past

Our History

A past is something that we all have. Today will be yesterday by this time tomorrow. Will I make a mistake? Will I offend someone? Will I overcook my broccoli? Will I wear my wig wrong and never be able to live it down? Will someone have a problem with the way that I lived my life ten years from now? When I get into a relationship how much of my past is owed to my partner? If I have worked my past out with God why should I have to dig up old bones again? I am not trying to pull out skeletons that are in my closet and lay them across the bed like a wardrobe. Explaining this mistake and that mistake. Really?! I am torn about this subject. I have so many questions and feelings.

In the news there has been waves made about this amazing Youtube couple name Justin and Ami McClure. Mr. and Mrs. McClure are a interracial couple who has a set of twins and a son. Recently, Mr. McClure’s past came back to haunt him. Many years ago before Mr. McClure got married he made some racist tweets about black people and black women. This situation has caused a media frenzy and I pray that their marriage can withstand this situation. I believe that Mr. McClure learned from his mistake there are many who refuse to allow him to live it down. It is obvious that he loves his family. This man adopted the twins if that doesn’t show that he’s a man of substance I don’t know what will. There are a lot of men who don’t take care of their children and he’s not one of them. Just Sayin.

It’s funny how last night I kind of got into a small debate about women who have been divorced giving a single or married couples advice. The guy felt that a divorced woman couldn’t give advice because her marriage didn’t last. As if a wife is solely responsible for keeping a marriage together. A person can’t keep a person who doesn’t want to be kept. In my opinion marriages end every day for different reasons. If a man cheats should a woman stay? If a woman cheats should a man stay? If a man is a drug addict should a woman stay? I get tired of one sided people. This man calls himself a Christian yet it’s the wife’s fault if a marriage falls apart? What happened to the husband being the head bruh? One of his female facebook’s friends jumped on the post coming for me. SMH! Ummm Sis. You go right ahead on and talk to yourself. Long story short I believe that experience is the best teacher. A mistake is a mistake no matter what kind that it is. Oh we can choose what a mistake is now? Suppose people got married young and things didn’t work out? Maybe the people who got married young can give advice about why getting married young was a bad choice. The base word of message is mess. A message can’t happen without a mess happening. We can learn from the past that’s why they teach history in school.

I don’t know about anyone else but I refuse to be bonded by my mistakes. I’m not going to keep reliving things. I might get involved with a partner and have to explain something that happened years ago? I don’t think so. If a person was married before okay then they should share that information. No one wants to have their past dug up. Our present is a gift that affects our future. The past is over and we have to be careful of people who are out to hurt us. Mr.McClure’s tweets are many years old and no I am not saying it’s okay. All I am asking is how long do we have to keep reliving something that is over? And why is it that some people gets a quicker pass than others? They will extend the courtesy a million miles long for certain people. I refuse to not live my life to the fullest out of fear. I have dealt with my past as far as I am concerned if there is nothing in my past that will hurt my partner later then there is nothing to discuss. Cars don’t drive backwards. People don’t walk backwards. So why should I live my life constantly looking back. Everyone has made mistakes and will continue to do so it’s called being human. The worst thing about a mistake is if nothing was learned from it. So I am erasing my past mistakes unless they can be useful to somebody else, besides that there is no need of studying my past one won’t be able to earn a degree from it.
menghapus-dosa

Don’t Be Afraid

Over the last couple of days, some black people have been in a rage about what Ciara said about leveling up!!! I have seen women getting into arguments on social media. Ciara has been under attack. Quickly some people reminded her of her past relationship. Newsflash!!! Ciara is not her past. This is the reason why people don’t like to share their testimonies, out of fear that people will attempt to drag them back to where they came from. There is truth in her words.

I keep seeing some black people saying “Okay, We get it” but they haven’t done anything to change a lot of situations. It’s hard to do anything when you are not receptive to it, and you are bashing the messenger. As the old saying goes, don’t shoot the messenger. If Ciara message offends a person, they need to find out why it does. She is not a problem.

Sometimes people can’t win if you advise with no experience; it’s: “What do you know about my situation?” How can you relate? If people know about your past instead of them being inspired, they pick you apart and attempt to shame you into silence. I don’t follow celebrities a lot; I am just speaking on the backlash that she received. She is a celebrity, so she has zero privacy; the public knows her past. However, some women aren’t famous, who have experienced what she has too. I look at Ciara’s life as an inspiration. She overcame and endured, most importantly she’s happy!!! Happiness is the ultimate goal in relationships and marriages.

We can’t allow our past to keep us bondage. We are not our past. Everyone has a history. Everyone has parts of their lives that they don’t want to read aloud. Some people will receive what is said and some won’t. Some people agreed with Ciara, so what she said was not in vain. Even looking at stories from the Bible, Noah tried to warn people they laughed and called him crazy. Jonah did not want to warn the people of Nineveh. Jonah ran probably out of fear of how the people would receive the message. If a message is placed on your heart don’t be afraid, deliver it someone may need to hear it. It could be the message that they need to give them hope.

I Accept Who I Am Proudly

One thing that I don’t do

And that’s reminisce

About memories from my past

Unless they are ones

That are filled will bliss

Or they in some way

Contribute positively to my present or future

Life is way too short to be miserable

When I look in the mirror

I look beneath the surface way deep

And I am proud of what I see

A woman who has not allowed her past

To be a crutch or to define her

Holds her head up high with pleasure

Busy looking towards the future

As a matter of fact she runs to it

To catch it

Everyone has parts of their lives

Where they wish they could change

Forget or revive

Mine is no different

My life has not been perfect

I had an abusive husband and father

A wonderful mother who died young from cancer

Three beautiful sisters but we still argue

Two sons with a man that God didn’t not send

Unfortunately I made him my husband

One of my sons has autism

Goals and dreams that I have yet to finish

My face still has an occasional blemish

A marriage that has been demolished

But I refuse to wallow in sorrow

The past can not rob me of a great tomorrow

It will just go bankrupt

Cause my past won’t get a loan

No matter how hard it tries to borrow

My past has served it purposes

And I have come to terms of

What was meant happened

What wasn’t meant didn’t happened

Wishing and hoping won’t change it

Regardless I will not stress

I still feel that I am blessed

Through all the mess

Being negative there’s absolutely  no sense in it

I have accepted my life 100%

And I am proud of it