Who Cares?

I am digging down deep in the depths of my soul and saying this most nonchalantly. “Who cares?” Who cares about who a person dated in their past? If it’s not affecting you in any way why is it any of your business?

I had touched on this subject before however, a recent situation pushed me to blog about it once more. A black woman felt compelled to explain her current dating choice because of her past dating choices. This situation is about interracial dating. I am over people who want to bond through the pain because they can’t stand to see others happy. Who this woman was in the past and who she is today more than likely aren’t the same. Everything happens for a reason, and everything serves some purpose. Adverse situations can teach people that they deserve better. We live. We learn. We grow. This black woman that I speak of used to date both black and white men. She has since decided to partner with white men only. So what? There could be several reasons why she has chosen to change her dating choices, things like past relationships, or doing what she always wanted to do. I can relate. My mother didn’t welcome my preference for white men, and she made me feel like I was doing something wrong. I get that she came up in a different time, but it didn’t change my desires. She allowed me to listen to heavy metal but watching the videos was so hard. I loved watching the video of handsome white men with gorgeous long hair. The video for Christian Woman by Type O Negative changed my life.

We all are quick to say live your life, but if you don’t have the support of your family, certain life events can be challenging to pursue when people are making you feel as if you are doing something wrong or they show that they are straight against it. We all need support, which is the reason why people keep their deepest desires to themselves until they feel confident enough to act on them.

It’s so vital for us to love and know ourselves enough to do what is best for us in our lives. If there is one that I have learned over the years through the bullying etc. is that it’s essential to love yourself. I have seen people attempting to expose someone else as a way to stop them from pursuing their happiness — the same way this black woman’s past relationships came out. Just because a person is afraid to act on their desires doesn’t give them the green light to influences yours these people’s opinions should be the least to be concerned about especially if these people are strangers. Why are these people attempting to stop someone else’s happiness? We should never forget that messengers have motives. Some people will stop at nothing to keep others miserable. What could be so wrong about being attracted to someone from a different race? After all, love has no color. We should be able to love who we want unapologetically without feeling the need to explain ourselves.

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A Love Like Theirs

Richonne Baby!!! I have always admired Rick and Michonne’s relationship. Was Rick married to Lori? Yes. However, Rick and Lori’s marriage was rocky before the zombie apocalypse. Rick talk to Shane about Lori always being angry with him. As soon as Lori thought that Rick was dead, she began sleeping with Rick’s best friend, Shane. Lori even got pregnant by Shane. How could she cheat on her husband so quickly? I believe that Lori and Shane were always attracted to one another. She joked with Rick about not being able to get a divorce during a zombie apocalypse. Was Rick attracted to Jessie? Yes, but she was married to someone else. Michonne was the woman that he trusted and confided in the must. Michonne changed Rick’s life for the better; in fact, their relationship was the first healthy relationship that he ever had. Rick and Michonne’s relationship consists of essential things, a natural friendship, mutual trust, and most importantly, excellent communication. Rick’s son Carl loved Michonne he told her that she was his best friend. Like it or not, Rick and Michonne were destined to be together long before they ever met. Sometimes it takes being with other people to understand what’s for you and what isn’t. Michonne knows when to give input, and she knows when to trust Rick’s choices. She’s loyal to his face and stands up for him behind his back. Yes, we know that it’s just a tv show but how sad it is to think that a relationship like theirs on exist on television?
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It’s Sunday, February 10th and I am counting down to 9 p.m, that’s when the Walking Dead will may its return. I will miss seeing Rick and Michonne together; their love is like no other. Like a person who was once head over hills for a person but has since laid the torch down yet reminisce every so often. I am still hopeful that Rick and Michonne will reconnect one day.

My Idea of Love

First and foremost
Love has no color
In my eyes
If anything
We only deprive
Ourselves of
The endless possibilities
By limiting ourselves
Because we are afraid
To think outside
Of the box
Which has nothing
To do with preferences
Let’s be clear
It all boils
Down to fear
Why not step
Beyond our comfort zone
We become free to fly
High and broaden our horizons
We find out that
There is a whole
New world
To explore
That will embrace
Us and give
Us what we deserve
And a lot more
What a treasure
When we realize
That we can
Have better
We begin to change
We begin to grow
We become less hard
We feel more safe
In our womanhood
Understanding that we
Can be tough as nails
Or soft as Daffodils
There is something about
Being a confident lady
Where we feel safe
It changes things
We owe it to ourselves
To see what’s
Out in the world
To stop questioning
Our worth
Because our past relationship
Choices showed it
Our name is not
The United Way,
Salvation Army,
Or Goodwill
We are not
Charity cases
Therefore no one
Should expect to
Come into our worlds
All while displaying
Very little effort
We deserve more
Than lazy daters
We deserve more
Than deadbeat fathers
Who have multiple
Children mothers
All of which they
Have zero thoughts about
Life is so short
Each passing day that goes by
Should consist
Of choices
That reflects realistic
Plans that were thought out
We are better
Than spontaneous decisions
Unless we are traveling
Around the world
Having a priceless worth
If not it will
Be our future
That will be hurt
The right mentality
Will attract the right people
Who are destined to
Be in our lives
But it can’t happen
Without being open
To change
And valuing who we are
We are courageous
We are radiate
We are brilliant
We are a gift
Anyone who says or thinks different
Is out of place
It’s our life
People who wants to
Bring us down shouldn’t be in it
It’s our choice
People who express negative
Is the opposite of positive
They do not serve a purpose
So let them go their way
As we keep shining
Being a beacon light
For true love to find us

Racist Boyfriend?

Yesterday was a crazy day for me. On Facebook, I’m in a couple of swirl groups. I swear the people who allow people into the groups should make sure that they are screened more thoroughly. I think that some are black men hiding behind a fake profile picture.

There was a question asked in the group. The question was, can a white man date a black woman and be racist? Here we go going through the same thing. Here we go again!

It’s always someone who is trying to scare black women from being open-minded about who she wants to date. The question opened up a sea of emotions. This person caused hysteria with this one question it opened up all kinds of what ifs. Some of the women started to speak of some white men possibly having fetishes but that doesn’t bother me here’s why:
fet·ish
ˈfediSH/Submit
noun
1.
A form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.
“Victorian men developed fetishes focusing on feet, shoes, and boots.”

Most black men love black women’s butts!!!! Trust me on this; I’m just saying.

The question made some of the white men in the group feel uncomfortable, and I didn’t blame them. It had some people questioning white men’s motives for dating black women — just a bunch of foolishness. We should be allowed to date who we choose without people trying to destroy it, and it was a black woman doing it.

Some black men have wasted years that should have been spent on developing a career or getting a degree and instead have accumulated baggage like children with different women, out of wedlock, of course. The 77% out of wedlock birth rate proves this. Let’s not get me started on the IBM they aren’t marrying anyone, but they are open to multiple women trying out for a position that they aren’t thinking about. The fact is there is a shortage of quality black men, and the solution is to date out.

We can’t live in fear of what could happen. Are there racist white men that a black woman could come across? Sure. Just like a black woman could come across a black man who’s abusive, disrespectful, and a cheater. The chances of a racist white guy dating a black woman are slim to none. That’s facts.

Look every time we take a chance at love there is a possibility that a bad thing could happen and good things can happen too. Still, good things can’t happen if we aren’t open to the opportunity! The right man for us may not look like what we expect. Expectations and assumptions only help us to miss out because they are always wrong. I refuse to live in fear. If there is a black woman, who fears dating white men because of the chance that they may be racist, there is an excellent solution for that don’t swirl. It’s just that simple.

Love Wins in the End

Happy Sunday to Everyone! I pray and hope that everyone is enjoying this beautiful day!

My day started wonderful as I have just found out about another amazing interracial couple. The couple’s names were Frederick Albert and Elinor Powell.

Long before the Lovings there was Frederick and Elinor who fell in love during World War 2! Frederick was a white man and Elinor was a black woman.

Their story is incredibly amazing and inspiring! The heart wants what the heart wants.

Love always wins in the end!

What’s Really the Problem?

Not too long ago I wrote about a post that a white woman wrote addressing black people. She questioned why some black people had an issue when one or the other dates outside of the race. It was definitely crazy how she pointed that out.

The Justin McClure’s situation has gotten crazy and nerve racking. Like leave that man in peace to love his family. It’s sickening how some of the people from the black community are behaving. I question what’s really the issue. To be honest the only people that he needs to answer to is his family.

I’m not giving up on hope for some black women they will come around eventually. I can’t name all of the things that my mother used to tell me and now I see what she meant. We have to extend the same courtesy to others because none us woke up and just got something. A lot of the reasons why we make the choices that we make is because something influenced it. Most people ask for advice for a reason whether they choose to accept it is another.

Why do some black people take delight in other people’s pain? It’s disgusting because it’s only exposing how people truly are. Waiting to be able to say I knew that they wasn’t perfect. Well who told you to put a human being on a pedestal so high done with the hopes that they will fall. Just so you can talk about it. Blackheartedness that is plain ugly. Vengeful spirited people scare me because they obsess about destroying a person. They don’t stop until their vengeance is fulfilled. And do you know what’s even more scary how hungry that they are about making it happen. Literally starving almost foaming at the mouth like a ravage dog. Instead of putting that kind of energy into leading a productive life. Some people are so freaking spiteful.

My mother used to say that some black people are like crabs in a basket. Crabs in a basket means a syndrome where a group of like situated people hurt those in their community attempting to get ahead. Often this is applied to people in an impoverished community where one person is starting to get ahead. The collective community becomes jealous or filled with a sense of self-loathing, so they find a way to pull that person back down to the community’s level.
When harvesting crab, the crab as a group will pull down any crab that starts to climb out of the barrel in an attempt to be the first out of the barrel that holds them in, hence crabs-in-a-barrel.

My mother dated only black men she wasn’t a swirler but she was a truth teller. She was born in the 50s so she witnessed a lot of stuff pertaining to some black people. Is that the problem? Some black people have a crab in a basket syndrome? If that is not the case then quit going after other people’s happiness as if you are on a witchhunt. Level up in the spirit regardless of your beliefs that way you’ll learn to be in competition with yourself and not obsess about destroying others.

Our History

A past is something that we all have. Today will be yesterday by this time tomorrow. Will I make a mistake? Will I offend someone? Will I overcook my broccoli? Will I wear my wig wrong and never be able to live it down? Will someone have a problem with the way that I lived my life ten years from now? When I get into a relationship how much of my past is owed to my partner? If I have worked my past out with God why should I have to dig up old bones again? I am not trying to pull out skeletons that are in my closet and lay them across the bed like a wardrobe. Explaining this mistake and that mistake. Really?! I am torn about this subject. I have so many questions and feelings.

In the news there has been waves made about this amazing Youtube couple name Justin and Ami McClure. Mr. and Mrs. McClure are a interracial couple who has a set of twins and a son. Recently, Mr. McClure’s past came back to haunt him. Many years ago before Mr. McClure got married he made some racist tweets about black people and black women. This situation has caused a media frenzy and I pray that their marriage can withstand this situation. I believe that Mr. McClure learned from his mistake there are many who refuse to allow him to live it down. It is obvious that he loves his family. This man adopted the twins if that doesn’t show that he’s a man of substance I don’t know what will. There are a lot of men who don’t take care of their children and he’s not one of them. Just Sayin.

It’s funny how last night I kind of got into a small debate about women who have been divorced giving a single or married couples advice. The guy felt that a divorced woman couldn’t give advice because her marriage didn’t last. As if a wife is solely responsible for keeping a marriage together. A person can’t keep a person who doesn’t want to be kept. In my opinion marriages end every day for different reasons. If a man cheats should a woman stay? If a woman cheats should a man stay? If a man is a drug addict should a woman stay? I get tired of one sided people. This man calls himself a Christian yet it’s the wife’s fault if a marriage falls apart? What happened to the husband being the head bruh? One of his female facebook’s friends jumped on the post coming for me. SMH! Ummm Sis. You go right ahead on and talk to yourself. Long story short I believe that experience is the best teacher. A mistake is a mistake no matter what kind that it is. Oh we can choose what a mistake is now? Suppose people got married young and things didn’t work out? Maybe the people who got married young can give advice about why getting married young was a bad choice. The base word of message is mess. A message can’t happen without a mess happening. We can learn from the past that’s why they teach history in school.

I don’t know about anyone else but I refuse to be bonded by my mistakes. I’m not going to keep reliving things. I might get involved with a partner and have to explain something that happened years ago? I don’t think so. If a person was married before okay then they should share that information. No one wants to have their past dug up. Our present is a gift that affects our future. The past is over and we have to be careful of people who are out to hurt us. Mr.McClure’s tweets are many years old and no I am not saying it’s okay. All I am asking is how long do we have to keep reliving something that is over? And why is it that some people gets a quicker pass than others? They will extend the courtesy a million miles long for certain people. I refuse to not live my life to the fullest out of fear. I have dealt with my past as far as I am concerned if there is nothing in my past that will hurt my partner later then there is nothing to discuss. Cars don’t drive backwards. People don’t walk backwards. So why should I live my life constantly looking back. Everyone has made mistakes and will continue to do so it’s called being human. The worst thing about a mistake is if nothing was learned from it. So I am erasing my past mistakes unless they can be useful to somebody else, besides that there is no need of studying my past one won’t be able to earn a degree from it.
menghapus-dosa