I Just Don’t Know How to Feel

I feel like the U2 song called Numb
I have a bland demeanor
I just don’t know how to feel
I wrote a post
The other day
Was it God preparing me
I spoke about
The importance of being healthy
Then boom one of my sisters
That is second to me in my family
Became sickly
My sister and I
Have very different personalities
We are not any different
Than any other siblings
She would push me
To the point where
I would scream
Then things would really get ugly
The next thing you know
We stop speaking
To each other
This last time was unique
Because when I spoke
Back to my sister
She had a surgery
That changed everything
It brought on an
Illness that made her so weak
That it robbed
Her of her speech and mobility
My sister told me
That she had a vision
Of all of her sisters
When we were young
In the backyard playing
Then she gave me an apology
She said I’m sorry
That I have been so mean
I love you with all of my heart
Then she started crying
And asked God
Why are You punishing me?
I think about Christianity
Christians are still
Human beings
Is it right
For us to except
People being mean?
I always try
To be forgiving
I feel so torn
Do I stand up
And demand respect
For all the times
She made me upset
Or do I allow
This situation to teach me
To not waste time
On stupid things
Because time is the most
Valuable thing that you can
Share with someone
That you love deeply
I love my sisters
So much I just
Want us to live to be elderly
I just want us to live carefree
I just want us to be happy
Father God in Heaven
Please allow my prayers
To be
My heart can’t take
Anymore agony

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Am I Asking For Too Much?

The purpose of my blog is to discuss things that no one wants to talk about. What I am doing is not very popular but  I am fine with that. In my opinion everyone has some knowledge that’s useful in one way or another. Even a fool is right sometimes just like a broken clock has the right time twice a day. All it takes is for us to empty out the noise that in our minds that at times helps to cloud our perspective of things.

I consider myself to be a pretty open-minded. I will give anyone a chance still there are situations that cannot be ignored, like dead beat fathers. I always speak up for the good fathers because they are some. Let me give a description of what I feel is a good father:

He’s there for his children

He understand that money isn’t more important than his time

He’s love for his children is not limited

Regardless of what is going on with the mother of the children it doesn’t impact his relationship with his children

He understands balance and does it well

The word bashing isn’t a part of his vocabulary because he is responsible

He doesn’t hold pity parties

We all strive to be more and a parent should never cut their children short of anything especially love. None of us wants to be the reason for creating a damaged child because they grow up into messed up adults. I am really tired of dead fathers getting upset because people speak on the things that they aren’t doing. It’s time to stop making excuses for the choices that you made being a parent is a two way street.  Dead beat fathers stop contributing to the dysfunction in the black community if you didn’t have a father then be the dad that you never had.

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I Got Time

The biggest mistake

That we all make

Is feel that it’s okay

To put off things until tomorrow

What can be done today

Should be

Don’t procrastinate

Don’t wait

Stop thinking

Oh I got time

Because none of us

Knows what’s down the line

We have to stop

Taking things for granted

Like our loves ones

We get into a fight

We run

We hide

We get an ego

We won’t let the anger go

We plan on speaking

With the person later

In hopes that the peace

Between the both of you

Will be greater

Or how about that special someone

The one we have feelings for

But has yet to tell them

It’s always

One day I will let them know

It’s always

Oh I got time

Let me ask you a question

Who’s in control of time

It certainly isn’t us

What happens

When the moment that

We are waiting for never arrives

Missed opportunities

Are dangerous

They kill you inside

Makes you want to cry

Makes you want to die

Waiting on tomorrow

Sometimes can bring sorrow

From being shallow

I challenge you to borrow

From your wasted time

And contact the one who

Has been on your mind

Ever think about what happens

If you never were

To see that person ever again

I’m not judging

We are all human

I too am guilty of this

I will admit

But we must not allow

Ourselves to forget

That everyone’s time

Is limited

We must not allow ourselves

To become blind

By the phrase

Oh I got time

Because the truth is

It’s  a huge lie