What’s Really the Problem?

Not too long ago I wrote about a post that a white woman wrote addressing black people. She questioned why some black people had an issue when one or the other dates outside of the race. It was definitely crazy how she pointed that out.

The Justin McClure’s situation has gotten crazy and nerve racking. Like leave that man in peace to love his family. It’s sickening how some of the people from the black community are behaving. I question what’s really the issue. To be honest the only people that he needs to answer to is his family.

I’m not giving up on hope for some black women they will come around eventually. I can’t name all of the things that my mother used to tell me and now I see what she meant. We have to extend the same courtesy to others because none us woke up and just got something. A lot of the reasons why we make the choices that we make is because something influenced it. Most people ask for advice for a reason whether they choose to accept it is another.

Why do some black people take delight in other people’s pain? It’s disgusting because it’s only exposing how people truly are. Waiting to be able to say I knew that they wasn’t perfect. Well who told you to put a human being on a pedestal so high done with the hopes that they will fall. Just so you can talk about it. Blackheartedness that is plain ugly. Vengeful spirited people scare me because they obsess about destroying a person. They don’t stop until their vengeance is fulfilled. And do you know what’s even more scary how hungry that they are about making it happen. Literally starving almost foaming at the mouth like a ravage dog. Instead of putting that kind of energy into leading a productive life. Some people are so freaking spiteful.

My mother used to say that some black people are like crabs in a basket. Crabs in a basket means a syndrome where a group of like situated people hurt those in their community attempting to get ahead. Often this is applied to people in an impoverished community where one person is starting to get ahead. The collective community becomes jealous or filled with a sense of self-loathing, so they find a way to pull that person back down to the community’s level.
When harvesting crab, the crab as a group will pull down any crab that starts to climb out of the barrel in an attempt to be the first out of the barrel that holds them in, hence crabs-in-a-barrel.

My mother dated only black men she wasn’t a swirler but she was a truth teller. She was born in the 50s so she witnessed a lot of stuff pertaining to some black people. Is that the problem? Some black people have a crab in a basket syndrome? If that is not the case then quit going after other people’s happiness as if you are on a witchhunt. Level up in the spirit regardless of your beliefs that way you’ll learn to be in competition with yourself and not obsess about destroying others.

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Our History

A past is something that we all have. Today will be yesterday by this time tomorrow. Will I make a mistake? Will I offend someone? Will I overcook my broccoli? Will I wear my wig wrong and never be able to live it down? Will someone have a problem with the way that I lived my life ten years from now? When I get into a relationship how much of my past is owed to my partner? If I have worked my past out with God why should I have to dig up old bones again? I am not trying to pull out skeletons that are in my closet and lay them across the bed like a wardrobe. Explaining this mistake and that mistake. Really?! I am torn about this subject. I have so many questions and feelings.

In the news there has been waves made about this amazing Youtube couple name Justin and Ami McClure. Mr. and Mrs. McClure are a interracial couple who has a set of twins and a son. Recently, Mr. McClure’s past came back to haunt him. Many years ago before Mr. McClure got married he made some racist tweets about black people and black women. This situation has caused a media frenzy and I pray that their marriage can withstand this situation. I believe that Mr. McClure learned from his mistake there are many who refuse to allow him to live it down. It is obvious that he loves his family. This man adopted the twins if that doesn’t show that he’s a man of substance I don’t know what will. There are a lot of men who don’t take care of their children and he’s not one of them. Just Sayin.

It’s funny how last night I kind of got into a small debate about women who have been divorced giving a single or married couples advice. The guy felt that a divorced woman couldn’t give advice because her marriage didn’t last. As if a wife is solely responsible for keeping a marriage together. A person can’t keep a person who doesn’t want to be kept. In my opinion marriages end every day for different reasons. If a man cheats should a woman stay? If a woman cheats should a man stay? If a man is a drug addict should a woman stay? I get tired of one sided people. This man calls himself a Christian yet it’s the wife’s fault if a marriage falls apart? What happened to the husband being the head bruh? One of his female facebook’s friends jumped on the post coming for me. SMH! Ummm Sis. You go right ahead on and talk to yourself. Long story short I believe that experience is the best teacher. A mistake is a mistake no matter what kind that it is. Oh we can choose what a mistake is now? Suppose people got married young and things didn’t work out? Maybe the people who got married young can give advice about why getting married young was a bad choice. The base word of message is mess. A message can’t happen without a mess happening. We can learn from the past that’s why they teach history in school.

I don’t know about anyone else but I refuse to be bonded by my mistakes. I’m not going to keep reliving things. I might get involved with a partner and have to explain something that happened years ago? I don’t think so. If a person was married before okay then they should share that information. No one wants to have their past dug up. Our present is a gift that affects our future. The past is over and we have to be careful of people who are out to hurt us. Mr.McClure’s tweets are many years old and no I am not saying it’s okay. All I am asking is how long do we have to keep reliving something that is over? And why is it that some people gets a quicker pass than others? They will extend the courtesy a million miles long for certain people. I refuse to not live my life to the fullest out of fear. I have dealt with my past as far as I am concerned if there is nothing in my past that will hurt my partner later then there is nothing to discuss. Cars don’t drive backwards. People don’t walk backwards. So why should I live my life constantly looking back. Everyone has made mistakes and will continue to do so it’s called being human. The worst thing about a mistake is if nothing was learned from it. So I am erasing my past mistakes unless they can be useful to somebody else, besides that there is no need of studying my past one won’t be able to earn a degree from it.
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Selective Familyship

Don’t talk to me
About us being family
When a person
Being different
When diversity of thought
When not following the trend
Isn’t welcomed
Don’t talk to me
About our people
Being slaves
When in this
Current day
Some of you come up
With ways daily
To hurt your people
With memes and name calling
How black women
Are ugly, money grubbing,
Attitude, no hair or edges having,
Weave and wig wearing
Females with multiple
Children by different daddies
Warning anyone who will
Listening to stay away
Don’t believe me
Go look on social media
Search the internet
Things that are distorting
Black women’s image will be found
Which tugs at our self-esteem
For the whole world to see
It is the ultimate form of slavery
Bonded by the feelings
Of being unworthy
Of priceless things
Like love and respect
Public humiliation
At it’s finest
Some black men get on the internet
Proclaiming that black women
Just ain’t s***
For the record
I have two sons
By the same man
We got married
He went to prison
He got out
Guess where he is at
Yeap you guessed it
In another female’s bed
Taking care of another man’s kids
While acting like his kids
Don’t exist
When I share about
My history
It’s oh that’s why
She’s bitter and angry
There’s never any understanding
Some of you are
Worse than the Pharisees
Who caught the woman
In adultery
But the man that she was with
Got off scott free
It’s so sad
Nothing about this is funny
Ahhh the hypocrisy
Don’t talk about interracial dating
It’s almost like it’s a crime
For black women
To explore happiness
In some other locality
As if it’s poisioning
The black community
When some black men
Have been enjoying
Having cream in their coffee
Get some of them angry
That’s when things
Really gets ugly
And their true feelings
About you
Comes to the surface
But do you know
When they first had
These feelings
It was in the beginning
They didn’t just happen
And don’t get me
Started on the
Attacks that are used
As silencing tactics
I get so tired
Of being silent
So don’t come to me
With the our people mess
These selective battles
I just can’t stand it
It doesn’t make any sense
Stop being a hypocrite
I’m not for division
Amongst the races
Just leave me out of it
Claiming me
As your family
Or your people
Only when you see fit

It’s a Trend?

There are a few swirl groups that I belong to and I am glad that I am in them every day I am seeing more black women and white men getting together. I just seen a white man and a black woman get married, the wedding was so beautiful. It’s incredibly awesome seeing love win. Today in one of the groups a person asked when you see a swirl couple in public honestly how does that make you feel? I answered of course by saying that it makes me happy to see black women opening themselves up to other possible avenues to happiness. What we think is meant to happen may not happen like we expect. But we can never receive the happiness that we deserve by placing limits on who can make us happy.

I have already shared my background at a young age I told my mother that I was attracted to white men, she didn’t take it well at first. The same way children go through puberty and decides which sex they are attracted to, I discovered that I was attracted to white men. It’s just that simple. So, no I wasn’t hurt white men is what I have always preferred. Sorry that you can’t minimize my attraction to being bitter or hurt. Nice try though.
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In the 90s there wasn’t any swirl groups or anyone I knew that could give me advice on dating interracially. Still I understand that it took for us to go through the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s to get here today and I am extremely grateful.

If there is one thing that can grind my gears is a person downplaying or reducing a situation to nothing. When a person does that it’s a sign that they don’t want to face the reality of the truth. Recently, I read a comment on a video pertaining to interracial dating the commenter called black women and white men dating a trend. Dude are you serious right now?
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The commenter was a black man, now don’t get your feathers ruffled I am in no way saying that all black men have a problem with interracial dating. So chill out okay.
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I want black women to do whatever it is that makes them happy but let’s prove people wrong. Show the black men who thinks that white men and black women getting together is a trend that it isn’t a trend. The way to do this is to be totally attracted to white men to begin with. Black women should not date white men for stupid reasons like trying something new or if they have been hurt. I once knew a white guy who told me that a black woman only wanted to date him because she wanted a mixed child. Some people fail to realize that one life touches another if possible change a person’s life for the better not for the worse.

There are a lot of black women who are educated, speaks intellectually, attractive, have morals, can cook, and career driven etc. Every day I see black women breaking stereotypes about the so-called norms pertaining to us. It’s a great time to be alive. It’s a great time for white men and black women to be in love.

The Headaches of Dating Interracially

The other day I saw a post from a white lady that said:

“Dear Black men and black women,
Why is that when love joins two people together of different races does this become a problem with you? You say that you love and serve God yet your hatred from the unity of two people in love says differently. God didn’t teach this. If you hate on others it is like hating yourself. Stop that. Stop creating problems where there is no problem. Leave people to live, love and to be free. It’s as simple as that. I love you all and God loves you most. Be good and kind to each other. As God says love one another as you love ourselves. Amen”

I have nothing against this lady she’s wonderful but she really got me to thinking. Especially about people’s true thoughts on interracial dating. On Youtube videos of Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex they are filled with hateful words some are from white people who are calling her racist names. Meghan is half black and half white, yet they look at her as being completely black. Which to me is racist. Why can’t Meghan be seen for the person that she is? Racist people can’t do it, that’s why.

Now I am not sure of what exactly she saw that made her post this. However, I could give a hill of beans about who black men date or marry. I am not into black men and they can date whomever they choose. I hope that they feel the same way about black women too. It’s crazy to me. This lady addressed black people it’s highly doubtful that she saw Chelsy Davy’s face. Please don’t tell me that it was just because Harry was getting married either. In case a reminder is needed of Chelsy’s expression at Prince Harry and Meghan’s wedding. Her facial impression was so apparent that it produced a sea of memes.
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I remember when a white guy that I was talking to said that everyone is a little racist. I’m not sure whether or not that it’s really true. I do know by this lady making a post it could mean a few things mostly that she saw something that a black person did.

If we look at the rate that black men date out people are used to it. Most people are used to seeing black men with women of other races. Black women are just becoming comfortable with opening up their dating options. I have experience dating white men and I have gotten stares from black men as well as white women. So it’s not a black people thing only, it’s a racial thing that shows when people of different races are dating.
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Love International

Bravo has a new show that I am interested in called To Rome for Love. The show is about African American women who travel to another country to find love. I find this so refreshing because we get to see how different cultures interact in the dating world. The show will be exciting but I hope that it won’t contain too many stereotypes or too much drama. Praying that the show uses this opportunity to show African American women in a positive light. We can do without the unnecessary drama in order to grab ratings. It needs to be understood that many people don’t look at television shows as being fake some believe that there is a little truth in everything. I’m excited to see what happens with the show positive things; here’s hoping!!!

Remember the Time

Oprah Winfrey made some amazing points when she accepted her Golden Globe Award. One of the things that she said was everyone has a story and for us to share it. With that being said I going to share MY STORY because it’s mine ALONE!!! No one knows MY LIFE STORY better than me except God almighty. Anyone who attempts to lessen my story has a motive and it’s an evil one. I am me and I am Not caring about who accepts me or not. I know what my hobbies are. I know what kinds of music that I love and how long that I have been listening to it. And most importantly I know who I am attracted and how long it’s been.

I have been listening to heavy metal when it was unheard of. My mother brought me shirts with heavy metal bands on them. In the 80s people used to write on their jeans mine had the name of metal bands on them. I had my walled plastered with all kinds of musicians including heavy metal bands.

It’s comical how some people think they know your history but really they don’t. Interracial dating is becoming more common between white men and black women. I have always been attracted to white men my first serious boyfriend was white. My first boyfriend brought me a car and we put stickers of heavy metal bands all over it. One time while my boyfriend at the time was out to sea my sister asked for a ride and a cop pulled me over for gp. Here I am a black woman with braids driving a car with heavy metal stickers on it in the early 90s. My sister can back me up on this story as well as a few others.

Interracial dating between white men and black women is really nothing new; it’s just becoming more common now. Some people act like it’s a big discovery like Columbus claiming America when Leif Erikson had already been there and done that. Facts!!!!! There are more books, movies, television shows, and groups that promotes interracial dating but they wasn’t around when I was dating outside of my race.

Now there are people who be like why are people being so vocal about interracial dating between white men and black women? Well because it’s still not really accepted and in order for couples to make it support is needed. It’s not easy to date interracial; it’s hard now and it was even harder when I first started dating outside of my race. I remember one time when my white boyfriend at the time and I was holding hands walking through the mall together when a large group of black males attempted to walk between us to get us to stop holding hands. I told him to ignore them because they would have tired to just him and me. I wouldn’t stood there and allow anyone to hurt him.

I am so excited that more and more people are following their hearts and being who they are. I rather for people to think I am strange than to Not be free because I am afraid of what people think of me. I am going to listen to the music that I enjoy and love who I want to love whether they have my skin color or not.