Racist Boyfriend?

Yesterday was a really crazy day for me. On Facebook I’m in a couple of swirl groups. I swear the people who allow people into the groups should make sure that they are screened more thoroughly. I really think that some are black men hiding behind a fake profile picture.

There was a question that was asked in the group. The question was can a white man date a black woman and be racist? Here we go going through the same thing. Here we go again!

It’s always someone who is trying to scare black women from being open-minded about who she wants to date. The question opened up a sea of emotions. This person caused hysteria with this one question it opened up all kinds of what ifs. Some of the women started to speak of some white men possibly having fetishes but that doesn’t bother me here’s why:
fet·ish
ˈfediSH/Submit
noun
1.
a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.
“Victorian men developed fetishes focusing on feet, shoes, and boots”

Most black men love black women’s butts. I’m just saying.

The question made some of the white men in the group feel uncomfortable and I didn’t blame them. It had some people questioning white men’s motives for dating black women. Just a bunch of foolishness. We should be allowed to date who we choose without people trying to destroy it and it was a black woman doing it.

Some black men have wasted years that should have been spent on developing a career or getting a degree and instead have accumulated baggage like children with different women, out of wedlock of course. The 77% out of wedlock birth rate proves this. Let’s not get me started on the IBM they aren’t marrying anyone but they are open to multiple women trying out for a position that they aren’t thinking about. The fact is there is a shortage of quality black men and the solution is to date out.

We can’t live in fear of what could happen. Are there racist white men that a black woman could come across? Sure. Just like a black woman could come across a black man who’s abusive, disrespectful, and a cheater. The chances of a racist white guy dating a black woman is slim to none. That’s facts.

Look every time we take a chance at love there is a possibility that a bad thing could happen and good things can happen too. Still good things can’t happen if we aren’t open to the possibility! The right man for us may not look like what we expect. Expectations and assumptions only helps us to miss out because they are always wrong. I refuse to live in fear. If there is a black woman who fears dating white men because of the chance that they may be racist there is a great solution for that don’t swirl. It’s just that simple.

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What’s Really the Problem?

Not too long ago I wrote about a post that a white woman wrote addressing black people. She questioned why some black people had an issue when one or the other dates outside of the race. It was definitely crazy how she pointed that out.

The Justin McClure’s situation has gotten crazy and nerve racking. Like leave that man in peace to love his family. It’s sickening how some of the people from the black community are behaving. I question what’s really the issue. To be honest the only people that he needs to answer to is his family.

I’m not giving up on hope for some black women they will come around eventually. I can’t name all of the things that my mother used to tell me and now I see what she meant. We have to extend the same courtesy to others because none us woke up and just got something. A lot of the reasons why we make the choices that we make is because something influenced it. Most people ask for advice for a reason whether they choose to accept it is another.

Why do some black people take delight in other people’s pain? It’s disgusting because it’s only exposing how people truly are. Waiting to be able to say I knew that they wasn’t perfect. Well who told you to put a human being on a pedestal so high done with the hopes that they will fall. Just so you can talk about it. Blackheartedness that is plain ugly. Vengeful spirited people scare me because they obsess about destroying a person. They don’t stop until their vengeance is fulfilled. And do you know what’s even more scary how hungry that they are about making it happen. Literally starving almost foaming at the mouth like a ravage dog. Instead of putting that kind of energy into leading a productive life. Some people are so freaking spiteful.

My mother used to say that some black people are like crabs in a basket. Crabs in a basket means a syndrome where a group of like situated people hurt those in their community attempting to get ahead. Often this is applied to people in an impoverished community where one person is starting to get ahead. The collective community becomes jealous or filled with a sense of self-loathing, so they find a way to pull that person back down to the community’s level.
When harvesting crab, the crab as a group will pull down any crab that starts to climb out of the barrel in an attempt to be the first out of the barrel that holds them in, hence crabs-in-a-barrel.

My mother dated only black men she wasn’t a swirler but she was a truth teller. She was born in the 50s so she witnessed a lot of stuff pertaining to some black people. Is that the problem? Some black people have a crab in a basket syndrome? If that is not the case then quit going after other people’s happiness as if you are on a witchhunt. Level up in the spirit regardless of your beliefs that way you’ll learn to be in competition with yourself and not obsess about destroying others.

Our History

A past is something that we all have. Today will be yesterday by this time tomorrow. Will I make a mistake? Will I offend someone? Will I overcook my broccoli? Will I wear my wig wrong and never be able to live it down? Will someone have a problem with the way that I lived my life ten years from now? When I get into a relationship how much of my past is owed to my partner? If I have worked my past out with God why should I have to dig up old bones again? I am not trying to pull out skeletons that are in my closet and lay them across the bed like a wardrobe. Explaining this mistake and that mistake. Really?! I am torn about this subject. I have so many questions and feelings.

In the news there has been waves made about this amazing Youtube couple name Justin and Ami McClure. Mr. and Mrs. McClure are a interracial couple who has a set of twins and a son. Recently, Mr. McClure’s past came back to haunt him. Many years ago before Mr. McClure got married he made some racist tweets about black people and black women. This situation has caused a media frenzy and I pray that their marriage can withstand this situation. I believe that Mr. McClure learned from his mistake there are many who refuse to allow him to live it down. It is obvious that he loves his family. This man adopted the twins if that doesn’t show that he’s a man of substance I don’t know what will. There are a lot of men who don’t take care of their children and he’s not one of them. Just Sayin.

It’s funny how last night I kind of got into a small debate about women who have been divorced giving a single or married couples advice. The guy felt that a divorced woman couldn’t give advice because her marriage didn’t last. As if a wife is solely responsible for keeping a marriage together. A person can’t keep a person who doesn’t want to be kept. In my opinion marriages end every day for different reasons. If a man cheats should a woman stay? If a woman cheats should a man stay? If a man is a drug addict should a woman stay? I get tired of one sided people. This man calls himself a Christian yet it’s the wife’s fault if a marriage falls apart? What happened to the husband being the head bruh? One of his female facebook’s friends jumped on the post coming for me. SMH! Ummm Sis. You go right ahead on and talk to yourself. Long story short I believe that experience is the best teacher. A mistake is a mistake no matter what kind that it is. Oh we can choose what a mistake is now? Suppose people got married young and things didn’t work out? Maybe the people who got married young can give advice about why getting married young was a bad choice. The base word of message is mess. A message can’t happen without a mess happening. We can learn from the past that’s why they teach history in school.

I don’t know about anyone else but I refuse to be bonded by my mistakes. I’m not going to keep reliving things. I might get involved with a partner and have to explain something that happened years ago? I don’t think so. If a person was married before okay then they should share that information. No one wants to have their past dug up. Our present is a gift that affects our future. The past is over and we have to be careful of people who are out to hurt us. Mr.McClure’s tweets are many years old and no I am not saying it’s okay. All I am asking is how long do we have to keep reliving something that is over? And why is it that some people gets a quicker pass than others? They will extend the courtesy a million miles long for certain people. I refuse to not live my life to the fullest out of fear. I have dealt with my past as far as I am concerned if there is nothing in my past that will hurt my partner later then there is nothing to discuss. Cars don’t drive backwards. People don’t walk backwards. So why should I live my life constantly looking back. Everyone has made mistakes and will continue to do so it’s called being human. The worst thing about a mistake is if nothing was learned from it. So I am erasing my past mistakes unless they can be useful to somebody else, besides that there is no need of studying my past one won’t be able to earn a degree from it.
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I’m Not For Racism

I’m not for racism but I can’t stand hypocrisy either. Stupidity doesn’t work well for me. I have said this time and time again I hate the “N” word, no one should use it regardless of their race!

Yes. The CEO of Papa John’s was wrong along with everyone who uses racial slurs no one is better than a anyone else. Some black people use the “N” word but get up in an uproar when someone from another race uses it. What’s the difference? Can someone please explain this to me? I read a post from a person stating that they didn’t feel sorry for the CEO of Papa John’s that they don’t feel sorry for racists. Yet this person has never corrected the black people who uses the word. The person only talked about the “racist white people” who uses it. Well let me ask something is a black person who uses the “N” word racist? One needs to be careful about the reasons why it’s okay for black people to be able to use that word.

The definition of the “N” word is Slang: Extremely Disparaging and Offensive.
a contemptuous term used to refer to a black person.
a contemptuous term used to refer to a member of any dark-skinned people.

This is why I speak of the dysfunction within the black community some thinks it’s okay to use the “N” like they get a free pass. If this word is so offensive why is it okay for anyone to use it? I have some people who want to bully me because of my mentality it’s okay with me because I don’t take them seriously.

I get tired of all the foolishness that I see. Every time a white person gets caught saying a racial slur “it’s see I told you” but they don’t correct the black people who say it. I believe and I could be wrong but some people love to choose battles that are easy. Some black people know if they complain enough companies will fire people and apologize immediately. They won’t say anything to the black people who use the “N” because they may use it themselves or the feel that they are justified to use it.

Some people have a bullying spirit they are ready to jump on those who they can intimidate. Just like how some of these black men be on the internet calling black women names and talking about how they are. Some of these black men claim to care about the community but they don’t say a word to black men. The last time I checked the black community consisted of more than just the women. And no I’m not getting off track I’m talking about the hypocrisy that goes on.

When some black people get upset about another race using the “N” word and not their own. Isn’t that calling the kettle black? Come on now!!! People are good at holding up a mirror up at other people but would rather drop it and chance getting cut by glass before they are willing to face themselves.

The Headaches of Dating Interracially

The other day I saw a post from a white lady that said:

“Dear Black men and black women,
Why is that when love joins two people together of different races does this become a problem with you? You say that you love and serve God yet your hatred from the unity of two people in love says differently. God didn’t teach this. If you hate on others it is like hating yourself. Stop that. Stop creating problems where there is no problem. Leave people to live, love and to be free. It’s as simple as that. I love you all and God loves you most. Be good and kind to each other. As God says love one another as you love ourselves. Amen”

I have nothing against this lady she’s wonderful but she really got me to thinking. Especially about people’s true thoughts on interracial dating. On Youtube videos of Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex they are filled with hateful words some are from white people who are calling her racist names. Meghan is half black and half white, yet they look at her as being completely black. Which to me is racist. Why can’t Meghan be seen for the person that she is? Racist people can’t do it, that’s why.

Now I am not sure of what exactly she saw that made her post this. However, I could give a hill of beans about who black men date or marry. I am not into black men and they can date whomever they choose. I hope that they feel the same way about black women too. It’s crazy to me. This lady addressed black people it’s highly doubtful that she saw Chelsy Davy’s face. Please don’t tell me that it was just because Harry was getting married either. In case a reminder is needed of Chelsy’s expression at Prince Harry and Meghan’s wedding. Her facial impression was so apparent that it produced a sea of memes.
054FF01A000007D0-0-Chelsy_Davy_seen_waiting_for_the_wedding_of_Prince_Harry_and_Meg-m-92_1527179085181

I remember when a white guy that I was talking to said that everyone is a little racist. I’m not sure whether or not that it’s really true. I do know by this lady making a post it could mean a few things mostly that she saw something that a black person did.

If we look at the rate that black men date out people are used to it. Most people are used to seeing black men with women of other races. Black women are just becoming comfortable with opening up their dating options. I have experience dating white men and I have gotten stares from black men as well as white women. So it’s not a black people thing only, it’s a racial thing that shows when people of different races are dating.
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Here on Be Lifted

It won’t be long before my blog will be two years old. I am pretty happy about all that I have accomplished. Here on be lifted the things that are thought about are talked about in a positive and encouraging way. We can’t work out important issues if we are afraid to talk about them. I want the chains of negativity to be broken that binds us all. Let the chains of hurt be broken and fall off. Let the chains that divide us like racism be broken and fall off. May the people who are constantly race baiting and stirring the pot of division lick the spoon as well as choke on it. Life is too short to have to deal with hatred. I am for positive changes that excludes no one but includes everyone; it’s the best way to get things done.

Whose Philosophy was Better?

I had an amazing conversation with one of my friends who is white. He is really concerned about the frequency of hate that is going on. I assured him that everything would be okay because things will be. He asked a interesting question it was whose philosophy did I agree with the most Martin Luther King Jr. or Malcolm X? I respect Malcolm X but I choose Martin Luther King Jr. it’s all about peace and love. The way that I think isn’t received well by some of the people of my race however there are some black people who think the same way as I do. A lot of the way that I think comes from the way that I was raised and my education too.

First off what happened in Charlottesville, Virginia was absolutely terrible everyone at least agrees on that. From my understanding the protest that was took place was pertaining to a confederate statue being removed forgive me if I am wrong. I have already written my views on the confederate flag. There are people who view the confederate flag as their heritage both blacks and whites. No,I do Not support hate I find it repulsive however everyone has the right to exercise their first amendment rights. Problems arise when things become violent which is never good.

Here’s the thing yes slavery took place and there was segregation years ago. Even though my mother grew up during the time of segregation; she was not racist. My mother did not raise me to hate anyone but to love everyone. I once went for classes to be able to volunteer at the YWCA one thing that stuck out during the classes was meeting people where they are. Positive things can happen when we meet people where they are. There are people my age bring up slavery and segregation we never encounter that; our ancestors did. There are white people my age and younger who feel like there have to pay for what their ancestors did. I will never forget how one of my Facebook friends apologized for what her ancestors did; it was heartbreaking. No one should have to feel like they have to pay for a debt of someone else’s wrongdoings, ancestors or not.

It is time for our country to start healing together. All white people aren’t racist. All black people aren’t criminals. Healing cannot be done if salt continues to be applied to a wound. When we cut ourselves from a fall or a paper cut the body immediately begins the healing process. I have two sons and I want them to live in a world that is better than what’s going on now. Going into the past doesn’t solve anything if nothing positive is being done about it. Answering hate with hate does not solve anything. As the great Martin Luther King Jr. once said “Darkness cannot drive out darkness;only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.