I Just Don’t Know How to Feel

I feel like the U2 song called Numb
I have a bland demeanor
I just don’t know how to feel
I wrote a post
The other day
Was it God preparing me
I spoke about
The importance of being healthy
Then boom one of my sisters
That is second to me in my family
Became sickly
My sister and I
Have very different personalities
We are not any different
Than any other siblings
She would push me
To the point where
I would scream
Then things would really get ugly
The next thing you know
We stop speaking
To each other
This last time was unique
Because when I spoke
Back to my sister
She had a surgery
That changed everything
It brought on an
Illness that made her so weak
That it robbed
Her of her speech and mobility
My sister told me
That she had a vision
Of all of her sisters
When we were young
In the backyard playing
Then she gave me an apology
She said I’m sorry
That I have been so mean
I love you with all of my heart
Then she started crying
And asked God
Why are You punishing me?
I think about Christianity
Christians are still
Human beings
Is it right
For us to except
People being mean?
I always try
To be forgiving
I feel so torn
Do I stand up
And demand respect
For all the times
She made me upset
Or do I allow
This situation to teach me
To not waste time
On stupid things
Because time is the most
Valuable thing that you can
Share with someone
That you love deeply
I love my sisters
So much I just
Want us to live to be elderly
I just want us to live carefree
I just want us to be happy
Father God in Heaven
Please allow my prayers
To be
My heart can’t take
Anymore agony

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Eyes Wide Open

I’ve been so meaning to write about this for over a week now. I am not into celebrity news but I have written about Ciara a couple of times. Ciara changed her choice of men and found her prince.

In the past Ciara dated rappers Future and Slim Thug. Recently Slim Thug accused Ciara of marrying the Seahawk’s quarterback Russell Wilson for financial stability. This goes right back to my post from yesterday about how some black men waste good years on things that doesnt matter. Slim Thug further went on to call Russell Wilson “corny”. To guys like Slim Thug being a Christian, a one woman’s man and responsible is corny. This proves what I have being saying all along about the shortage of quality black men.

Slim Thug also said that women who date bad boys can’t date good guys. How much sense does that make? Remember the saying about kissing toads until finding a prince, making wrong turns before making a right one or experience is the best teacher. We are not our past some people refuse to allow people to be happy. Another thing what are bad boys about? So because they don’t want to change the women who date them doesn’t deserve better? Is he saying that bad guys aren’t about anything or that they can’t change? Many questions can come from what Slim Thug is saying and they aren’t good ones. Words are like a boomerang when you throw them at others they come back.

As we get older we realize what’s important and what’s not. Sadly some people never get it and they never mature. I love Ciara response to all of her haters and butt hurt exes:
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Being cool isn’t having children all over the place that are not receiving hands on parenting, sleeping around, or hanging out in the streets wasting time.

There are some people who don’t want to change for the better and get jealous of the people who do. These same people will attempt to instill fear into others or destroy their happiness. They have wasted so much time until they don’t have a enough to make up for what’s lost. Life is too short to be in struggle love or poverty. There is more to life and it isn’t just heartbreak or paying for poor choices. When we learn from our mistakes our growth is our reward and we reap a harvest that is plentiful. The people who don’t want to learn this life lesson are just plain pitiful.
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Your Best You

What works for us may not work for someone else however we need to make sure that we don’t hold ourselves back.

Yesterday I saw so many things that had me thinking about how some people aren’t ready to give themselves the best. We have to stay away from people who deprive themselves and want starve us of our dreams as well.

Most of my life I have had a battle with my weight. Recently I started the Keto Diet and I have been making excellent progress. I’ve lost tons of weight several times in my life so I know the struggle. Anyway I put a picture on Facebook of myself and seconds later I saw a post in my Newsfeed pertaining to Christians who are vain. I hardly ever upload pictures but this lady is overweight. She may attempt to call me vain but she may have a problem with jealousy.

It is said that a picture speaks a thousand words well I beg to differ. My picture is of a woman who has had a battle with weight and a mother who had the battle as well. My mother died of cancer in 1997 and she was overweight. The doctors told me that if my mother had of been slimmer they could have helped her to live longer. The fact is our health is our wealth. We can’t do anything without having good health.

I remember when a lady on YouTube spoke of black women getting their health together and some women got upset but she was right!! In the black community black men tell black women to stay thick the problem is what people think is thick. Newflash thick isn’t obesity. Obesity is the leading cause of certain illnesses like diabetes and high blood pressure.

We should be our best selves. When we are at our best the best harvest is received. Healthy people most times live longer.

I’ve come to realize that most times people aren’t ready to hear the truth even if it’s something that can help them too. Why wouldn’t we want to be the best us?

I remember watching old contestants from world biggest losers and they shared how their perfect weight wasn’t always the recommended weight. They were healthy at a weight that was best for them.

Over the years we have heard about being comfortable with ourselves and that’s a great mindset as long as we are healthy.

I have acid reflux and when I’m overweight I pay for it dearly. I would never put a person down about their weight. I’ve been slim and overweight so I understand the struggle. I only want to inspire and uplifted others. Our lives are not just our own. I have two sons depending on me and I want to be here for them.

Yes! I’m a Christian and we believe that our bodies are temporary however we still need to be healthy. We take care of our houses and cars. Why not our bodies as well?

Depression

I have always been a huge fan of Linkin Park. Today is Chris Cornell’s birthday and it’s also the day that Chester Bennington passed away.

Chester was a close friend of Chris Cornell’s he sang at his funeral. Apparently the death of Chris hurt him deeply and so he became depressed.

It doesn’t matter who you are depression can happen to anyone. I am praying for anyone who may be battling depression. Depression is a tough battle that seems like it is never-ending.

Praying for Chris Cornell’s and Chester Bennington’s family.

May Chris and Chester rest in peace.

What’s Really the Problem?

Not too long ago I wrote about a post that a white woman wrote addressing black people. She questioned why some black people had an issue when one or the other dates outside of the race. It was definitely crazy how she pointed that out.

The Justin McClure’s situation has gotten crazy and nerve racking. Like leave that man in peace to love his family. It’s sickening how some of the people from the black community are behaving. I question what’s really the issue. To be honest the only people that he needs to answer to is his family.

I’m not giving up on hope for some black women they will come around eventually. I can’t name all of the things that my mother used to tell me and now I see what she meant. We have to extend the same courtesy to others because none us woke up and just got something. A lot of the reasons why we make the choices that we make is because something influenced it. Most people ask for advice for a reason whether they choose to accept it is another.

Why do some black people take delight in other people’s pain? It’s disgusting because it’s only exposing how people truly are. Waiting to be able to say I knew that they wasn’t perfect. Well who told you to put a human being on a pedestal so high done with the hopes that they will fall. Just so you can talk about it. Blackheartedness that is plain ugly. Vengeful spirited people scare me because they obsess about destroying a person. They don’t stop until their vengeance is fulfilled. And do you know what’s even more scary how hungry that they are about making it happen. Literally starving almost foaming at the mouth like a ravage dog. Instead of putting that kind of energy into leading a productive life. Some people are so freaking spiteful.

My mother used to say that some black people are like crabs in a basket. Crabs in a basket means a syndrome where a group of like situated people hurt those in their community attempting to get ahead. Often this is applied to people in an impoverished community where one person is starting to get ahead. The collective community becomes jealous or filled with a sense of self-loathing, so they find a way to pull that person back down to the community’s level.
When harvesting crab, the crab as a group will pull down any crab that starts to climb out of the barrel in an attempt to be the first out of the barrel that holds them in, hence crabs-in-a-barrel.

My mother dated only black men she wasn’t a swirler but she was a truth teller. She was born in the 50s so she witnessed a lot of stuff pertaining to some black people. Is that the problem? Some black people have a crab in a basket syndrome? If that is not the case then quit going after other people’s happiness as if you are on a witchhunt. Level up in the spirit regardless of your beliefs that way you’ll learn to be in competition with yourself and not obsess about destroying others.

I’m Not For Racism

I’m not for racism but I can’t stand hypocrisy either. Stupidity doesn’t work well for me. I have said this time and time again I hate the “N” word, no one should use it regardless of their race!

Yes. The CEO of Papa John’s was wrong along with everyone who uses racial slurs no one is better than a anyone else. Some black people use the “N” word but get up in an uproar when someone from another race uses it. What’s the difference? Can someone please explain this to me? I read a post from a person stating that they didn’t feel sorry for the CEO of Papa John’s that they don’t feel sorry for racists. Yet this person has never corrected the black people who uses the word. The person only talked about the “racist white people” who uses it. Well let me ask something is a black person who uses the “N” word racist? One needs to be careful about the reasons why it’s okay for black people to be able to use that word.

The definition of the “N” word is Slang: Extremely Disparaging and Offensive.
a contemptuous term used to refer to a black person.
a contemptuous term used to refer to a member of any dark-skinned people.

This is why I speak of the dysfunction within the black community some thinks it’s okay to use the “N” like they get a free pass. If this word is so offensive why is it okay for anyone to use it? I have some people who want to bully me because of my mentality it’s okay with me because I don’t take them seriously.

I get tired of all the foolishness that I see. Every time a white person gets caught saying a racial slur “it’s see I told you” but they don’t correct the black people who say it. I believe and I could be wrong but some people love to choose battles that are easy. Some black people know if they complain enough companies will fire people and apologize immediately. They won’t say anything to the black people who use the “N” because they may use it themselves or the feel that they are justified to use it.

Some people have a bullying spirit they are ready to jump on those who they can intimidate. Just like how some of these black men be on the internet calling black women names and talking about how they are. Some of these black men claim to care about the community but they don’t say a word to black men. The last time I checked the black community consisted of more than just the women. And no I’m not getting off track I’m talking about the hypocrisy that goes on.

When some black people get upset about another race using the “N” word and not their own. Isn’t that calling the kettle black? Come on now!!! People are good at holding up a mirror up at other people but would rather drop it and chance getting cut by glass before they are willing to face themselves.

Quite Pathetic

Whether it’s on the television, the internet, or social media I always come across something that grinds my gears. Something that gets so much under my skin that I just cannot stand it.

Remember the saying sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me? Well, it’s true but only to a certain extent. The way that this world is set up evil people aka weak people use the internet in a attempt to publicly humiliated others. I remember when I wrote a post about this matter saying that I know why a person is saying mean things about me but why are people who don’t know me buying it? Our enemies most times are formal so-called friends and estranged family members. I just didn’t get it but then I thought some people just want to believe the worse when it comes to certain people.

Back on the subject I saw a negative post stating that some people aren’t as smart as they seem to be they are just good at copying and pasting stuff. Now this person who wrote this should learn how to copy and paste a positive attitude.

It’s sad that people would rather believe that a person is less talented or isn’t very smart just to make themselves feel better. Sometimes I share YouTube videos or reblogs, besides that my writings are of my ideas.