of men who love us

I can’t take it anymore

Our black is beautiful

Every day many of us struggle

With situations that

We should not have to endure alone

We are mothers

Who are also filling in as

The role of father

This situation has gotten old

The worse part is when we

Are made to feel like

We are somehow responsible

For receiving the hurt

That we don’t deserve

It’s so absurd

One of the stupidest things

That  I have ever heard

There’s a 72% percentage

Of absentee fathers

Look at the numbers

These men choose

To not be bothered

It doesn’t take a math whiz

Or a rocket scientist

Last time  I checked

It takes a man and a woman

To make a baby

Is there any other ways

I’ll wait

Lord knows that  I am a Christian

I always turn the other cheek constantly

Most black women are forgiving

About the situations that helps

Many of us to feel incomplete

Dealing with things like certain men

Who are filled with deceit that cheat

Lacking the understanding as to

Why some men would rather mistreat

Good women in a heartbeat

As if it would kill them to

Commit faithfully

In spite of black women circumstances

Defeat is not a part of our vocabulary

We always push ourselves hard

Like a star athlete

There’s a lot more to us

Than what people think

I’m telling  you right now

On us don’t sleep

We are constantly striving and evolving

Every word that  I speak

Is concrete

I can produce receipts

Say what  you want about me

Turn up the heat

I will not surrender or retreat

Can’t continue to listen

To all of the bull

Like how some of the wounds

Of black women

Are self-inflicted

I just don’t understand it

I do know that black women

Are over being taken for granted

As well as being blamed for this

Got me like

Alanis Morrissette

Isn’t it ironic

Don’t you think

Some black men

Speak of wanting black women

To hold them down

When they have nothing

Yet when some of them get on

Their feet

They treat their women and

Very own children

Like pot holes in a street

Then have the nerve

To question why we are angry

Really?

Please

Spare me

After awhile all of this becomes

So annoying

Some of you have no concept

Of loyalty

As long as black women

Are going along with the program

Everything is hunky-dory

However once we wake up

And stand up things are

A different story

Oh and don’t get me

Talking about the subject of dating

Black men was the first to

Put cream in their coffee

This is after slavery

At least that’s what mother

Used to tell me

May her beautiful soul

Rest in peace

If black women

Date outside of their race

Immediately we are accused

Of self-hate

In addition making it seem

As if men of other races

See us as mere fetishes

Like we are nothing

More than sex objects

I’m so sick of the disrespect

When will you guys open your eyes

And realize that

When our community is hurting

No one benefits

And no wins

Because we all suffer in the end

Things comes back in a full spin

I won’t stop talking about this

It’s a promise

Like Mc Hammer

I’m too legit to quit

Refusing to conform

To what seems to be the norm

Because it’s awful

Black women we deserve love

Beyond measure

We are a treasure

Keep in mind that love has no color

This mindset opens up our options more

Always remember this number

One thing and that is our value

Is not found in negative

People’s words

Black women are powerful

Even when we stand alone

We are so strong

Black women we are beautiful