Our History

A past is something that we all have. Today will be yesterday by this time tomorrow. Will I make a mistake? Will I offend someone? Will I overcook my broccoli? Will I wear my wig wrong and never be able to live it down? Will someone have a problem with the way that I lived my life ten years from now? When I get into a relationship how much of my past is owed to my partner? If I have worked my past out with God why should I have to dig up old bones again? I am not trying to pull out skeletons that are in my closet and lay them across the bed like a wardrobe. Explaining this mistake and that mistake. Really?! I am torn about this subject. I have so many questions and feelings.

In the news there has been waves made about this amazing Youtube couple name Justin and Ami McClure. Mr. and Mrs. McClure are a interracial couple who has a set of twins and a son. Recently, Mr. McClure’s past came back to haunt him. Many years ago before Mr. McClure got married he made some racist tweets about black people and black women. This situation has caused a media frenzy and I pray that their marriage can withstand this situation. I believe that Mr. McClure learned from his mistake there are many who refuse to allow him to live it down. It is obvious that he loves his family. This man adopted the twins if that doesn’t show that he’s a man of substance I don’t know what will. There are a lot of men who don’t take care of their children and he’s not one of them. Just Sayin.

It’s funny how last night I kind of got into a small debate about women who have been divorced giving a single or married couples advice. The guy felt that a divorced woman couldn’t give advice because her marriage didn’t last. As if a wife is solely responsible for keeping a marriage together. A person can’t keep a person who doesn’t want to be kept. In my opinion marriages end every day for different reasons. If a man cheats should a woman stay? If a woman cheats should a man stay? If a man is a drug addict should a woman stay? I get tired of one sided people. This man calls himself a Christian yet it’s the wife’s fault if a marriage falls apart? What happened to the husband being the head bruh? One of his female facebook’s friends jumped on the post coming for me. SMH! Ummm Sis. You go right ahead on and talk to yourself. Long story short I believe that experience is the best teacher. A mistake is a mistake no matter what kind that it is. Oh we can choose what a mistake is now? Suppose people got married young and things didn’t work out? Maybe the people who got married young can give advice about why getting married young was a bad choice. The base word of message is mess. A message can’t happen without a mess happening. We can learn from the past that’s why they teach history in school.

I don’t know about anyone else but I refuse to be bonded by my mistakes. I’m not going to keep reliving things. I might get involved with a partner and have to explain something that happened years ago? I don’t think so. If a person was married before okay then they should share that information. No one wants to have their past dug up. Our present is a gift that affects our future. The past is over and we have to be careful of people who are out to hurt us. Mr.McClure’s tweets are many years old and no I am not saying it’s okay. All I am asking is how long do we have to keep reliving something that is over? And why is it that some people gets a quicker pass than others? They will extend the courtesy a million miles long for certain people. I refuse to not live my life to the fullest out of fear. I have dealt with my past as far as I am concerned if there is nothing in my past that will hurt my partner later then there is nothing to discuss. Cars don’t drive backwards. People don’t walk backwards. So why should I live my life constantly looking back. Everyone has made mistakes and will continue to do so it’s called being human. The worst thing about a mistake is if nothing was learned from it. So I am erasing my past mistakes unless they can be useful to somebody else, besides that there is no need of studying my past one won’t be able to earn a degree from it.
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I’m Not For Racism

I’m not for racism but I can’t stand hypocrisy either. Stupidity doesn’t work well for me. I have said this time and time again I hate the “N” word, no one should use it regardless of their race!

Yes. The CEO of Papa John’s was wrong along with everyone who uses racial slurs no one is better than a anyone else. Some black people use the “N” word but get up in an uproar when someone from another race uses it. What’s the difference? Can someone please explain this to me? I read a post from a person stating that they didn’t feel sorry for the CEO of Papa John’s that they don’t feel sorry for racists. Yet this person has never corrected the black people who uses the word. The person only talked about the “racist white people” who uses it. Well let me ask something is a black person who uses the “N” word racist? One needs to be careful about the reasons why it’s okay for black people to be able to use that word.

The definition of the “N” word is Slang: Extremely Disparaging and Offensive.
a contemptuous term used to refer to a black person.
a contemptuous term used to refer to a member of any dark-skinned people.

This is why I speak of the dysfunction within the black community some thinks it’s okay to use the “N” like they get a free pass. If this word is so offensive why is it okay for anyone to use it? I have some people who want to bully me because of my mentality it’s okay with me because I don’t take them seriously.

I get tired of all the foolishness that I see. Every time a white person gets caught saying a racial slur “it’s see I told you” but they don’t correct the black people who say it. I believe and I could be wrong but some people love to choose battles that are easy. Some black people know if they complain enough companies will fire people and apologize immediately. They won’t say anything to the black people who use the “N” because they may use it themselves or the feel that they are justified to use it.

Some people have a bullying spirit they are ready to jump on those who they can intimidate. Just like how some of these black men be on the internet calling black women names and talking about how they are. Some of these black men claim to care about the community but they don’t say a word to black men. The last time I checked the black community consisted of more than just the women. And no I’m not getting off track I’m talking about the hypocrisy that goes on.

When some black people get upset about another race using the “N” word and not their own. Isn’t that calling the kettle black? Come on now!!! People are good at holding up a mirror up at other people but would rather drop it and chance getting cut by glass before they are willing to face themselves.

Happy 4th of July

Happy 4th of July! To Everyone! Blessings!

Now that I have gotten that part out of the way. Here we go! Here comes the “woke folks” talking about Independence Day. How our ancestors wasn’t free. Indeed, But we are free today.

I am getting to the point where I almost dread the hoildays because you can count on someone ruining it. People giving a history lesson and I guarantee that they flunked social studies in school. Go sit down somewhere and quit being a stick in the mud that stirs up junk.
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If people have such a huge problem with Independence Day I tell you what don’t be off from work or cookout on the grill because that’s being a hypocrite.

Don’t get me wrong I am aware of the history that took place, I’m just not for division. Yes, my ancestors were slaves but that was back in the day. I refuse to walk around angry behind things that took place centuries ago. It’s like me walking around being angry about an ex from years ago. Some people have love for an abusive ex and forgives them. Yet these same people are angry at white people from centuries ago whom they never met? I’ll be honest I don’t know much about my ancestors my family didn’t keep track of it. Some people are so selective with what they choose to fight about. I’m like New Edition you can count me out!!!

Waiting to Be Forgiven

Learning the art of forgiveness can sometimes be a hard lesson to take. Everyone talks about the hurt that has happened to them and how they have trouble forgiving the person who has wronged them. Sadly we are living in a world where people are always the victim, and they never accept accountability for anything. Still, does anyone ever think about how would it feel if the shoe were on the other foot? What if it’s you who is waiting to be forgiven? Is it ever too late to say that you are sorry? Whether it was unintentional or intentional, everyone has hurt someone before. Nobody is above offending someone.

Yes. It’s always best to forgive after all forgiveness is for our peace of mind. It’s mentally exhausting stressing about something that we have no control over. Life is not like a DVD; there are no alternate endings things are what they are. So there is no need to regurgitate a situation continuously.

I read a post about forgiveness that was interesting; it almost sounded like a guilt trip. It said something about not blocking blessings by holding grudges aka unforgiveness in one’s heart. When we are the ones waiting for forgiveness, we can’t speed up the process no matter how much it may hurt. Like a cut or bruise, it takes time to heal.

I also thought about a television show that featured a situation that required forgiveness. A boyfriend caught his girlfriend kissing a close friend of theirs. The boyfriend felt destroyed; he loved his girlfriend so much. The girlfriend apologized, and the boyfriend accepted it; however, he asked her for space. For weeks the girlfriend did everything that she could to make situations happen so that she could cross her boyfriend’s path. Finally, the girlfriend built up the courage to talk to her boyfriend. She told him that it had been weeks and that she wanted to speak. The boyfriend called her out on her actions, immediately expressing that he told her that he needed some space and that she only wanted to talk so that she could feel better about herself. He further went on to say that he knew that it was hard for her, but it wasn’t his problem.

When we try to force a person to forgive us on our terms, it can make the person that we offended question if our apology was even authentic. We have to remember that everyone is different and heal at different rates. It’s essential to respect a person’s space if they ask for it.

Forgiveness is a two-way street. If we ever hurt someone, we should make an apology quickly, own it, and make things right. When we own what we have done, it should not be shared. Making a person share the blame for what we have done is never cool. Sometimes we can hurt a person so severely that it may burn a bridge and we have to move on. As we get older, it should be about doing adult things like producing a healthy environment with the people that we care about. It’s childish and selfish to care only about ourselves. It’s vital if we can to not do things that can jeopardize relationships with the people we care about. I would rather spend my time enjoying the relationships that I have with people instead of waiting to be forgiven.

Love Isn’t

If I see another commercial for the new show Love is, I am going to scream. Love is a new show that will be on OWN the commercial is being played in heavy rotation. It looks like it’s about struggle love and well I won’t be watching it.

Guess who doesn’t seem to be enduring struggle love? Okay, I’ll give you a hint. The show Love is will be on her network. Yeap. Oprah. We all know goodness well that she wouldn’t take any kind of mess from no one especially from a man. She has been with Stedman for how many years? I’m pretty sure that she has never had to question Stedman’s love for her or take any kind of mistreatment. I bet he has proposed too. But she’s featuring struggle love on her network. Come on now.

We all know that most people mimic what they see on television. That’s why on commercials that displays crazy stunts there are small words on the bottom of the t.v screen saying please do not attempt because there are people who are silly enough to do it. Just look at the fire challenges and other crazy challenges.

Lets talk about what love isn’t it’s not a struggle because real love shouldn’t be. I for one am not glutton for punishment. Yeah I said it. One have to question their self-esteem if they are willing to put up with mistreatment. Some things are by choice whether we choose to accept this or not.

When I watch Maury and the women be on the show talking about the reasons why they feel that their men are cheating. I be thinking to myself how much more proof do you need? Why do you need a lie detector test? The boyfriend or husband is then brought on stage to tell their lie I mean their side of the story. Maury reads the results that these women already knew. Sometimes these men make out with a decoy knowing it’s a set-up but they don’t care. The women run backstage crying while the men are looking all stupid in the face and some be snickering. Why should it be such a power struggle between what you deserve and why you choose to settle for less? I just don’t get it.

What is going on? Now a days it’s about how much abuse is a person willing to take to prove their love, it’s crazy to me. We teach people how to treat us. A person who truly loves you would never want to see you hurt.
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Bottom line when you force yourself to be with someone who isn’t meant for you, you’re only prolonging what is meant. People have to know their worth and go for what they deserve. If you are feeling more hurt than love then you already know what to do, let it go.

Simple Advice

Relationships, marriages, and Friendships are some of God’s Greatest invention
So take the time to enjoy them
Pick people who don’t have egos
Because it’s something that
They will never let go of
You are
Too priceless to care about the opinions
Of people that doesn’t
Add to your worth but subtracts
Forget that
Love is too beautiful
For a person to live
Their whole life
And never experience how it feels
Time is too short
To spend it on
A person that it wasn’t meant for
Hurt is too painful
To receive from someone
Who doesn’t care for you
Tears are too precious
To fall behind someone
Who’s not worth it
Tears should be of joy
No one should be
With a person
Whom they love
More than they love themselves
Because it will always show
Through their treatment
There just isn’t any respect
If a relationship or marriage
Isn’t Christ based
Why even entertain it
It will eventually
Turn out to be a waste
True love is never a mistake
The right one doesn’t
Make you feel as if you
Should be search for more
Because it feels like
Something is missing
The perfect one knows you
As well as you know yourself
They may not have the exact
Same interest as you
Still their awareness of them
Is important too
Know your worth
And don’t allow a person
To talk you down
You are not a piece
Of real estate
Never compromise
If your standards are too
High for a person tell
The person bye
The right one person
Will do what it takes
To have you
They recognize your value
If a person wants something
Or someone bad enough
They will do what
It takes to get it
Things will be if it’s meant
So never fall for a
Guilt trip
Save that feeling
For a cheat day of a diet
There is so much
Beauty in this world that was
Created by God Almighty
Not to share it with somebody
When you do find that
Special person
Give more
So that you two
Can build more
And search for ways
To keep your love strong

God’s Children

In 1994, I was working at a convenience store, one of my coworkers and I would bring in different cassettes to help the shift pass by. She brought in Shania Twain for me to listen to and I brought in Korn. We listened to Shania Twain’s song called “Any Man of Mine”. I told my coworker how much I enjoyed Shania’s song; it had a different sound. To me it was like the turning point of country music. I put on my Korn cassette and the song called “Blind” began to play. My co-worker was like “Tameeka that music is too hard for me”.

I have been a huge fan of Korn every since the band first came out. My mustang was covered in bumper stickers and Korn was one of them.

As I have shared I was raised in a Christian household but I have not always followed closely with Christ and as a result have made mistakes. When it comes to being a Christian we should be quick to love and slow to judge because everyone have blemishes that are on our life’s record.

I remember when Brian “Head” Welch left Korn to focus on having a relationship with Christ. It was a very life changing experience for him. God will take us away from people and things as a way to get our attention it’s the only way that we will listen. Brian endured a lot but through it all God had his back several events showed him that.

One day God told him to rejoin the band Korn. God told Brian to look out at the audience and that all those people are His children too. The hardest part of Brian’s walk probably was and still is other Christians being judgemental. Of all the people in the world Christians should be the most understanding.

Now don’t get me wrong I understand that God says to judge righteously but being judgemental is different. When we as Christians set up boundaries about who real Christians are or what they are called to do it set up barriers. Boundaries becomes unnecessary making barriers blocking us from giving good service. Good service is allowing God to use us so that we can do God’s work. If we as Christians become selective of who we reach it causes people who wants to have a relationship with Christ to become discouraged. Discouragement is never helpful to anyone. I know that I never want to be responsible for sending a person to hell, that’s a burden that I do not want to bear.

The Bible is filled with people who went through trials and tribulations, this is why we should pray for discernment so that we won’t get in the way of what God is doing. God can use anyone because we are God’s children. There is hope for everyone because God can save anyone.

The Bible tells us to be careful how we treat people that we may be entertaining an angel. God is not one of confusion He would not give anyone permission to mistreat someone based on their views.

John 7:24 Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.

The Headaches of Dating Interracially

The other day I saw a post from a white lady that said:

“Dear Black men and black women,
Why is that when love joins two people together of different races does this become a problem with you? You say that you love and serve God yet your hatred from the unity of two people in love says differently. God didn’t teach this. If you hate on others it is like hating yourself. Stop that. Stop creating problems where there is no problem. Leave people to live, love and to be free. It’s as simple as that. I love you all and God loves you most. Be good and kind to each other. As God says love one another as you love ourselves. Amen”

I have nothing against this lady she’s wonderful but she really got me to thinking. Especially about people’s true thoughts on interracial dating. On Youtube videos of Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex they are filled with hateful words some are from white people who are calling her racist names. Meghan is half black and half white, yet they look at her as being completely black. Which to me is racist. Why can’t Meghan be seen for the person that she is? Racist people can’t do it, that’s why.

Now I am not sure of what exactly she saw that made her post this. However, I could give a hill of beans about who black men date or marry. I am not into black men and they can date whomever they choose. I hope that they feel the same way about black women too. It’s crazy to me. This lady addressed black people it’s highly doubtful that she saw Chelsy Davy’s face. Please don’t tell me that it was just because Harry was getting married either. In case a reminder is needed of Chelsy’s expression at Prince Harry and Meghan’s wedding. Her facial impression was so apparent that it produced a sea of memes.
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I remember when a white guy that I was talking to said that everyone is a little racist. I’m not sure whether or not that it’s really true. I do know by this lady making a post it could mean a few things mostly that she saw something that a black person did.

If we look at the rate that black men date out people are used to it. Most people are used to seeing black men with women of other races. Black women are just becoming comfortable with opening up their dating options. I have experience dating white men and I have gotten stares from black men as well as white women. So it’s not a black people thing only, it’s a racial thing that shows when people of different races are dating.
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https://youtu.be/ufdz9O8TUIw

For the Time That We Are Here

Lit a candle in remembrance
Of all the people
Who passed away
Someone’s best friend
Someone’s wife or husband
Someone’s brother, sister, or cousin
Someone who was held near and dear
The pain of loss
Can put anybody into tears
And then here comes the fears
The realization
Of how short life is
Becomes painfully clear
Some people prepare
By having a relationship with Jesus Christ
Some people prepare
By getting life insurance
Some people prepare
In others ways
And all of these things are great
Regardless of what people
Do as ways to prepare
What do we do
For the time that
We are still here
Life is precious
It should not be spent
Wasting time
On hate
On grudges
On fear
We should live
A life that is filled with love
A life with a heart of forgiveness
A life that is lived fearless
Forgetting about the things
That we cannot fix
It shouldn’t have to take
The passing of someone special
To realize this
We should live life
Appreciating the people
Today before they go away
There are not many
Opportunities for second chances
So when they present
Themselves grab them
All while enjoying the lives
That we are blessed with
Because it’s a gift

For the Record

One of the things that I admire about Jack White is his love for vinyl records but I do not like to repeat myself like a scratched LP. Several times I have shared my feelings pertaining to politics. I do not like to get into politics, especially with people who cannot respect a person’s right to support what one chooses. The only time I get worked up about politics is when I feel that my religious freedoms are at stake.

I grew up in a Christian household. We went to church every Sunday and sometimes Bible study would be held in our home. My mother would vote in every election and she voted democratic across the board. When my sisters and I turned 18 we had to register to vote. For the record my mother worked hard up until she wasn’t able to because she was dying from cancer. Let me share the kind of mother that she was the last Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner she cooked before she died was done while she was in a wheelchair. My mother did not live off the government but she felt that democrats cared about poor people. She instilled her beliefs into my sisters and I. I changed my mind about republicans once I met a politician name Thelma Drake. One of the first posts that I wrote on my blog was about Thelma Drake and how she changed my mind about republicans and democrats.

There can be so much confusion that comes out of politics. I mean shoot someone might judge me because I love Jack White. Jack White has voiced his opinion more than once about Trump. Someone might judge a person who calls themselves a Christian and is conservative, yet supports gay rights. The biggest opinion right now is people who voted for Trump are all racists. Which isn’t the truth. See what I mean? I just don’t like to get into politics too much for so many reasons. It’s simply not always black and white when it comes to politics, yet many people act like it is.

I have witnessed great people have a falling out behind politics. In my opinion when we scratch beneath the surface of politics it all boils down to the ideology lines between democrats and republicans. It’s just my opinion on things. If it’s okay to have an opinion. Another thing Trump is the president, we have to accept and respect it. Just because people doesn’t like the fact that Trump is president will not change it. People once had to accept that Obama was president too.

What makes our country great is our right to choose. It’s crazy that in a country where we have the right to vote for who we want in the office drag out fights occur behind it. It doesn’t make any kind of sense to me. Why do things have to get so ugly? So whether you are a donkey or elephant, so what. Can we all agree to disagree? Vote for and support for whomever is it that makes you happy, just don’t be ugly about it. For every reason why a person feels it’s right to be democratic, someone can come up with reasons why republicans are right.
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