Why Do We Do It?

I will never understand how come some black women can quickly turn on one another. It’s a shame. Yesterday I read a post by one of my facebook friends saying that her son’s friends don’t dated black women because we have attitudes amongst other not so pleasant things that I do not care to repeat. She posted about it, so it has me wondering. In my mind, messengers have motives, what was her motive? An excuse for why it’s all right for black men to date non-black women. I’ve said this before, and I’ll repeat it. I could give a hill of beans about who date who it’s the double standards that I can’t stand. People will come for me but will ignore the facts that I have to back up what I say. I will not be a product of tribal shaming. I will not go into silence.

Any insults that happen to me are just ways to silence me, and why is that? As long as I go along with the program, it’s all good. As long as I get in line, it’s all good. Welp. I am not a Kindergartner. I won’t get treated like a child. I’m all for people living their lives, therefore, allow me to live mine! Don’t pick and choose who should get attacked and who doesn’t think that’s a bully’s mentality. The attacking of others with the hope of isolating them from others I can’t get with. I am making people feel like they are unworthy of a better life according to someone else’s standards. When a person speaks the truth, the people who don’t want to receive it quickly label it as being negative. Everything that I named is silencing tactics, and I won’t stand for it. Bullies attempt to bully those who they feel are weaker than them. I serve only one God I sure as heck won’t deal with humans trying to play God in my life. If people don’t like what I have to write, don’t read my blog leave me be (let me live my life) just like how you guys allow men like Nick Cannon to do so.

Black women get trashed by their fellow sisters but did Nick Cannon get trashed? Nope, He wasn’t. Nick Cannon spoke of how dating white women is the ultimate status symbol. Uh huh!!! What will be said about this? The most that will be said about Nick Cannon is that he is “cornball” and that is at a minimum. So far, I have not seen any attacks on Nick Cannon. There will not be any attacking campaigns on Nick Cannon, trust me on this one. A person like me can be, and a person like me is picked apart, and I can’t take people who have double standards seriously. I’ve been attacked mostly by black women, and I don’t care. It’s understood that a made up mind can’t be changed; however, that can make a person narrow-minded. I, for one, refuse to continue to turn a blinded eye to this kind of situations. I am glad that more and more black men like Nick Cannon are showing who they truly are maybe then people will begin to see the truth.

That Girl Is Poison

That girl is poison and I don’t mean it in a Bell Biv Devoe kind of way! Some people are just pain out poisonous they spread their venomous negativity everywhere.

Now everyone knows that I believe in judging people as individuals. Men too can be guilty of gossiping, backbiting, and being mean, sadly many women are known for doing these kinds of things.

I’ve said it before and I’ll it again, “Messengers have motives!” Beware of girls like these because they are not women. Grown women don’t find pleasure in hurting others. The closer the person is to the people that they are speaking against shows just how dangerous that they are. It’s best to stay away from these negative beings or they will rip you apart:

They have no positive feelings
I feel sorry for people like you
You feed off of negative vibes
Because you need them to survive
Spending most of your time
Coming up with ways
To make others feel bad
In order to make yourself feel
Good think about it
If bring up a person’s worst
Makes you feel at your best
Then what does that
Say about yourself
You enjoy stealing others’ thunder
By throwing them under a bus
Man negative beings
Are dangerous
You like to rattle people’s cages
Rain on other’s parade
Pull rank on somebody
The thing is you
Don’t know where
To draw the line
So you have no loyalty
To nobody
Soon you won’t
Have anybody
You will feel others pain
Your negative thinking
Has no power over me
It all means nothing
Therefore I am not bothered
By your negativity
So grab up a chair
At your buffet of hate
All you can eat
But your poison
Will not defeat me
With my positive thinking
I cannot be beat
Even in your wildest dreams
So give it your best
Meanwhile I am going
To have Van Gogh’s ear for music
All the ill words that blows
From you don’t you
Understand that karma
Will eventually find you
I suggest that you change
Your wicked behavior and
Stop giving in
Willingly to the devil
Don’t let it take
You reaping what you
Have sown
In order for you
To grow up

My Weight Loss Journey

I finally feel comfortable talking about my weight loss journey. There is nothing sexy about obesity, as a matter of fact it’s a life-threatening situation.

Most of the people on my mother’s side of the family has an issue with weight so genetics plays a role in my struggle. A few years ago I lost 170 pounds. Yes. You heard right. I did not have weight loss surgery. I lost the weight by walking and watching what I ate.

I am a emotional eater. Emotional eating is done in order to deal with negative situations. Unfortunately,I ended up gaining a lot of my weight back. I tried being a vegan but that didn’t work. Every diet or lifestyle isn’t for everyone which is why there are so many different diets.

Recently, I discovered the ketogenic diet and it has changed my life completely! I am getting closer to the weight that I was when I first lost all the weight the last time. Thank You Father God! Yes, I love who I am on the inside but the outside matters as well. There is nothing cute about being a fat girl!
180829_163537_COLLAGE-1
I will definitely be blogging more about my weight loss journey. When we make our minds up about a goal anything is possible! I am beyond the moon proud of my body transformation. Now I am back to being in a really happy place again.

What a Joke

Recently, I lost a Facebook friend of five years over a post that I reposted. In a time where people should be tolerant of other people’s thoughts, many are not. The post was about a testimony of a Facebook friend of mine who says that she was delivered from homosexuality. This lady’s story is amazing her life has completely changed. Anyway, the Facebook friend that I lost doesn’t believe that people can be delivered from homosexuality and that’s her right. After all, she is bisexual which is the reason why she was so hot under the collar about the post.

The person who claims that people should be free to love who they choose apparently doesn’t feel it applies to people’s beliefs. Ahhhh, the hypocrisy!!! I am not bashing this formal facebook friend because there are a lot of people like this person.

This is what I have come to believe about this formal Facebook friend if she accepted that people can be delivered from homosexuality it would mean that she would be admitting that what she is doing is wrong. She would be admitting that God is real and she would have to answer to someone other than herself. Which is why people don’t want to have a belief because they act like a bunch of out of control teenagers. I just turned 18 and ain’t nobody telling me what to do. Not even God! No one wants to believe that they are wrong. It just amazes me that the people who claim that people should be free from the bondage of religion can be the most hypocritical. We really have to watch out for people who are lovers of themselves because they will cross you quickly without a second thought.

I respect what others believe but I do wish that they would respect other’s beliefs. I am open-minded about other people’s thoughts. No one is above learning from someone else as long as they are opened to what others have to say. There are stories in the Bible about non-believers too Not just believers only. Heck, God used a donkey to reach people. Most people who don’t believe in anything are mean and very wicked people. These people are so angry with God and that’s okay…God loves you anyway. Yes, as much as a nonbeliever hates God, He still loves them.

Whose Philosophy was Better?

I had an amazing conversation with one of my friends who is white. He is really concerned about the frequency of hate that is going on. I assured him that everything would be okay because things will be. He asked a interesting question it was whose philosophy did I agree with the most Martin Luther King Jr. or Malcolm X? I respect Malcolm X but I choose Martin Luther King Jr. it’s all about peace and love. The way that I think isn’t received well by some of the people of my race however there are some black people who think the same way as I do. A lot of the way that I think comes from the way that I was raised and my education too.

First off what happened in Charlottesville, Virginia was absolutely terrible everyone at least agrees on that. From my understanding the protest that was took place was pertaining to a confederate statue being removed forgive me if I am wrong. I have already written my views on the confederate flag. There are people who view the confederate flag as their heritage both blacks and whites. No,I do Not support hate I find it repulsive however everyone has the right to exercise their first amendment rights. Problems arise when things become violent which is never good.

Here’s the thing yes slavery took place and there was segregation years ago. Even though my mother grew up during the time of segregation; she was not racist. My mother did not raise me to hate anyone but to love everyone. I once went for classes to be able to volunteer at the YWCA one thing that stuck out during the classes was meeting people where they are. Positive things can happen when we meet people where they are. There are people my age bring up slavery and segregation we never encounter that; our ancestors did. There are white people my age and younger who feel like there have to pay for what their ancestors did. I will never forget how one of my Facebook friends apologized for what her ancestors did; it was heartbreaking. No one should have to feel like they have to pay for a debt of someone else’s wrongdoings, ancestors or not.

It is time for our country to start healing together. All white people aren’t racist. All black people aren’t criminals. Healing cannot be done if salt continues to be applied to a wound. When we cut ourselves from a fall or a paper cut the body immediately begins the healing process. I have two sons and I want them to live in a world that is better than what’s going on now. Going into the past doesn’t solve anything if nothing positive is being done about it. Answering hate with hate does not solve anything. As the great Martin Luther King Jr. once said “Darkness cannot drive out darkness;only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

The Human Race

Bigotry doesn’t make any sense to me
What can I say
Other than I oppose hate
But answering hate with hate is a mistake
What can I say
What can I do
People get killed when
They protest peaceful
Let’s not forget
Heather Heyer bloodshed is not worth it
This wicked world needs more love
I follow my Heavenly Father
So with hate I do not bother
I pray
I refuse to add to the hate
Charlottesville Virginia
Boycotting the NFL
Not standing for the Star Spangled Banner
Black Lives Matter, Black Panthers,
KKK, skinheads and secret racists
All work together
At keeping the division going
Every last one of the people
In the groups I just named
Think that they are doing
What is right
If more people would search
For ways to minus the hate
Instead of reasons to keep it going
The world would be a better place
By understanding one another’s pain
By healing one another
By respecting one another
Sure let’s stand against racism
By standing with our
Brothers and sisters of all colors
Let’s band together like a rainbow
A single race can’t do it alone
Unity gets things done
So let’s love and live as one
One love
One race
The Human Race

Why Are You Angry?

There are some black men who are walking around angry and they hate black women. The worst part is some of them call themselves men of God. They claim that they want to help correct black women but that’s highly doubtful. Yes, God corrects people but He does it in love.

I don’t hate black men but when someone speaks on it they get slammed. The black community is chaotic, poverty-stricken, and dysfunctional I’m not sure if the chain will ever be broken.

When I hear a angry black man speak ill of a black woman immediately I wonder why are they so angry. Did they fall off their bike and their mother didn’t kiss their boo-boo? Did a girl who they wanted to go to their first dance with turn them down? Did their first love break their heart? It’s important for us to figure it out because many of them have a vendetta against black women. Many of them feel better by degrading and demeaning black women and it must stop. The only way the anger will stop is if we can all figure out why. I think that it’s because of broken homes after all 72% of black fathers do not reside with their children and 73% of children are born out of wedlock.

I’m not bashing black men but I’m not working for Scooby snacks and empty praises from men who hates us either. I want to know why are they so angry I don’t want any of my beautiful nieces or any of the upcoming beautiful young ladies to experience disrespect from hateful men something has to be done.

Many black men aren’t getting married but have children everywhere women have to play bounty hunter like they are Dog (TV show guy) to get support for their children. The child support payments that women receive most times isn’t enough for a week’s worth of groceries. Quite frankly it’s despicable especially how they blame black women for how they behave it’s all too much. It’s just too much unnecessary drama from hateful and unfaithful men. I don’t know about anyone else but I’m not signing up for struggle love. Which is why I choose not to date them anymore I refuse to go on a scavenger hunt to look for a good black man aka IBM but that’s another post for another day.

I’m just curious about how they can hate black women but love their mom and sisters. Or maybe they just don’t love any black woman at all. It just doesn’t make sense men of the world I expect them to be harsh and cruel but not the men who calls themselves a man of God. I pray that God softens the hearts of hateful men.

Seeing the Gold

The internet can be a crazy place. We see true stuff, fake news as Trump calls it and lots of added on stuff. The internet can be a world filled with gossip. Recently I wrote about reading a book called The Woman Code in it the author of the book ninth code was Do not gossip. The Bible talks about gossip a lot one doesn’t have to be a Christian to realize how badly gossip can affect a person’s life. I know that I don’t want to gossip or indulge in it either. I wouldn’t like to be lied on. Gossip causes a lot of damage most of it cannot be undone. Proverbs 16:28 A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.

Let’s think about it what are some reasons why men and women gossip about a person or people? Let’s be honest most times gossip are lies. I mean why else would the person who’s spreading the gossip tell a person not to tell anyone? Why won’t the person who’s doing the gossiping tell the person whom they are gossiping about directly? Hmmmmm….sounds suspect to me and I’m not Lieutenant Columbo. “One more thing sir…”

Angry people use the internet to publicly humiliate others they are nothing more than keyboard gangsters who hides behind the screen…a bunch of trolls who belong under a bridge in some land far far away. Yeah I said it! They don’t have any facts but lots of lies. So if you talk behind a fool one will sound like one.

We all should know better than to take anything on the internet as facts. Right now I am taking a Statistic course. Last week I turned in an assignment and had points deducted from me because she said that  I needed to support my work with facts…..allow that to sink in. I have had people tell lies about me I knew why they were angry with me some still are. Once people stop talking to you they start talking about you. Our enemies are nothing more than estranged family members, formal associates,or formal friends. Think about it if a person is no longer speaking to another person anymore how true is their information. Example if a person is still gossiping about someone after a long period of time and have not been in contact with the person how accurate are their words? Why would a person continue to gossip about a someone whom they no longer speak to? Just something to think about.

I always try to be Christ like and try to put myself in other people’s shoes. If  I were to see something on the internet about someone  I would question the person who wrote it. Gossip is something that an angry person does so I would wonder why they are doing that. Not everything we read or find on the internet is true. Beyonce went to dinner last night now her photo has been made into a meme already no telling what they say. People make up memes, create rumors, and twist things around to cause division, turn people against each other,and fuel hate. People who gossip about someone else does it in hopes of hurting the people whom they are talking about and isolating them from others by attempting to turn people off from that person. As a Christian I pray for discernment I don’t want to share or spread lies about a person on social media otherwise I would have to question my character as well as why would  I want to put faith in angry words.

When we assassinate the character of others we inescapably annihilate our own in the process. We become no better than whatever we’re saying about another. The soul is better fed with words that speak life and hope.

I don’t know about anyone else but I’d rather be a peacemaker I don’t want to play a role in causing the flames of gossip to grow higher I rather put them out. Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

My Name Is Gossip.
I have no respect for justice.
I maim without killing.
I break hearts and ruin lives.
I am cunning and malicious and gather strength with age.

The more I am quoted the more I am believed.
I flourish at every level of society.
My victims are helpless.
They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name and no face.

To track me down is impossible.
The harder you try, the more elusive I become.
I am nobody’s friend.
Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same.
I topple governments and ruin marriages.
I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartache and indigestion.
I spawn suspicion and generate grief.

I make innocent people cry in their pillows.
Even my name hisses.

I AM CALLED GOSSIP.

Father God help me to have control over my words and to see the gold in others.

Proverbs 11:27

27 He that diligently seeketh good procureth favour: but he that seeketh mischief, it shall come unto him.

No one Deserves To Die

Many times I get slammed for my views on various situations and I am fine with that everyone can’t take the heat…. I can though. Just call me Onyx slam me all you want duh duh duh duh duh duh. On a serious note the media again has fueled another story up and has caused a stir between the races. There is already so much tension this just added more to it. Now let me start by saying that the Philando Castile shooting was in no way justified and neither was the shooting of the innocent Dallas police officers. It’s all wrong. It’s not about race but people try to make it about that every time perhaps sometimes it maybe but Not all of the time.

With my background as a Christian and education in Paralegal studies I base my judgement on a case to case basis. There are some people who are walking around with hate in their hearts towards cops, towards black people, towards white people, towards asian people, towards latinos etc etc. And don’t give me the I don’t care about black people or self hatred speech neither are true. I am a black woman who is the mother of two sons. Look I know who I am. I love all people and no one has the right to cut another person’s life short.

I get the frustration that everyone has but we must not lose our heads. Now I watched the video of the Philando Castile shooting it was heartbreaking the officer sounded like he was panicking. He pulled the trigger way too quickly. Now I know some police officers and they are good yeah I said it.  They are people too who are doing a hard job and the job isn’t a popular one. There are some good police officers anyway I would ask them questions and one thing that they all have said to me a police officer only has a split second to make a decision. A police officer’s goal is to get back home to their families every night. Do you know the things that they see everyday? The things that a police officer sees can mess them up and then they have to remain in control. I don’t know what happened in Dallas exactly but I bet that the snipers who gunned the police officers down used the Philando Castile shooting as an excuse. Which is wrong. Some people wants to say how much they hate the police but they’re the first ones that people call when there’s a problem.

There are good people in every race. There are bad people in every race. It’s time for us all to understand the difference. Some people wants to have a reason to be angry and sorry I’m not one of those people. Facebook is off the hook people are arguing and deleting one another racism is a touchy subject. We tend to see who people truly are when the subject is brought up. Everyone is hurting and our country is in need of healing. Our country need much prayer. God is the only person that can save us. Many of us are so lost because of hate. Everyone of us are sisters and brothers we may be different on the outside but underneath we are all the same. It’s time to get prayed up and to fight the real enemy which is the devil. Yes I said it the devil anything opposite of love is his work and he’s using people to do it. I’m not falling for the hate that’s going on. You can do if you chose to. I got nothing but love for everyone. That’s just how my heart is setup God give me my heart. Every life touches another we all matter to somebody. Nobody is a nobody somebody is somebody a to someone. We have to do better. Blessings. Much love to all.

dallas-police-killings-protest-03