This Time of Year

I always get sad
Around this time of year
It’s when my mother
Left from here
Let me make myself clear
When it comes to
The death of a love one
You never heal
It’s impossible to get over
Losing someone who
You held so near, so dear
To your heart
There are always
Things that remind you
That they are gone
A picture, a memory, a song
Holidays, birthdays
Every time I reached
An important moment in my life
I would whisper
This is for you mom
I often wonder
How things would be like
If she was here
What advice would
She have given me
To help to endure hardships
She was so strong
She was so courageous
She was a leader
She was a blessing
She was my hero
Which is why all
I ever wanted to do
Was to make her happy
And to see her smile
It’s still impossible
For me to talk about her
Without holding back my tears
Bottled up feelings
Resides inside even though
I live my life
As best as I can
Even after twenty-one years this Saturday
It’s still feels as if
She passed yesterday
This is why I say
If you have lost
A special someone
Don’t allow anyone
To make you feel
As if the grief process has a limit
To heck with that
Never feel bad about
Mourning the one you love
Or for missing them
The pain is for life
Death of a love one
Will always hurt

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I Don’t Want To

I don’t want to
Talk about a person
In the past tense
If I don’t have
A present history of praising
Them while they were alive
To do that is being fake
As President Washington once said
I cannot tell a lie
I don’t want to be
In contact with anyone
Who I have troubling complimenting
I don’t want to
Walk around with a
Heart that is full of unforgiveness
Having a heart like that is poisonous
I don’t want to have
Any dealings with people
Who has absolutely no concept
Of how precious life is
Because tomorrow is not promised
Why waste time time on hatred
Why not spend time
Working on forgiveness
And building off of one another’s strength
As we live
Why must it take
A person’s passing
For us to understand this
We have to love today
Admire today
Pray today
Hope today
Smile today
Makes someone who we care about
Day today
Life is too short
To be afraid to do
These things
So let the grudges go
Let the ego go
No one is promised tomorrow

Only Way Out

Today is Chris Cornell’s birthday and some devastating news occurred Chester Bennington took his life. Chester was the lead singer of Linkin Park. He was a close friend of Chris and was the godfather of his youngest child. Today was incredibly sad for me I had planned to listen to Chris Cornell sing all day.

I know a lot of people think that suicide is a selfish act. I believe that it’s a cry for help. Chester sang at Chris’s funeral perhaps it devastated him more than we all knew. I feel sorry for his wife and children. When a person commits suicide they not only leave the people who loved them behind but with unanswered questions. I know that there have been reports of Chester abusing alcohol and drugs. He also battled with depression. Whatever the case was with Chester we will never know what was going on in his head. He was hurting so bad that he saw suicide as his only way out.

We never know what a person is going through if you can’t be kind to them then pray for them. We never want to be responsible for pushing a hurting person over the edge. It doesn’t matter who the person is. It doesn’t matter how rich they are. It doesn’t matter how famous they are. Just like REM sang everybody hurts sometimes. We must reach out to people. If a person shows signs of suicidal tendencies seek help for them immediately. Do not take it lightly.

The Pain Inside

People who aren’t fans will never

Understand they say that we idolize

They think that we are going overboard

For wanting you to receive

The proper recognition that you deserve

I mean who really thinks that what

Took place at the billboard awards

Was proper I mean it was absurd

A moment of silence that lasted

For like a blink of an eye

Because they don’t realize

How your music impacted our lives

How your music got us through

Very tough times

Through tears that we cried

Sometimes day and night

When there was no one in sight

Who we could trust or confide in

Without them passing judgement

People have absolutely no clue

About how the feeling of depression

Can seduce you

Thoughts of negativity

That swarms the mind

The worse part of it

Clueless people think that depression

Is of darkness

They truly have no idea

Depression just is

Anytime it can happen

Like at a finger’s snap

And no one is exempt

Women, men, teen, poor or rich

It swallows you into an abyss

It’s victims constantly

Long for freedom’s kiss

The pain hits hard like a fist

People must understand that no one

Willingly choose to feel like this

I’ve been depression’s victim

Feeling it squeeze the emotions

From out of my body

Had me walking around like a zombie

Thankful for your music

Coming to the rescue

Yes I smile

But behind it

Lies a pain

Like nothing that

I have ever felt before

I am mourning you

Crying the blues

Praying to God

Because I don’t know

What to do

This pain is killing me inside

No one will ever know the reason

Behind what I am feeling inside

I am trying hard to deal with

The pain right now

Is so unreal

Wishing that we had

More time to hear

More of your melodies

More time to enjoy

More memories

Of concerts, new music and videos

Now we are left with wondering

What another albums

Could have been in store

For us to enjoy

Why were you taken away

From us so soon

Your voice could sing any genre

Loved your covers of Billie Jean

And Nothing Compares 2 U

Your lyrics were always just

What we needed

Your music was everything

I say this with the utmost sincerity

From the looks of it

The pain that I am feeling ending

Appears to be nowhere in sight

People who aren’t fans

Will never understand

The treasure that was lost

Missing You Always

Some days are harder than others

Birthdays, holidays, a child’s birth

Wondering how it would be

If you were here with us

I really wish that you

Were on Earth

February 2nd is your birthday

February 3rd 1997 is the day and year

That  you left from here

So many things have taken place

Both good and bad

No matter what

I miss seeing your face

It’s 2017

20 years have gone by

Even now  I still cry

Memories help me to keep going

Like the circus blizzard of March 1980

5 months pregnant

Walking in the snow to

Come to get me off of the school bus

Millions of reasons why you have

And will always will be my hero

Hoping and praying that  I am able

To be at least a fraction of

A person that  you were

I miss you

Not just on Mother’s Day

Not just on Thanksgiving Day

Not just on Christmas Day

But every single day

There will always be

A huge hole in my heart

A band aid nor a first aid kit

Can fix the damage

It’s still hard to manage

Jesus has been my fence

Helping me with the healing

I feel so blue

Everyday that I live

I miss  you mom

You instilled in me

So many things

That are very helpful

Right to this very day

Which have been blessings

I won’t deny my feelings

I am human

I don’t know every answer

I don’t always understand

All  I know is everything

Works as part of God’s plan

Including those He chooses

To call home to Heaven

I continue to trust Him

Grateful for the time

We did spend

Thankful that you raised me

To know God Almighty

Because of that  I believe and know

That  I will see you again

Mom I miss you and  I love you

 

Matthew 5:4

 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

 

What’s Tameeka Listening To?

This is my last What’s Tameeka Listening to post of 2016. I will say this over and over again I love music!!!! When it comes to mainstream music  I enjoy very few songs. My playlist has a lot of old school music in it. I was having a conversation today  and  I was thinking about how  most times my favorite songs by an artist usually isn’t one of their biggest hits. When  I listen to an album I listen to the entire thing not just the big hit. I’ll give an example my two favorite songs by Prince are Money Doesn’t Matter 2 Night and Adore. Most people favorite song by George Micheal is Careless Whisper but my favorite song is Praying for time. Speaking of Prince and George Micheal they will be missed  I can’t believe that they are gone. There were many musicians who passed away this year David Bowie, Phife Dawg, Joey Feek, Maurice White, Natalie Cole, Merle Haggard, Frank Sinatra Jr., Paul Kantner and Glenn Frey to name a few. Life is short get right with Christ, forgive and love.

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Vanity

45th Annual Academy Of Country Music Awards - Concerts On Fremont - Day 2

Joey Feek Country Singer

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Maurice White

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Phife Dawg

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David Bowie

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George Michael

Photo of PRINCE

Prince

These people were some incredibly amazing artist; they will definitely be missed.